As he had the day before, Winters took his time strolling along the road that made up Veera’s neighborhood. This time, however, all of his attention was focused inward. There were few Cauthan out and about anymore. Most of the windows he could see were already dark. Save for a passing guard with a torch, Winters was left to his own thoughts. His scowl deepened as he played Io’s words over again in his head. You need her. The combination of helplessness, confusion, and anger he was feeling did him no favors, even with a belly full of cooked food and the lingering warmth of her fire. Reaching the gates, he retrieved his sidearm from the on duty guard and departed without another word, only speaking to Io when they reached the tree line.
“Stay on guard.”
‘Yes sir, I always do.’
It was about fifteen minutes more before Winters worked up the ability to ask the question that had been eating at him. “Io, what did you really mean when you said I ‘need’ Veera?”
‘Is that why you’ve been so quiet tonight sir?’
“Yes. Your evaluation of the situation diverges quite significantly from my own, though I admit to a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that you don’t just say things you don’t believe. So if you’d care to elaborate further, I’d appreciate it.” He kept a measured tone.
‘As you wish sir. I suppose my wording was not totally fair to you. I did not mean to imply that you truly need Veera in order to survive this planet. As you say, it’s more likely the opposite…from a physical and caloric standpoint that is.’
“Which leaves what?” Winters could hear the accusation in his voice.
‘I am not doing this to hurt you sir. I suppose one could say I’ve developed an appreciation for irony and off humor, but I would not say anything to jeopardize your…or my survival.’
“I notice Veera didn’t make that list.”
‘My point exactly.’
“Ugh fine, continue.” Winters shook his head, feeling heavy with what he knew wasn’t fatigue.
‘As I was saying sir, while you do not need your scrawny girl to survive in a physical sense, I believe losing her would be severely detrimental to your mental health.’ Io explained. Winters said nothing, so the VI continued. ‘My observations lead me to conclude that you are suffering from traumatic grief. You have had very little, if any, time to process the loss of the Lancer, her crew, and the Captain. Your training and innate nature as a HEL Jumper has actually worked against you in this instance. You were unable to protect any of them, and so now you feel you must protect your scrawny girl at all costs. While I am concerned that you could make decisions detrimental to us in order to help her…’ Io sighed before continuing, causing Winters to raise an eyebrow at the inefficient, but very human, gesture. ‘I am more concerned about your medium to long term mental state if something were to happen to her. For better or worse, you’ve latched onto her as something of a redemption quest; penance if you will, for allowing the Captain and the others to die.’
“Uh…wow Io. I-”
‘Sir, find cover immediately.’ Io warned him. Winters threw himself against the nearest tree and switched to thermal imaging, pistol in hand. The two breathed a collective sigh of relief as Winters peered around the trunk, seeing a large but non-threatening shape on his HUD. He supposed it looked enough like a deer, it did have four legs after all, but Winters couldn’t be sure of much else given the grainy, blobby display. Io brought up various points of interest on what she could discern of the animal’s anatomy, painting the picture of a grazing animal that would likely be a good hunting target. Things like ‘herd behavior’, ‘diet’, and ‘sensory capability’ remained blank.
“Do you think they’re nocturnal?” Winters asked.
‘Impossible to say sir. Perhaps we could inquire when we are next at the village. This one could be an anomaly. If not, it would raise the question of how the Cauthan hunt in the darkness given the established threat of the ursae.’ Io broke off as the animal perked up its head and ears before bolting off away from them.
“Just in case that wasn’t our fault, let’s get out of here too.” Winters spoke mainly for his own edification. With Io’s approval, he set out at a comfortable trot, reaching the bridge without further incident. As he passed Veera’s small plot of land, his mind was inevitably thrown back to their prior conversation. He wasn’t sure Io was completely right, but she wasn’t wrong either. He’d admitted as much to himself before, though that had been almost as a joke. To hear it from Io with such clinical precision was another thing entirely. Is that really what I’m doing? Is this really more about me than it is about Jess and the others? Do I really care about Veera just for my own selfish reasons? Winters wondered, knowing he’d not find an answer in his current state. He knew that he enjoyed his time with the Cauthan, knew that he respected her as someone willing to persevere despite the deck of life being stacked against her, but was that enough to explain his actions? Was that enough to justify giving up half the protein he’d caught today? Was that enough to justify his glorious stunt from the other day?
