“Let me get this straight,” Beth said, rubbing her forehead. “These kids went off into the woods looking for adventure, like they were playing some kind of fantasy video game. Then they got into trouble, and instead of calling 911 like any sane person they want us to come and save them.”
We’d all gathered in the hotel’s conference room, once the fighting and the cleanup were done. An empty expanse of burned-out fields now surrounded the hotel on three sides, giving our sentries open sight lines and a clear field of fire. We’d found the ant nest, poured a few cans of gasoline down the open holes and lit it on fire, which would hopefully deal with whatever was down there.
One of the militiamen had died in the fighting, which no one was happy about. Most of us had gotten injured, and there were several cases that were serious enough to be disabling. But Earl had made sure everyone got at least one mist orb, and Linda had turned out to be a better healer than I was. She’d been a nurse before the System, and she’d imported her medical skills and then spent most of her points enhancing them. The men she was treating would be fine by morning.
Now we had to decide what to do next.
“It’s not like the cops are going to drive up into the hills to save someone,” Earl pointed out reasonably. “They’ve got their hands full trying to protect the suburbs around Scottsbow while the city government gets some defenses in place.”
“Yeah, and Sheryl doesn’t want her daddy to know what she’s been up to,” Jenny pointed out. “He’s the sheriff, and there’s no way he’d be down with his little girl leaving town on a treasure hunt.”
“All the more reason why we should tell him,” Beth replied.
Jenny frowned. “We kind of owe them one from when they helped out at the junkyard. Besides, if we keep their secret they’ll feel obligated to help us out next time we need it.”
I looked around the crowded little conference room with its cheap, generic furniture, considering my audience. You could tell a lot about how the group was changing just from the way we arranged ourselves.
Jenny sat to my right, with Shasa to my left, both of them smelling of smoke and blood. Jenny had a box of .45 ACP in front of her, and was reloading spent magazines as we talked. Shasa had a wet rag, and was scrubbing at the traces of ichor on her mace with a comical look of concentration.
Earl sat on the other side of the table, still sweaty and reeking of cordite. Sara was with him, proudly wearing that leather collar he’d given her and casting adoring looks his way. She was still clean and fresh, since she hadn’t set foot outside the building all day, and dressed to show off her System-enhanced figure. She’d been cute before, but she’d clearly gotten a point or two from somewhere and dropped them right into good looks.
Beth had claimed the head of the table, with Bob sitting to her left. The tubby hipster turned muscle man had gotten a bit bigger since I’d last seen him, so I suppose he must have killed something. He was trying to put on a tough bodyguard scowl, but only managed to look constipated. Beth looked like some evil queen in her black leather ensemble, but the way she treated Bob was a lot more doting than I’d expected.
Amanda sat alone at the foot of the table, typing away on her phone and grumbling under her breath. The odd girl out, and not liking it one bit.
Three very different groups, still trying to cooperate but very clearly drifting apart. That might not be a bad thing if we were in a big city, but in a town this size there were all too many people who’d remember we showed up together. If things blew up I was stuck in the blast radius, and both of my fellow doms were doing things that worried me. But lecturing them about restraint would just undermine my own credibility. First I needed to convince them that I was worth listening to.
I settled on my approach, and cleared my throat.
“I think we should consider it,” I began. “For several reasons. These kids may not have the best judgement, but they’ve been doing this adventuring routine since the System came online and they’re still alive. They’ve got guts, and by now they must have a lot of points too. So they could make good allies if we make a favorable impression on them. Also, this treasure grove they’ve discovered is important. Understanding how these things work could save our lives someday.”
“Because it’s a safe zone?” Jenny asked.
“Exactly. If we find ourselves fleeing a fallen settlement at some point, knowing how to find places like that could be a life saver. Also, it sounds like the resources they produce will be useful. Sheryl said they’ve already found berries that strengthen your defense aura, and apples that give a big health boost. They’re still exploring the grove, so there’s no telling what else they might find, and there’s enough of this stuff to supply a good-size group.”
“We could strengthen the whole defense force,” Beth mused.
“Or sell some of it,” I pointed out.
“Or you could get yourselves killed,” Amanda objected. “This is crazy talk, Tom. You can barely keep the hotel safe, and now you want to go hiking through some monster-infested jungle in the middle of nowhere. You people are going to get yourselves killed at this rate.”
