Winter 10, Shimoth 4986

Lily tried to avoid spending too much time in her room in the weeks following the Winter Solstice. But the Guild seemed to be doing its best to make that as hard as possible. She didn't know if her frustration at being trapped in the tower was tainting her vision or if things really had gotten worse, but the days were anything but pleasant.

Where her instructor normally just sniffed when Lily failed to turn in her extra work, this time he veritably screamed at her in front of everyone, and sighted her lack of willingness to do the work as evidence of her inevitable fate of failing all three of her clearance exams. When he started accusing her of getting Han in trouble on purpose, Lily left the room, ditching the rest of the lecture and blocking out his yells as best she could as the door swung closed behind her.

Ranito started to pester her every day about giving more samples, and Bruce had even begged her to give three scales instead of the usual one. "Mage Ranito thinks he's close to a breakthrough, Lily. Please?" Reluctantly she agreed but put her foot down when they brought out a pair of scissors, asking if they could finally cut her hair. They didn't insist or force it, but they did do their best to try and guilt her into giving in. It didn't work, and Lily left Ranito's lab, smoldering at their underhanded efforts to coerce her into doing something she didn't want to do.

Even when the residents weren't being cruel, the tower itself seemed to be against her. As she read in the library, the magic lights went out. And it just had to be at a time when a blizzard blowing outside blacked out the windows, throwing the entire room into darkness. The librarian announced loudly over the tizzy that some experiment or other further up the tower must be interfering with the light devices.

Lily had solved the problem by lighting some floating fires over each table, and though they thanked her, it was only a half-hour or so before even her fires were snuffed out by some kind of spell or interference. She'd lit them again. And again, a half-hour after that. But when they went out once more, she apologized to the others but explained that she would be going to her room to finish her reading.

A full three weeks after the Winter Solstice incident, Lily still hadn't been let out of the tower or given any news on the exam. So when she saw Vevi in the basement, Lily greeted the Mage by saying, "You said I could take the exam whenever I wanted."

Vevi's smile faded, and the hand she'd started lifting in a cheerful wave drooped, "Almost, Lily."

Lily huffed and made to pass without another word when Vevi reached out and grabbed Lily's arm, saying, "To that end, we need you in one of the other practice rooms," she tried to smile again but Lily narrowed her eyes at the Mage then looked down at the hand still holding her arm. A ruby ring glittered on Vevi's finger and explained the woman's ability to hold on with Lily's frustration boiling just below her skin.

She shook the Mage off but nodded, following Vevi to one of the side rooms she'd been told were used for combat spells. The strangeness of the room was almost enough to distract Lily from her frustration. It seemed to stretch on forever into the distance, and the stone of the walls and floors were scared with black marks and melted patches.

Most of the council she'd met on her first full day waited for her there, and a quick scan showed that all of them wore fire resist rings. The apparent leader, with the receding hairline, cleared his throat and addressed Lily, "Good afternoon, m'dear. With your request to take the clearance exam, we realized that we have yet to gauge your power capabilities. We brought you here in the hopes that you could show us exactly what you can do."

The woman with the monotone voice gestured into the expanse of the room, "You may do anything you wish with your magic in this room. We would like you to do as much as you are capable of, enough to make you dizzy if possible. If you happen to pass out, all the better. Mage Vevi and Mage Han -as the two you clearly trust most- will see you safely to your room if you do."

Lily blinked at all of them, then at the room, then back to them, and tilting her head asked, "Anything? Anything that will make me tired?"

"The largest and hottest fire, or most complex, you can manage, please," Ranito answered, opening his ever-present notebook and preparing to write.

"Hmm..." Lily hummed, thinking hard as she stepped away from the senior Mages. They hadn't said that this was a direct part of her test, but that didn't mean she couldn't use it to try and get her point across for how much control she'd gained over the years of practice with the Warlocks.

Holding both hands straight out in front of her, Lily took a moment to breathe and relax, then sent a wall of fire out from her fingers to fill the width of the room and shoot an unseen distance down the length. "Something like this?" She shouted over the roar of the flames. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the Mages fall back a collective step despite their protective rings.

"I can make it hotter." She scrunched her face and focused, forcing more heat into the fire until it glowed nearly white. Something like this would make her dizzy. She could feel it already. "This really isn't practical, though," Lily shrugged, letting the fire cool just a bit so she could still appear relaxed, "It's a lot harder to control collateral damage like this."

"Very good, Lily!" the balding Mage shouted.

Lily sighed, hardly considering this a test of her abilities, but then she got an idea. Hadn't Ranito also said she could do something complex? She dropped one hand so she could turn to look at the Mages as she kept the fire going, "Do you want to see what I used to do to practice at my old tower?"

"Please!" Ranito called, writing furiously in his book without actually looking at the page.

With the first happy grin in weeks, Lily turned back to her fire and pulled it back in. Bringing it down to a small flame at her feet, she shaped it into the image of a rabbit and set it to hop around her as she turned back to fully face the Mages. Their eyes were wide in what Lily hoped was awe. Finding encouragement in that, she made four more bunnies to join the first.

