Chapter 69

“What do you mean, she is gone!?” Lynette screeches incredulously at her husband. She drops the basket brimming with gifts for the bastard child and her daughter. The contents spill out into the floor causing a small rattle to roll away and go under the unoccupied bed.

“Husband,” Lynette hisses out, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets, “this joke of yours is not funny. Now, tell me where my daughter is! You cannot hide her from me. I am still her mother!”

“It is not a joke,” Luvien says gruffly while massaging his throat with a look of great anger. Around him, the room looked as if it had been ransacked. No others were inside it except for the husband and wife with the door firmly shut for privacy on the dire matter.

“Nonsense!” Lynette says and stalks further into the room with a crazed look, “Where are you hiding her? What have you done!?” She heads straight for the bed and starts to yank off the covers off it. When she does not find her daughter in the bed, she proceeds to check underneath it, before scrambling up and heading straight to the wardrobe.

“She cannot be far. She has just given birth.” Lynette mutters as she tosses out dresses only to stare at the back of the old furniture emptily. Not willing to give up, she begins to tear apart the room in search of her daughter, shaking her head and growling to herself when Livia does not sprout up.

“WHERE IS SHE!?” Lynette screams in rage, whirling back on her husband standing in the middle of the room.

“You have done something, haven’t you?” the duchess accuses in a low hiss, and advances on her husband with a wild look in her eye, “You didn’t even waste a second,” Lynette says with a cruel laugh, “You must have been planning this from the moment you returned.”

“I have done nothing,” Luvien says coldly as he stares down at his wife.

“You are lying,” Lynette does not believe him for a second, “Why have you even come so early? Why would a father of a disgraced daughter be so eager to see her right after she had given birth to a bastard? You never cared for my Livia to that extent, Luvien, so, don’t you dare try to lie. Now, I will only ask you this one more time. What did you do?”

The husband’s expression does not waver. He steps closer to his wife and grounds out again, “I have not done anything.”

Lynette scoffs and clenches her fist at her side, her stare unwavering as she glares silently.

Taking that as acceptance, Luvien expression neutralizes.

“When I arrived to see how our daughter was fairing, the room was as you see it now,” Luvien states, “Immediately, I had my men search the north wing for our wayward daughter along with her child, while I questioned the orderly.”

“And?” Lynette snaps, her patience thinning, “What was the conclusion you had come to?” She asks haltingly as her rose eyes blaze with barely restrained fury.

The duchess knew her husband had done something. Suddenly, all his recent behavior these past few weeks added up and she curses herself that she was foolish enough to think that she had known exactly what he had been planning, only for him to pull this nonsense.

Her daughter was now gone. Ripped away from right under her nose.

And the child.

Lynette purses her lips.

At the very least, she had hoped to lay eyes on it before anyone else. She had made sure to get up early and had intended to bribe the royal guards to gain access. Her intentions had been to confirm that her daughter's beautiful bodyguard had not fathered it as he had claimed.

Not that it would have mattered either way. The child would still be a bastard, after all. And its existence was a hindrance to her future plans. Lynette was sure her husband had intended to have it sent away to some distant relatives of his. To keep it out of sight and mind.

Lynette could not deny her own intentions have been similar in nature. However, she had wished to keep the child under her care instead of her husband. The bastard was still of her blood, after all. She did not wish to see it come to harm. Regardless, just like her husband, Lynette had no desire for it to be raised in the Valentine household.

It would be a constant reminder of her daughter's greatest shame.

Instead, she had hoped to give the child over to her mother. That way, she could have it close, but far enough away that it would no longer intrude on the future of her daughter.

And, if it so happens that her Livia stepped out of line as she has already in the past, then Lynette would have had access to a means to ensure that her daughter would never defy her again.

But now, her plans have shattered all around her and she now had to deal with this crippling problem.

Livia was gone.

Lynette felt cold dread seeping into the pit of her stomach, along with anger, because she could not rule out the fact that what her husband has said might be true. And if that was the case, then her fears were all but confirmed.

