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Chapter 18

“What if I told you that your planet was actually a sphere, and that there’s nothing ‘flat’ about it?” Winters asked Veera, wondering how receptive she would be to rocketing forward hundreds of years in terms of scientific understanding. It was true that ancient human cultures had discerned the nature of their planet, and perhaps the Cauthan had too at one point, but that didn’t mean knowledge didn’t get lost along the way. Pious as Veera’s village was, he hadn’t seen anything that appeared related to astronomy.

“I would tell you it’s a very large sphere then.” Veera replied, looking flummoxed when Io broke the projection to re-incorporate herself. Io leaned forward at the waist to stare intently at the Cauthan and then looked to Winters.

‘She’s quite sharp sir. I approve.’ With a wave of her hand at Veera, Io disappeared and was replaced by a full image of Mara taken from the pod’s sensors. The blue and green orb hung before them, white clouds shrouding parts of the surface. ‘This is your world, Veera.’

“It’s very pretty, isn’t it?” Veera asked no one in particular, moving closer to Winters so that she could examine the projection comfortably without straining her neck. “You asked me about the moons and Seil. Why?”

“That’s what’s next. Io, can you bring the moons into the picture?” Soon they could see Eiur and Auril in orbit around Mara. Io animated the motion of the moons and marked the location of Veera’s village on the surface of the planet. Again, Winters simply gave Veera time to observe what was set before her. He wanted to lead her as little as possible.

“The transit…” Veera murmured. “So this is why the goddesses are always in motion?”

“Yes. That’s how they set and rise again in the west. They make a full rotation around your planet and come back around the other side.”

“They do that once a day?” Veera asked. “That must be quite fast.”

“Not exactly, no, but your intuition isn’t far off. Mara rotates, so while the moons move, so do we. Io, if you would?” Winters requested. Io modeled the rotation of the planet and added another element to the projection that showed how each moon would look to an observer in their position as the transit occurred. After observing a few seventeen day cycles, Veera brought a hand to her head.

“This hurts my brain a bit.” She groaned. “But I think I’m beginning to understand. Where does Seil come in?” Winters smiled softly at her, enjoying the pleasure of an eager student.

“Io, let’s go for shock and awe on this one. We are talking about the god of gods here.” He winked at Veera. Before them, Io rendered a depiction of the system’s star, complete with coronal ejections and sunspots. The Cauthan’s eyes grew wide at the fireball. “Seil is actually a colossal furnace, a ball of burning gas that provides light and energy to the planet. In its core, the building blocks of life are formed, everything you need to make a human being, or a Cauthan, or a planet.” Winters explained.

“Wow…that’s…wow. You know, I think I find Seil even more impressive like this; certainly more so than just thinking of him as a little ball of light in the sky.” She said happily. Winters nodded at her. I suppose that’s one way to look at it. Certainly preferable to stabbing me for heresy. He considered. “So…how big is this thing exactly?” Veera asked. Io immediately rendered Mara next to the star. Veera squinted before mouthing ‘wow’ again. “So that means it’s really far away, right?” She inquired.

‘She’s a natural sir. You’re a pleasure to teach Veera.’ Io’s voice spoke to her through the translator. The Cauthan’s feathers swelled with pride as the projection shifted again. It now depicted a model of Veera’s solar system, complete with Mara performing circuits around Seil. Veera took in the new sights, making the connection between Mara’s daily rotation and the day/night cycles of the planet.

“What you’re looking at is called a solar system; or star system if you want to be more general.” Winters informed her, pointing to Mara. “Each time Mara completes a revolution around your star, that’s one year. When you’re out here, it’s winter. And over here is when summer occurs.” He explained, indicating how the tilt of the planet affected the seasons. Veera drew closer still, sitting directly to Winters’ right. “Now this is where it’s going to get a little…scary…I guess.” He looked at Veera. “Seil, while he’s certainly special to you and your people and planet, is only one of billions of stars.”

“What is that word, billion? Is it a number?” Veera asked. Winters realized the Cauthan likely had no need to count that high.

“Maybe it’s better if I show you. Io, Milky Way please.” The hologram shifted again and Veera’s mouth dropped open.

“It’s beautiful Russell. What in the name of the gods is that?” She looked on with wonder.

