Let me start by saying, that day was absolute garbage from the moment I opened my eyes. I woke up to my alarm at 6:30 only to immediately smell burnt meat. Most likely my mom's most recent attempt to make breakfast, probably bacon this time around. All this means is that, yet again, she’s just getting a coffee and muffin on her way to work. If she’s so eager to cook, she should take classes. But she “Just doesn’t have the time”. Which makes sense considering I occasionally see her when I wake up and maybe when I go to bed.

I got dressed, armed myself with a bottle of Fabreez, and went to face the horror that is my mom’s incompetence with a stove. Yup, bacon. Also eggs if my nose is to be believed. When will this woman learn? After a few minutes of breathing through my mouth and emptying the bottle, the smell is mostly gone.

I hop into the bathroom for a quick scrub down and analyze that fuggly thing in the mirror. It’s me, who’s not a morning person in the slightest.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for the bags under my eyes and the essence of death permeating from me, I’d look ok. I fix my shoulder length black hair, try and fail to get rid of that one strand that stays in front of my left eye, and say “good enough” although it probably isn’t.

I look myself in the eye. A guy in my class once told me my eyes were "A striking amber, like a predator hunting for prey". That guy was later caught stealing girls clothes from gym lockers, which is what you'd expect from a dude who goes up to random people and makes shitty poems about their eyes. Still, he may have a point.

I get in and out of the shower and get dressed. The school doesn’t have a uniform, so I just wear my red sweatshirt, t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. It’s enough that I leave the house to communicate with the rest of these animals, that alone is too much effort.

I make some non-burnt eggs, eat them… and it’s 7:10. I still have around 40 minutes to myself. Time to read some trash! My mom hates these novels, but I can’t get enough of them. Crappy romance dramas. Ones that a 13 year old probably shouldn’t read. They’re so bad and I love to laugh at the stupid characters making stupid decisions which lead to stupid outcomes, and then they make out in the rain. What can I say, I’m a romantic.

40 minutes later, I put down my copy of “Love and Moderate Disappointment” and shoulder my satchel filled with my school books and my lunch (made by me, obviously). I leave my small suburban house and step into the world.

… The sun… It burns. I spend a minute debating on whether or not to just go back inside and live as a gremlin, but today’s the last day and I have tests that will determine if I pass or not, so I reluctantly start walking. Thankfully it’s warm since it’s still summer, but I can feel the cold wind of fall approaching. Damn I’m poetic. D.C. is always busy, which makes it hard to avoid people, which sucks because I prefer to avoid people.

I lament the fact that my mom makes me go here as I walk to my summer school. It’s not one of the ones that kids go to when they’re doing bad in school. I get passing grades (although through questionable means). It’s an optional course that smart kids usually go to so they flex on us unintelligent plebeians. Although I guess I’m technically one of them. As to why my mother makes me go here? It’s quite simple, she wants a smart daughter. She’s a researcher at… somewhere. She probably mentioned it at one point, but whatever, I don’t care. She wants me to follow in her footsteps I guess. But, umm… no.

That stuff is boring as all hell. I’d rather just stick my nose in a book and read about the devastating romance between Lindsey Blonde and Johnny Handsome.

Whatever, I walk into the stupid school, ignore the stupid kids and stupid teachers, go to my stupid classroom, and sit at my stupid desk. Today I have three tests. Biology, chemistry, and German. But I’m completely prepared.

My biology professor had the test and answers on her computer. She also didn’t log off on her lunch break. That led to me easily gaining access to the answers by emailing them to me and deleting the email from her computer afterwards. My chemistry teacher is old school and prints it all out and keeps them on his desk in his office. He also locks the door whenever he leaves, which was a bit of a problem. Until I realized he leaves his window open and his office is on the first floor. Hahaha, dumb old man! Since I couldn’t steal the printed copy of the answers without causing suspicion, I just took pictures on my phone instead. I’ve made that mistake before, but thankfully I was never caught.

Then there’s German. I got nothing since there’s no answer sheet for a language class test. And I mostly just read my books for the whole period. Gonna have to just take the loss on that one.