"My treasures loved chasing these..." She didn't have to shout anymore, which was good because her voice faltered.

Vevi stepped forward, "That's amazing, Lily. You would make a great illusionist." Lily shrugged, looking away from them and down to her rabbits, thinking of her treasures.

"Your treasures?" the monotone woman asked, "Do you mean the other experiments?"

Lily nodded, and balding Mage asked, "Can you do that with them? Show us what they looked like?"

Oh, to see her treasures again... Lily brought the five rabbits together and reshaped them into the form of a great wolf whose head reached all the way to her ribs. In life, it had had silver fur, but Lily couldn't change the color of her fire, so now it looked orange and yellow. With a flick of her wrist, she created a second fire and had to concentrate to shape it without losing the first image. This one was a cat, just as large, and with scales that had been red.

"I can't do the colors..." Lily said, her shoulders slumping, "They glittered like metal and gems." She knelt, feeling drained but holding onto the fires with all her might, "There were at least ten or more at any one time, but they didn't live very long. They would breed them for the next generation, but they rarely lived past one litter... This one... he lived the longest and was the first."

The cat approached her just the way she remembered and Lily reached up to pat its face as it moved to headbutt her affectionately. But the fire wasn't solid, and her hand passed right through the flames.

The wolf faded into a regular fire then died. Just like the beast itself so many years ago. Lily's power pulled into her core as tears began to flow. She managed to hold the cat a little longer and tried to at least pretend to grab it by the scruff to hold it close before its flame retreated back into her heart.

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She crossed her arms over her chest and cried. "They were so beautiful. Like living treasures. And they loved me, I could tell. They only tolerated the others." Vevi came to rub her back, and Lily had to hold back actual sobs, "They were all I had, and I cared for them whenever they would let me out of my room. But I couldn't save them, I couldn't..." She choked, and Vevi wrapped her arms around Lily.

Lily leaned into the woman's embrace, "They wouldn't let me see them if I couldn't maintain control. So I practiced and practiced..."

"Her power goes inward with grief. That is a good sign for the exam," Ranito said clinically, as his pencil continued to scratch in his book.

"So we've accomplished two things today. Very well, if you can stand, you can go back to your room, miss Lily." balding man said.

Ranito interjected, "She may be able to do more. Go hotter. The tower was melted and..."

"Not now, Ranito," Vevi snapped over Lily's head.

Lily struggled to stand, and Vevi helped her up, "The images are harder than just making a hot fire..." Lily breathed, squeezing her eyes shut to try and banish the wash of dizziness that flooded her.

Vevi patted her gently and pulled her slowly towards the door, "I can imagine Lily. That's enough. Thank you so much."

"Can I take the exam now?" Lily asked as she hobbled out of the room.

"You already are, Lily. Soon... Soon..."

***

The Archmage of the Tarorn Mages Guild sat behind his desk, Battlemage Han and council member Mage Vevi seated before it. He ran his hand over his balding head and sighed, leaning back in his chair, "You say you've seen her happy and excited with no sign of a loss of control?" he asked the pair.

"I would say we've seen her ecstatic," Han answered, "She maintains control of her power even then."

"And we all saw her sad and grieving," Vevi supplied, "Her power goes inward in that case, not unusual, and there is no need for further testing in that regard."

Han cleared his throat, "We've seen her angry and frustrated. Honestly, I'm surprised she didn't try and toast the Paladin on purpose, let alone on accident, on Winter Solstice. She was so angry."

The Archmage sighed, "She certainly doesn't hold back her words when she's upset, but she does her magic. That means we only have one more thing to test." he leaned forward on his desk and ran his hand over his head again, "I've never seen someone pass their exam on their first try before."

"She's had years of practice. We just weren't around for it." Han reminded him.

"That's what worries me," the Archmage explained, "Even if she can control it, does she know how to use it appropriately?"

Vevi rolled her eyes, "I think she's shown that well enough in the weeks she's been with us. Even when she used it in the city, she didn't hurt anyone or damage anything, and only did it as a cause for good."

"That's more a worry for the Temple anyway, Archmage," Han added, "All we can do is be thorough in our report. The rest is up to her."

The Archmage sighed again, "So just one more test..."

***

The sun had set hours before, and Lily yawned, finishing her book and sighing in contentment at the resolution. She wondered if she would ever get to experience for real the events so many authors wrote about as if they were normal... easy.

She let her reading fire flicker out and shimmied under her blankets, wondering if anyone else felt like she did. Enjoying quiet time alone while still longing for company... She hugged her second pillow and tried to imagine it was a man, like in her books. Someone who would hold her as she slept and stroke her hair when she woke up after a nightmare. Someone who would remind her that she was strong enough to fight off her own demons but that he would be there to support her anyway. In her imagination, he had cold skin that soothed her heat and her fears...

Lily fell asleep with a sad smile, thinking of the possibilities and hoping she would dream of the real thing.