“That is the Milky Way Galaxy Veera. A galaxy is a large collection of stars that eventually distribute themselves like so. It might be hard to wrap your head around, but it’s based on the same force that causes Mara to orbit Seil; the same force that keeps us grounded here instead of falling off the face of the planet and into space.” He explained.

“Wait…space? You mean the area in between?” Veera pointed to the area outside the galaxy. “What’s that made of?” Winters’ expression darkened.

“Nothing. It’s a cold, dark, void. There’s no air to breathe, no heat to warm you…I suppose you could call it Kel.” He ventured, seeing fear on Veera’s face for the first time since the lesson had begun. She waited for him to continue.

“So we were talking about Seil, right? Seil is a star, same as all the others in the night sky. It just happens to be your star. This,” He gestured to the galaxy. “This is made of billions of stars. Some are like Seil, including my own, Sol. Some are massive and can be blue or red. Others are much smaller and give off white light or very little light at all. At the very center of the galaxy is a massive body that we call a black hole. It’s what happens when a sufficiently large star dies and collapses on itself. It creates…it creates an insatiable void that sucks in everything around it, even light. Geez, I suppose when I put it that way, Kel sounds way more impressive.” Winters admitted, bringing his right hand up to scratch the stubble on his chin. Veera was shaking now. Winters had to admit that even he was a bit unnerved by the idea of a god manifesting as a black hole.

“Please tell me we’re somewhere far away from the death maw?” She pleaded.

“We are, don’t worry. Io, can you highlight Sol and Seil please?” A green and red marker appeared in the galactic arm that was home to humanity and the Cauthan. Seeing how far they were from the galactic center seemed to mollify Veera a bit.

“So…is this the universe then?” She asked hesitantly. “How far does it go?” Veera’s onyx ear piercings glinted in the firelight as she looked the question at Winters. He wondered when she’d gotten so close to him. Thinking of how best to describe the universe, he drew up a memory from his childhood, a trip he’d taken with his parents to New York City.

“Io, can we make our own powers of ten exhibit here, like the one at the Natural History Museum?”

‘Of course sir, where shall we start?’

“Let’s start with Earth and head out.”

‘Very good sir, initializing.’ A slowly rotating model of Earth appeared above Winters’ wrist. Veera’s curiosity took hold again and she made a gesture as if to cup the verdant orb in her palm.

“That’s my home world.” Winters explained wistfully, wondering if he would ever see it again. “Let’s zoom out Io, and I’ll explain things along the way.” Veera nodded, and the image of Earth began to shrink. As they retreated, Winters pointed out various astronomical bodies.

“So that there is our moon, Luna. We only have one. It was formed when a smaller planet slammed into the earth. The collision ejected a bunch of rock into orbit around the Earth and that became the moon. Maybe one or both of yours were formed that way? As we keep going out you’ll eventually see all the planets of our solar system as well as our star, Sol.” Veera’s eyes went wide again as the entire solar system shrank into the starry background and Winters pointed out the Oort cloud and Kuiper belt, giving brief explanations of each. The Voyager Probe popped up and Winters promised to return to that at another time. As they went on they passed stars and nebulae, eventually arriving back at the Milky Way. This time though, Io didn’t stop. Andromeda came next and eventually the Local Group of galaxies, the Virgo Supercluster, the Laniakea Supercluster, and eventually the entirety of the visible universe was shown along with the cosmic microwave background. “We don’t know what lies beyond this barrier.” Winters indicated the 13.7 billion light year mark. “If there is more universe out there, we’ll never see it, or even be able to infer anything about it. At least, not given the current state of human technology. Light from the very beginning of time would just be reaching us now.” He explained, stopping as he realized Veera had become unmoving and silent. Her eyes were still wide, but the spark was gone. Instead he saw a mixture of dread and sorrow. A heavy feeling settled in below his stomach.

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“I feel…cold.” Veera whispered, drawing up her knees and burying her head in her hands. “I feel cold and small and empty.” Winters had thought she’d taken the knowledge of celestial bodies and their perfectly non-divine nature very well. That had clearly not carried over to learning about just how much ‘Kel’ there was in the universe. Before that moment Veera’s world, minus Winters of course, had consisted of dozens or hundreds of square miles. Now, in less than an hour, it had extended to encompass the entire known universe, and all of the void. She hadn’t felt so alone since the day she’d accepted the fact that her father was not going to return to her. She didn’t want to cry, but she couldn’t help it. As she sniffed and drew in a shuddering breath, Winters leaned towards her. Opening his right arm, he brought it around her shoulder and drew her to his side. She leaned into him without question, clearing her throat.