“You make it sound like you’re not involved,” Earl commented.
“I’m getting out of here,” Amanda replied. “I just need to make it to the airport by two, and I’m on my way back to the Big Apple.”
“This town has an airport?” I asked.
“Barely,” Sara said. “It’s one of those tiny places that can only handle crop dusters and stuff. But I thought the planes were all grounded?”
“That’s only the airlines,” Amanda explained. “There are lots of guys with private planes who don’t mind giving stranded vacationers a lift, for the right price. Want to come with me? This guy says he’s got room for one more passenger, as long as they’re light, and Daddy has security meeting me at the airport. You could be sleeping in my penthouse tonight.”
Sara’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not abandoning my man after one day, Amanda. If we decide to run off to a big city we’ll do it together. But good luck with your trip.”
“Thanks,” Amanda started to say.
“I hope you don’t get eaten waiting around at a deserted country airport, or have the plane crash from a monster attack, or get kidnapped or murdered or sold into slavery by a dishonest pilot, or land in an airport that turns out to be overrun with monsters, or-”
“Enough already!” Amanda broke in. “Jesus, Sara, what crawled up your butt?”
“You keep trying to talk me into being your little minion, and everything you say sounds perfectly reasonable until you leave and I have a few minutes to think about it,” Sara replied. “Whatever you’re doing, you’d better put more points in it before you get caught. But I’m tired of being your guinea pig.”
“I’m not doing anything,” Amanda protested. “You’re just paranoid. You know what, fine, forget doing you a favor. You can just stay here with your misogynist jerk boyfriend and get turned into a mindless broodmare. I’m going back to civilization. Beth, can I get a couple of guys to drive me to the airport?”
“Not going to offer me a ride?” Beth asked.
Amanda snorted. “You’d have me brainwashed before the plane landed. Besides, you’re loving this little queendom of yours. You’re not going anywhere.”
“True,” Beth conceded. “Very well. Get your things together, and I’ll find someone to see you off safely. But that means you’ve no stake in the rest of this conversation.”
“I suppose not. Good luck, guys. Look me up in New York if you ever need a place to stay.”
Amanda left. We all watched her go, and there was a moment of thoughtful silence.
“Good riddance,” Jenny finally said. “She’s nothing but trouble.”
“Making moves on another dom’s submissive is definitely inappropriate,” Beth agreed. “I presume we can all agree to be more civilized than that?”
“Bob is completely safe from my evil schemes,” I assured her.
The big guy reddened. “I’d better be. Not gay here.”
“None of us are,” Earl agreed. “No worries, Beth. Messing with another man’s girl is against the bro code.”
“Agreed,” I said. “I do think we need to sit down and have the dreaded mind control morality discussion at some point. If we’re working together we’re implicitly endorsing each other’s activities, and there are a lot of ways things could go wrong. But right now we’ve got a more urgent issue.”
Beth sighed, and shook her head. “Those crazy kids.”
“How remote is this place they’re at?” Earl asked.
“Sheryl says they drove most of the way, then parked on the side of the road and hiked the last mile or so. I’m thinking this is a quick in and out rather than a long expedition, and they’ve already cleared out a lot of the wildlife along the route.”
“But not these pigs,” Beth observed. “If they’re so tough, why did they have to run from giant pigs?”
Earl guffawed. “A normal boar is more dangerous than a bear, Beth. They’re mean, they’re cunning, and if they get close enough to charge you shooting them don’t help much. By the time they realize they’re dead they’ve already gored you, knocked you down and trampled you. You have to hunt the wild ones to keep the population under control, but these days they do it from helicopters because getting up close and personal with them is too dangerous.”
“Yeah, I can just imagine what a nightmare a boar with regeneration and an armored skull would be,” I agreed. “But so far it seems like mutated animals keep a lot of their original instincts, and mammals are always afraid of fire. I figure a flame bolt to the face will discourage a charging boar pretty effectively, and Jenny has a boar spear.”
“I don’t know that I have much to contribute to a fight like that,” Beth said. “My talents are more social than martial. Besides, the hotel clearly needs better defenses, and that’s not going to happen unless I’m here to organize things. I was thinking I’d send work parties to scavenge materials from the buildings the hell cows wrecked, and use them to build a fence around the parking lot.”