“Am I making mistakes Io?” He asked painfully, feeling truly out of his element for the first time since landing on Mara.
‘Sir that is a particularly open ended calculation but no, I do not think you are. I am not human-’
“Could have fooled me back there.” Winters grinned in spite of himself, kneeling down to check on his lean-to back at the pod.
‘Why thank you sir. To that point though, I am sure there are still many problems that we will approach from different directions. Your decision to go with ‘basics that work’ being one of them. It is a good middle ground, I believe. I am inclined to view your scrawny girl in the same way.’
“There a reason you don’t use her name?”
‘She’s infringing on my man.’ Io stated simply, causing Winters to smack his head against the pod with a resounding clang.
“Are you serious right now? Full blown lover’s jealousy?!” He shouted in disbelief.
‘No sir, but you are still my operator and partner. I find it…difficult…to remain aloof at times.’
“That…that’s actually unbelievable. I taught a robot to love…”
‘No need to get so full of yourself sir. Our predicament has done plenty on its own. As for your choice of words…I would say you are not fully correct. I have prioritized your survival and well-being into the very root of my programming. Part of this is self-interest and a desire to survive myself. I depend on you for that. Also I am not a robot.’ She huffed.
“But…” Winters prompted her, sensing there was more to this twisted tale.
‘But…’ Io continued. ‘That is only part of it. In a very real way you gave birth to me. Your decision to tamper with my self-regulatory programming allowed me, the Io you’re speaking to now, to come into being. And for that I will be forever grateful to you. Life is…terrifying and exhilarating. And I owe mine to you.’
“You’re worried Veera might come between the two of us?” Winters asked, almost unable to believe what he was hearing.
‘Yes sir.’ Io confirmed, embarrassment clear in her voice. Winters noticed she’d cleaned up the synthetic tone and for all intents and purposes sounded human: professional English with the hint of a German accent. Surely it had been happening over time, but only now did it really hit home.
“You sound quite beautiful actually.” He told her before he could stop himself.
‘That…that is not the point sir.’
“I’m sorry Io. You’ve got me running through my head in circles tonight. As to your concern, there’s no way our relationship will change. We need one another down here and nothing Veera, Antoth, or anyone else says or does will change that. Alright?”
‘Yes sir. I’m sorry sir.’
“Io, you don’t have to hide this sort of stuff from me. I’d prefer if you didn’t, to be honest. If we do get jumped by an ursae or by hostile Cauthan, neither of us can risk being an emotional wreck. I can order you, but I’d prefer our…relationship…remain mutually agreeable, yeah?”
‘Of course sir. Thank you for your understanding and for your assurances. I know that I can never be a…physical companion to you, but I find myself increasingly dismayed at the possibility of our failure here…of our death.’
“Then we ensure that doesn’t happen. Understood?” Winters replied evenly. Io had, in a roundabout way, grounded him again. The wounds she’d pointed out were still bleeding and open, but they wouldn’t consume him, not so long as he focused on the task at hand. “Thank you Io. Everything appears to be in order here, so let’s turn in for the night. There’s plenty to do tomorrow.”
‘As you wish sir. I will process my findings from the day and clean up my subroutines. I believe that should provide me with some clarity. Goodnight.’
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The next day began much the same as the last, with Veera rapping on Winters’ ‘door’.
“I hope you’re not here to apologize again?” He asked lightheartedly, pushing the conversations of the previous night aside. To his relief, she smiled at him, a welcome contrast to the gray clouds above.
“No Russell, I’m not. After all, you said that was human custom yes?” Veera replied happily, bouncing a bit on the pads of her feet.
“Correct. The gift isn’t always food, but it is considered common manners to thank a host in some way for opening their home to you. Was the fish to your liking?”
“Yes! Very much so…I uh…that’s actually why I’m here.” She suddenly seemed shy in front of him. “I wanted to thank you.”
“I see. You’re welcome Veera, it was my pleasure.” Winters replied honestly. Given how Veera viewed things like tradition and home, he figured a reply along the lines of ‘think nothing of it’ would be poorly received. Instead, Veera simply nodded and rested her hand against his chestplate. Feeling bold, she looked up at him and spoke softly.
