“We’ve got to do that more often,” Jenny purred, idly running her hand over my bare chest. She’d managed to lose her clothes somewhere along the way, and was plastered to my side despite the muggy heat.
Beri giggled. “Yeah, that was fun. I really liked it when you held me down and made me lick you while Tom fucked me.”
The dryad idly reached across me to palm Jenny’s breast. My girlfriend made an appreciative sound at the touch.
“You have really nice boobs,” Beri went on. “It’s neat how sensitive they are.”
“I might have spent a couple of points on them,” Jenny admitted. “I get piles of physical points from monsters, so why not get myself the perfect bod along with everything else? I’ve been trying to decide if I should go bigger.”
“Oh, definitely. You need a little more heft for good boob jobs, and really trapping men’s eyes when you bounce. Especially if you’re going to go around wearing clothes and armor and stuff. But the shape is just perfect. I can’t keep my hands off them.”
“It’s all thanks to the status screen. Want me to show you where I found the options for that?”
“Could you? I’m sure I’ll get my hands on more points eventually.”
“No doubt,” I said. “Jenny, I’m not about to complain about you spending points on being even hotter, but don’t get carried away. You do need to be able to fit into your armor. Speaking of which, we should really get moving.”
“I guess,” Jenny sighed, and reluctantly sat up. She stretched, and then smirked when she saw both of us watching. “Best two points ever.”
Beri pouted. “Do you really have to leave so soon? I know you’re worried about the monsters, but I’d really like to show both of you some extra-special appreciation.”
“I wish we could, but my team isn’t tough enough to go wandering around the woods with impunity,” I said. “We need to be really careful for the next few days, until we know what we’re dealing with and farm enough points to handle it.”
“So you’re going to order me to make my girls turn the rest of the guys loose?”
“I’m afraid so, pet.”
A surprisingly self-satisfied grin stole over her face. “Okay, Tom. So, is this going to be a one-time thing, or are you actually going to come back to play with your new pet sometimes? Because Lady Shaylis is impressed with how you handled this whole thing, and so am I.”
“Oh?”
“Uh huh! At first I was afraid everyone was going to fall for the honey trap, which would be fun but kind of disappointing. Then I realized you were on to me, and I was afraid you might do something mean. But then you went and made everything sexy! I had a great time with you and Jenny, and whatever you did to me feels really good. It’s almost like having a partner, only without the magical bond.”
I got up, and started to look for my clothes. They’d gotten strewn about the little clearing a bit in our distraction, mixed with random bits of Jenny’s gear and half-hidden in the gathering gloom. I wasn’t sure if the sun was actually setting yet, but we definitely didn’t have a lot of daylight left.
Still, Beri’s attitude was intriguing.
“Magical bond? How does that work?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s all part of Lady Shaylis’ plan. She’s not just a nature goddess, you know. She’s grabbing agriculture and hunting as part of her domain, so she’s going to be the goddess of conquering and exploiting nature. People like you, who go into the wilderness to hunt monsters and gather resources, are exactly the type she’s looking for.”
Jenny slipped into her panties, and gave Beri a thoughtful look. “This suddenly sounds like the whole grove is just a tool for recruiting worshippers, and maybe finding a good prophet or two.”
Beri giggled. “No one smart expects humans to start worshipping System gods on day two. I think there’s a lot of spiritual stuff that isn’t even ready yet. No, the term you’re looking for is bargainer. A mortal can make a deal with a System god where you do things for each other, and both sides benefit. We dryads can become companions for bargainers if we want to.”
I found my pants, and started putting them on. “What would a goddess want from us puny mortals?”
“How many monsters have you puny mortals killed in the last couple of days? That’s the main thing they all want. Lady Shaylis decided to join the human side, so she gets stronger when people kill monsters in her name. There’s a blessing she gives all her bargainers that improves the points you get from your kills, and also feeds her some of the extra. She can also bless weapons, and convert points from one type to another.”
“For a small fee, I’m sure,” I commented, shrugging on my armor.
“Sounds like a classic fantasy RPG setup,” Jenny said. “Oh, wait. Is there some deal where people can do ritual sacrifices and get special points?”
