The only thing missing is pizza, otherwise this would feel exactly like studying for quals or preparing my dissertation defense.

Damian is sitting on the floor in the middle of the office surrounded by papers mapping out patterns in human world history. I'm rapidly abusing the internet trying to gain a full picture of current events. We are looking for what Damian calls 'the thread' or a singular event or manipulation that could unify the humans on earth.

It is not going well.

I look up at the ceiling and start counting tiles. It's an old habit from working in call centers to get through college. This is a much nicer ceiling than the stained dropped ceiling tiles that I'm used to. It's made of wood… coffered?

I've just finished reading all of 4-chan, 8-chan, and reddit. I'll take a break, count the ceiling tile, and then get started reading all of the mainstream news articles from the past year and their comments. Damian is still optimistic we can come up with a plan—a thread to pull. With every comment I read I am inching closer and closer to the 'fuck it, let it all burn' camp. Elders Isis and Remus would be disappointed in me. But I guess Ra would approve? So, win-win?

I'm half way through a conservative news site, when Damian throws himself back on the ground, sending up a flurry of papers, and sighs. His legs are still crossed and his arms are stretched over his head. "The only thing that draws people together is a larger threat."

I hum, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend…"

"Yeah," he agrees, "But humanity is definitely not anywhere close to successfully defeating such a technologically advanced foe."

We both contemplate this in silence for a minute. Damian closes his eyes, presumably running through different scenarios in his mind. I glance at the clock. 2:34. Vulcan will be back before the library opens. Maybe at 7? That is a reasonable time to come into work. We don't have much time.

I glance back at Damian, and think. Common enemies can't be the only thing that brings humans together. If common enemies were the only thing to bring people together, then we wouldn't have the entirety of middle earth built in minecraft. Minecraft! I open a new tab and search all the large projects happening in Minecraft.

Middle Earth.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Cities of every stripe.

Digital libraries filled with banned books from around the world.

Digital churches so people who can't physically go to church can worship in community.

"What if…what if common enemies isn't the only thing that brings people together."

Damian turns to look at me, his eyes are unfocused, still running simulations, but he clearly wants to hear what I have to say. "There is very little evidence to support another thread," his tone is flat. He is barely here.

"Humans work together for big opportunity," the idea is slowly forming as I talk. Even I don't know where I'm going with this, "they also work together to help people and animals in need."

Damian raises an eyebrow at me, as though I'm the dumbest, least coordinated puppy to stumble through the world. "Not enough. They are just as likely to walk past someone bleeding out on the floor as they are to help each other."

"What if the opportunity to help was also a large opportunity?"

Damian sits up, his eyes are clear now, and they are boring a hole straight to my soul. I forgot how terrifying having his entire attention was. "What are you suggesting?"

"Our goal is to turn them finding out about us into a peaceful encounter, right?" He nods, encouraging me to continue. "We think the best way to do this is to initiate an 'alien' first contact situation. We think that is likely to be less scary and increase the chance for peace treaties than if they find out all the beings from their nightmares and horror novels are real."

Damian nods, "peaceful first contact with a technologically advanced species will deter retaliation."

"Right, but we cant contact our space faring brethren because they will just destroy humanity from orbit."

"That is the problem in question…"

"But the humans can. What if we trick the humans into making first contact?"

"How?"

"If we can fake a distress call, the humans may rush to contact them back and help."

He crosses his arms across his chest and nods. "Okay, jut a few problems with that: we don't have the technology to fake a signal like that, we would need to send the right message to enough people around the world that one country cant hide the signal from the others, and the humans don't have the tech to respond or reach the source of the distress signal." for each problem he raises a finger, it feels like he is counting out our doom.

I put my head in my hands discouraged, "I'm sorry, I thought I had something." I glance back at the clock, "It's 6:45, we are out of time." There are footsteps coming toward the library with purpose. "It was nice knowing you. Do you think Vulcan is going to kill us, or will he call Remus and have him do it?"

Damian looks at the door, his body is more relaxed than it has been all night. He looks defeated. "He'll call Remus. The elders aren't known for their mercy."

The door unlocks. The knob turns. Vulcan walks in, and surveys the chaos of his once perfect office. "I see you have nothing." He reaches into his pocket and holds up a cell phone before locking eyes with Damian, "Should I call Isis, or Remus?"