Winter 4986, 33 Aoimoth
Shon was still sore after running to exhaustion the night before, and it was only going to get worse. After prayer, the boys weren't led to their lessons as usual. Instead, they were marched outside by Sir Selibra and directed towards the stables.
Shon smiled with the rest of the Squires, though he resisted the quiet cheers many gave as they made their way across the courtyard. For most of them, horsemanship was their favorite part of training. For Shon, it was a very close second.
As a Paladin, he'd known he would never be alone, Hengist would always be with him, but he'd been excited to learn that the knights all eventually gained a second companion, a divinely blessed warhorse that would be an extension of their mind and partner in battle.
Except... now he already had such a companion in Ryuuko... Because he was a Sorcerer... Glancing up at the pseudodragon Shon caught a glimpse of his new sword pommel over his left shoulder, swirling a dark navy blue.
Ryuuko twittered above him, hovering on the updrafts of a gentle breeze that blew some of the fresh snow up from the ground. The familiar wove back and forth over the boys' heads, and Shon could feel the little dragon's curiosity and excitement at this change in routine. He couldn't help but smile just a little broader. Though he couldn't tell if the joy was his own or the dragon's.
Ryuuko landed lightly on Shon's shoulder and he reached up to stroke it, finding the little dragon's head waiting for his hand. It rubbed along his palm, pressing its long neck into him and arching his back up like a cat. He'd already been working hard in his training, but now he felt he had to double his efforts. The pseudodragon was a reminder of what he was. The sword was a reminder that the Temple was vouching for his safety. He wouldn't let them down.
"Where are you going?" Lily's voice called from across the courtyard and the girl herself followed soon after, jogging behind the Squires as they filtered into the stables.
The Major General answered before any of the boys could, turning to block Lily's path as he did, "Today, they will be practicing mounted training. You may watch if you wish, but I don't want you in the stables."
"Why?" Lily looked crestfallen, "I've never seen horses up close before..."
Selibra didn't budge, shaking his head, "You can watch from outside the ring," he waved Master Daunas over but continued explaining to Lily, "Horses are spooked by smoke and fire, and though you appear to have control of your magic, you don't have your clearance. Master Daunas can show you to the practice ring."
Lily's lip jutted out in an exaggerated pout, and Shon sighed, flicking his eyes from Ryuuko to the disappointed Lily. With a sharp whistle, Ryuuko complied with his silent request, brushing Shon's hair with its wings as it swooped off to land on Lily's head. It rubbed her scaled cheek with its own until she finally giggled and accompanied Master Daunas around the other side of the fortress.
The Major General and three other Paladins followed the Squires into the stable, assigning them each a horse. It would be the boy's job to get them fully tacked and ready. The boys socialized as they worked, and Shon ignored them as usual until Zihler led his mare next to Shon's gelding and addressed him directly, "So, we get the most embarrassing lecture of our lives, and you immediately ditch practice to spend some alone time with the only girl in a fifty-mile radius?"
Shon glared over his saddle and, to his surprise, saw Zihler glaring back. He wasn't teasing, the Squire was genuinely annoyed. "It's not like that," Shon muttered, looking down to tighten the horse's girth and adjust the stirrups.
"Then what's it like? I don't get you, Shon. Do you like her or not? One minute you're offering to let her play with weapons, then the next, you're trying to pawn her off on one of us." Shon's head shot up again despite himself. He arched a very confused eyebrow at the Zihler, who continued ranting, "You spend all your free time with her, but you don't actually do anything different than you've always done."
"What do you expect him to do?" Baradin had started leading his mount past but stopped at the conversation he was overhearing.
Zihler rolled his eyes, ducking his head to work on his own stirrups, continuing, "I don't know, man. But after yesterday I expected something this morning. She was beaming like the sun at him, and he just brushed her off like always."
"I don't brush her off," Shon stated, for some reason feeling more annoyed than he should.
Finished with his saddle Zihler grabbed his reigns but snapped at Shon, "Well? Do you like her or not? Because some of us do, and your cold shoulder is starting to grate. It's not fair to lead her on if..."
"It doesn't matter." Shon snapped back to interrupt him. Some of the first-year boys looked over at the commotion and Shon glared until they looked down, then turned his icy stare back on Zihler, "I'm here to train, not pick up girls. Even if we were allowed, it's just a distraction."
