The 8th Amendment of the United States Constitution. "Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted." The last part there is the important one. "Cruel and unusual punishment".

One would argue that Apartment 207 violates this heavily. For breaking and entering, as well as armed threat, two gangsters were violently disintegrated and turned to ash. Simultaneously cruel and unusual. A fate worse than death, an indescribable one.

And when the third one's on the doorstep, about to enter to join them, the security system is disabled. Not meeting the same fate as the door opens, as the gangster storms in and pulls a gun out.

"Alright! You're gonna pay, you-!"

Immediately, Papaya catches the man off guard by whacking his elbow with a metal baton, causing him to drop the gun in pain. Eyes wide at this, gazing down at the girl and seeing her whack his ankle next with the baton.

Following this, a man's boot is raised in the air, the gangster's jawline decked by the tip of Caspian's shoe. Solid ice built up around the foot, smashing into his jaw, recoiling back and wincing in absolute pain.

The gangster stumbles back against Quade, head bumping against his chest. Quade grabbing the man by the shoulders before locking him into a chokehold. With this, Rosemary lunges forward and puffs an aggressive amount of gas into the gangster's face, completely disorienting the man and causing him to go unconscious.

Quade carries the gangster in, closing the door shut.

"... alright, good work, everyone," Papaya speaks up, wiping her forehead. "When he wakes up, let's get him talkin'."

"Sounds-" Quade coughs a bit as his hand fans away the lingering gas. Visibly tense as his face numbed from the slightest of whiffs, Quade continues. "Sounds good..."

Caspian nods. "Alright, then, let's get this guy ready, tied up and..." he begins to speak as he lifts the man up.

Watching as... all four of the others just sit back down on the couch. Like. They just... they just sit down. Caspian's the only one even focused on the unconscious gangster.

"... okay, what- what gives?" Caspian asks, tilting his head. "Why are you just sitting down?"

"Guy's gonna be out cold for twenty minutes," Rosemary answers, letting out a sigh as she crosses her arms as Giichi. "... and that's a minimum. Maybe it'll be worse."

Caspian silently just stares at them in disbelief, at how- casual all of them were now. Even Quade, who just decided to sit back and pick up another pizza slice. "I... I see, t... then when don't we just- tie him up right now, and-"

"The pizza is not going to be warm forever," Peritzal speaks up, sitting down and gesturing to the food on the table. "And the ice in the sodas will not last forever, either."

"Yeah, plus our show's gonna start, Caspy," Papaya responds, picking up the remote. "We got all the time in the world to take care of that guy."

"No, we don't, we have like- twenty-" Caspian objects, absolutely dumbfounded.

"Tie the guy up all you want, dude, don't let us stop you," Rosemary comments, rolling her eyes at him.

Caspian... sighs, before he just nods and sits down. Taking his soda and joining them in their leisure. "Fine, guess we're procrastinating..."

"Mhmm, that's how we roll," Papaya explains, taking another slice and sitting back. "Time soon to be well spent. Quade, pass me a slice?"

"Here ya go."

In the supposed twenty minutes of the gangster's unconsciousness, nothing at all has been done to him. The group has been thoroughly invested in the newest episode of The Talking Pine Apple, that random drama show featuring a gay news reporter and a talking apple best friend.

The TV was right at the climax of the episode. The riveting scene of Eddie, the reporter, engaging in a fist fight with a man dressed in a full body apple suit. The rain pouring down on the asphalt of the street, both of them beating the crap out of each other after Jacob escorted the scummy Count Narvald to the hospital.

"... this is simultaneously the worst show I've ever watched, but I just- wow," Caspian comments, lying back on the couch with an intrigued glance. "I can't look away."

"Yeah," Papaya responds, lying back. "I kind of don't like how out of character they're writing Eddie, though..."

"Man's gotta stand up for himself," Quade interjects, crossing his arms. "Don't really see the issue."

"Quade, you weren't there for the earlier episodes," Papaya responds. "Eddie loves Jacob, he gave up everything for him."