Beri turned to her in surprise. “Well, yes. I didn’t think anyone would have time for something that complicated right now, so I wasn’t going to bring it up. But if you build a shrine to Lady Shaylis, and kill enemies there with a weapon she blessed, she can reward you with sacred points. Eventually those are going to be really valuable, because they let you buy stuff you’d never figure out on your own. The System gods get more insight into how things work than we do, and they can use that to build special powers for their bargainers to buy.”
Jenny was nodding along. “Uh huh. I get it. So, I’m guessing some gods sided with the monsters, so they give out profane points and have ugly servant monsters? And if you sacrifice enough people to one it might give you a giant people-eating demon monster as a companion?”
Beri shot her a horrified look. “Why would you want to do something so awful?”
“I wouldn’t, obviously, ‘cause I’m not a psycho. But we ran into this guy yesterday who I think must have been doing that. He was working with a monster that didn’t look anything like the regular ones, and when we killed the thing it gave a bunch of profane points. Now I’m really glad I took the hit to convert them to normal points.”
“Wow, you guys killed a demon? I’m impressed. Well, if things like that are happening that’s all the more reason to become a bargainer with Lady Shaylis. Using too many profane points will turn you into a monster, but her blessing will convert them to sacred points instead.”
Beri frowned thoughtfully as I pulled my boots on. “I thought it would be weeks before we had to worry about bargainers working on the other side. Even the smart monsters are too feral to understand bargaining at first, and I never thought humans would change sides like that. This changes everything.”
“How so?” I asked.
“If a monster god has figured out how to bargain with one crazy human, he won’t stop there. It’s probably his whole strategy. Which means I can’t just drop a few hints and trust that you guys will come around eventually. You’ll need backing to deal with stuff like that, and we need eyes and ears out there keeping an eye on our enemies. How can I convince you to become a bargainer?”
I considered that. “You said too many profane points will turn a person into a monster. What does having too many sacred points do?”
“It depends on who they come from,” Beri replied. “Well, right now they’d just make you more human, because no one has had time to fully claim their domains. As the gods get more established their power will take on the aspect of their domains, and start to affect people more. So if you get sacred points from Lady Shaylis they’ll make you better at hunting and farming, more fertile and in tune with nature, that kind of thing. On the other hand if you got points from some god of books and cold logic, they might do the opposite.”
“Is this a permanent commitment?” Jenny asked.
“No, a bargainer can end the deal if they want to, you just lose your blessings if you do. Now, if you earn a lot of favor the Lady might offer you the chance to be a disciple, or even a champion. Those are a more permanent thing. But that won’t even be an option until stuff settles down in the spirit world, and the gods all have a firm hold on their domains.”
“Hmm. Let’s walk as we talk,” I said. “Why don’t you explain a bit about what Shaylis stands for, while we retrieve our wayward party members.”
Beri was happy enough to tell us all about her creator. Reading between the lines, it sounded like the System had created a bunch of AIs or artificial life forms of some kind and turned them loose to compete with each other. Each of them was trying to grab control of a portfolio of abilities and domains, which would determine how powerful they’d end up being and what they could do with the power. One of their abilities was creating servant races to do things for them, since it was hard for them to manifest physically.
No doubt they’d end up grouping into factions and making enemies, at which point we’d have a bunch of religious wars complicating things. As if surviving the monsters wasn’t hard enough. The improved XP gain of being a bargainer was tempting, but it would definitely make us a bigger target for anyone who ended up working with a hostile System god.
On the other hand, did I want to be buddy-buddy with anyone who would end up in that category?
According to Beri, Shaylis had initially wanted to be a dryad-like goddess of fertility and healing, with a sideline in plant and animal control so she could grow mystic groves full of fantastic creatures to serve as temples. But she’d quickly realized the world of the System was too bloody for an order of noncombatants to prosper. So she’d gone on to grab the huntress archetype, and built the whole taming and exploiting nature thing off of that.
“Lady Shaylis still wants love and cooperation to be a big part of our message,” Beri said. “But she says it’s cooperation like a close-knit adventuring party, not a hippie commune. We’ll build groups where we take care of each other, fight together against the System’s monsters, and raise up new generations to carry on the fight when we’re gone.”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“This does sound promising,” I mused.
