As the wagon made its way down the bumpy country road, the afternoon sun moving ever closer to the horizon, we moved further away from the broken heart of my homeland, nothing more than a city of corpses and ruin now.

Good riddance.

I pulled my legs up from where they were dangling off the back of the wagon, hugging them to my chest, and glared off into the distance.

No, no more tears. You promised you were done with the crying. I wiped my face on my sleeve, not succeeding in stifling the sniffle I made when my arm brushed my nose. As I readjusted my spectacles, I leaned my chin back onto my knees. What’s done is done, you did what you had to, and there’s no point in obsessing about it.

Someone sat down next to me, his armored legs clanking as he tried not to accidentally misjudge his weight and tumble off the back of the wagon. He’d never do that. He’s too graceful for that. Even with all his armor, he’s still so sure of himself. Alverd looked at me with his ice blue eyes and his gentle smile and I could already feel myself wanting to stop ruminating about the recent events that had me down.

Merciful Eternity, I could stare at that face all day. Especially that smile. I wonder if I could just lock Alverd up in a room with me for hours and hours until I figure out just what it is that makes me feel so at ease when he does it. Then the impropriety of the thought caught up to me and my cheeks flushed. I turned away quickly.

Honestly, Sheena. Why are you even embarrassed? This man, and his friends, put their lives on the line to save you. It would only be natural to develop feelings for someone like that, right? What’s stopping me now? I never had any problem flirting with him before. My heart rate tripled, heart pounding so hard it felt like it was taking a hammer to the inside of my chest.

As I had my mental dilemma, Alverd gave a small sigh. “I think I know what you’re going through, milady.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin, stammering wildly. “Y-Y-You do? How? I mean, what do you mean? How do you mean? Umm… “ Arms flailing, I nearly fell off the wagon. Alverd had to reach forward and grab my wrist to steady me, and the moment his grip tightened on my arm I felt my face catch fire again.

When his hand moved away I felt a wave of regret wash over me that I hadn’t taken the opportunity to just fall into his arms. “It’s strange to say that I’ve been through it when in truth, I’ve been through it three times now. The fall of Marevar, the coup in Ishmar, and now this. I’m becoming a bit of an expert in running away from my problems.” He was still smiling, but it didn’t take a genius to see the strain behind it.

“Running away from a problem always presents a very specific conundrum. In my case, no matter how far away I run, whenever I look back I always see the things I can’t forget magnified until they drown out everything else that happened.” He gazed out in the same direction I had, his smile finally turning into a grimace. “I’m starting to forget things that I shouldn’t, and I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

I scooted closer to him. “Like what? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

He took a heavy breath, slow in, slow out. “I’m starting to forget what my mother’s shepherd’s pie tasted like. Which is only natural, given I haven’t tasted it in five years. But you’d think that I wouldn’t forget my favorite meal in the whole world cooked by the woman who loved and raised me. I would assume that it should be a treasured memory, but it’s fading more and more every year.”

“It’s getting harder for me to recall the memories I have of growing up in Marevar with Kuro and my friend Laura,” he continued. “I think it might be because when I think of Marevar now, all I can think of is how my people are being enslaved by the Ishmarians. It makes me angry, and then all I can do is fixate on the negative. I almost want to fixate on it. It takes all my focus to remember that if I do that to myself, I’ll never get past it all.”

His face darkened, the eyes growing distant and tinged with anger. “By contrast, I remember every detail of the berserker I killed. Her face. Scar running down her chin and neck. Spittle flying out of her mouth, the blood after my blade went through her heart. Eyes so wide and bloodshot. I… I don’t want to remember that.” He shook his head. “I do, though. I kicked her corpse off of me while she was still twitching and prayed for her to just lie still, even letting go of my sword. I can remember how relieved I was when she finally died, the sword still sticking out of her.”

He looked at me again. “It’ll take a long time, but I hope you can reach a point when you think of Algrustos and still remember all the happy memories you might have of it.”

I grumbled, breaking eye contact, “Maybe. You do make a lot of sense, though. I’d say you’re probably on the right track.”

Be bold. It’s just you and him. The only way you’re going to find happiness is to seize it when it’s within your grasp. I leaned my head on his shoulder, putting my weight into it, almost snuggling up to him. “You may not have been the knight in shining armor I was expecting, but you might just be the one I needed, Sir Alverd.”