Sen Cade.

Did the bodyguard really father her daughter’s child?

If that was the case, then why did she run?

And why had he refused to claim the child as his?

Lynette was not foolish. She noticed instantly that the bodyguard was mysteriously absent along with that criminal midwife. Only the maid was left. Lynette has seen the woman sitting beside an upset Liliana on her way in, trying to comfort the girl. That should have been her first warning that something was amiss.

Damn it.

“The guard must have taken Livia,” Her husband was saying as he walked about the room slowly, “It is the only likely conclusion,” he says grimly, looking up at his wife, “Livia was weak and still recovering from her birth. She could do nothing but follow his orders in fear for her life and the child's.”

Lynette glances around the room, seeing how easily painting such a picture could be.

It was entirely believable.

“It seemed as if he was in a hurry,” Luvien continues on, gesturing to the mess on the floor, “He packed up her things as well as some supplies for the child and left in the darkness of the early morning. My men noticed a few tracks out back in the old garden heading towards the direction of northeast. I have already ordered them to track them down and find our daughter. We should hear news of her whereabouts in a matter of hours.”

“And what is Sen Cade’s motive for taking my Livia?” Lynette asks snidely, “Why would he only make his move now? If anything, wouldn’t it have made more sense for him to take her while she was still pregnant? With a baby in her arms, she will be more of a hindrance than without.”

Luvien gives her a barbed look, “How should I know what thoughts run in the mind of a man who is fiendish enough to take a vulnerable noblewoman from right under the nose of her parents? What is important right now is that he is out there, right now, with our daughter and needs to be found. That is our priority at the moment.” The duke strides towards the door after saying his piece, reaching out to open it.

“And the baby?” Lynette stares over at the open door of the nursery. Her eyes cast in shadows, “What happens to it when we find Livia and bring her back to her rightful place? What will be told of it?”

Luvien pauses.

Lynette directs hollow eyes to his back.

“No harm is to befall it,” she says and the words are almost a promise.

“But...” Lynette trails off, unable to say her plans for her grandchild out loud.

“The child will not weigh our daughter down any more than it already has,” Luvien echoes the words he had told Livia, only an hour ago, unbeknownst to her mother. Then he opens the door and leaves his wife standing in the middle of a room that had been willingly abandoned.

----------------------------------------

“And what is the relationship between you two?” The woman seems to be in her mid-thirties with lime green hair wrapped around in long tendrils on the top of her head. Her blue eyes darted between the two standing before her with great interest. She leans forward with a smile she no doubt thought was polite, but it did nothing to hide the silent conclusion she was making about the young pairing that just entered her tavern.

“Good sir, and ma’am,” She says mildly, “The establishment does provide rooms; however,” She inflicts a regretful tone, “we only allow couples to share one together. I apologize but-”

Livia shuffles her cloak around, parting it long enough to adjust her sleeping son in his wrap before she closes it once more. At the same time, in perfect unison, she steps closer to Sen, looking up into the stranger's face he wore with one of her own shyly as he reaches out and gathers her close to his side. They snuggle and titter together like a young couple madly in love, getting lost in each other's eyes for too many long seconds before they turn and stare at the owner at the same time.

“Actually,” Sen says, and his voice is now light and airy, “We are married.”

“It has almost been a year now,” Livia says with rosy cheeks. The change in her voice is done manually and the illusion hanging just above her skin is only a small trick of the light, unlike the one Sen wears. She is careful not to move too much.

“Oh my!” The owner's lime eyelashes flutter in surprise, her deep-set eyebrows rising up. She leans forward, trying to get a peek at the baby hidden from view, “To be so young and to already have a child! You too must really love each other!” She simpers.

Then she pulls the guest book closer to herself and grabs a feathered ink pen to write, “Well, you two must be utterly tired, especially that wee little one. And you are just in luck! I happen to have a single room that just opened up! May I have the name it will be put under and know how long you intend to stay?” The woman gets right down to business.