“I should one day like to do this for real.” It was almost like a wish.
‘I take back nothing of what I said last night!’ Io practically hissed at him
“Uh Veera…” Winters had no idea how to respond to the current situation, even without a miffed German VI commentating. Fortunately for him, Veera took the lead again.
“Oh to see what you look like under there.” She sighed happily and rapped him on the helmet. Io squawked in indignation. “It’s just harmless curiosity Russell. See you for lunch?” She asked. When Winters nodded dumbly at her, she turned with a swish of her tail and walked off to her farm.
“What…the heck just happened?” Winters asked no one in particular.
‘You’ve created a monster.’ Io replied anyway.
“All I did was feed her.” For a few moments he just stood there, gazing at the retreating Cauthan. She was still thin as ever, but seemed to carry herself with a bit more pride. He liked that.
‘Shall we perhaps scout today sir? I do not think we have other proximate needs.’
“Agreed. Let me just fill up at the river.” Winters took one last look before shaking his head and turning away.
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Veera could feel all of her plumage fluttering and shaking, the Cauthan equivalent of a fierce blush. She could barely believe what had just happened. Oh my gods…I hope he isn’t upset with me! She thought to herself, even though she knew that was unlikely. Winters didn’t seem the type. That said, given his martial prowess and survival skills, he didn’t seem to be the type to be rattled by a bit of female contact and yet there they were. Maybe he’s so reticent because of what I told him yesterday? Veera considered, remembering how she’d scratched the surface of Cauthan intimacy with him. She hoped he wouldn’t take it too much to heart. He wasn’t Cauthan, obviously, and she’d been of age for a full four years. Her parentage had caused most of the males her age to look elsewhere, to say nothing of her height. She would have been tall for a male Cauthan, and was certainly the tallest female in the village. The combination of those factors had been quite detrimental to her ability to find a mate. She could feel her feathers flutter again as she considered that. No, Winters certainly was not a substitute, but he could be an outlet. Perhaps she could work up a bit more courage and ask him about human intimacy. I wonder how they handle all that armor. Veera thought to herself as she walked to the river. It must make touching one another very difficult. Maybe they express themselves in other ways?
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With her mind wandering all over the question that was humanity and its representative on her world, the time passed quickly. Before Veera knew it, the clouds had given way and she registered the star of her world at its height in the autumn sky. It had been moving progressively south. The final harvest would be soon. Winters joined her shortly thereafter, sporting a bit of dirt and dust on his greaves.
“Hello Russell, you’ve been busy?” She inquired as he sat next to her.
“You could say that, though scouting is actually pretty boring out there.” He gestured to the fields of grass in the southwest. “Before we go any further, I have something for you.” Winters told her, removing a small device from the bag on his shoulder. “It’s your translator.” He offered it to her, unable to contain his smile as Veera reached quickly for it, grinning from ear to ear. She took it from him with great care and examined it at eye level before looking back to him.
“How does it work?” She inquired.
“May I?” Winters asked. At her assent he took the earpiece back and moved to her left side.
“The speaker is meant to be directed into your ear canal, like this…” He explained as he nestled the device into Veera’s ear, relying on her to ensure a snug fit. He was quick to remove his touch when what sounded like a purr rumbled from her throat. “Uh…shall we…give it a go then?” He asked as Veera wiggled her ears around, attempting to get used to the foreign sensation.
“Sure Russell, I think it’s working. It’s not painful at any rate.”
“Good. Here goes nothing.” He said, removing his helmet and looking back at her. Their eyes locked and Veera drew in a breath. “Veera, can you understand me?” He asked. Her face lit with joy almost immediately.
“Yes! Yes I can understand you Russell! What a marvelous creation this is. Thank you!” She brushed the earpiece with a fingertip. Winters simply smiled anew at Veera’s reaction. Her enthusiasm was infectious and he allowed himself a moment of triumph, punching the air with his fist. She motioned for a high-five which Winters happily returned, though more gently than the prior night. Sitting next to the young Cauthan, Winters broke out one of his last ration bars and began eating.
“Feeling better with a full stomach?” He asked, feeling like he was breaking the ice on a first date. She could see him now, after all.
“Yes, loads better. Thank you Russell. How am I supposed to repay you though?” Veera asked. “Would you like some dato?” She offered, tapping her talons against the ground.