“How can you stand it?” She forced the words through the tightness she felt. “How do you live when it means nothing?” Winters’ brow furrowed.

“Veera, listen to me. There is always meaning to life. The universe is big, cold, cruel, and uncaring. But if you fight hard enough, long enough, and are willing to suffer its slings and arrows…you can carve out your own little corner and make it bend to your will. You can find happiness for yourself and for those around you. Your little corner can be small, warm, kind, and loving. It can be a temporary triumph of order against entropy. Me? I decided to become a HEL Jumper; a certifiable idiot who jumps through a planet’s atmosphere in a metal death trap, armed and armored to the teeth, and tries to save everyone he can when he hits ground. And that’s how I met you.”

She turned to look up at him, wiping the tears from her eyes. He looked strong and comforting, but somehow sad. She swallowed and nodded to him, feeling the emptiness in her chest slowly burn away as they held eye contact. “Please, tell me your story.” With a deep breath, he nodded.

“Io, ready all data you have on the Lancer…including crew.”

‘Yes sir.’ Io held a professional tone, but said nothing more. An image of Winters’ old ship materialized. It was sleek, like an elongated arrowhead that had been rotated on its main axis and then flattened so as not to be cylindrical. Veera had faced the unknown with courage, and he owed this to her. He would try to face his demons. Winters steeled himself and began his tale.

“When humanity learned that we weren’t alone, it became a top priority to never be surprised again. We lucked out with the Ghaelen, but if there was one sentient spacefaring species out there, we couldn’t take the chance that there wouldn’t be others…others who would bring war instead of peace. That’s why my branch of the Human Expeditionary League was formed, Omega branch. We’re scouts, tasked with mapping the unknown frontier of star systems that surround our home. Along the way, we look for new species of life, map unique planets and stars, and hopefully locate uninhabited planets suitable for human colonization or rich in resources.” Io minimized the model of the Lancer, replacing it with the galactic arm and highlighting the Sol system. “This was our first mission, my first taste of combat.” A blue line appeared, connecting nine stars that formed a loop beginning and ending at Sol. “At the end of that mission I was promoted to First Lieutenant.” He closed his eyes tightly and took a moment. “And Jessica Yang was promoted from Commander to Captain, assuming command of the Lancer.” Io had created a photographic crew manifest, highlighting two of the images. Veera peered closely, immediately picking out Winters’ face before focusing on the other, a human female with dark hair cut just below her jawline. It was hard to make out too much else given the size of the image but there was no doubt in Veera’s mind, this was ‘Jess’.

“Following shore leave, we departed Earth again, taking a new route out along the galactic arm.” Io drew another line in red, this one hopping from star to star before ending at Seil. A pulsing red X marked the location. “This was to be our final jump before we turned back for home. We chose this star because of its similarity to our own, and because it had at least one planet in a decent position to potentially support life. We hoped that we could find another colonization target. Obviously, with your people here Veera, that won’t be happening. Don’t worry; there are plenty of worlds out there.” Veera nodded, remembering just how many stars she’d seen in the galaxy. Anxiousness and fear pulled at her gut. She knew that there couldn’t be much left to this tale.

“When we arrived in this system, something went wrong. I still don’t know what, but for whatever reason, we came in far too close to your star, Seil.” Winters explained as Io zoomed back into the system, showing the star with a small red indicator for the Lancer. Io played the simulation forward. “Our power core was fluctuating wildly. That’s the part of the ship that allows us to travel these long distances in such a short amount of time. Hopefully that gives you an idea of how much power this thing was packing.” Veera nodded silently, noting the growing strain in Winters’ voice. “Even our best technician couldn’t stop it.” Shifty’s portrait was highlighted. “He’s the one responsible for writing the program that allowed me to unshackle Io.”

“He must have been very intelligent.” Veera tried to offer what little comfort she could.