Livia steps away with a smile as her son wakes up and begins to fuss, leaving Sen to deal with the arrangements. Her eyes scan the room with cold precision at the same time she has her baby unwrapped and cradled in her arms to soothe him better.

The Marigold Tavern was small and out of the way, tucked close into an alley, and was not visible from the main street of the small city of Verbena. In the later afternoon, it was barely busy with a few patrons sitting about tucking into a late lunch while some were nursing a few drinks at the tables scattered about. From her viewpoint, she notices two entrances. The one in which that had ducked into and another one that was on the second floor, by the rooms that likely led to another alleyway.

As her son settles downs and becomes content with staring hazily about while smacking his lips, mostly up at her, Livia turns when she feels a presence at her side.

Sen holds up the key and nods to the second floor. She smiles adoringly at him and accepts his elbow, allowing him to escort them to their room. Once inside, Livia heads straight for the bed while Sen closes and locks the door behind himself. While he begins inspecting the room, Livia places her small baby in the middle of the bed and removes the wrap and sack from her person.

As her baby wiggles about and just exists as newborns do, Livia opens her sack and Noctis quickly jumps out with a baby toy in his mouth. Livia manages to muster up a weak smirk at the adorable image before she gently coaxes Noctis to go to Sen. After which she starts to pull out three blankets and some new clothes to change her son into since he had spit-up on the one he was currently wearing.

“The room is clear,” Sen announces and with a flick of his fingers and a spark of blue, a bag is hanging in his hand. He walks over to an old dresser and sets the bag down and starts going through it as Noctis darts between his legs, playing with the toy.

“How long did you say we will stay?” Livia asks without looking up.

She carefully maneuvers her son's tiny, pudgy limbs into his new outfit with only a few minor protests from the baby. Once done, she shuffles further onto the bed, propping up pillows, and leans back on them. With a few rustles and adjustments, her son latches on and begins to feed on her as she hums lowly and leans back with a sigh. Her back ached terribly after the carriage ride and she was happy to sit on something relatively soft even if it was a bit lumpy.

“Three days,” Sen says, looking over before quickly glancing away. To his credit, he looked more annoyed than embarrassed at her state of undress.

“What?” Livia asks, suddenly feeling testy.

Sen set down a dagger with a clank and his back tenses.

Livia tries to pretend that the stifled and suffocating atmosphere that has been hanging around and between them does not exist, but that was a little hard to do when they both had been practically swimming in it for hours. It clung to their bodies now and sunk into their clothes like a heavy scent in the air.

In the silence, her baby stops suckling, and she switches sides, seeing if he was still hungry. When he latches back on, she hazardously pulls up the strap of her dress and sinks down further into the bed. Livia just wants to curl up and hide from the world, but knows that she can’t.

Not with the words she had spoken earlier still hanging over them. She stares blankly at her feet, her eyes unseeing as she tries to gather her thoughts and the strength to once again voice them out loud.

Livia startles a bit when the bed dips. She raises her eyes and then a single eyebrow at Sen, surprised that he has approached her without needing to be coaxed. Without a word, she shifts over and closer to the wall, allowing him room to sit at the headboard alongside her.

He takes the invitation after removing his boots. As he settles back, the room threatens quiet, but the small tinkling of the toy Noctis was playing with and soft suckles of her baby kept it away.

Sen glances down at her son before his yellow eyes meet her own. Livia only now realized that he has returned back to himself and somewhat delayed, she drops her own illusion.

“What’s his name?” Sen asks, after a while.

Livia glances down at her son, noticing he has finished and was still wide awake. She doesn’t smile, but her expression softens as she pulls him away from herself and cradles him against her shoulder as she gently pats his back to burp him.

“His name...” Livia echoes the words under her breath, pondering. A name was important. She wanted her son to have a good one, something he could grow into and make his own. The meaning behind the words wasn’t really all that important. To her, she just needed to like it enough to gift it to her son.

Her baby burps and wiggles on her shoulder, cooing and smacking his lips. She shifts and raises up her knees, lays him onto them so she could stare better at his round little face.