Leaning in, I steeled myself. Just like in your fairy tales and storybooks. Just lean in and kiss him. How hard can that be? My eyes were starting to flutter closed when a brutish voice let out a cry of rage and the rapid footfalls of leather boots told me that I was in imminent trouble.

Alicia came charging back from the front of the wagon’s storage area, muscling her way past the crates within to get at me. She wedged herself between Alverd and I, parking herself squarely between us while forcing us to the edges of the wagon’s lip. “Alright, cart driver says we’ll make it to the border by nightfall. We’ll make camp at the border crossing and then it’s another week of travel to the nearest city in Kierhai. Where are we going from there?”

There was an edge in both her voice and her eyes as she shot me a look that said “I’m onto you”. I was a bit irritated, but it was my own fault for not seizing the initiative when I had the chance.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Once she was sure that there would be no further romantic overtures, she spoke again. “Didn’t you say that you had an acquaintance in Kierhai? That she might offer us shelter?”

Alverd nodded. “Yes. A mercenary like us. She was part of a local guild. She always talked about splitting off and forming her own guild though, one with more stringent requirements for joining. She said her current guild was too willing to let in people with lax moral standards. When we proved we were her kind of mercs, she let us stay with her for a while in her family’s home.”

Wait, the woman let you stay in her home? That is a red flag. And we’re going to meet with her and possibly be invited to stay at her home again? No no no. It would be the height of foolishness to let a woman with prior history try to seduce Alverd. I bit my thumbnail, chewing on it as my mind raced. Patience for now. I’ll have to assess this new threat when I meet her.

Kuro joined the conversation, standing behind us as there was no room left to sit. “Her name is Yuzuruha. She’s got five younger siblings to take care of, so she’s got plenty of space in that home of hers. We should make sure we aren’t intruding before we ask if we can stay.”

I seized upon Kuro’s words. “I agree! It would be a huge imposition to take valuable living space away from such a large family.”

He shrugged. “On the other hand we don’t exactly have a lot of money. If we can’t earn some before we arrive in Blossom City, we might have to beg her for help. Once we get there, we’ll find merc jobs easily enough. It’s the getting there part that concerns me.” He sighed heavily. “Heavy burdens and light pockets. Always seems to be our lot in life.”

Alicia leaned back so she could face Kuro. “What’s she like?”

Kuro snorted. “You’d probably like her, Alicia. She’s got the foulest mouth of any person I’ve ever met, but she’s also tougher than nails and down to earth. Can’t abide people stepping on the little guy or beating on people who can’t fight back. I’d say she wears her heart on her sleeve too much, but that’s how you know her heart’s in the right place.”

Alverd laughed. “That’s one way to put it. She has a lot of respect for people who are honest, so as long as we explain to her why we need her help, she’ll find a way to do so. Our first hurdle is getting through the border checkpoint, then making it to Blossom City. We’ll have to pass through Standing Stone to get to Blossom City if my memory serves.”

Somewhere in my mind, my old lessons on geography clicked into place. “Standing Stone is the closest city to the Algrustian border, correct? It’s supposed to be built more like a fortress than a city.”

Kuro nodded. “That’s correct. The stone in question is a meteor fragment left over from the War of the Five Kings. The Kierhaians hollowed it out and made it a military base while building a city around it.”

To think that people without magic could accomplish such things. It almost makes me wish I had done a diplomatic visit to Kierhai. Perhaps if I had, relations between our countries might have been better. As of now, I imagine we could’ve been allies instead of neighbors with good fences.

“I wonder if news about Ethenia has reached Kierhai yet. If it has, we might have issues at the border,” Kuro continued. “If the Magisters are still alive, they could’ve shut down the border on all sides of Algrustos in anticipation of us crossing.” He gave me a tense look. “I know you won’t have any problem fighting if it comes to it. What I want to know is, are you ready to leave your home possibly for good?”

It was a heavy question, one I’d grappled with for the entirety of our journey so far. I was no closer to convincing myself that it was the best option than I had when we’d first camped out near the ruins of Ethenia. There is nothing for you left. Everything is ash, and the uncle who loved you was a liar. It should be easy to answer his question. Something about it feels wrong though. I can’t put my finger on it but I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something. I know in my head that I want to leave. Is it really what my heart wants though?

