“How much fucking HP does this shit have left Emma?” I asked my sidekick as I tried to fend off all the motherfuckers that’s now swarming us 7 hours into the battle.
Yea, I left off last time abruptly again but that’s because I had to take a piss in front of over 300 others in the corner with fucking zombies and golems attacking me. If that happened to you, I bet you would call it quits too so don’t fuck with me on that.
Anyways, we are now 7 fucking hours into this boss fight, and the boss still have whatever amount of hp Emma will tell me soon. What started with 300 people that formed 52 parties, I think we are fucking down to 5 parties as far as I can tell?
With so few parties and the entire area pretty much crawling with skeleton and golems now because the fucker summons them much faster than we could clear. I really couldn’t tell you if it’s 5 parties remaining or 4 or 6 but I just know there aren’t that many fuckers left and I think we are going to get fucked.
“About 100k hp left but I am out of pots and can only provide the most essential boosts.” My Emma replied.
“I am out of mana as well. Can only fire off my fire explosion every 20 seconds and do nothing else and can’t boost the damage either.” China girl answered without needing me to ask. Mmmh, looks like my ex-interim might be learning how to properly behave, but it’s too late, she is not getting rehired.
“Jr, give me a report.” I asked blonde jr, the only one who is still not with the program. Good thing I am not paying those two or they would have been fired hours ago.
“Running on empty as well. No more health pot either so if I take a big hit, it will be over for me.” Blondie Jr replied.
So yea, basically after 7 fucking hours of doing god knows how much damage to the motherfucker, we are all out of potions, getting swarmed by stupid ass skeletons and golems from every direction and having the big motherfucker shooting magic spells at us as well. So I guess that’s yet for us, time to call it quits and hopefully the other fucks also drops out so the instructors can finish off the fucker and I can get some fucking food to eat.
Is that what you expect me to say? Someone who fucking slayed slimes for 12 fucking years for no gain. Do you expect me to fucking give up after 7 fucking hours because we are out of pots? Of the fucking course I am not fucking giving up and after what this fucking shit putting me through. I am for sure getting the finish blow.
“Change of plan. Emma, hand me the speed potion. You and Mia drop out and get to safety. Ann, you come with me. We are going melee range to that motherfucker and I will try to kill the shit myself.” I instructed my party.
“Ken. Your plan is stupid. I know exactly what you want to do but you won’t last long enough to do 100k damage. I am Christopher Lionheart’s daughter. No way in hell I am dropping out in my entrance exam test.” Emma replied.
“Seriously! I didn’t come all the way from China to drop out in some stupid exam.” China girl added.
Did my fucking sidekick just call me stupid? Fuck. I mean Emma is most likely right. I know my plan would likely fail but I wasn’t just going to stand around until we slowly got forced to quit.
“If you are going to call me stupid. Better give me a better plan.” I demanded. I know you are my blondie, but you better give me something if you want me to overlook the way you are speaking to me.
“Obviously, the first thing we should do is approach the other parties. If they also survived for 7 hours, then they are definitely strong. What we lack mostly is just mana and if they have someone with mana regen boost then that would resolve most of our issues and we can just drag the fight out as long as needed.” Emma replied. I guess my blondie was smart after all, but how the fuck would I. Someone who’s ever partied with my sidekick in the past 12 years know of such a thing?
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“Fine, you win blondie. We will go with your plan. But where the fuck are the other groups. I know they are fucking damaging the fucker with their spells but all I can fucking see are the deadweights hiding in that corner. Probably all tried to peek at me while I was taking a piss.” I wondered. I can fucking see random attacks hitting the boss but with so many fucking summons everywhere, I have no clue where the other groups are.
“We will go clockwise and make a circle around. For now, just conserve as much your mana as you can, only use the necessary skills to survive and once we find some other fuckers, we can make new plans.” I shouted the plan to my underlings as they voiced their understanding.
