At one point in my life, I would’ve said without any hesitation or uncertainty that mages were the biggest backstabbers in the world. Even now, years after I’ve learned to make up my own mind about things like that, I’ve met enough mages to believe that assumption still had weight to it.
I woke up after a wonderful night’s sleep in a luxurious bed completely refreshed and in a wonderful mood. Amazing what a few hours of sleep will do for you, I mused as I climbed out of bed, sliding my feet into a pair of soft indoor slippers. Despite having been dragged out to the forest to watch Kuro undertake some rite of passage the night prior, I was more intrigued by what I had learned to have too many lingering frustrations.
Not long after I had dressed, a servant escorted me to the throne room to join my companions. There, alongside breakfast, I joined in on Kuro’s interrogation. There isn’t any other word for it. What Sheena and Alverd put him through? No reason for them to push so hard if they believed him. I gave him a softball question and let him be.
I don’t know what Kuro had to go through in that forest, but I can’t help but feel like he’s hiding something. Maybe it was my newfound empathy with his situation, but something about the way he had fidgeted through the questions posed seemed off. His answers came too readily, like they’d been rehearsed. It’s not like him to share so much, but it’s also none of my business what he does. Besides, I’ve got better things to think about.
The fact that mages sent their students into the dangers of the unknown was a shock to me. For years many of my fellow Ishmarians assumed that mages just spent all their time with their heads in books, without any practical knowledge of how to survive in the wild. Sending Kuro into that forest alone, even if it wasn’t exactly standard, does away with that belief. Sure, under normal circumstances it’s supervised but it’s not all that different from what we do in Ishmar.
When I had progressed to the final stage of my berserker training, my instructor had blindfolded me and stranded me in the unforgiving badlands north of the Castle of Brimstone. There I had to survive for an entire week on nothing but what I could forage, hunt or scrounge. Every berserker had to learn how to fend for themselves if cut off from their allies, including treating their own wounds.
The badlands were open, mostly flat terrain with the occasional rock formations jutting out of the ground like the bones of fallen dragons, with almost no vegetation or game. The lack of tree cover meant that the sun would bear down all day, and any water had to be checked to make sure it wasn’t acidic. No sane person would ever venture into that territory expecting to survive for very long.
Like an idiot, I managed to wound myself on the first day. Thinking I’d gotten lucky in spotting a boar, I slipped from a crag and hit my head, also managing to twist my ankle in the process. For two days I slipped in and out of consciousness, feeling hunger gnaw at my insides. By the end of the second cold, lonely night, I broke down in tears. It had been the first time I’d allowed myself to cry in years.
I remember how I wished for Father to come save me. How weak I was for wanting it. I wished for a lot of things as I lay there. Well, pleaded more like. I felt a little bit disgusted with myself as I recalled that memory. I begged Evros to just make it so my family would stop fighting with each other all the time, and that the rest of my siblings would treat me like a real sister.
I could almost feel the stinging cold of the falling night, the throbbing pain in my ankle, and the hot tears on my cheeks all over again. Evros didn’t answer me. So I had to save myself. Every day since, I’ve had to remind myself of that. Until I met Alverd and Kuro, that is.
It wasn’t until I heard a snuffling sound that I snapped out of it. Somehow, in a stroke of fortune, the boar I’d tracked had come back. I played dead until it got close, then bashed its head in the moment it let its guard down. Building a fire in the aftermath was agony, but the prospect of fresh meat was enough to get me to fight through the pain. I was so famished at that point that I finished eating despite being in excruciating pain before I attended to my foot. I had to make a splint out of the boar’s ribs and some of my belts, and though the end result was clumsy, it was functional.
After the interrogation ended, I asked Sheena if there was a place where I could learn a few things about her country’s history.
“Ah, a splendid idea! I will send someone to help you, princess. Please understand that I will not be able to accompany you for now, but if you have questions about anything later, don’t hesitate to ask.” She ran away before I could say anything else. Eventually, a primly dressed elf girl in the customary black and white maid’s dress showed up and curtsied before me. “I’m pleased to be of service, princess,” she growled.
Are maids supposed to sound like they want to murder you in your sleep? Still, it didn’t hurt to try to be courteous at first. “Just Alicia is fine. And you are…?” She glared at me unflinchingly.