Her son was all cleaned up and peacefully breathing as he stared out into the world. For the first time, she allows herself to properly take in his features.

Beth was right.

He was a very healthy boy. He was small as all newborns were, but Livia estimated that he was at least weighed around eight pounds and a couple of ounces. His limbs were curled up and had a healthy amount of fat on them, which pleased her greatly. As she stared, her baby’s eyes seem to focus on her face and she leans forward to nuzzle his little round nose.

He sneezes in retaliation, startling himself as his misty eyes, which were made of a swirling mix of midnight and purple, widen in surprise.

Livia chuckles.

So adorable.

Her son does not cry. He soon settles down again, waving his arms hazardously around and kicking out his legs now that she has freed him from the wrap. Her baby seems to be enjoying being able to wiggle more freely.

Sen leans over but is careful not to invade her space.

“He looks like you,” He comments, examining the baby with a rather serious look.

Livia knows she is now beaming like a loon, but can’t really stop as she cups her son's round little head, idly playing with the soft, thick curls of midnight that he had inherited from his father. Along with his hair, he had inherited his father's thick eyebrows, button nose, and honey brown skin tone.

Beyond that, Sen was right.

Her son had her sharp eyes, her ears, mouth, chin, and even a bit of her oval facial shape.

He was beautiful.

Livia wasn’t sure if the truth of that statement could be shared by all, but to her, his mother, her son was perfect and everything she could have asked for and more.

“He has Elias's hair and his nose,” Livia says softly as she plays with her sons' little pudgy fingers, “Only time will tell what features he grows into, and which dissolves as he ages.” Her son's fingers curl around one of her own, capturing it in a surprisingly strong grip as she waved it teasingly. Her baby coos and then his mouth stretch in a half-smile half-grimace expression that makes her snort.

“...No one should be able to tell that he is the child of the 14th emperor since he takes so strongly after you.”

Livia looks over at Sen, her eyebrow ticking up. Was that supposed to be words of comfort?

Sen makes a face and tries again, “At the very least, as long as you keep your distance from the Eastern Empire, no one will know that you birth a legitimate heir to the imperial throne. Of course, if anyone were to find out, they would try to take him away and use him as ransom or try to shape him into a puppet emperor, but the more likely scenario is they report it back to the current emperor of the empire, Saer.” He points out.

“Nope,” Livia shakes her head, “That wasn't any better.”

Sen shrugs, giving up.

She just sighs, “Thanks for trying, I guess.”

“Hn,” Sen grunts as he sinks further into the cushionless pillows behind him.

Minutes tick by, the room becomes still.

“We need to talk-” Sen starts.

“I think I’ll name him Darek,” Livia announces.

They both turn to stare at each other.

“Darek?” Sen echoes.

“You want to talk now?” Livia says with a hint of nerves.

They stare again. Then look away.

Noctis jumps on the bed, pauses as he seems to sense the atmosphere before he jumps back down and belly crawls under the bed with his toy to avoid whatever was happening up top.

Darek’s sudden whimper breaks up the stone wall of tension. His little face crumbles as his fist balls up before he lets out a small little wail that quickly rises in volume after a sharp intake of breath.

Livia and Sen move in unison. As she gathers her baby up and shushes him, looking for her sack, Sen reaches inside and pulls out a cloth diaper, and hands it over to her with a wrinkled nose.

She snorts at his expression, “You can dull down your sense of smell if it stinks so bad,” She comments, amused.

Sen makes grimaces, “Dulling one sense, dulls them all. I cannot afford that luxury at the moment,” His ears flicker on his head, turning in the direction behind him. Then he gets up from the bed and walks to the door as his features shift back into one of a stranger. Livia takes the hint and casts her own illusion over herself and her son as Sen opens the door with an apologetic expression on his face.

A short and stout man's thunderous expression turns into one of surprise as his fist remains in the air to pound on the door, then he cranes his neck up to meet Sen's eyes and takes a small step back.