Her door creaked as it swung slowly open...

Lily woke with her heart pounding in her ears, not daring to move. It was just another nightmare... Slowly, her fingers trailed to her neck, feeling for the collar she sometimes swore was still there.

Something went over her head and tightened around her neck. Lily's eyes shot open only to see the black fabric of a bag. A cruel male voice whispered near her ear, "We've found you, Firewrym..."

Lily couldn't breathe, couldn't think. One thing dominated her mind. Never again.

The room lit up as she burned the bag off of her head and pulled one of the hands trying to pin it down up to her mouth, biting hard. The man fell away from her, his black robes doing nothing to hide him in the now bright room. Lily roared, and two more people in masks and robes slapped their hands over their ears, scrambling away as the floor itself burst into flames.

"Her eyes!" one called out in fear.

Lily hissed, standing on the bed and slashing her hand forward. A whip of fire trailed from her fingers to snap at one of the masks, "You'll have to kill me, and I'll take you and this entire tower with me if I have to. I'm never going back." She growled.

"Lily!" Vevi came crashing through the door, and the man Lily had bit grabbed Vevi around the neck, pinning her to the wall and drawing a dagger.

Lily roared again, the sound bestial. Her hair rose about her face in the heat waves of the room. "She is mine." The dagger melted in the man's hand, and he dropped it quickly while Vevi struggled.

Lily consolidated her fire on the two other attacker's robes, distracting them as they tried to beat the flames out. She couldn't risk burning Vevi or making too much smoke and choking her.

But the Mage wasn't completely helpless, she chanted as she struggled, finally throwing the man off and giving her enough space to finish the quick spell that sent a rainbow of light from her fingertips into his eyes.

He stumbled back, and Lily charged. Using the footwork she'd learned while sparring, she dodged between the others and slammed her elbow into the man's face, shattering the mask and sending him to the ground. Except...

"Antony?" Vevi asked in astonishment.

Lily didn't understand and couldn't see the man's face as he covered it with his hands and writhed on the ground. But if he was writhing, then he was alive, and if he was alive, then he could attack her again. She recognized the glint of ruby on his fingers and realized that was why the fire hadn't stopped them more thoroughly.

She jumped on him, straddling his chest and reaching for his throat, "Never again..." Lily squeezed.

"Lily, wait!" Vevi pulled on Lily's shoulders as hard as she could. The man uncovered his face to claw at the back of Lily's hands, and she finally recognized him. Mage Antony... the one who had stopped her from running when she'd first arrived at the Guild. He was a Warlock?

A shout rose above the clamor, "Enough!"

Cold washed over and into her. Lily's fires went out as the antimagic field expanded from one other attackers. The room went dark again, and Lily hissed, rolling off Antony and standing between Vevi and the others, braced to charge if necessary. Only then did she notice the shadow of a fourth intruder in the farthest corner... scribbling in a book.

"Enough, Lily," the balding Mage said again after removing his mask.

Lily didn't dare straighten, her heart pounding even harder. She struggled not to panic as the antimagic smothered her power like the ruby-studded collar from her childhood. Vevi didn't have that problem and pushed past Lily, snapping at the other Mages.

"This was part of the test? What in all the hells were you thinking?! Why didn't you tell me?! I would never have allowed..."

"Exactly," the other attacking mage interrupted Vevi, removing his mask to show a rather impressive neckbeard, "You are far too attached to her, Mage Vevi, and we needed to test her fear response."

Test? This was part of the clearance exam? Lily whimpered. She was tired and confused and angry and scared. She fell to her knees and begged, "Not this, not again... Give back my magic. Please..."

"Are you in control, Sorcerer?" the balding Mage asked, but behind him, Ranito snorted.

"Look around you, Archmage, she was in control the entire time."

Lily couldn't look around and instead clutched her neck, sure she would feel the sealing band there again and finding only skin. That only made it worse. She had nothing to remove.

However, Neckbeard Mage did look around, and breathed a gasp of surprise, whispering, "Everything's fine... just a little singed."

"And your antimagic put out ALL the fire." Vevi snapped, "Meaning she didn't light anything to burn naturally." she marched to the balding Mage, apparently the Archmage of the tower, and snarled in his face, "Drop the antimagic field. She's been through enough already."

The Archmage sighed, and something clicked closed. Lily gasped as her magic came flooding back. She swallowed and stuttered her next words, "Can... can I light the room? P... please?"

Vevi knelt before her and stroked her face with just the tips of her fingers. She wasn't wearing an anti-fire ring, "Of course, Lily. You did so so well..."

Lily cupped her hands in front of her and lit a small fire in her palms. Its flickering light danced over Vevi's worried face and allowed the others to see more clearly now that they didn't have to squint with only the hall light.

"Come on, Lily. I'll make you some tea in my room..." Vevi whispered, stepping back and risking Lily's heat to help her up by the elbow.

The Archmage cleared his throat, sounding embarrassed. "We will have your results in the next few days, Miss..."