Falling.

One second I was floating in that weightless void of white and the next I was hurtling down like I’d been dropped out of a plane.

The wind ripped past me causing my skin to pull back. If anyone saw me they’d probably be laughing instead of panicking.

Then, before I could even scream…

…WHUMP.

I hit the ground with all the force of Wile E. Coyote, sinking a few inches into the ground.

There wasn’t any pain, so I figured I was fine.

I rolled out of my impromptu ground angel and found myself… is that dirt? And grass?

It was!

Grass!

Soft, pillowy, divine grass!

I pressed my cheek against it, drinking in the scent of real dirt, real air, real life.

No stale office air, no axe body spray, no hard vinyl flooring. No fluorescent lights buzzing over me while I processed claim rejections.

Just pure, glorious nature.

My inner child was sobbing.

Just as I was about to kiss the ground in grass-induced glee, I looked around.

Nothing but flat, endless plains in every direction.

“…Wait. Am I still in Kansas?!?”

That two-bit HR Goddess must’ve filed the wrong paperwork! Just like the corporate drones who ‘accidentally’ misplaced urgent claims when they didn’t want to pay out.

What a loser.

Okay it’s fine.

It’s all fine.

There’s no problem.

No job.

No meetings that could’ve been an email.

No HR reps.

No food…

…No water…

…No clue where I am…

…Okay. Slight problem.

Still, how often do you get to escape the concrete jungle and be surrounded by nothing but nature?

It’s a weird feeling, being so insignificant. Like a little island surrounded by nothing but endless ocean.

I felt powerless.

Welp. Might as well start walking.

Hmm…

But where to?

I wish that scam goddess had at least given me a map of some kind. Even a compass would’ve been helpful.

Shading my eyes I looked up at the sky, trying to get a bead on where the sun was.

Looked like it was nearing its peak, so right around noon then?

Dammit.

That didn’t help me any.

I threw my hands in the air. “STUPID GODDESS!!!!”

Silence.

Not even a divine apology email.

Typical.

I kicked a rock and stomped off in a random direction.

“Go save the world, she says.”

Kick.

“It’ll be fun, she says.”

Kick.

“Unpaid overtime but I promise, I’ll give you anything you want.”

KICK.

The rock hit my toe.

Betrayal…

I picked it up and threw it with the fury of a man wronged by the universe.

What a shitty situation to find myself in.

First I get hit by a truck and die, apparently, then I wake up in the middle of nowhere.

I crouched down, ran my hands through the soft blades of grass, and inhaled deep.

Ahhh. Nature. Fresh, damp, beautiful nature. The whisper of wind over an untouched world. A symphony of pure tranquility.

I just wanted to curl up into a ball and stay here forever.

…And then my stomach rumbled.

Oh… right.

I needed food. And water. And a plan.

Fuck.

A half-buried fact from a 2AM Wikipedia rabbit hole surfaced in my brain.

Three hours without shelter. Three days without water. Three weeks without food.

Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!

Or, if we’re following corporate policy, three months of waiting for ‘approved coverage,’ three years of arguing with customer service, and three decades before you see a single cent reimbursed.

Whatever.

I’d already died once so I wasn’t about to test the theory.

Assuming what I’d read wasn’t some scam posted by a neckbeard intent on tricking innocent people, the first thing I needed to find was shelter of some kind.

I looked around, cupping my hands in front of my eyes like binoculars.

Nope.

Still just endless plains.

I sighed.

“Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy.”

I looked back up at the sun, shading my eyes to get a better view.

It had barely moved.

Wait…

…What?

I did a double take

Hadn’t I been walking for a couple hours already?

Was this sun part of a union? Was I getting scammed by interdimensional labour laws now?

Maybe I really wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

Oh, come on.

Okay.

Time to adjust to that I guess.

That did mean I had more time to work with though so maybe the rule of three hours without shelter wasn’t exactly the same here.

I mean that two-bit goddess did say it was another world, despite it still looking like earth.

Well anyways.

At the very least I knew I had some time before night to figure something out. Maybe I’ll find a cave or a natural outcropping or something.

So, instead of stressing myself out over where I was going to spend the night I just continued walking.

It was peaceful, like going for a stroll in a nature park.

Except I didn’t have any beef jerky.

I started drooling.

Nothing beats nice, high quality beef jerky.

Salty, savoury, spicy.

Just mwah.

That’s where my thoughts were as I continued walking through the knee-high grass.

Eventually I looked back and realized I couldn’t see where I’d first landed. Guess I was making progress.

Good to know.

Alrighty then, back to walking.

If this really is a fantasy world like the goddess said then there should be magic right?

I raised a hand, palm face-up and, with the straightest of faces, said the magic word.

“Abracadabra!”

Nothing.

“Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!”