“Hoping to pick up some bouncy dryad healsluts for the team?” Jenny teased.
“Some what now?” Beri asked. “I don’t know what a healslut is, but it sounds like fun.”
Jenny laughed. “It’s a porny gaming idea. Cute moeblob who adventures in a skimpy costume, and uses sex magic for healing. I don’t think it would work for real.”
“The System seems to have options for everything,” Beri pointed out with a smile. “There might be a way to do it. But being helpless doesn’t sound like a good idea. I was thinking about learning archery until I saw those guns the Dragonslayers use. Now I’m wondering how hard it would be to get one of them.”
“There are more guns in America than there are people,” I said. “I’m sure there are plenty of them lying around to be salvaged.”
I had to smile at the image of a band of buxom blonde dryads roaming the woods with AR-15s in their hands, naked except for the belts they hung their spare magazines from. Maybe the System wasn’t entirely a bad thing.
We’d circled halfway around the little lake in the middle of the grove when another dryad peeked around one of the trees. This one was a redhead, and a bit softer and more top-heavy than our companion.
“Hey, Beri. You wanted to see me?”
“Hey, Petal. Sorry to interrupt everyone’s fun, but the party’s over. These guys passed, and they want their teammates back.”
The new girl pouted. “Aww, that’s too bad. Jason is so starved for sex we could keep him going for a week!”
Beri scoffed. “Please, you’d drain him dry before dawn. None of these guys have that many points. Come on now, back to your bower and tell your little posse to cough him up.”
“In front of the humans?”
“Tom and Jenny already knew about our bowers. Apparently Lady Shaylis got the idea from human stories, so there’s no point in trying to hide it from them. They’re too smart for that.”
Beri slipped under my arm, and pulled Jenny in to make a three-way hug.
Petal smirked at her. “Looks like someone had a good time. Okay, just give us a sec to finish him off first. No guy is leaving my bower unsatisfied.”
She stepped into the tree like it wasn’t even solid, and vanished.
“So, the grove has a magic intercom?” Jenny asked.
“It’s not words, just impressions,” Beri corrected. “But it will get better! Maybe someday we’ll cover the whole world in an invisible web of knowledge, just like you humans.”
“Or we could get you an internet connection, and you could just use ours,” Jenny suggested. She pulled out her phone, and studied it for a moment. “Huh. No signal. I guess we’d have to get you a satellite phone, and a way to keep it charged.”
“Sounds complicated. We might need some hunky technical guy to keep everything working for us,” Beri suggested.
“Yeah, I bet you’d have fun with that,” Jenny said.
I was about to comment when a naked guy stumbled out of a nearby tree, and fell on his ass. A pair of blue jeans flew out to smack him in the face, followed by a backpack and various other bits of gear.
“So long, Jason. It’s been fun, but we’re done now,” Petal said.
“Yep, yep, time to go,” a little brunette dryad added, tossing a pair of boots on the grass.
“Don’t forget your shirt,” another one added, tossing it over his head.
“Bye, now!” They chorused, and retreated into the tree.
“What… but… huh?” Jason mumbled.
I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder, which seemed to startle him enough to bring him out of his daze.
“You got played,” I said. “The dryads sprang a honey trap on you. If we’d left you there they would have kept on until they drained all your unspent points, and probably melted your brain too.”
Jason groaned, and rubbed his head. “Really? It was all a trap?”
Beri giggled. “Yep! Well, we don’t actually have any spells for turning guys into sex zombies, but it sounds like a fun idea. Petal is such a thirsty slut, she’d use your own points to buy the magic to do it.”
“Aw, man. That sucks. Wait, Tom? Where’d you come from?”
“Sheryl called for help. Now put your clothes on. Beri, can you have one of your girls show him back to where everyone else is?”
“Sure, Tom.”
“Without seducing him again?”
“Not a factor,” Jason groaned. “Man, I’m so sore I don’t know if I can move.”
“Have an apple,” Beri offered. “That and a little rest will restore your vitality. Stamen here will guide you back to your friends, with no more hanky-panky.”