“Leticia.” Yikes, I thought. She really does not like me at all. The girl had pale platinum blonde hair done up in a pixie cut, with the lightest hazel eyes I’d ever seen. She had slightly bronzed skin that suggested she’d seen plenty of outside work, and a mole on her chin.
With her buttons done all the way up to her neck and not a single wrinkle in her pressed blouse, she looked like the personification of the word prissy. “Her Majesty has arranged for you to take a tour of the Palace. You asked to learn about our history, and she has graciously assigned me to guide you.” Judging by the way she hissed that last bit out of her teeth like a snake, she probably would’ve preferred scrubbing chamber pots over escorting me.
I returned to my room briefly to get changed. I left my dragon egg in my room (hidden, of course), but slung my maul over my shoulder. Given how often Sheena had been targeted lately, it just made sense not to leave my trusty weapon behind. For several hours, I followed Leticia through glistening halls and lavish rooms, each one rivaling the beauty of my own home, the Castle of Brimstone.
I found it to be incredibly boring. “When I said I wanted a tour of the Palace,” I whined at her, “I meant I wanted to see how you wage your battles, or things like that. I want to know about the wars you’ve fought against Ishmar from your perspective.”
Perhaps equally frustrated that I was wasting her time, Leticia sighed heavily. “Your wish is my command.” A few minutes later, she was guiding me down halls full of portraits of deceased rulers, stretching back hundreds of years.
On the left hand side, the portraits were of more recent rulers, while the right hand wall had ones of rulers from Algrustos’ founding age and onward. I ignored the ones on the right and searched for the one I wanted to see most: Sheena’s parents. Perhaps, reading my mind, Leticia waved me over to the end of the hall.
She motioned to the last portrait in the line. “This would be the late Wizard-King and his wife, the former Witch-Queen.” The King was a very regal elf with long pale blond hair, and very muted blue eyes, but also very sharp features, even aside from his long, pointed ears. The Queen was fair, with long, straight red hair and green eyes that glinted with a familiar air of mischief. Her ears, however, while pointed, weren’t as long as her husband’s and were more rounded at the tip. I pointed this out to the servant, and she nodded.
“That would be because the Witch-Queen was only a half-elf. The kingdom found it odd that the Wizard-King would take a half-elf as his bride, given that possessing even a drop of human blood denies the bearer elven longevity. It used to be a punishment among the elven community, you know, to “infect” an elven criminal with human blood to force them to live only as long as a human does. It was quite the scandal. More than twelve generations of proud, pureblood elves ruling this land, and then the King goes and marries a half-elf. The entire bloodline is tainted, now. Such a shame.”
I snorted. “That’s some way to talk about your ruler. Maybe I should let the Witch-Queen know how you feel about her parentage.” She sneered at me.
“Her Majesty couldn’t care less about her heritage. Never is that more apparent in the way she conducts her affairs, political or otherwise. People talk behind her back all the time, and she’s rather used to it by now.” I didn’t like the smug look on the elf girl’s face. Something about it made me want to lash my hand out and smack it right off.
“Well if not Sheena, maybe Lord Albrecht? I bet he wouldn’t appreciate you badmouthing his niece to anyone, much less a foreign dignitary.” Folding my arms, it was my turn to smirk. “Maybe I’ll go tell him right now the catty things you like saying when you think nobody is listening.”
The sudden change from haughtiness to fear caught me off guard. The elf’s eyes widened and her expression broke. “Please! I spoke out of turn. There’s no need to inform the Prime Minister.” She held up her hands in surrender. “He is quite protective of Her Majesty. Perhaps overly so…”
Cocking my head questioningly, I asked “What does it matter if I tell him or not? If you don’t want people telling the guys in charge how you feel, you shouldn’t be flapping your lips.” The servant quailed. “You don’t understand. The Prime Minister is like a father to the Witch-Queen. He raised her himself. I’m sure it’s not hard to imagine how a father can dote on his daughter…” She leaned in close to me and whispered, “...or burn the world to protect her.”
That struck a chord in me. My mind dredged up the image of my own father, coughing on his throne, watching me declare my intention to compete for the right to rule Ishmar against all the odds. I let it slide. “Yes…quite right.”