"I mean, I'd punch Narvald if I were Eddie," Rosemary calmly says, arms crossed as she continues to possess the unconscious and sleeping Giichi. "Makes plenty of sense."

"And we established how much of a bad influence the apple is," Peritzal comments, bringing up an earlier point that only Papaya was here to pay attention to. "Eddie would definitely fall into this sort of trap."

"But- I mean-" Papaya begins to speak, before looking over to the gangster. "... oh, hey, he's awake! Guys, the gangster's getting up! Computer, pause the show!"

The show proceeds to pause just as Eddie was about to finish the fight, pausing at the start of his right hook.

All of their attentions shifting back to the gangster, moving quickly to prevent him from standing up.

Rosemary is the first to do so, as she sits on top of the gangster. Using Giichi's weight to secure the man in place as the others start to surround the gangster from all sides. Papaya crouching down and staring down at the man as she ties his wrists together with rope. Caspian, kneeling down on the opposite side, staring at the man's front.

"Y'know, if we did this before the show, we wouldn't have needed to-"

"Eh, don't look to the past, Caspian, we're totes doing it now."

Peritzal stands at the man's feet and begins to tie his ankles together, while Quade stands in front of the gangster's head and puts duct tape over the gangster's mouth.

"... alright. Ground rules," Quade speaks, talking to the others AND the now conscious gangster. "I reckon I'm tellin' this to both us and this man for fairness. Gangsters are tough, tight lipped, and the most loyal will not tell on their boss or co-workers. Depending on who he works for, he may be killed for telling us anything, making it hard for us to get anything of value out of him."

"Alright. Sounds good," Rosemary chimes in, grabbing the man by the back of his head. Her fingers holding firmly, yet not too firm. "You hear that? You're in for a looooong night, bud."

"Mmph?! M-Mmmph!!!"

"And that is precisely my next point," Quade speaks up, gesturing to Rosemary to let go of the man's head. "Now. He may be a gangster, but he is also a man. A human being."

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

"For the sake of everyone here, elaborate," Peritzal asks, leaning forward with the need to receive more information.

"We are not going to kill him," Quade begins to explain, looking to the others. "We are not going to permanently injure or cripple him. Anything physically done to him needs to be fixable. Mental is on the table, but his mind must be in tact with his existing memories. So, we will not erase his brain-"

"Understood," Peritzal immediately comments.

"... no memory altercations. He is to remember everything that happened before this speech, give or take some changes for our safety."

"Alright," Peritzal comments again.

Quade pauses again, narrowing his eyes at Peritzal, and thinking. "... and afterwards, he is to keep the freedom to think whatever he wants without fear of brainwashing..."

"Sure, sure," Peritzal responds, typing this on her tablet.

"........." Quade covers his face with a hand. He needed to cover all bases, given that Peritzal was in the room. "And for the sake of this man, you are forbidden from doing anything whatsoever without first telling me about it. Emphasis on. Me. The other three here, names redacted so this man cannot name us, optional. You have to tell me about it first before you do it."

"..." Peritzal sighs in disappointment. "Understood, and-"

"And you are not allowed to make him into a robot."

"You are killing me!" Peritzal exclaims in pure spite at that. "There is literally NO action I can take to this man that doesn't violate your ethical guidelines!"

"M-MMPH?!" noises the gangster, in disbelief.

Quade- lets out a growl as he glares at Peritzal, the audacity of this girl. "Y... You know what?! You are NOT to do ANYTHING AT ALL to this here man!" Quade exclaims. "You, in particular! You already vaporized two of 'em, now we're here!"

"U-Uhm- guys-" Rosemary speaks up, her head turning left and right to watch this unfold.

Peritzal glares back at Quade, interrupting Rosemary by stomping her foot down. "This is MY apartment! I have the right to extract this man's lungs and use them as bean bag chair inflators!"