"That's cold, man..." Rehlien muttered, stopping by the door with Baradin.
Zihler sneered at Shon's glare, "You can't tell me you've never rubbed one out. She's gorgeous."
"Don't be crude," Baradin groaned at Zihler, who rolled his eyes, which just pissed Shon off more.
Rounding both horses, Shon brought his face to within a handsbreadth from Zihler, the older boy tried to smirk, but his lip twitched nervously under Shon's glare, "This might be a game to you, but it isn't to me." Shon growled, "If you want to be a Paladin, stop thinking with your dick, and if you really want to impress Lily, then you should know she isn't 'playing with weapons.' She's training harder than half the Squires here. She didn't pick the staff because she wanted to train with me. She picked it because it's a weapon she thinks no one can take away from her. Because it's just a 'stick.'"
"Uh, Shon..." Thom called softly from behind, but Shon didn't break eye contact with Zihler. It had been evident from the beginning that he liked Lily, but if he wasn't going to take her seriously, he didn't deserve to shine her boots.
"She spent her life with next to nothing, and they would take what little she had with the snap of their fingers. Her animals, her books, and her magic. Everything. She's trying to build her life from scratch and become more than just an experiment. If you really like her, then stop thinking about how beautiful her smile is and start thinking about how you can help her keep it."
"Shon, your sword..." Rerves' voice came from beside Thom's, but Shon wasn't done yet.
"It doesn't matter if any of us like her. What matters is that we're here to be Paladins, and Paladins protect people like her. That means making sure she's strong enough to protect herself when we aren't around. Because she isn't going to stay here. She will leave to gods know where and then we will too, and I'll probably never see her again. It. Doesn't. Matter. What matters is that we work our hardest to be the best knights we can be. That's. It."
"Wow, I didn't know it changed color..." Kefir walked his horse around Thom and Rerves and stopped to stare at Shon, who finally looked away from Zihler. Following Kefir's eyes to his shoulder, Shon glanced up to see his sword had grown translucent and sky blue.
"Squires!" Sir Selibra barked from the saddle of his gray mare, "Fall in! Forth and third years, with me in the field. Second and first in the practice ring. Go."
Shon didn't look at Zihler or any of the others as he led his gelding out the back of the stables to the practice ring behind the fortress. He took deep, steadying breaths as he walked, reaching up to stroke the horse's neck. It didn't seem to mind his cold, so long as he didn't stay in one spot for too long.
He found comfort in its solid calm and strength. He had never lost his temper like that before. And in addition to being angry, he was now worried about the implications of his sealing gem changing color. What if it stopped working? No one had been shivering, so it obviously still was, but for how long?
"How pretty..." Lily's voice spoke from the side of the ring, and Shon nearly fell over as his horse sidestepped into him to get away from her. He stumbled forward to keep from falling down and being trampled, his horse pulling on the reigns nervously, continuing to circle around away from her.
Master Daunas pulled Lily back, and she looked concerned as more of the horses tugged at their reigns. "Come on, Missy, let's watch by the wall..." he pulled Lily away but glanced over his shoulder at the obviously stressed steeds.
The horses continued to shy away from the side of the ring where Lily and Daunas watched as the boys practiced. The first-years worked on the basic gaits and steering with their legs, while the second-years were instructed on the more advanced battle commands and staying seated while performing them. Outside the fortress, the third and fourth-years would be practicing mounted combat maneuvers. Eventually, Master Daunas left with Lily, back to the front of the fortress and probably to train there. The boys worked until eleventh bell, when they were finally dismissed to brush down their mounts.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
Shon avoided the third-years as they wearily led their horses back in through the front of the stable from their own drills. They would all be sore for the rest of the day and probably tomorrow from so much riding. Still, the practice was enjoyable enough that none really minded. Even if they complained in private.
There was a brief commotion by the door when Rehlien's mare reared in fear, pulling out of the Squire's hands and bolting into the stables straight to her stall. Shon furrowed his brow in confusion, then saw Lily beyond the door with her hands behind her back and her head down, backing slowly away from the stables.
Once they were finished, the Squires were dismissed for lunch and exited the stable to join Lily just as the noon bell began to ring. "They don't like me..." Lily whispered as the Squires approached.
"Don't be silly, Lily, everyone here likes you," Zihler called confidently, his smile wide and genuine.
Lily shook her head, hardly mollified, "The horses are afraid of me..."