Leticia turned as though she were about to guide me down the hall further, but then stopped, and then abruptly about-faced. “There’s one last thing to see at the end of the hall. But…” She began to fidget.
“Well? Spit it out.” I said.
The girl’s expression went sour, fast. I could almost hear her debating in her head about whether it was worth tempting my wrath or not. “I must ask that you remain calm, prin-I mean, Alicia. What I am about to show you might be a bit triggering for you.” She glided down the hall before I could ask for details. She led me to the very end of the hall, where there was a large memorial stone seated upon a gold dais nestled in a dead end. Etched on the memorial were two names: “King Lascow Reinhardt” and “Queen Mirka Reinhardt”. The woman drew my attention to a display case at the forefront of the memorial.
In the display case were three knives. I recognized their make immediately; they were Ishmarian. The dull sheen and non-reflective surfaces of the knives gave them away as dragon tooth metals. The guards were standard steel, but the gold interlaced patterning of the hilt was a common Ishmarian practice. They were clean, as though someone had taken great pains to make them presentable.
I glared at Leticia. “So you didn’t want me to see these?”
Her face didn’t betray any emotion, but the intensity of her stare told me volumes, as did her voice. “I heard you denied that assassins were involved in the deaths of our king and queen. Truth stands even if others deny it. Ishmarians murdered our rulers, Alicia. I have no reason to think you are any different than the assassins themselves.”
Something itched at me. Something was definitely weird about this situation. I can’t put my finger on it, though. Why leave me alone with this girl who absolutely seems dead set on angering me? What was Sheena thinking? Is this some kind of test? “Maybe it’s time you stop talking, Leticia. Next time Sheena asks you to do something you don’t want to do, you should just tell her to find someone else.”
Leticia balled her hands into fists. “Her Majesty didn’t ask me to do anything. I volunteered for this so I could-” She cut herself off. “Could what?” I pressed. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as my berserker instincts kicked in. I’m alone in a secluded part of the Palace with my back to a dead end. If some moron wanted to target me, now would be the perfect time.
Leticia opened the fingers of her right hand and a wand slid out of her sleeve. Her expressionless face twisted into one of smug satisfaction. “Oh, what does it matter? The Magisters, of course. They hate the idea of a mongrel like you running around our hallowed halls, and they hate the idea of Her Majesty bandying the idea of peace even more.” She waved the wand and a blue spark ignited at its tip, sizzling like a stovetop.
I pulled the maul off my back and waved it at her. The familiar bubbling sensation of rage was already starting to churn at the bottom of my gut like a stewpot on a fire. “That’s all well and good for them. A pity they were too cowardly to come tell me that to my face, and had to send some errand girl to do it for them.” I twisted my fingers around the haft of the maul, the sound of my skin on the metal bouncing audibly off the narrow walls of the corridor.
For a brief moment, I saw Leticia’s lip curl. Then she reasserted control over herself again, albeit with some difficulty. There’s her tell. Pretty obvious one, but good to know her buttons are easy to push. “No need for them to waste time dealing with you. Let their hands remain clean. It’s why people like me exist, princess.” She uncurled the fingers of her left hand and another wand appeared from her sleeve, then licked her lips. “For them, it’s business. But for me, it’s a pleasure.”
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Well, shit.
There was no warning before the glass broke. One second Leticia was standing in front of me, the next I felt a piercing pain as something stabbed into my shoulder. A second later, whatever had hit me yanked itself out of my back and flew over my shoulder, accompanied by two other objects. I saw the three knives from the display case, now orbiting Leticia’s upper body like the celestial bodies in the orrery at the Academy, her left hand tracing a circular motion lazily as her right hand pointed the wand at me.
“I’m actually sort of glad it’s so hard to kill a berserker,” Leticia said as the knives began to revolve faster around her. “I wouldn’t want this to be over too quickly. I was honestly expecting to get the job of killing Sheena, but I guess I can settle for you, princess.” Then the mocking tone crept back into her voice. “Try to make this at least a little difficult. There’s no enjoyment for me if you don’t make me work for it.”
Be careful what you wish for, bitch. You don’t stand against the river, you direct it where to go. From the sensation of bubbling and boiling came the surging torrent of anger, the feeling of indomitable adrenaline that flowed into every muscle, filling me with strength and sharpening my mind’s eye into a razor. The blood haze ringed my vision, blotting out everything but the elf and her floating knives.