A tenday of travel had given me enough time to let my anger burn out to the point where I could think more rationally about everything. The way Albrecht had hurt me felt too on-the-nose, as if he were playing the villain in a children’s story, where subtlety would have flown over the heads of its intended audience. He had come on too strong, played his role straight to the hilt, and said exactly what he needed to say to cut me deep.

Almost as if that were his intention all along.

I closed my eyes, willing those thoughts away. You don’t know enough about his intentions to start second-guessing yourself now. Even if you did, what’s done is done. You ended him with your own two hands. I squeezed my fingers into fists, clenching and unclenching them slowly as I remembered the look on his face as the blades on my staff had dug into his chest. He had looked surprised, no trace that it had been part of a plan. Whatever his true goal, he’d taken such knowledge to the grave.

The discussion amongst the others fell away as I tuned out the noise of everything around me. My emotions were all over the place, and I tried to rein them in to no avail. It’s far too late to turn back. Why must I go over this yet again? Why must it eat at me with every waking moment? I knew in my mind that it was pointless to do so, but my heart kept pulling me back down the rabbit hole.

Finally, my inner turmoil was interrupted when a metal-clad hand clasped my shoulder. “Are you alright? You seem lost in thought.” Alverd had reached over to check on me.

I stammered, then got a hold of myself. “Yes. I’m just having a lot of issues right now. I think after we cross the border things will get better. The more distance we put between us and Ethenia, the better.”

Alicia blinked, then her expression softened. “Hey. If you want to talk about it, we’re here. Nobody is saying what you went through was easy. All that crap with Albrecht and the Magisters was really miserable. If you need time, that’s okay too.” She was being very supportive, and it made me initially suspicious.

Come now. That’s an old habit, and a bad one at that. Alicia is too blunt to rely on subtle manipulation, and it’s not her style anyway. She seems like she’s actually worried about me. I guess I’m going to have to unlearn that habit, if I’m to get along in the future.

I sighed. “Maybe. I think it would help if I finally got it out there, but I want some time to get my thoughts and feelings in order. Then we can talk about it in full, if you’re still willing. It wouldn’t hurt if the change of scenery was more pleasant than usual.”

Any further discussion was cut off when a shrill whistle came from the front of the convoy, loud enough so we could clearly hear it even though we were four wagons behind the leader. The entire convoy ground to a halt, our wagon lurching as the driver yanked at the reins, horses whinnying. People from the wagons behind us jumped off their vehicles and stood out in the open, looking at something ahead.

We disembarked and took a look for ourselves. A column of smoke, still distant but rising high into the sky, was directly ahead. Off in the far distance, I could see a structure of some kind. Squinting, I could make out an outpost, likely the border checkpoint we would’ve had to cross through to make it into Kierhai.

The smoke was coming out of the outpost. In fact, it was safer to say that the outpost itself was the source, as several of the buildings were on fire.

What’s going on? Who would dare attack an Algrustian border outpost? Surely not bandits or highwaymen. Border outposts weren’t fortresses but they had competent crews of well-trained soldiers manning them. It was standard for a typical Algrustian outpost to have anywhere from thirty to forty permanent soldiers stationed in one at any time, each able to perform multiple duties to keep the outpost self-sustaining if cut off from a supply line.

Alverd leaned over to me. “What do you make of this, milady? I doubt this is the work of the Magisters.”

I nodded my head in agreement. “It makes no sense for them to weaken their own security at this point. We need to get over there and find out what’s going on.” I ran to the lead driver, a grizzled lion beastman with a bushy beard. “Sir! We should investigate. There might be people in need of help.”

The leader looked down from his wagon at me with incredulity. “You’re crazy. You want to go towards the obvious signs of trouble? Lady, we’re a merchant caravan. If there’s a bunch of ne’er-do-wells in there, we can’t fight them off.”

I placed my hands on my hips and scowled at him. “Then leave it to us. You can put it towards our travel expenses.”

He thought about it, trying to weigh the cost of delay against his profits versus paying us out of pocket to solve his immediate problem. “Alright, fine. I’ll get you closer but you better be as good as you say.” He waved to the others. “All of you, stay here. You can move up if you see a white flag flying over the outpost.”

I ran back to the others. “I may have solved our problem of earning our transportation, but now we have to clear out that outpost. Any objections?”

Alverd shook his head. “None. How do you want to approach this?”

Grateful for the distraction, I allowed myself to put my intellect towards solving a problem with an achievable solution. “Alright, here’s what I was thinking… “