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE OTHER FUCKERS?” I screamed after 15 minutes of fighting through motherfucking skeletons and golems and we literally ran into no one. In the fucking 15 minutes, we did minimum damage to the actual fucker as we needed Mia to clear the hordes that’s blocking our way and after slow but steady progress, we made a quarter way around the fucking room without finding a single fucker.
“I see them! They were all literally on the opposite side as we were!” Meatshield suddenly declared as she was leading the way with the best view of whenever China girl clears a path for us to move forward.
Another 15 minutes of struggling through a sea of skeletons and golems and we finally made contact with the other survivors.
Apparently, those fuckers are all even smarter than Emma and have decided for form an alliance from the very beginning of the fucking thing. I didn’t even fucking know what a alliance was until we met up and China girl explained it to me.
Anyways, before I got annoyed with her broken English, I stopped her since I got what I needed to know. As long as we are in a fucking alliance with those smartasses, we will be able to cast boosts and protect each other like we could when we are in a party and that’s all I needed to know.
The smart fuckers consists of 4 parties with 19 total people, including the 4 of us. I honestly think there are only 23 total people left still in the fight and the alliance confirmed that other than my random thunderbolts and Mia’s fire explosion. They have not seen another attack in hours.
For some reason, Emma told me to let her do the talking. I am the fucking leader. Why is my sidekick doing the talking with the alliance?
“Ken, accept their invite to join the alliance. We will keep our same formation.” Emma ordered like she was the fucking leader.
As much as I am not liking my sidekick’s bossy attitude, I am a gentle and kind leader to my minions so I let her behaviors slide while joining this alliance and got in position to defend the squishy from the onslaught of skeletons and golems.
“THUNDERBOLT!” I screamed as I sent another bolt at the motherfucker.
After 8 hours of non-stop fighting except for when I had to piss in the corner, we are finally on the home stretch where the boss was down to 10k hp. Allying with the others was definitely the right decision as they had 2 support with mana regen boost! How is my fucking Emma with all her fucking support skills not have any mana regen boost but those random npcs does!
While none of the npcs were all that strong, they actually worked very well together and I was shocked they could come up with this plan. After fighting alongside them, I came to the realization that while we tried to overpower the boss, they had an actual working plan.
Sure, none of their tanks could tank physical damage like me or have nearly as many defensive enchants and spells like blondie jr. Their entire support team also can’t compare to Emma in pure amount of boosts and the different numbers of useful spells.
Those fuckers couldn’t even compare to me in terms of having a powerful ranged spell much less when compared to China girl’s fire expulsion. Yet I know if my team followed my original stupidass plan, we would have lost while they would still be here rotating in tanks while slowly chipping away at the boss.
I wonder which one was the smart fucker that came up with this plan. Even I am impressed that someone could form this alliance this quickly. They must have way more experience at boss fights. With only 10k hp left, I guess I will just tell my ex-interim to stop attacking soon so I can get the final blow and that kill count.
“EMMA! Pot me!” I demanded as I saw a figure dash forward suddenly in the corner of my eye.
MOTHERFUCKER! Who the hell is that? Is that the mastermind for this little group of npc? Why does he even want the kill? What am I missing from my lack of boss hunting experience! FUCK! I hate being so fucking weak for all this time and could never do a boss fight.
“KEN! Party that kills the boss gets an extra 5x increased luck bonus drop!” China girl screamed as Emma handed me the speed potion.
Obviously, Emma knew what my plan was since she had to pay 20,000 yen for this single speed potion that I got as the final trump card. Chugging down the fucking pot that I thought I could save for a later use, whoever this motherfucker is that’s trying to steal my boss kill will fucking pay.
I don’t even fucking care about the bonus drop to some mid tier dungeon and it’s not like one kill does me any good for exp or anything else. Why did I just fucking chug a 20,000 yen pot to get a kill that don’t mean shit?
This fucking kill is 100% fucking personal!
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