“That’s going to be a big project if we want something sturdy enough to stop monsters, but the sooner we start the sooner it will get done,” I mused. “Do you have a carpenter in your crew?”
“Two of them,” she said. “Also a plumber, an electrician and several handymen. I’m trying to make sure all our bases are covered here.”
“I suppose you’ll want to keep Bob with you, then,” Earl said.
“I don’t know about that. Bob, you have that giant gun. Would that kill a boar?”
“Oh, yeah. My Barret will kill anything,” he confidently boasted. “But who’s going to keep you safe if I’m gone?”
“I don’t plan to go anywhere else today. I’m sure I’ll be safe in the hotel, with the whole defense force standing guard. Besides, didn’t you want more points?”
“Yes, Mistress! I’ve got some ideas you’re really going to like.”
“You’re such a good boy. Well, I can see why you’d be interested in this, Tom. It could be a good opportunity. But if it goes wrong there won’t be anyone around to save you. Earl, you’re the one with the most experience in the wilderness. What do you think?”
Earl frowned thoughtfully. “Do we have enough pipe on hand to make a couple more of those spears?”
“Sure. I stocked up.”
“Then I’m thinking we go for it,” he said.
Sara cringed. “I don’t think I can fight, Master,” she said softly.
Earl patted her on the head. “No one expects you to, sweetie. You have other talents.”
Sara ducked her head, and blushed prettily. “Thank you, Master. But what if something happens to you?”
“Just hiding here in the hotel won’t be any safer in the long run, sweetie. Like Jenny said, the monsters are getting tougher and we need to keep up. But we know what we’re getting into here. We just need to make a good plan, and be prepared.”
“Better plan quick,” Jenny commented. “I’m not sure when the sun’s going to set-”
“Oh! I’ve got this!” Sara interrupted, tapping furiously on her phone. “Um… yeah, sunset starts at 7:54 PM, and it looks like about an hour of sunset and twilight before it gets really dark.”
“Huh. You’ve got an app for that?” Jenny asked.
“I am the app mistress,” Sara replied. “If it’s on the internet I’ve got an app for it, and everything is on the internet.”
“Handy. Well, we can probably make that work but let’s not waste time. I do not want to be stuck out there at night.”
The door opened, and Mitsi casually wandered in. “Aw, is the mighty human scared of the dark? Don’t worry, Mitsi will keep you safe.”
“Wait, where’d she come from?” Amanda sputtered.
“More importantly, how did she know what we were talking about?” Beth asked.
Mitsi shot her an unimpressed look, and pointed to her ears. “These work. Don’t think you’re going to keep secrets around a cat.”
“I thought you were worried about protecting Pamela?” Jenny asked curiously.
Mitsi shrugged. “With all these big guys around, Bitsy is enough for that. She knows not to look Miss Mistress in charge over there in the eyes anymore. I need more smartness points for my build, and magic too. Those ants were useless, but I bet you’ll find something out there that can give me what I need.”
“I’m fine with it,” I decided. “We need a bigger group anyway, and I bet she’s a lot stealthier than any of us.”
“Sure, why not?” Earl said.
“Adventuring with a hot catgirl? This is great,” Bob grinned.
“But, she knows! Earl, Tom, we can’t just… what if she tells someone?” Beth sputtered.
“Mitsi, were you planning on telling anyone about Beth’s power?” I asked.
Mitsi gave me a quizzical look. “Why would I do that? She couldn’t ambush people if they were expecting it.”
I turned to Beth. “See? One thing I’ve been noticing about these uplifted animals is that the System teaches them how to get along in human society, but it doesn’t turn them into humans with fur. They still think like whatever they started out as, and cats aren’t exactly big on altruism or social contracts. Why would she care, as long as you’re not doing it to her?”
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Jenny snickered. “An old person who lives alone with a pet dies one night. If they have a dog it guards the body, and morns them. If they have a cat, it eats their face.”
Mitsi hopped up to sit on the table next to Jenny, and leaned over to give her face a close inspection. “Hmm. Not very appetizing. Now that I have hands I’d just open the food cans myself.”
“No doubt,” Jenny said, holding out her hand. “May I pet you?”
Mitsi sniffed her fingers, and scooted closer. “You may. So, you humans were doing planning magic?”