Thom patted her gently and briefly on the back, "Maybe it's the fire... Horses don't like fire..." but warhorses were trained not to bolt at fire...
Shon didn't know what to say, but Zihler patted her on the top of the head and ruffled her hair, "It's okay, Lily, I like you enough for all of them." that at least made her smile, and she even giggled as Ryuuko snapped at Zihler's hand and waved its poison tail threateningly at him.
***
That night Shon decided to pray instead of study, and when the bell for the final break sounded, he exited the fortress for the courtyard. He expected to find Lily already outside, lighting the dark with her floating fires and spinning her borrowed staff in a dance of light and deceptively beautiful death.
She wasn't. Apart from the Paladins standing watch on the walls, the courtyard was deserted and dark.
Shon closed his eyes to adjust to the moonless gloom and took a deep breath of cold winter air, letting it re-energize his mind and invigorate his tired muscles. His confrontation with Zihler had plagued his thoughts for the rest of the day, and though he felt justified in his words, he regretted losing his temper. He felt more at ease after an hour of meditation and prayer but had sworn to think more critically of himself before snapping at his fellow Squires in future.
Sensing his intent, Ryuuko dropped from his shoulder and led the way by gliding towards the weapons racks. Shon continued to think as he followed. He couldn't blame Zihler for thinking he liked Lily. She really was beautiful, but that wasn't enough to truly like someone like that. Ryuuko landed on the handle of one of the hammers, and Shon reached for it. Lily was a good person, but that just made her a friend. It didn't need to go any further than that.
He took the hammer to the nearest sparring ring and worked through the weapon's form without the cumbersome armor. It felt sooo much better without it, and he really could see himself liking the weapon when he could move freely with its heavy swings.
He tried to focus on the form, but his mind continued to wander towards the other Squires. They all seemed to think he liked Lily as more than a friend, just because she was a girl. Sure, she was beautiful... and kind... and strong... and driven... and confident.
Shon saw her tear-streaked face again. Felt her cling to his shirt as she broke down over what she'd done. He managed to stop the hammer just before it slammed into the ground, but it was a close thing, and he had to shake his head to clear it. He was supposed to be focusing on his form. He started it again.
But his mind continued to wander. She wasn't only strong, she had a vulnerable side as well. One none of the others had seen. He'd wiped those tears from her cheeks. Felt the shift between her skin and scales. Felt the tightness in his chest ease as she finally stopped crying. But that was just because she was a friend. He would've felt the same if it had been Thom, or Rerves, or even Zihler...
"You look much more comfortable like that," Lily announced with a little giggle from outside the ring, and Shon nearly dropped the hammer. Ryuuko twittered happily, soaring over to nuzzle her cheek. Lily stroked the dragon absently and tilted her head at Shon, "Do you mind if I join you, or would you rather be alone?"
She'd asked... Lily didn't insist on interrupting him. Shon shook his head in answer, and Lily beamed, sprinting towards the weapons and her borrowed staff. She didn't insist on making him verbalize his answer either.
Lily took up position close enough to talk but didn't say anything more as she started her form. Shon resumed his own practice. When they worked like this, it was almost like he was still alone, but not, and unlike with the other Squires, the feeling was comfortable, even comforting, rather than awkward. Lily didn't shoot sideways glances at him or ask him nervous questions as though they were obligated to talk. With the others, it was like they knew he wanted to be alone, and they felt guilty for taking that away from him. With Lily, it was like she was enjoying her own alone time until she needed to say something and knew he wouldn't mind, or if he did, that he would tell her. It felt natural. Like this was the way things were supposed to be.
They continued their practice, repeating their forms a few times then moving on to making up some of their own as a way to mix things up. Alone, but together.
Lily didn't light any fires to illuminate the darkness, and as Shon took a moment to rest and rub out some of the stiffness in his thighs, he found himself staring at her as she danced in the silver light of the stars. He could almost hear music as she twisted and spun her staff through the turns. He watched her long enough that Ryuuko took advantage, landing on his sword and purring in his ear as the pseudodragon too watched her.
Lily sighed as she brought her improvised form to a close, then sat down on the ground and fell back to lay in the mud and melted snow.
"Lily?!" Dropping the hammer, Shon rushed to her side.