Finding the other two missing guys went about the same. They’d gotten themselves spread all over the grove, so there was a fair amount of walking involved in finding them. But Beri was happy to spend the time answering questions, and her cute little minions didn’t give her any trouble over releasing their prisoners.
I did, however, take careful not of the way the dryads treated everyone. When Beri introduced Jenny and I as humans who’d ‘passed the test’ they seemed intrigued, and all of them treated us with a mixture of respect and flirtatious interest. In contrast, the guys we were retrieving got a little teasing, a little mocking, a complete lack of respect and a definite sense that they’d gotten what they wanted and weren’t interested in anything more.
These girls were going to be really popular with any soldiers they came into contact with. Jason and Dale seemed a little miffed, but that was their fault for expecting a bunch of sexual predators to think like humans. Dryads might have a lot in common with us, but their mating instincts clearly weren’t wired the same.
Finally we sent the last of the Dragonslayers back to camp, and Beri led us to another secluded clearing. This one was dominated by a particularly large tree of a species I didn’t recognize, with spreading branches high overhead that cast the whole clearing into shade.
“So, will you do it?” Beri asked. “Will you strike a bargain with Lady Shaylis? You are the first humans to get this chance. Play your cards right, and you could end up being her top people.”
I hesitated, thinking it over.
My natural inclination was to say no. To play it safe, and gather more information before I made a commitment. I only had Beri’s word about how any of this worked, and while she seemed friendly enough I didn’t trust it. I certainly didn’t feel any confidence that those ridiculous orders Jenny had given her while she was entranced would work. She was mostly just playing along because it was fun. If her goddess told her to lie to us she wouldn’t hesitate to do it.
But could I afford to play it safe?
How many times had I almost died in the last two days? If things kept on like this it was only a matter of time before something got me. If I wanted to stick with this adventuring lifestyle I needed all the advantages I could get. Stack up enough advantages, and maybe I could get to the point where farming monsters for points became routine. Build up enough points to become a well-rounded battle mage instead of a guy with a couple of tricks, stack up enough defenses to survive the inevitable mishaps and ambushes, and then maybe I could hope to survive in the long run.
Or I could pack it in, give up the adventuring and try to blend in with a crowd of refugees. Sneak into a big city, find a job, and let someone else do the dangerous work of defending civilization. In a country of three hundred million people, it was the height of arrogance to think that my own efforts would matter. Wasn’t it?
Yeah, no. I had no confidence in the competence of our nation’s current leaders to handle a crisis of this magnitude. Someone, somewhere was bound to survive, but the next few years would be a terrible time to be a refugee. Millions of people were going to die, and the worse things got the more our corrupt political class would abuse their positions. If I didn’t seek power now, I’d have only myself to blame when things went wrong.
So, don’t be stupid about things, but don’t pass up any opportunity to get another edge.
“It would be nice to have a System goddess in our corner,” I finally answered. “How do we negotiate? Is there some way to talk to Lady Shaylis?”
“I’m afraid it’s not that easy. Directly talking with humans is a stupidly expensive power, so it’s going to be a while before our lady can afford it. But she knows everything that happens here in her shrine, and she can send me… impressions? Feelings? I’m not sure how to describe it. Tell me what you want, and I’ll know if she’s okay with it.”
“Right, so, how does this work? I agree to kill monsters, and she gives me that XP blessing?”
“That’s the most basic part of it,” Beri agreed with a nod. “She also wants you to tell people about her, and work with me to turn the grove into a place that gets lots of hunters and other humans passing through.”
“I thought she wasn’t looking for worshippers?” Jenny put in.
“Oh, I didn’t say that,” Beri protested, waving her hands. “I just said she wasn’t expecting it this early. But part of claiming a domain is getting everyone else to agree that it’s yours, and human belief is a big part of that. If lots of humans hear about Shaylis, the goddess of hunting monsters and conquering nature, that does a lot to help her hold onto the domains she’s trying to claim. If they pray to her and make sacrifices in her name that helps even more, and actual worship is a huge deal.”
“Ah, so she’s just giving people time to come to terms with things,” I said.