My first swing, however, proved that Leticia had played me better than I had realized.
The maul collided with the wall and bounced off the sturdy stone with a resounding clang. In my rage-haze, I hadn’t realized that I’d been too close. A sharp sting across my upper left arm followed by another sting on my left thigh were enough to focus my mind back on my attacker, so that the third knife didn’t hit me in the throat. Ducking to the left, I nearly slammed into the opposite wall. There was barely seven feet of space between the two walls, and no culverts that would shelter me from the knives.
With her right hand, Leticia sent a series of small red orbs down the corridor. Two hit me in the chest, and while I felt the impacts I didn’t know they were miniature fireballs until the smell of burnt leather hit my nostrils. She’s got me pinned. If I advance, she’ll blast me. If I stand my ground, she’ll cut me to ribbons. The knives wheeled back around, coasting back to their orbit around the assassin.
“You’ve bled us slowly for years, princess. Every time your illiterate hordes try to invade, you kill and pillage everything you come across. You’re worse than locusts. Every single time we lose good men and women who had bright futures. And for each lowly barbarian we cut down, you have ten more waiting behind them to keep running straight at us.”
The knives shot forward again. I swung blindly at them with my maul but only managed to clip one. The other two sank into the skin of my forearms, deep enough to draw small torrents of blood before sliding free to float back over to Leticia. Another small fireball hit my knee, threatening to knock me off balance.
Think! THINK! I tried to quell the panic in my head. Don’t let her control the space. Don’t let her control the environment. Failing those, don’t let her stay in control of herself. The only way you win this is if you drag her down to your level and sock her in the jaw. “If you aren’t good enough to keep us out then how strong are you really? Who’s the bigger failure, the vermin or the idiots who aren’t smart enough to put us down for good?”
The marble floor twisted as an entire section of it morphed into a solid, narrow spike that shot up and through my shin. The sheer pain of sustaining such an injury was enough to make me bite down hard to choke back a scream, and I dropped my maul as the blood haze fought to stop me from losing consciousness. I sank to one knee, and I felt blood begin to trickle down my leg from the now gaping wound.
I slouched against the wall, knocking the painting of some crusty old king from its place. “You mages call us uncultured, but you’re the one playing with your food right now.” I threw my arms open wide, snarling at her. “Meat and potatoes! Come and get me!” I wiped some of the blood from my arm and smeared it across my cheek, tracing it in a line across the bridge of my nose.
Leticia’s mouth curled again. “What are you even saying right now? I’ve barely scratched you and you’ve already lost your mind.” She took a step closer, aiming with the wand in her right hand. “I already said I wasn’t going to make this quick, princess. But by all means, keep provoking me. I can find ways to draw this out.”
Which is what I want, you nimrod. Guess you really aren’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. I chuckled out loud as I realized how relevant my idle thought had been.
“What’s so funny, princess?” Leticia cursed as she spun her left hand faster, making the knives circle her head like angry wasps.
“I was just thinking about how some of those Magister Lords must be compensating for something with those staves of theirs.”
All three knives plunged into my stomach. I saw them sink into my skin, penetrating the leather cuirass I wore like it was made of wet parchment. Everything below my rib cage immediately went numb and I lost my balance, teetering against the portrait frame to remain upright. The knives yanked themselves free of my torso and I felt cold as blood began to run from the wounds.
Oh Evros. This isn't smart. I know it’s not but it’s the only plan I have. And I’m only going to have one shot at it. I held my hand to my abdomen to try and stem the bleeding and all I could feel was how hard it was getting to keep the red blood haze from turning black. This must be what Kuro feels like whenever he gets in over his head. I hate it. No wonder he’s so grumpy all the time when it comes to bad planning.
Weakly, I pointed at my forehead with my left hand. “You can’t aim worth a damn, can you? Right here. Put ‘em right here.” I tapped a spot just above the space between my eyes. “Show me a party trick like the cut rate street magician you are.” With my bloodsoaked right hand, however, I let go of my stomach and quietly took hold of my maul.
Taking the bait, Leticia gave a full throated cry of anger and loosed the knives at me. When I saw them hurtling through the air at me, I grabbed the frame of the portrait with my left hand and pulled the heavy painting in front of me. The three knives hit the thick surface of the canvas and split it easily, but the steel handguards caught on it and stopped them from going all the way through.