Before he could tell if she was alright, she giggled, "The stars are so beautiful." She pat the ground beside her, looking up at Shon and giggling again, probably at the look of confusion on his face, "At my tower, I could barely see them. I had to jump up and hang from the bars on my window, then twist my head as far as I could to see past the trees." She mimed the technique she'd used as she spoke, then pat the ground again. Shon took the hint, sitting down next to her. "Sorry for the mud. I wish I could lay in the snow, but it always melts," she shrugged, still flat on her back in the middle of the sparring ring.
"Your hair..." Shon mumbled stupidly. Ryuuko chittered at Lily and walked its way down Shon's arm and across his lap to his knee, avoiding the ground like it was afraid of getting mud on itself.
Lily laughed and shrugged again, "I'll wash it before bed," she explained but sat up, bringing her hair over her shoulder and brushing some of the mud off of it. Then she shifted, turning her back to him, and laid down again, her head on his lap beside Ryuuko.
Shon flinched in surprise and his heart pounded in his ears so hard he was sure she would be able to hear it. Lily just sighed, "Refreshing..." She opened her eyes, her pupils nearly round in the night, "You don't mind, do you? I can move."
Shon's voice caught in his throat, so he just shook his head, and Lily shifted her focus back up to the stars. "Sorry, I should've asked first."
"It's okay..." he finally managed to choke out. Ryuuko walked gingerly from Shon's knee to Lily's chest and down to her belly, where it curled into a purring ball of leather and scales.
Refreshing... She'd said it again. So she could definitely feel his cold even through his pants, "You really don't mind?" Shon whispered.
Lily grinned, "Of course not. I like it. It's refreshing. Especially after I've been working for a while." Shon didn't know what to say, so he let the silence stretch. She didn't seem to mind.
After a few more minutes, Lily said, "I suppose you're used to the stars," She stretched her hand up as though to grasp the heavens in her palm.
"They're still beautiful..." Shon answered, though he wasn't looking at the stars, "I don't think anyone could really get used to it."
"I hope not," Lily's focus shifted from the sky to his face again, "Like your eyes. They're beautiful too." Shon felt himself blush and finally looked away from her, leaning back on his hands to stare at the sky. But the move just made Lily giggle, "You don't think so?" She asked.
Shon shook his head and felt Lily shrug, "Well, I think they are." he snuck a glance back her way and saw her watching the sky again. "I really like this..." she whispered, "I feel relaxed with you... calm." Shon tried to swallow and failed. Calm was the last thing he could imagine feeling at the moment. And yet, he didn't want it to end. He could feel the heat of her skin like a constant radiating warmth, like standing near a campfire but concentrated in one spot.
Leaning his head back again, Shon took in a slow nervous breath, and focused on calming his heart until he could enjoy the moment as they watched the stars in companionable silence. It didn't take him as long as he expected to relax, and when the bells for bed broke the stillness of the night, they both sighed.
Their unified reaction made Shon smile, and Lily laugh again.
She rolled off his lap and stood with a hop. Brushing her hands off on her pants, she offered one to him, and though Shon was already halfway up, he took it, allowing her to pull him the rest of the way to his feet. They returned their weapons and walked to the fortress together.
They made it all the way to the third floor before Lily spoke again, "Thank you. For always letting me have some quiet time." She grinned, looking at the wall instead of him. A little pink flushed her cheeks, "I don't really like being alone with my thoughts most of the time, but I still like having some, I don't know, something like alone time... I don't want to feel like I have to talk to people just because they're there.
He didn't have to wonder about why she wouldn't like to be alone. It felt weird with anyone else, but with her... She'd been left in isolation frequently. It made sense that being alone would inspire bad memories.
She still wasn't looking at him, so Shon answered, "Anytime." Lily's dark blue eyes snapped to him, clearly slited in the well-lit hall as she beamed.
She stepped closer, and Ryuuko hopped from her shoulder to his. Slowly, Lily wrapped her arms around him in a loose hug, whispering in his ear again, "Thank you." Shon was too surprised to respond, and she stepped back before he could return the embrace, "Good night, Shon. I'll see you at breakfast."
He watched her walk away, and Ryuuko trilled in his ear as she rounded the corner and out of sight. Shon walked to his door and reached for the handle in a daze. He managed to get inside and sit at his desk before he dropped his head onto the wood and whispered, "Shit..."
He did like her... But it still didn't matter. It was only a matter of time before she would leave. And just as he'd let slip to Zihler... he would probably never see her again.