With all that said, I raked in some decent profit from selling the answers. There’s two sides to the kids in this school. On one hand, there’s the smart alecs who genuinely try on the tests. I I dislike these kids. On the other hand, there’s the prep school kids who are desperate to please their family. I also dislike these kids, but I can sell to them nicely, and for a pretty decent price too since they tend to be rich. I take in a decent bit of cash from this business. My total savings are over $2000. I just tell my mom I do chores around the neighborhood for cash. She could easily disprove this if she just brought it up with one of the neighbors, but she talks to them even less than me, so fat chance of that happening. Also the fact that I ask her for lunch money, but make my own lunch.

There's also my... even less honest work. I somehow ended up smuggling drugs across the city for some people. Yeah, idk how I ended up doing that either. It's nothing too exciting. I go up to their base, the basement of some dingy bar, how unoriginal, and get handed a bag and the address of a buyer. It's usually just some dude in the less fortunate side of town. I give him drugs, he gives me the money, I take the money back to the boss. I don't skim any off the top, I'm greedy, not stupid. Guy pays decent anyway. As a lucky side effect, I'm pretty well known on that side of town and people actually like me for whatever reason, so I'm pretty safe there. The boss even gave me a loaded gun "just in case". One of those sub nosed revolvers. It's still under some floorboards in my room. There's also that old disabled vet who pays me to get his coke. Back to the subject at hand though.

The day went as expected from there. Missed a few questions on purpose for my biology exam. Rinse and repeat for chemistry. Pretty sure half my German was actually French in that last test.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

My mom brought me up speaking French and English, even though French isn’t her native language. Something about how babies learn languages easily. Well, it worked, but she’s trying to cram even more languages in my head, which I don’t appreciate. Lower your expectations of me, woman!

Back on topic, the day is done, I probably failed German, and I don’t care. Goodbye school, I’ll be dragged back here next month. Now it’s time to head home. Just one problem, there’s an idiot in the way. I think his name is Luke? Important part is that he’s one of the prep kids who I sold the test to. He’s got the overdone hair, plaid sweater vest, that aura of I’m better than you. The whole nine yards of douchebag. (And before you say “where did a 13 year old learn this kind of language?” The answer is god damn YouTube and young adult romance books.)

“I want a refund.” He tells me.

“Umm… what?” I don’t like talking to people, especially people my age. They're assholes. "It was the right answers, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, they were right, but now I don’t need them anymore. I want my money back!” This kid was really an idiot. Dude, aren’t your parents the head of some business or something? If you fuck people over that obviously in business, you’re gonna be screwed. But it’s not like the socially inept me is gonna tell him that. “And so do my friends!” Oh great, two more appeared.

Welp, these idiots aren’t going to listen to reason. Only one thing left to do. “Hey, don’t let her get away!” Book it! It’s my hard earned money I risked life and limb for! No that’s not an exaggeration, that chemistry teacher is no joke!

I run, they give chase, the Benny Hill song plays in my head. The internet has ruined me, but I’ll curse it appropriately when I’m safe. My stamina is shit, I won't make it to the ghetto so I ran downtown. I try to lose them in the crowd of people but they are surprisingly determined. I guess idiots don’t know when to quit. I started cutting through back alleys. They’re not as bad as TV makes them out to be, actually. But it’s no use. I’m out of breath from all the running and sweating pretty hard. My legs feel like lead. My only saving grace is that these prep assholes are equally physically inept.

I can hear one of them call the others “She went this way!”. I try to look for a place to hide. Trash can? Nope, this is behind a barbecue restaurant, not happening. Then I see a manhole cover which is slightly jarred, just enough for me to get a grip. I really don’t want to go in the sewer, but it’s too late to go back now! I grab it with my twig arms and pull. It’s only moving a little. I can hear them coming and I pull harder. WHY DO THEY MAKE THESE THINGS SO HEAVY?!

After I finally get it off enough to squeeze through, I immediately grab the ladder and start climbing down. Just in time too, because the moment I get in, the boys are standing over me and around the manhole.

“Hey, come out!”

“Nope!” There were a few moments of silence. What exactly was the plan there, I say ok and let you take my money?