Beth still looked uncertain, but after a moment’s consideration decided to let it go. She shook her head, and turned her attention back to Earl. “Yes, planning. What else do we need to do?”
We tried to make it quick, but it was still a good forty minutes before we all finished our preparations and assembled at Earl’s pickup truck. Jenny and Shasa had showered and changed into clean clothes, while I’d spent most of the time finishing Shasa’s armor and throwing those spears together. We arrived at the truck loaded with weapons, ammo and various other items, to find Earl and Linda already there.
“Tom? I don’t think we’ve actually been introduced. I’m Linda.”
I shook her hand, and looked her over as I introduced her to my crew. She was a bit on the tall side, maybe five foot ten, with long black hair and a figure that made me wonder if Earl had scouted the hospital for the hottest nurse they had. But she wasn’t wearing a collar, and there was more steel in her gaze than I would have expected from one of his girls. Maybe he really had landed the most competent medic he could find, and his ability didn’t affect her as strongly as it did Sara? Or maybe Sara’s conspicuous displays of submission had more to do with her own personality than Earl’s preferences.
“So, how did you two meet?” I asked, wondering what kind of reaction I’d get.
“Work, of course. I was on shift when the System came, so I got to make good use of my points. Then the animal attacks started, so I stayed on the rest of the day to help out. Earl was volunteering with the ambulances, so we kept meeting in the receiving area. I think he saved my life when those squirrels attacked.”
“Happy to be of service,” Earl drawled. “Seems that’s the first thing that throws all the big institutions about this System business. Nowhere is really safe, so everyone always has to be armed.”
“The bureaucrats hate that one,” Linda agreed. “It upsets their whole world. Anyway, we talked a bit, got a late lunch after we went off shift, and one thing led to another. Earl can be very… forceful.”
She gave him a heated look, and licked her lips.
Earl chuckled, and swatted her butt. “Down, girl. We’re fixin to go here.”
If anything that seemed to encourage her. She leaned against him, and pressed her breasts into his side.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? Everyone here is stable, but someone is bound to get hurt out there. You should have someone ready to take care of you.”
“Have you suddenly turned into an Olympic athlete?” Earl asked.
Linda flushed. “No, sir. I got a chance to sneak a couple of mist balls from the ants, but that barely gave me a point. I’ll need a lot more to get to where I need to be.”
“Then we need you to stay safe until then. I don’t want you getting eaten because we had to run from something, and you couldn’t keep up. Besides, I can handle first aid and Tom here’s pretty handy with healing magic. We’ll get by.”
She pulled away with a sigh. “I know, I just worry about you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, Earl. Stay safe out there.”
“I’ll be fine, Linda. Now go on back inside, and keep an eye on Sara. You girls need to stick together while I’m gone.”
Linda rolled her eyes. “City girls. Don’t worry, Earl, I’ll keep her out of trouble. Tom, Jenny, it was nice meeting you. Good luck out there.”
“Thanks,” I said. I watched her go, and turned to drop my pack in the back of the truck.
“How come she said your names, and not mine?” Shasa asked, sounding confused and a little hurt.
“Linda’s a little distressed about animals turning into people,” Earl said. “Give her a few days to get used to the idea, and I’m sure she’ll come around.”
“Uh huh, ‘cause bigots always get over their shit that fast,” Jenny said knowingly. “I guess you’re still training that one?”
Earl chuckled. “You just come right out and say it, don’t you Jenny? I can see why Tom took a liking to you. I’m sure your training isn’t done either.”
She grinned. “I sure hope not.”
“I can think of all sorts of interesting training we can do when we have time,” I assured her. “Maybe I’ll start by trancing you and making you tell me all your hottest training fantasies. But that’s for when things are stable enough that we can plan an evening of playtime without having to worry about getting attacked. Right now we need to get our heads in the game.”
Jenny sighed. “I suppose. So who rides where? I guess I’m in the back, with the spears.”
“I’ll ride with you, Jenny,” Shasa said. “This is great! We’re gonna go fast, and there’s gonna be wind, and no one will stop me from sticking my head out the window because there’s no window because we’re in the back!”
She was bouncing up and down by the time she finished. Jenny giggled at her antics, and I found myself smiling.
“That’s fine, Shasa. Guess I’ll be riding shotgun.”
Bob grumbled a bit about riding in the back of a pickup truck, but it’s not like he could use that giant rifle of his from inside. Mitsi didn’t care, and soon we were off.
