“100,000! 100,001? 100,002?? 100,003??? 100,004???????? WHERE THE FUCK IS MY POPUP????” I screamed as I killed over 100k skeletons and the pleasurable ding never ringed.
“Emma! Get us out of this shit hole!” I yelled as my beautiful blonde came rushing over in confusion but didn’t question my frustration and teleported us out of the dungeon.
“What happened? Did you check your new skill without me?” Emma asked, not sure why I was so pissed.
“I didn’t get a fucking skill! And I’m at 100,010 kills! What the fuck just happened!” I complained, couldn’t control my emotions after slaying those stick figures for a whole fucking month to not get a skill? What the fuck is going on here?
At a time like this, I am glad I got Emma with me. If she wasn’t around to calm me down, I might have done something stupid and ended up having a run in with the police.
“You know Ken, I think I might have figured out why you didn’t gain a skill.” Emma said calmly as she patted my head while I laid my head in her laps on a park bench watching the anger and frustration growing from that stalking butler.
“I got nothing so whatever you think is going on is better than any guesses I have.” I replied, feeling the warmth of her thighs while watching the stupidass butler in anger has calmed me down slightly.
“The skill you always gained is called something something soul right. Maybe the reason you didn’t get a skill is because skeletons don't have a soul?” Emma said as I pondered her reasoning.
“Let’s just pretend your theory is correct. How exactly would we know if something has a soul or not? Would zombies have a soul? Mummies have a soul? Robots have a soul? The fucking AI that’s supposedly trying to take over the world have a soul?” I asked, getting frustrated again that my already bullshit ability have other fucking limitations.
“Well, from what we have gathered, I think any creature that’s alive should be fair game. If a slime has a soul then I would assume anything living should right? I know zombies and mummies are high on our list as the next possible candidate but we might have to go with something that we can guarantee would grant you a skill especially since we are so close to the exam.” Emma said while comforting me. You know, it’s moments like this that I feel bad for staring at other girl’s boobs and asses so much.
“Back to the drawing board I guess. Hopefully I get a kickass skill next or I might be fucked for the exam.”
“Don’t worry! If you don’t. I will order you some super top tier gear! I am not going to Tokyo Academy without you.” Emma replied, throwing her money at any problem I might face. Thank you Emma, thank you for being so rich. I don’t think I could have made this far without your wallet.
“Lady Emma! You shouldn’t waste your father’s wealth like that! This guy deserves none of your generosity! I saw him buy a porno magazine just yesterday when he got off work!” Albert protested, I guess he's not just going to standby and do nothing about the situation.
You were spying on me? You fucking piece of shit butler! What’s wrong with a highschool senior buying a porno or two or checking out a few girls?
“You shouldn’t be spying on Ken, Albert. Better him reading a magazine than looking for a girl. Besides, dad told me I can spend my allowance however I want.” Emma replied in her normal happy tone.
That’s right you piece of shit Albert! Would you rather I go look for a side chick or a prostitute instead of just reading some porno mag? Good thing he didn’t see me checking out a cute girl. But it’s not like a protagonist like me needs to go the prostitute route. I am sure I will have plenty of options when I become the hero that will safe this whole fucking world.
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“Thanks Emma. If it really comes down to it, I might really need you to get me some magic resist gear if I don’t get something good before the exam.” I said to my beautiful blondie as she smiled and nodded. Ah, life is good when you have the protagonist buff, success is guaranteed one way or another.
After resting a little longer on Emma’s lap, she decided to treat me to some converter belt sushi to cheer me up before I had to go to work. Yea, no one better put their dirty hands on my Emma. I am not letting my cash cow go anywhere.
“Hey Emma, how much allowance do you get from your dad anyways? Don’t think I ever asked.” I asked, wondering just how much cash I can milk from my beautiful blonde cow? Before you fuckers even try, I am just WONDERING.
If I actually wanted to take advantage of her wealth, I wouldn't have needed to work at the seven eleven after school everyday. I am sure Emma’s got more than enough to cover my living expenses if I would ever ask her for help.
“He gives each of us 10,000 a month.” Emma replied naively, without any fear of me using that knowledge against her.
“That’s yet? 10,000 yen is not going to get you much. I guess you don’t have to pay for anything, is the butler paying for everything we eat?” I replied. what the fuck? What cheapass billionaire is this? Giving her only 10,000 Yen? I make 10 times that from my seven eleven job!
“Oh. Not yen Silly. He gives each of us 10,000 dollars a month as allowance.” Emma replied like it was no fucking big deal.
“10,000 DOLLARS??? For an 18 year old high school kid? What the fuck does he expect you to buy?” I screamed. Completely losing it. Yeah, my fucking bad for thinking the fucking billionaire would that cheap and only giving his kids 10,000 Yen a month.
“I mean, both my brothers are always begging him for more money. I know Eric got himself a lamborghini for his 16th birthday a few weeks ago and Edward is always taking different girls on vacation to fancy places.” Emma replied nonchalantly while I was freaking the fuck out. Fuck them rich people, I really should change my life goal to be marrying this blondie and just let her be my sugar mommy.
“You are at least more responsible than those doofuses with your money, right?” I asked Emma, hoping she isn’t blowing through 10,000 dollars on stupid shit monthly like her brothers.
“How dare you call master Eric and Edward doofuses!” Albert cut into our conversation like anyone cares about his stupid opinions.
“Yea, I save at least half of my allowance a month for emergencies.” Emma answered happily.
“How do you spend 5000 dollars a month?” I thought you were a reasonable girl Emma… How have I judged you wrong? In what world could a fucking 18 year old spent 5000 dollars a month?
“Mostly just for our dungeon stuff and a little on food and buying myself some clothes. Having all the different trackers, registering for dungeon entrance, notifications, getting the full map data, teleporting us out of dungeons. I do say it costs at least 3-4000 dollars a month.” Emma replied like it was nothing while I was obviously flabbergasted.
Before you go. Ken? Didn’t you say you are not milking your cow? How come she is spending thousands of dollars on you each month? To my defense, if I had known how much this shit cost, I would mostly have just told her to give the money to me and retire as a sugar baby.
“At least your spending is more reasonable than buying stupid expensive cars or going on crazy expensive vacations.” I said, trying to justify to myself that she is just helping save the world by providing for the protagonist.
“Lady Emma, are you even hearing this ungrateful guy? You are doing everything for him and he is not even thanking you and calling your brothers doofuses!” Albert added, cutting into our conversation once again.
Like fuck you, you old geezer, you really had to put me on the spotlight like that? You can’t just see me get off this topic gracefully and move on pretending I’m not leeching off Emma?
“Albert, I know you and I don’t get along but that’s going too far. You know I am always grateful for Emma and appreciate everything she does for me.” I said defensively while giving my blondie a nice big hug just to piss him off more.
Like how dare you, you stupid butler for judging me and pretending like I don’t care about Emma and I’m just using her.
Sure, I might stare at other girls a little too often and take for granted what she does for me on a day to day bases but there is no doubt that if she is ever in trouble, I would fuck over anything or anyone to protect her and that is a promise from the future hero of the world.
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