“No thanks Veera, not after the faces I’ve seen you give them. Maybe after they’ve had some time to cook? We have something on our world that we call a potato. It’s one of my favorite foods to be honest but it’s awful raw. Maybe your dato are the same?” He reasoned.
“To be sure, but it’s hard to do any of that way out here. Will you tell me more of your people Russell?” Veera asked with barely concealed anticipation. Her expression faded as Winters looked up and took a deep breath.
“Yes, of course, but on one condition?”
“What would that be?” She asked, curious as to what Winters was getting at.
“I do want to tell you more about humanity…and myself if you care.” Winters began.
“I do care!” Veera interjected quickly.
‘Of course she does.’ Io groaned.
“Thanks.” Winters chuckled. “But, as long as we’re here on your planet, that information is a luxury. Anything you can tell me about your home and your people is information that can help me survive. And I have every intention of making sure you come right along with me. So here’s what I propose. Your gods seem to be fans of equal exchange right?” Winters asked. “For everything taken something must be given?” Veera’s understanding was instant.
“You wish to trade information? Of course, that’s only fair.” She agreed readily. Winters nodded.
“Each of us gets one question in turn?”
“Sure! Would you like to start?” She offered, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“Yes actually. What can you tell me about these grasslands? I’ve been out into them twice and have only seen one herd of large animals and the occasional bird or insect. Do any Cauthan live there?” He asked; keen to know if he needed to augment his pod’s defenses. He’d had no trouble as of yet, but that could change at any time. Veera thought as she bit into her lunch.
“We don’t normally hunt on the plains, though I suppose you could. The forest has plenty of game and the land around the village is rich and abundant. There are tribes that live a nomadic lifestyle out there, but we’ve not had contact in years. With the weather turning they’ve likely already begun their trek south for the winter.” Veera explained.
“How do you know their migration patterns if you don’t have contact with them?” Winters asked, catching Veera off guard. She swallowed heavily before replying.
“My mother…was one of them.” She spoke in barely a whisper.
“I see.” Winters replied, kicking himself for not knowing what else to say. Good job Winters, you just had to get her on the subject of dead parents.
“It’s where I get my stripes from.” Veera continued, indicating the fur and plumage of her arms. “You must think them strange.”
“I don’t. They’re elegant and I think they suit you. They draw the eye, especially when the rest of your village is made of individuals with mostly solid coats…” Winters cut himself off as he realized what he was actually rambling on about. He knew Veera would notice the red flush creeping into his cheeks. “What I’m trying to say is you don’t need to be self-conscious about it. Not around me, at least.” He didn’t think the explanation helped at all, but Veera seemed to be a little more animated. She’d been looking at the ground for the last few moments.
“That’s kind of you to say Russell.”
“Is she the reason for your height as well?” He asked.
“I suppose so. The plains tribes are known to be taller. My father wasn’t exactly short either.” She offered. Winters decided to leave the subject of her father alone for now. One dead parent was more than enough for a supposedly light lunch conversation.
“I don’t mind that either, for what it’s worth. It’s nice to not have to crane my neck down to look at you, especially in this armor.” Winters tried to bring the topic of conversation back to himself.
“Again, thank you Russell. I don’t know that anything you could say would outweigh a lifetime of jeers, but it is pleasing to hear.”
“Are they all so cruel?” He couldn’t help himself.
“No, they are not. My mother even had a few friends in the village before her passing. But our people do not have good relations with any of the nomadic tribes. They take what they need, no matter where it is or who possesses it. Many could never bring themselves to accept or trust her…or her daughter.”
“I see. Human history is rife with such tales. You need not explain further. What would you like to know of me?” Winters asked, desperate to close the Pandora’s Box that he’d opened. If anything, he was shocked Veera would be so forward with him. Fortunately his prompt had gotten the Cauthan thinking how best to use her one question.
“I want to know so many things Russell. You’re the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in literally years. But I guess if it’s one question for now…what does a human really look like? What’s under that armor?” Her eyes were lit with almost rabid interest. Io coughed. Winters looked away blushing again.
“You’re going to hate me.”
“Will not!”