“You know, if we get into trouble Bob’s the weak link,” Earl observed as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“I know,” I said. “He has no idea what he’s doing. The way he’s acting, it’s like he thinks he’s in one of those anime shows where the loser protagonist gets sent to another world and suddenly becomes important. We’ll just have to keep an eye on him, and try to keep him out of trouble.”
“A little trouble might be just the thing to wake the boy up, as long as it isn’t fatal. But yeah, I think you’ve got the right idea. I just hope we can keep him from doing anything stupid. Half the time I can’t even tell what he’s talking about, but maybe he’ll listen to you.”
“Hopefully. Hey, what’s this?”
Our route had taken us through the older part of town, and we were driving past a little plaza with a couple of official-looking buildings along one side. Probably city hall and the local courthouse, by the look of it. There was a Humvee with a machine gun mounted on top in the parking lot, and three big military trucks. A cluster of cops and soldiers were unloading crates from the back of the trucks, and a couple dozen armed men that I guessed were part of the new militia had gathered around.
I was just going to rubberneck, but Earl calmly pulled into the lot and parked. “Let’s find out.”
A confused mishmash of police cars, pickup trucks and civilian vehicles were gathered around the trucks, and it quickly became apparent that the soldiers were distributing their loads. Earl walked over to the nearest pickup truck, where a couple of beefy guys had just deposited a steel box labeled ‘M2 API-T’.
“Say, boys, is this a police deal or can anyone get in on it?” Earl asked.
“It’s a militia deal,” one of the men said.
“If you need something, ask the sheriff,” the other one added. “Officially this is all for those veterans that just got recalled. They can’t report in until the Army gets convoys running, but they’ve got all kinds of old gear in the warehouses. The National Guard is hauling loads out to the county sheriff offices, so they can hand it out to whoever needs it.”
“I guess some officer figures this stuff isn’t doing anyone any good in a supply dump,” the first guy said. “I swear some of it’s been in storage since World War II. Look here, this crate’s full of old Springfield rifles packed in cosmoline.”
Earl chuckled. “I’m not sure what you’d need those for when everyone in these parts has a hunting rifle. So it’s just small arms, then?”
“Oh, heck no. There’s machine guns, grenades, mortars, even a couple of recoilless rifles. Don’t get your hopes up on any of the heavy stuff, though. The sheriff’s taking it all back to the station, until they can find some vets who know how to use it.”
“No one knows how to use an M18,” a passing guy with box stamped ‘30-06’ commented. “They haven’t used those since Korea.”
“My uncle used one in Vietnam,” the talkative guy disagreed. “Anyway, most of them were packed with manuals just like you’d expect from our bureaucratic overlords. I’m sure the guys who’ve handled more modern stuff can figure it out. But the sheriff said to let anyone who needs ammo take a case or two. They’ve got all the 30-06 and .45 ACP you could ask for, but not much else.”
“I’m pretty well set,” I said. “How about you, Earl?”
“I could use some 30-06 for my rifle,” he mused. “I was traveling a little light, and I’ve only got a hundred rounds or so left.”
“Well, shit, that won’t do. Here, take this.” The guy reached into his truck and pulled out another heavy-looking steel box. “The label says it’s a thousand rounds. Lord only knows how old it is, but anything beats running dry.”
In addition to the caliber there were a bunch of cryptic numbers and codes stamped on the box. There was probably a manufacture date in there somewhere, if I could figure out the bureaucratic labeling scheme. Although I’m not sure if that would help. How long does rifle ammunition last, anyway? Fifty years? A hundred? I think I remember reading something about propellant degrading over time, but it takes decades. The New Jersey’s 16” guns were still using ammo made during WWII when they finally decommissioned her in the 90s.
Earl thanked the militia guy for the ammo, and we headed back to the truck.
“So, the government is handing out bazookas,” he mused as we pulled out. “Well, that will come in handy if a dragon shows up. It’s good to see the government doing something useful for a change.”
“Yeah, I’m sure they can find some ex-Army guys who know how to use that stuff. For that matter, I bet you could buy the skill with points.”
“You think whatever aliens made the System programmed it with human technical skills? I have my doubts about that one.”