I thought I felt something for a second…

Nope.

Must’ve been the wind.

I groaned and put my hand down.

I felt like an idiot.

Was this really how I was going to spend the rest of my life? The only no magic loser in a world where everyone has it?

Then a thought occurred to me.

Maybe if magic words don’t work…

…Is it all about intent?

I furrowed my brow, focused, and reached deep within myself.

Into my soul.

My very essence.

“Do magic… Please?”

…Still nothing.

This world sucks.

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

Maybe that’s now how magic works.

Maybe it’s not something you’re born with. Maybe you have to learn it.

That gave me a spark of hope. Maybe I wasn’t destined to be stuck as a no magic loser.

Maybe it’s still possible!

After all nobody wants to be a squib, right?

No response…

Oh wait.

Are those crickets I hear?

Hold on a second… Crickets?!?

I look up at the sun again.

Still high in the sky.

Still annoying me.

Felt like I was back at my desk, with management standing over my shoulder.

Weren’t crickets supposed to be nocturnal? What sort of back-asswards world did I end up in?

I shook my head. I really wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

But anyways, I needed to continue walking with the hope of finding some civilization.

My legs were starting to ache, and my breath was turning ragged.

Was I really that out of shape? Damn.

I continued walking in the same direction as before.

Changing it up now felt like it’d be a waste of time, and I probably had better chances of finding something, by sticking to my path.

Right?

I was starting to feel thirsty too.

Which sucked.

Have you ever been thirsty with no water in sight? Believe you me, it’s not fun. All you can think about is water. Cool, fresh, refreshing water.

Maybe garnished with some cucumber or a lemon slice.

Dammit.

Now I was even thirstier.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had water. It felt like forever ago.

My last overtime shift had been so long and required so much focus that the only breaks we got were bathroom breaks.

Nothing to be done for it now though I suppose.

At least I’ve finally escaped that hellhole.

Oh wait, are those trees in the distance?

I saw the very tops of the trees, a dark green overshadowing the monotonous beige of the grassy field.

Maybe there’s something there.

I picked up the pace, starting to jog.

More time passed and the trees still felt as far away as ever.

These plains really do go on forever.

My legs were burning by now and my breath coming in rapid wheezes.

I needed to hit the gym.

Even more time passed, and I slowed my pace from a jog to a brisk walk.

The trees weren’t getting any closer.

Either I was further away from them than I thought, or they were much, much bigger than I had originally guessed.

It’s no matter. I don’t really have anything else going on at the moment, so I figured why the hell not just keep going.

When I checked the sun again I noticed it was starting to set.

Panic quickly followed.

I mean I’d been moving for what felt like hours, but I still hadn’t seen anything resembling shelter.

Crap.

Time to think of something then.

The gears in my brain started turning and I looked around to figure out what I could do to have even some shelter for the night.

Weave a bed of grass?

Nope.

Too much work.

Make a dirt hut?

What is this a 2010s video game?

Eventually I settled on clearing out a small circle in the grass. It would do for now anyways.

The grass came out easily. A simple tug is all it took. Must be a weak root system or something.

I made quick progress, leaving all the bundles of what was basically straw piled up in the middle of my little circle.

Nights were warm on prairies weren’t they?

I figured I probably wouldn’t freeze to death.

Probably.

As the sun sank even further beyond the horizon I ended up with a nice pile of straw. I worked quickly trying to pat it all down into a decent enough base to lay down on. Even stuffing my shirt with some of it for a makeshift pillow.

I thought I was pretty smart to come up with this. A genius if I say so myself.

So yeah.

I ended up with a makeshift mattress, a makeshift pillow, and piles of grassy straw to use as a blanket.

It wouldn’t be the most comfortable, but I’d rather sleep on this than the hard floors of my office. At least out here I don’t have to explain to someone why their ‘emergency procedure’ wasn’t actually covered.

Scratch that.

Old office.

I had to remind myself that I wasn’t living that life anymore.

I wasn’t even on earth anymore.

The thought sat strangely in my mind. I mean I’d died and gone to purgatory or whatever. Met the goddess.

It’s only reasonable to feel confused about the whole thing.

Now here I was, sleeping on a makeshift bed made out of grass and straw.

What a strange, wonderful, absurd turn of events.

I wasn’t going to pray to HR for a safe night.

If she really cared she’d have sent me to a place where I wasn’t in too much danger.

Right?

The sun sank below the horizon, and I marvelled at the pretty orange and red sunset.

It was even more beautiful than earth’s.

It made me wonder if this is what freedom was truly like.

As the sun went away I covered myself with the pile I was using as a blanket and closed my eyes.

This new world became eerily quiet.

Nothing moved at all.

Maybe this is just how the world is.

Tomorrow was gonna suck.