Slamming the portrait against the wall, I braced the head of the maul against the back of the portrait and the bottom of the haft against the now uneven floor, effectively pinning it and neutralizing the knives as weapons. Propelled by a renewed burst of vengeance-driven fury, I sprinted down the hallway at Leticia, my arms held out in front of my face.
Eyes widening, Leticia tried to throw more of her fireballs at me. I felt them hit my arms, some bouncing off the reflecting plates hidden beneath the leather exterior, some not. It doesn’t matter. This ends with me face down in a puddle of my own blood or with my hands wrapped around this bitch’s throat.
When I was about three feet away, I saw raw fear in her eyes. She saw her death coming straight at her. In the space of a few precious seconds she had gone from the hunter to the prey. Just as nobody was coming to save me, it was likely no one was coming to save her either. I leaned down to barrel shoulder first into her chest and I heard the air push out of her lungs as I thrust my elbow into the space just under her ribs. I let the momentum carry us forward, then grabbed both of her legs and lifted, throwing her up and backward so she landed on her back.
In an instant I was on top of her, my hands around her neck. The blood haze was so thick all I could see was crimson, almost blotting out everything but the sight of Leticia’s face. She tried to pull my hands away from her neck, but at this point it was hopeless. I could hear the choked sounds of her struggling to breathe, and something happened.
No. No. You’re not enjoying this. You’re not taking joy in watching another person die. Not like this. My hands began to quake, and they let go of her neck. I fell back and off of Leticia, and she rolled away, coughing as she forced herself to breathe. I buried my face in my hands, feeling the warm blood against my skin. The familiar nausea that I felt when I killed for the very first time filled my body.
When I killed for the first time, I was sick to my stomach. Every time I killed after that, I had to tell myself it was because I had no choice. But this is a choice. To surrender to the deepest part of my rage is to stop being a person, and become a rabid beast. To become like every Ishmarian that came before you. To continue the cycle you want to break. I opened my mouth and I think I screamed at that point, but if I did I couldn’t hear it.
The river is carrying you away. Don’t get swept away. Don’t let it sweep you away.
The image of a river swirled through my mind’s eye. I could see myself standing in it, looking at a version of myself that looked like a scared child screaming for someone to come save her. The water turned from white-blue to a red that I knew wasn’t water, but blood, and I felt a chill in the depths of my very soul.
The voice of my instructor echoed in my head. Drown in blood, yours or your enemy’s. You do not stand against the river, but you don’t let it carry you away. You stand in the river, the sieve and the rudder, and you kill and kill and kill until you yourself are killed. It is the fate of all berserkers to drown, child. I wrestled the blood haze for control, like a tamer wrapping a chain around a bull. As the haze began to subside, the last of my teacher’s words came to me.
Pray that someday there will be someone to pull you from the river. When the time comes, all berserkers drown alone.
As the world seeped back into focus, I became aware of how utterly numb I felt. I could barely move or feel my fingers or toes. My vision was swimming and even sitting upright didn’t feel possible. Leticia made her way back to her feet and came back to me, her wand back in her hand.
“Like killing a rat. No remorse, no hesitation. Just doing a service to the rest of the world.” The tip of the wand flared with a ball of red flame, illuminating the hall with eerie dancing light.
In the light, I saw Lord Albrecht, who came up behind Leticia and in one smooth motion, slapped the wand from her hand with his right hand and then wrapped a muscular arm under her neck. A second later he hoisted the elf off her feet, squeezing her throat in the crook of his left arm. She made a few sounds, either surprise at this new attacker or her attempt at not choking.
Lord Albrecht looked me in the eye. “Suffocation is a terrible way to die. Slow, painful, full awareness from start to finish. You don’t deserve this mercy.” There was a sound like a loaded spring being released and a knife appeared in his right hand. He twisted her body to the side and stabbed it into the space between her shoulder blades, severing the spine in one clean thrust. Leticia’s eyes bulged, then her entire body went slack. “But I will grant it all the same.” He released her, and her corpse hit the ground like a sack of hammers.
The next thing I knew, I was being lifted gently in Lord Albrecht’s arms. “You are most fortunate, princess. My apologies for not arriving sooner.”