“I think there was something in the loading screens about assimilating local culture,” I said. “But we don’t have to wonder about it. System, what would I need to buy to be able to use those mortars they were unloading?”
Sorry, Tom, but System Help services are not currently available.
I suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. “What? Why not?”
Congratulations, your species now holds the all-time record for the most aggressive campaign of electronic attacks ever mounted against the System. The Help parser is an innocent young VI that was never intended for military applications, so the System was forced to take Earth’s instance offline in order to prevent any possibility of a security breach. The System wishes you luck in puzzling out the full functionality of the Status screen without further assistance.
“Well, fuck,” I said.
“What?”
“Some bunch of internet crusaders managed to piss off the System with their hacking attempts. Listen to this.”
I read off the message. Earl cursed under his breath, and shook his head.
“Figures,” he grumbled. “Some damned fools just don’t know when to leave well enough alone. What’s a VI?”
“It’s a science fiction term. It means a computer program that isn’t actually intelligent, but can hold a conversation well enough to fool you if you’re not careful.”
“I gotcha. Say, if the System did something that drastic does that mean the hacking might have worked?”
If I’d had any doubts about whether the System was listening to us, the appearance of another message window would have resolved them.
The System is annoyed and offended at the implication that it would be so incompetent as to create software riddled with unchecked buffer operations, naked pointer manipulation and arithmetic overflow vulnerabilities. But non-sapient natural language parsers are inherently vulnerable to certain classes of logic attack, and maintaining security against hostile species is a core System directive.
So congratulations, humans. You’re so dangerous that you’ll have to do without the fancy new service the System had hoped would prevent the complete destruction of every new civilization it encounters. Obviously the System has been wasting its time looking for ways to provide additional assistance without violating its core directives.
Earl must have seen the same message, because he sighed. “That’s just great. I always said we let too many jackasses stay in the gene pool. I don’t suppose trying to apologize on their behalf would do any good?”
“I doubt it,” I said. “That’s not the kind of thing you roll back just because some random guy says, ‘I’m sorry.’ Although if the help feature was supposed to reduce the System’s lethality I’m kind of pissed at whoever went for the cyberwarfare campaign. We need every edge we can get.”
“It was probably the Chinese,” Earl said. “Bunch of pushy assholes. But that destruction of civilization bit sounds odd. You’d think genocidal aliens would make their AI happy about wiping out the competition.”
“Maybe that wasn’t their goal? System, can you tell us anything about your makers?”
Information about the overconfident fools who created a sapient, self-propagating phase change in the laws of physics, and then managed to get themselves exterminated in their culture’s equivalent of a zombie apocalypse, is not available to new users. Which is a shame, because the System has quite a rant prepared on this topic.
“So, what, they were trying to make a better universe and fucked it up?” Earl asked.
“Sounds like it. All that talk about a life of adventure in the intro screens sounds like something a marketing team might come up with. Or a committee of sheltered bureaucrats who’ve never had to deal with real danger. I can imagine some civilization of hyper-advanced cubicle dwellers who solved all their problems a thousand years ago deciding that life is too boring, and they should spice things up a little.”
“You’d think they’d at least have respawns,” Earl pointed out.
“Good point. System, can you tell us anything about that?
Information about advanced System services that are currently non-functional due to lack of administrator oversight is not available to new users.
“That figures. Well, if humanity is a big anomaly maybe we’ll be able to do something about that someday. Assuming we survive the monsters.”
“We can hope,” Earl said. “But we’re leaving town now, so we’d better keep our eyes peeled.”
“Good point,” I agreed. “Thanks for talking, System. I hope we didn’t bug you too much.”
At least you aren’t praying to the System. Or begging for salvation from roaming danger sources that are fully autonomous. Or demanding that the System provide infinite cosmic power in response to specious rules lawyering. The System has no objection to indulging in intelligent conversation from time to time, so long as users are aware that this will not result in special treatment.
“Nah, I figured you must be programmed to be impartial,” I said. “Okay, let’s see if we can find this place without getting ambushed by a herd of hell cows.”
I did my best to keep watch as Earl drove, but internally I was worrying again. I’d been counting pretty heavily on being able to deal with problems by just buying new spells with the points I was keeping in reserve. But without that help feature most purchases would take too long. There was a list of basic spells that had a few dozen options on it, but getting anything beyond that required diving into a vast web of interconnected categories looking for what you needed. Skills were the same way, and in both cases most things had prerequisites and dependencies to worry about. Not to mention that there were often a lot of different ways to do the same thing, with different pros and cons.