“Yeah. Oh, um, and she thinks it would be dumb to tell people to worship her when she isn’t ready to take care of their souls yet. Once she has her own realm, and a bunch of spiritual stuff I don’t understand for sending souls where they’re supposed to go, then she’ll be ready to have worshippers.”
I realized after a moment that I was staring. I turned to Jenny, and found the same poleaxed expression I imagine I was wearing. Turned back to Beri.
“What?” She asked, completely clueless.
“Shaylis can give humans an afterlife?” I asked.
“Well, yeah. Of course. How else would we keep everyone from getting eaten by spirit monsters after they die? Only, it’s a big project to make a place where they can go, and it takes a lot of power, and she can only grab souls she has a claim on. Oh! Want to make that part of your bargain? She can tag you when we seal the deal, and then as long as you don’t get killed by a soul-devouring monster she can grab you and take you to her realm if you die.”
“Yeah, let’s definitely put that in there,” I said.
“What happens to people who don’t have a deal like that?” Jenny asked.
Beri shrugged. “They wander around the spirit realm until something gets them, I guess. There are monsters there that can eat them, and a few thousand System gods that can either help them or prey on them, and probably other stuff I don’t know about. The System likes to turn everything into a big fight for survival.”
“Sounds like we should get everyone we know into a bargain as soon as we can,” Jenny said.
“Probably. I’m hearing a lot of good reasons to make a deal, but nothing that would help us win a fight if we walk out of the grove and run into another demon.”
“There are a bunch of ways to do that, but they all have their pros and cons. She could give you demon slaying powers, but that would give you a spiritual alignment and make you vulnerable to some kinds of magic. She could put a demon-slaying enchantment on a weapon, or teach you some holy magic, but weapons can break and casting spells takes mana. Or she could let you summon one of her personal servants as a familiar. I get the impression that they’re going to be pretty strong, but they’ll need to get practical experience somehow.”
“Are we talking angels or monster girls?” Jenny asked.
“I’m not sure,” Beri replied. “I’m getting an image of fierce, beautiful warrior women. Only, it takes some points to set up the summoning link, so you’ll need to kill a few monsters to pay for it. Plus, she hasn’t actually made them yet, so it will be a few days before she can deliver on that part.”
“Sounds promising,” Jenny said. “Okay, so we both get this XP blessing, and the soul tag thing. I want one of those monster sacrifice blessings on my spear, and a demon slaying enchantment too. Tom, I guess you’ll want a badass angel summons and some holy magic?”
“Probably. Can I get the sacrifice blessing on a gun?”
“It would have to go on the bullets, so that wouldn’t work,” Beri aid. Then she paused, and cocked her head. “Hold on. Huh. Okay, since you’re a wizard there’s another way. My lady can give you a blessing that lets you make temporary sacrifice weapons, and then you can use it on whatever you want.”
“That will work. How do we do this?”
Beri bounced and clapped her hands in excitement. “Awesome! Okay, we just need to do a little ceremony at the tree. Oh, wait, I bet I need to show you how to push points out.”
“How much is this going to cost?” Jenny asked.
“Lady Shaylis is anxious to get her first bargainers, so just one point from each of you to seal the deal. That will cover the blessings, the soul tags and the demon slaying weapon. Tom, she’s happy to assign one of her first warrior servants to be your familiar, but it takes a lot of power to anchor them in the material world. So she’ll take the cost of that out of the sacrifices you send her, and then arrange for your new friend to meet you when everything is ready.”
“That sounds fair,” I said.
“Great! Okay, pushing points out is easy. You just need to open your status screen, put it in advanced mode, and click the little red button next to your unspent points. That will open a popup that lets you pick how many points to express, and which method to use. Pick blood, and get ready to prick yourself with a knife when I give you your cue. It only takes a few drops, so don’t get carried away.”
“Got it,” Jenny said. “So there’s a ritual? That’s so fantasy.”
Beri giggled. “Isn’t it? Okay, let’s do this. Lady Shaylis, fierce huntress of the wilds, hear your servant’s call! I bring before you today two petitioners, who would bargain for a share of your bounty…”
As the ritual went on I couldn’t help but notice the shadows spreading across the clearing. We were running out of daylight.