I could hear Luke talking to the others. “You go down there and get her.”

“What? No! That’s a sewer, I don’t want to get dirty.”

“Yeah, me neither. My mom would kill me if I got this sweater dirty.”

After that I heard Luke muttering in frustration before telling something to the others. And I watched as they closed the cover over me.

Fuck.

They actually trapped me in here. Are they idiots?! If I die down here, then my body will be found eventually. Then some handsome roguish detective will find out who last saw me alive, and there are plenty of witnesses who’ll say it’s you three!

Well I should probably avoid dying in the first place. The only light in here is from the small hole in the manhole cover. Once I get to the bottom of the ladder, I take out my phone and turn on the flashlight function. It smells even worse than I imagined. I just see cramped long halls and murky water on the floor. The water almost completely surrounds my shoes and starts sleeping into my socks. Guess I’ll have to burn these when I get home.

Welp, there’s no way I’m pushing up that cover while also standing on a ladder, I do not have that much strength or balance. The only thing I can do is… walk forward. I start treading through the stinky cavern hoping for an exit before the stench kills me. Or an alligator. Or is it crocodiles that live sewers?

I have pondered this question for nearly twenty minutes now. The caverns are a complete maze, leading onto constant forks and dead ends. I’d look up a map of the sewer system on my phone, but I get jack shit reception down here. The piss water has completely soaked into my socks now. I hate my life.

I keep readjusting my satchel on my sore shoulder when I enter a large sewage cave. I mean BIG big. Large enough to fit a four lane highway. I don’t know much about sewers, but this seems… unrealistic? It’s just way too big.

To the right it’s a dead end, to the left it just extends into darkness, and below is just a cascade of sewage. A serious river of shit. All the sewage lines draining into it.

But I notice something weird? You know how the insides of rocked are all smooth because they haven't been worn down? That is exactly what all the stone looks like leading into the river, just perfectly cut. It’s weird, like I can FEEL something wrong.

I turn around to get the heck out of here when-

ROOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!

OW MY EARDRUMS! Some animal just yelled, and I don’t think crocodiles roar.

Out of the sewage stream something started rising. And it definitely wasn’t a lizard. A giant beige/pink tentacle rose out of the water.

NOPE!

I break out of my trance to book it, but the tentacle moves uncannily fast and wraps around me, binding my arms to my torso.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

I flail wildly, kicking and screaming. It only tightens its grip on me. I swear I can hear my bones creaking while the air gets forced out of my lungs.

Nononono, I don’t want to get taken out by the antagonist of a hentai! My vision starts to blur as the rest of what the tentacle is attached to appears. A giant circular mouth greeted me, filled with rows and rows of giant jagged teeth.

And honestly, for the first time in my life I prayed. I don’t believe in god, but with the life being squeezed out of me, I just had one honest and desperate wish. To live. I should have just given that fucker his money, or been a good student, for done anything that didn’t lead to this.

….

… You know what? FUCK THAT!

YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE ME REGRET SHIT, YOU OVERSIZED PIECE OF SHITTY CALIMARI!

Fuck you! I start struggling with all my puny might against this asshole piece of uncooked sushi. If I die then it won't be because I didn't try hard enough! I may be lazy, but even I have standards!

But I didn’t have to die, FOR A HERO APPEARS!

The squid shakes as an equally giant predator took a huge bite of it. A bigass crocodile. I’m sorry for the blasphemy I spouted oh great lizard!

The squids grip lessened, letting me breath as it started to fight back against my savior.

It still has the squid in his maw as he starts to thrash it around. With me with it, I might add. The fight is slowly moving deeper into the river. The squid now realizes it has better things to do that hold me, and drops me straight into the “water”.

Now I’m trying for dear life not to get any in my mouth. I do everything in my power to keep my head above it all, but the two kaiju back there are creating waves in their fight, constantly forcing me to bob up and down, struggling not to vomit as some inevitably gets tasted. The stream is sweeping us all further away from where I was, and it’s getting faster.

Then I hear a dreaded noise over the monsters. I can only struggle against the current as the two monsters are chucked over the waterfall. And I join them right after.