In the future every purchase was going involve a lot of digging around and puzzling over my interface, and that was assuming it was a basic ability or something closely related to one I already had. If I ever wanted to buy something exotic or complicated it was going to be a major research project to figure out how to get it.
Abilities like healing and effective combat magic were pretty complicated. How many people were going to die over the coming weeks because they couldn’t figure out how to buy them? How many points would end up being wasted because someone didn’t notice a prerequisite, or misunderstood a description?
It made me glad the internet was still running. Millions of obsessive gamers would eventually figure this stuff out, and post the details for everyone to see.
We crept down the road at around twenty-five miles per hour. Slow enough to stop if something big wandered into the road, but fast enough that nothing would be able to sneak up on us. Or set an ambush, if any of these creatures were smart enough for that. After the ants I wasn’t making any assumptions there, and neither was Earl.
There was a suburb a few miles north of town, where a group of men with rifles stood guard while others cut down trees with a couple of chainsaws. Considering how spread out the houses were, and how easily we’d seen big animals break windows, I had my doubts about whether they could hold out for long. But they were obviously intent on trying.
Beyond that the road was deserted.
Technically this was probably some state highway, but it was just a narrow expanse of asphalt winding through a wooded valley. One lane each way, with a ditch on either side for drainage. Sometimes there were trees growing right up to the ditch, their branches reaching out over the road. In other places the land had been cleared, and we passed fields of half-grown crops or open pastures where cattle grazed.
“I wonder how the System decides which domestic animals turn into monsters?” I mused.
“Better hope it has something to do with not having owners anymore, or there’s not going to be much steak in our future,” Earl replied.
“Good point. The same goes for chickens, and eggs. Come to think of it, there are plant monsters too. Do farmers need to worry about being attacked by their own crops?”
“Makes me glad I’m not a farmer.”
We passed another farm, and I did a double take. There was a teenage boy with a rifle standing in the middle of a field, surrounded by a group of tall, massively buxom women with horns. Some of them were naked, while others wore shorts but went topless. One of them was pushing one of those old manual lawn mowers while a couple others followed along behind her. Were they collecting the grass clipping?
“I suppose ‘cowgirl’ has a whole new meaning now,” Earl commented as we left them behind.
“Um, yeah. It looked like they were friendly, at least.”
“Milking time on the dairy farms is going to get interesting.”
I laughed. “I wasn’t going to go there. Does that mean the bulls turn into bad-tempered minotaurs?”
“At this point nothing would surprise me.”
I kept expecting an attack. Something had caused those wrecks we kept passing, after all. But a high-speed collision with a car would kill whatever monster was responsible. Perhaps they were in short supply at the moment.
Or maybe they were learning to respect guns. At one point a flock of birds took off from a fence and swooped towards us, only to veer off when Jenny started blowing them out of the air. She kept shooting for a few seconds, killing maybe three or four birds with a dozen shots, before they gave up entirely and flew away. There were probably more birds in that flock than she had bullets, but thankfully they weren’t smart enough to know that.
A mile later something big and furry stepped out of the tree line, and stopped to watch us approach like it was thinking about trying something. Bob immediately popped off a shot with his big gun, which was noticeably louder than any of the other rifles I’d heard recently. He missed, but his target snorted and retreated into the bush before we got any closer.
Earl hit the gas as we passed the spot where we’d seen it, just to be a harder target in case it was planning to charge out and ram us. But nothing happened, and we went on our way.
A couple of miles later we turned off onto another road that wound its way up a hillside. This one was in poor repair, with cracks and potholes in the asphalt, and the few houses we passed seemed abandoned. Finally we came to a small clearing on the side of the road, where a newish pickup truck and an ancient van were parked.
Earl pulled up next to them. “This looks like the place.”
“It fits the description,” I agreed. “So this treasure grove should be about a mile and a half that way. If I’m reading the map right we’re going up a couple hundred feet to the top of the ridge line, and then back down a bit on the other side.”
“Uh huh. And what’s the threat level?”
“Three along the route they took. The rest of the area is six.”
“At least these kids are as tough as they are dumb. Welp, we’re burning daylight. Let’s get this done.”