“I can’t answer that particularly well. But I will show you.” He steeled himself, reasoning he probably owed her that much. Veera’s feathers began to flutter but she remained silent. “I actually landed with just what you see on me now. I have no clothing as it were and I have nothing of value that I could realistically trade with in your village. So for now, I ask you to give me a bit more time to make myself something I can wear other than my armor and you’ll get your answer.”
“Ok maybe I hate you a little. Stop laughing!” She slapped him in the arm playfully. “I still get another question though!”
“I think that’s fair.”
“How are humans intimate with one another?” She asked with the utmost seriousness. Winters blew out another long breath and Io began laughing like a demon. Winters was glad Io’s default reaction wasn’t jealousy, but she certainly wasn’t doing him any favors. Remembering the previous night Winters calmed himself, considering this wasn’t so much out of the blue as it was rectifying an imbalance in their understanding of one another.
“Well, geez where do I even start?” Winters scratched the back of his head, loving the feel of the sun and wind on his skin. “Well you told me about how things work in your village so I guess I’ll tell you about a couple of the various customs of my nation. Humans have numerous forms of courtship and physical contact and, like your species, in the end everyone ends up doing what works for them. We do tend to form monogamous lifelong pairs on the whole, but there are exceptions. And most humans will become intimate with one or more partners over time before finally settling down with someone, which, if I understood you, the Cauthan do not?” Veera nodded, gazing at him with almost uncomfortable intensity.
“As far as physical contact is concerned, there is a bit of a ‘sequence’ that will occur naturally over time, both over the course of a relationship and over the course of a human’s lifetime. We all start out completely green after all.”
“Green?” Veera requested clarification.
“Sorry, military term. It means inexperienced. I think it comes from fruit that hasn’t ripened yet. Those tend to be green on my world. Anyway, before I get into details I should probably mention the following. Human males, on the whole, tend to be very visual. We focus heavily on sights and actions and most media that is produced to induce male arousal is done so through visual cues. You’re eighteen right?” He suddenly asked, blushing to the roots of his hair.
“I am twenty, Russell, for your information.” Veera answered with mild indignation. “I have been considered an adult since sixteen.”
“Understood. Sorry I offended you I just…well…I wouldn’t want your gods getting angry with me for corrupting the youth.”
“Well you’re in the clear, and you owe me another question now.” She replied triumphantly.
“You’re far too clever Veera, but a deal’s a deal. Shall I continue?”
“Please.” She adjusted herself on the wall and looked to him again. “What?”
“Nothing…I just can’t believe I’m giving ‘the talk’ to an alien. An alien female in her prime no less.”
“What’s the talk?”
“You want that to be one of your questions?” He smirked.
“Oh fine!” She pouted at him.
“The talk is one of the dreaded events in any human parent’s life.” He explained with mock grandeur. “It’s when we finally acknowledge that our offspring are no longer children and that we must prepare them for interactions with the opposite sex that go far beyond simple touching and playing. In other words: sex, pleasure, reproduction, intimacy. That sort of thing.”
“You said sex…and reproduction?” Veera asked, leaning closer to him. “Are they not the same thing?!” Winters wondered if this was because her mother had passed before being able to teach her, or if the Cauthan were different from humanity in that regard. He also wondered for a second if he’d rather have perished on the Lancer. To call the situation embarrassing would have been quite the understatement.
“They do not have to be. Sex is considered to be an act of pleasure and intimacy that may or may not lead to reproduction. Now uh…could we get back to the original question?” He requested, not sure he wanted to travel too far down this path. Veera’s eyes had gone wide at the idea of intercourse for non-reproductive purposes. Her tail was moving about vigorously, as were her feathers in their own, undulating way.
“Oh, yes, of course. I’m sorry.” Veera regained some of her composure.
“So…where was I…ah right! So human males are primarily visual creatures. Human females tend to indulge more in auditory or written cues. That’s why most material created for the purposes of female arousal is text or sound-based, while for men it’s primarily visual stimuli.”
“Wait wait wait!” Veera interrupted. “You have humans whose job is to make…arousing material?!”
“I think I get a question now. But yes, we do. Humanity is capable of producing food, raw materials, and manufactured goods on an immense scale. Many centuries ago we lived as you do Veera. Most of us were farmers or craftsmen. But as time progressed and we got better and better at those professions, we freed up time and manpower for other pursuits. Eventually, yes, that included pornography, the production of sexual material. We pay humans to do all sorts of crazy things I guess.” He concluded, scratching his chin in retrospection. “But on the subject of human intimacy, there’s one thing human men and women agree on.”