"No! No, you do NOT!" Quade shouts, stomping his foot down. "This man is to be kept in tact, COMPLETELY IN TACT. Do you understand me?!"

"M-MMPHHHHH! MMMMPHHHHH!"

Quade looks down at the gangster going absolutely nuts with the muffled noises. "... okay, okay. We'll continue this lil' talk later, got more pressin' issues," Quade tells the others, ripping the duct tape off of the gangster's mouth. "Now, are you willing to talk? Or will we have to-"

The gangster immediately blurts out his surrender, after hearing that entire conversation. "I- I give up, geez! Been trying to give up for the last few minutes, you effin' MONSTERS!"

"Oh." Quade looks at the others, exchanging mildly surprised and pleased looks. "I see." Quade takes a moment to stand up, hand held out to Peritzal. "Good work."

"Mmm." Peritzal nods as she slaps Quade's hand, contently giving him a high five.

"W... Wha?! But you two were- ... oh my god," Rosemary began to speak, hands clasping the sides of her forehead. "T-That whole argument was staged?!"

Quade nods. "Yep. Good ol' tactic and all," Before directing his attention back to the gangster. "Well, you said it, you give up. So, tell us who you work for, and why you're here."

"Wha..." The gangster narrows his eyes. "I-If that's all made up, you- you're not getting a word out of me!"

Peritzal looks to Quade for a brief moment, then silently nods as she holds her tablet in front of the man's eyes and, on replay, shows him his two companions being disintegrated over and over again.

"The don sends his regards! Prepare to di-!"

"Prepare to die, you dirty-!"

"The don sends his regards! Prepare to di-!"

"Prepare to die, you dirty-!"

Rinse and repeat, over and over again.

In fact, Papaya takes a moment to take out a bowl of mashed potatoes. Cold, refrigerated, made a while back. Then, to demonstrate a point, calmly shoots the bowl of potatoes to unmash the potatoes.

"W-WHAT THE-" the gangster screams as he sees the potatoes unmash themselves. "F-FINE! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING! GEEZ! JUST KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!"

"Awesome!" Papaya exclaims, kicking the bowl of now actual potatoes away from the man. "Then get to talking! We got the gist that you work for some sort of don, and are here to kill us already, so..."

"Tch- okay. Okay... so I'm- or... or we're... we're in the... Starveil Mafia, see. And apparently... me and the two-" the gangster speaks up, blinking as he stares at the dust right next to his face. "... guys... are- are here because we're hunting the brown haired girl on me... she- she busted, like, hundreds of us just hours ago, and the boss is just- pissed... so we got a buncha guys sprawling all over the city, looking for you- and apparently we found you guys first."

"Buncha guys, hm? How many?" Caspian asks.

"W... Well, just- who's left, really. I'd say- maybe... ten, twelve guys?"

"Ah, yes, the gangster's dozens," Rosemary comments. "Neat. Gonna tell us where you all are situated? It'd be cool if you did, make our job easier and all."

"... I- I can't- tell you that."

"Aw, why not? Too scared? We're not gonna, like, do anything stupid, get you in trouble and all..." Papaya comments.

"N-No, no, it's- it's because... because it changes every day. We're not told- where- to go, we're all over the city... the don speaks to his subordinates, then those subordinates go further down and down... and- technically, I'm... second to last in this chain. The guys you incinerated are also second to last..."

Papaya then hmms contently. "Alright, I believe you. The truth detector's been going off that entire time. Right, Peri?"

Peritzal... nods. "Indeed. The man has been telling the complete truth."

The- gangster smiles idly. "S... So, we- we good...?"

"Yeah, we good," Papaya responds, patting the guy's head lightly. "Now, here's what's gonna happen, bud. We're gonna let you go now, and- well, in case, just to let you know. Telling your lil' boss about what happened today is going to get you killed. We don't want that, we don't want you to get in trouble."

"Indeed," Peritzal continues. "So if you are to leave this apartment and go on your merry way, act as if you did not encounter us, you will be permitted to leave. And in the event you believe that you can double cross us..."

