I knew Elder Remus had a reputation of being the best tracker and assassin in the species. He specializes in finding anyone, and is pretty universally feared for his abilities. To me, he was always the mentor in a soft, hand knit sweater. Easy to talk to and totally nonthreatening.

He is still in the soft sweater, but for the first time I understand why people are scared of him. If looks could kill, this whole place could be cinders. It's a good thing I don't need to breath, because if I did I would be in full hyperventilating panic.

"But…What disobedience? Vulcan said we were given permission..."

He melts, almost seamlessly into the soft mentor I always knew. The act is almost good enough to make me question if I ever saw his other side.

"Damian and Vulcan were told to back off. Clearly, they did not tell you. Tell me everything, now." He still looks like my mentor, but there is a hard glint to his eyes that demands a detailed and honest answer.

I shrink back into my seat, and start talking. Elder Remus just listens, making the occasional encouraging sound or gesture. I talk for hours, going into detail about each plan, each pitfall, and where I think we are in each plan. There is a lot I don't know, but I'm smart enough to speculate and extrapolate. Though I have no idea what Damian is up to while I get the key.

At some point, he steals my coffee. I've always been jealous of the way the older vampires could eat and drink regular food. They say it tastes more or less the same, but has the effects of alcohol or caffeine, depending on the food. Most elders don't eat real food, but Remus does. He needs to blend in his capacity as an assassin and tracker. It will be centuries before my system can digest food again. Heista said that by the time she could digest food again, all her favorites had disappeared. I may never get to taste my favorite drink again—a drink that Elder Remus is clearly enjoying.

After I finish speaking, he sits in silence for a long time. Drinking and contemplating. "After you get the key, you are to head back to New Eden. You are under house arrest for the next century at least."

"What? No! This is my idea and I'm going to see it through."

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He puts the cup down gently, casually, like he is a professor discussing a no-stakes hypothetical with an underclassmen. "You have to understand," his voice is gentle, like a doctor breaking bad news, "to me, to most of the coven, you are the equivalent of a three year old. Your skills are barely developed. You can run, but not fast. Your digestive system doesn't function. You have no skills to control hunger. If you don't eat, you will lose control and eat everyone in a 20 foot radius. You don't have centuries of experience in anything. You are a baby, and you belong at home with those who can teach and train you until you are old enough to be on your own."

I want to respond, I want to reject what he says. I want to prove that I'm not a toddler. But… he has a point. To him, to the other elders, hell even to damian, I must look like a toddler. They correct my speech all the time. They get me food before I even know I'm hungry. They smile at me the same way I would smile at a three year old telling a story or trying a new task. In the coven, I am only ever alone during times I should be resting. They treat me like a child, because to them I am a child.

But I don't feel like a child. I feel like an adult in her fifties. A very healthy and strong adult, but an adult. I have a PhD. I can manage my hunger! I can take care of myself.

I look Remus right in the eye. "You are scared to lose me. Scared that I will fall victim to some human, because turned vampires are rare. Really rare. There have only been four of us in the past century. And born children are even rarer. Our populations don't grow, they slowly shrink. To you, I must look like infinite potential." I am so glad I don't have tear ducts that work yet. I'm on a razors edge. "But in this world, I'm not a child. I was a full adult when I left it. This is why I left it. I feel this is my purpose. To shepherd this through to the end. I will not leave when we have only just begun. If I do, I don't think we will be successful. I think our entire race could fall if I don't push forward. And how is sending me back to the coven going to save me if we are all dead?"

That hard look is back in his eyes. Then it is gone as fast as it appeared and he sighs and looks away. "You are young and stubborn. There is nothing I could say to dissuade you from this course of action, is there?"

"No."

"Then I guess I'll just have to tag along, like a parent watching their child try to climb for the first time. You won't see me, but I will always be a step behind you until this is done."

"You won't try to stop us?"

"I don't agree with Damian. I think this venture is too dangerous. But in my experience, betting against him is a bad idea. He only ever acts when it is absolutely necessary. I trust his assessment, even if I don't agree with his methods." He checks his watch, "Ten til five, little one. Go meet your sister, and get us a key. Enjoy your time with her. It may be the last time you see her."