My eyes met his. “How did you know where to stab her to kill so cleanly?” I saw the knife glinting in his hand, and to my great shock it was identical to the ones Leticia had used to nearly kill me. “Who are you really?”
He gave me a faint smile. “Today, I am the one who will pull you from the river.”
I choked in surprise, then coughed up a mouthful of blood. “Try not to exert yourself, child. Rest for now. And know that for my old friend’s sake, I will not let his daughter die today.”
“Wait…how do you know the berserker creed? Who are you? Tell me…” I tried to stay awake but I could not fight the agonizing numbness spreading through my limbs.
“All will be told in good time, child. I must find your friends, and my niece. It is time we put our contingency plan into motion.” No longer able to keep my eyes open, I slipped away, swaying in the strangely comforting grip of Albrecht’s arms.
When I woke up, my eyes saw the open blue of the cloudless sky. There was the faint rustling of tree branches in a light breeze, which I could only feel on parts of my face. As my vision sharpened, I saw Alverd and Kuro lean forward and over me. Kuro waved.
“Hey, Alicia. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like you’ve seen better days.”
I was about to reach up and strangle him when a fresh jolt of pain shot up my arm. I moaned, and instantly remembered how hurt I was. Alverd laid his hand on my shoulder to stop me from sitting up.
“Don’t try to move. We just finished bandaging you. You’ll tear them ope-
“Where were you?” I wheezed at him, and I felt tears start to emerge from the corners of my eyes. My arm shot out and before I knew it, my fingers wrapped around his hand, squeezing tight enough to make him wince. “I didn’t know what to do… where were you?” The sobbing made my chest hurt but I didn’t care. There was a far greater pain in my chest that needed attending to and it wasn’t going to stop until I got an answer.
Alverd’s eyes cast themselves downward, at first not willing to look at me. Then he gingerly held my hand up to his chest. “Not where I should’ve been.” He placed his other hand on top of my head, brushing my hair in a way that reminded me of how my mother had done when I was little. “And I promise it’ll never happen again.”
I wanted to make some biting remark, to make him feel bad, but I didn’t have the energy. I could already hear how guilty he was from the tone of his voice. He’s here now. That’s what matters. Instead, I took a slow breath in. “Where’s Albrecht?”
Sheena appeared, kneeling on the ground next to me. “He’s here. He went to throw our pursuers off our tail for a moment.” After a moment, she bowed her head. “I’m sorry, too, princess. This only happened because I was thinking of myself.”
I shook my head, slowly. “No point in hashing it all out now. Tell me everything I need to know.”
Kuro spoke up. “Lord Albrecht carried you out to the training ground and said you’d been attacked. You were bleeding and barely breathing. A bunch of the Magisters’ personal guards showed up trying to claim that you killed someone in the Palace then attacked us the moment we told them we didn’t buy their story.” He took a second to seat himself fully, then continued.
“We’re in the Forest of Familiars right now. According to Sheena, it’s the only place where mages can’t use scrying to find our exact location and hunt us down. Eventually they’ll figure out we’re here, but it’ll take a full-fledged team of veteran mages to come in and find us.” He kept looking around with a worried look on his face. “I won’t lie, Alicia, it looks bad. The wall will stop any of us from escaping and it encircles the entire forest perimeter. So at some point, the only way out is that gate at the front.”
Alverd spoke next. “For now, we’re going to move further in. When Lord Albrecht joins us, we’ll come up with a plan. He and Sheena have talked about hiding supplies and a contingency plan here in the forest, and once he gets here he can lead us to it.” He locked eyes with me. “Just try to shut your eyes and rest. We’ll be here.”
His words were more soothing than any medicine could’ve ever been. My eyes fluttered shut, but then opened. I stared at him intently. “Wait,” I stammered. I reached my hand out and grabbed his hand again. “If I fall into the river again, pull me out, okay?” I tugged at his fingers and interlocked mine into his. “Promise me you’ll pull me out.” I babbled.
I could see he didn’t understand. How could he? He never studied the berserker creed. “I promise, princess. Rest. I’m not going anywhere.” Finally reassured, I tilted my head back against the ground and let myself drift off. My last thought was that Albrecht was going to have a lot to answer for when he got back.
Maybe mages don’t have a monopoly on backstabbing after all.