Calmly, Quade pushes the bowl of potatoes back to the man, and Papaya shoots it with the same beam again. The potatoes spontaneously turned into potato plants.

"I- I get it!" the gangster exclaims, just- wow. "Just- just untie me... I won't cross y'all..."

"Cool. Alright, system, untie this man," Peritzal calmly says to the computer system. Then, spontaneously, the ropes around the gangster's wrists and ankles disappear and dematerialize.

The gangster's eyes- just- wide at this, as Quade helps him up. Standing once again, hands moving to dust his coat off. "... you... you guys are absolute freaks..." the gangster mumbles, sighing. "I... I kind of respect that."

"Well, if you feel like an occupation change is due once we dismantle your entire criminal operation, we will keep you in mind, Lyle Silvers."

"Ah, yes, that-" ... the gangster's eyes widen as he stares at Peritzal, registering that she just said his full name. "H... How did you-"

"Niagara Straws, the bar located on Yeast Avenue, North Starveil," Peritzal further comments, staring at the man with the blankest of expressions.

"........" The gangster tensely- shakes. "I-"

"Dude, we got the info, didn't you hear me when I said 'we good'?" Papaya asks, crossing her arms and grinning at Lyle Silvers. "The truth detector. Detects the truth by promptly scanning your entire brain, even as you lie right to our faces like the dumb lil' gangster guy you are, Lyle Silvers."

"Yes, those ropes that we tied you with. They have been scanning your entire brain and its waves the entire time as you speak, Lyle Silvers," Peritzal further explains to Lyle Silvers. "Now we have all of the information you possess about your organization, Silvers. The location of tomorrow's supposed meeting."

Caspian gives a nod as he pats Lyle on the back. "Don't feel bad, Lyle Silvers. We were true to our word and all... we don't want you in trouble. As long as you don't go and try to kill or hurt us in any, single, way, whatsoever."

Rosemary then finishes. "Indeed. Just go back to 4502 Parmesan Boulevard, Apartment 602, and have dinner with your wife and two sons already, Lyle Silvers. Maybe stay there for the entire day tomorrow."

The gangster's eyes... were mortified with absolute fear. Staring at all five of them crowding him. ".............." Then- then slowly leaves the apartment.

"... okay, today has been too much for me," Quade tells the group as he closes the door, sighing. "Feels wrong, scannin' that guy's brain and scarin' him and all... I need to get some shuteye..."

"Same, same..." Caspian interjects, yawning as he flops over onto the couch. "The gangster's interrogated and all... we got a plan of what next to do?"

"Yes, indeed," Peritzal answers, taking a moment to- finally clean up the ashes. "Next, if we are still going to engage in a sleepover, we are first going to sleep in this apartment before we go topple that entire mafia tomorrow."

"Cool," Rosemary chimes in, before Giichi's body spontaneously just falls over. Giichi just snoozes cozily against the floor while Rosemary instantaneously goes dormant for the night.

Caspian nods idly, arms and legs idly stretched as he really just sinks into the couch. "Sounds... good, I guess. You girls got any extra soda?"

"Yeah, got half a six pack left..." Papaya comments, walking to the bedroom to retrieve extra pillows and blankets.

"Neat... Quade, get me one."

Quade nods, going to the fridge. "... y'all mind if I make breakfast or somethin' with what you got, tomorrow mornin'?"

"You are welcome to," Peritzal comments, dragging Giichi's body to the couch. "We will keep track of inventory and resupply as necessary, Quade."

"Alright, then."

For the rest of the night, no more gangster break-ins. A nice, cozy night to conclude today, as they began to get some much needed rest.

The five of them began cozily lying on the couch together. Peritzal and Papaya on the rightmost side, Quade and Caspian sharing the leftmost closest to the door, and Giichi contently lying on the floor with Rosemary lying dormant.

Lyle Silvers, the gangster, the one that these five spared, went home to spend what remaining time he had left with his family.