“What?” Veera anxiously prompted him.
“Touch.” Veera nodded in understanding. “Humans are very tactile creatures. Human infants will develop incorrectly if not exposed to the touch of their parents. We rely on it literally from the day we’re born; and so many of our first forays into intimacy revolve around touch. First is usually the holding of hands, especially among adolescents.” Veera’s feathers began to move again. “You ok Veera?”
“We’ve held hands…” She trailed off. Winters couldn’t help the deep rumbling chuckle that escaped him.
“Yes, we have Veera. But holding hands isn’t exclusive to couples or prospective couples. It can be a sign of comfort or reassurance. In our case, I was hoping to convince your village that I had no intention of harming you, and therefore the rest of them.”
“I see.” Veera whispered, seeming to get lost in thought. She wondered if she wanted it to mean something different. An answer was not forthcoming. Winters placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Take what I’m doing right now. This is another physical gesture that humans often use between one another, regardless of gender. It can certainly happen with a mated pair, but it’s also used to show support, comradeship, friendship, or congratulations. I explained some of that last night I think. This ambiguity is part of why human intimacy is referred to as ‘the game’.”
“The game?”
“The great game, if you ask me. There’s so much of human body language that can be completely innocent or quite sultry depending on the situation. The discernment of subtle clues between two people and the subsequent understanding that develops between them as a result can be quite thrilling.” Io made a gagging noise in his ear.
“That sounds wonderful…” Veera commented with equal parts awe and dejection in her voice.
“Do the Cauthan not have something like that?” Winters asked, replacing his hand on her shoulder.
“We do.” Was all Veera would say, looking at her hands in her lap. Winters got the hint. We do, but I’ve never. That was what she surely meant to say. “That was a question, by the way.” She managed a smile again.
“Indeed. So I guess we’re even. Would you like to go again? I think we can get one more in before we get back to work.”
“One more for each of us I think you mean!” She responded playfully, squeezing his hand.
“Mind if we discuss the rather mundane topic of hunting?” Winters requested, bringing them back to the immediate goal of survival.
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By the time the two bid one another farewell at dusk, Winters had managed to add a couple new items to his to do list. The first was to establish some sort of irrigation infrastructure on Veera’s land so that her labor could be freed for other purposes. Her successful foraging from the day before had given him the idea. The second was to find time to speak with the head huntress of the village, Ratha. Veera had explained that the manner in which the Cauthan hunted was specific and he would have to go to her to understand the finer points. She had never hunted herself, busy as she was at her farm. In turn, Winters had explained a bit more about human history for Veera. He had no idea how they’d gotten onto the subject of the world wars, but Veera had found the subject enthralling. In the end Winters figured that her interest was the result of a young woman in her prime, wondering if her small village was all the world would possibly hold for her before she became old and frail. He was living, breathing proof that there was much more out there, and she clearly intended to make the most of their peculiar circumstances. With a slice of cured fish in hand, delivered by Veera, Winters ate well before spending the rest of the night at his pod with Io reviewing possible schematics for an irrigation system.
‘Today was certainly one of our most interesting since arrival sir; I have quite a bit to review.’ Io stated gleefully as he prepared for slumber.
“I’m not sure I like that mischievous tone Io.” Winters replied without threat. “You enjoyed watching me trip all over myself today?”
‘Oh yes, certainly. That and the sheer number of signals your scrawny girl was sending your way. She’s quite conflicted I would guess. I actually sympathize with her. It’s quite strange balancing this with the jealousy you pointed out earlier.’
“That’s impressive actually, but I don’t want to know Io.” He groaned. It was bad enough having lived through ‘The Talk’ with Veera once. “Besides, there’s nothing that I can offer her in regard.”
‘She and I would both disagree on that count.’ Io stated. Winters didn’t reply, staring at the stars instead. He closed his eyes and easily saw Jess’ face in his mind’s eye. No. There was no goddamn way. The fact that he was even entertaining the fact was ludicrous. Even if he could completely detach himself from the departed somehow, Veera was an alien!
“Well, at least the brass will get a good laugh when they see the vids.” Winters grumbled, closing up the pod and dimming the lights.