“He was, and a great practical joker to boot.” Winters gave her a pained smile back. He was beginning to feel cold shivers along the muscles of his ribcage. “But in the end he wasn’t able to bring the core under control. The Captain ordered all hands to escape pods. She…” He drew in a ragged breath, feeling the burning salt of tears in his eyes. “She stayed behind in an attempt to control the core, to give us more time to escape. We…we spoke then for the last time.” He hung his head in silence, withdrawing his arm from Veera’s shoulder. He could feel the hot tracks the tears left on his cheeks before they turned cold in the air. A recording began to play.

‘I’m sorry sir, but I believe this is for the best.’ Io whispered. Veera was listening with rapt attention as an unfamiliar voice began speaking. Her eyes were locked on the human next to her as his chest rose and fell in uneven breaths. She could see sweat dripping from his brow.

Good. You’re ready to drop?

Not until you’re in a pod I’m not. What’s the situation up there? Is there even anywhere for me to drop?

It’s not good. Shifty’s doing the best he can but the power spikes from the core keep getting worse.

Then get out of there Jess!

You know I can’t do that Rusty. Not yet. Not while there’s still a chance. For now, I’ve aimed us straight at the world located in the star’s habitable zone. We’re far enough from the star now and I’ve been able to devote all spare power to thrusters. Even if you and the others had to launch now, you’d probably make it via inertia if nothing else.

I notice you didn’t include yourself among this merry band that’s fleeing ship…

Damnit Rusty that’s not the point and you know it! I don’t have time for- Go ahead Shifty. Another unfamiliar voice, this one male, reached Veera’s ear.

There’s nothing more I can do sir, I think…I think…

Get out of there now Shifty. Transfer remote control to me. All hands, escape pods. Now!

Why aren’t you evacuating too Jess? Let the automated subroutines handle this. It’ll buy enough time for you to…

It might. It might not. It’s not a risk I can take. If you’re wrong, we all die.

Jess, that’s not…please!

Rusty, take your helmet off. I’d like to see you. There was a pregnant pause, one that left Veera feeling extraordinarily uncomfortable, like an intruder in her own home.

Thank you, Russell. Thank you for everything. I’ve never had so much fun breaking regulations before.

Yeah, that one time in the mess hall back in basic? And then after they promoted you? Boy that was close. Jess, you don’t have to do this. You don’t.

Yes, I do Rusty. I want you to launch in fifteen seconds. We should be close enough for you and the others to make landfall.

I love you Jess. You know that right? I love you so please-

Veera inhaled sharply and felt her chest tighten. Jess wasn’t just Russell’s friend; she wasn’t just his commander. He’d said it himself, just now. They were lovers, they had been mated. Her body temperature rose and her breathing became shallow. This was wrong. Listening to this was wrong. Why was Io doing this?

I know you do Rusty. I know. And I love you too. These are your final orders. You will launch your pod. You will make planetfall. You will survive. You will return to the fleet. And you will find out what happened here. Is that clear? Put your helmet on soldier.

“Sir, I will sir. I’ll miss you sir.” Winters whispered into the silence as the playback ceased, giving up all resistance and letting his tears flow freely. Veera’s attention was drawn back to the projection as dots began moving away from the Lancer, which was flashing red. There were a few green ones and one blue. Shortly thereafter the Lancer vanished, replaced by a flashing X and a red disc that began expanding outward. A second X covered Jessica’s portrait. Another few seconds and the disc had enveloped the green dots. They vanished as well. Every portrait save Winters’ was marked with an X. Veera gasped softly; hand over her mouth, as she realized what she’d just seen. She snapped her head to the left to see Winters’ shoulders shaking, his head leaning against his right forearm. Small wet circles marked the ground beneath him. He dropped his left hand to the floor and the projection vanished, leaving only the dying fire. A soft voice spoke into Veera’s ear.

‘Don’t hurt him, please.’

Blinking away her own tears, Veera knew without thinking what she had to do. Cauthan customs and decency be damned, it was Seil who had killed those humans, Winters’ comrades. Turning on her knees she leaned in and draped her arms around Winters’ neck, resting her head just behind his right ear. The trust he’d shown her that day weighed heavy and warm in her chest. She decided she would happily bear that weight. She would remain as long as he needed, imagining for the first time that perhaps he had need of her; just as she knew that she was coming to depend upon him. She whispered to him, heart filling with purpose. “Thank you Russell.”