“Is there something wrong, sir?” Sen asks, tilting his head to the side and blinking wide grey eyes as pink hair falls around his face.

“Is something-” The man takes another step back, seeing how Sen easily takes up the doorframe with his form, before his expression turns angry, “Yes there is something wrong! I was just settling in for a nap when a piercing ruckus woke me up!” He peers inside the room, craning his neck to the side to see behind Sen, and spots Livia rocking her squirming and crying baby on the bed.

He points rudely at her.

“How long do you intend to let that thing make a disturbance! Hush it up before I file a complaint at the desk!” The short man demands heatedly, glowering at her, “I can’t believe that let a baby in here! If I had known that this establishment was so lenient, I would not have spent my hard-earned money on-” The man's fuming words drop off in a splutter as a shadow falls over him. His small eyes round as Sen smiles brightly.

“Well, that is unfortunate,” Sen says, seemingly sympathizing.

The stout man puffs up his chest, “Of course it is! Now, have your woman shut up her welp or else I will-”

Sen steps forward as his smile widens, “But be that as it may, I cannot control when our child begins to cry, nor can I make him stop at the drop of a hat, as he is only a baby and does not know any better. I’m sorry, but it seems you will just have to tolerate the noise level from now on.”

To prove the said point, Darek lets out an angry screech and kicks out his feet as Livia patiently begins to change him on the bed while blocking his little body from view. She pays no mind to the confrontation happening, her sole focus on her son as she talks to him in a low voice.

“I will complain-” The man growls weakly.

Sen closes the door in his face after leveling him another peaceful smile. He locks it and casts a spell over it before his face morphs back into his own.

Livia glance over at the tingle of magic in the air, “A privacy charm?” She notes, frowning. It wasn’t the greatest. Even without reaching out and sensing it, she could tell. She would have to replace it with one of her own. Or, better yet, teach Sen a superior version.

Sen sits down on the bed and sighs, “It’s the best I can do,” He admits, reluctantly.

“It’s shit,” Livia states, then she pauses, looks down at the dirty cloth diaper, and then snorts, shaking her head at herself.

Sen muster up a smirk, bemused as well.

“Whatever, you know what I meant,” She huffs, rolling her eyes. She then looks to the soiled diaper, contemplating it, before she shrugs and waves her hands over it. It deflates, the mess inside being banished to the outside garbage before it lightens in color, becoming clean once more.

Livia figured since she had a limited amount of cloth diapers, she was not in the position to be throwing them out. But she also wasn’t eager to clean them by hand. Truly, magic was a wondrous gift. She uses another spell to diffuse the air and the crinkle and Sen’s brow smooth out.

Her son kicks at her bent knees with his sock feet, still crying and she shushes him and gathers him up.

“Can you get the bassinet for me from the sack?” She asks Sen as she lays Darek on her chest and leans back.

“Hn,” Sen pulls out the bassinet with pearly lace and a hint of blue and sets it on the bed.

“The stand should be inside as well,” Livia says softly as Darek’s whimpers finally die down.

Sen dives back inside the bag, his whole arm disappearing before the mouth of the plain brown sack widens and a white vine stand materializes. Sen moves it close to the side of the queen-size bed and places the custom-made bassinet on top of it. Instead of returning to the bed, Sen puts on his boots and places a plain black cloak over his shoulders. He gathers up a few of the weapons he had taken out and they disappear under it.

At Livia’s questioning look, he says, “I’m going to check out the city for a bit, see if your father’s men have managed to track us here.”

She nods, “Good idea.”

Sen pauses at the door, “Do you need anything?”

“Nope.” Livia tucks a soft blanket around Darek, not looking up as she stares down at her son with soft eyes.

“...make sure you get some rest.”

“Hmm?” She hums, not really paying attention.

“Get some sleep. You look like you could kill over at any second.” Sen snaps suddenly before he leaves. Despite his reply, he closes the door softly after morphing his features back into her supposed husband.

Livia stares at the closed door blankly.

Hmm. That was almost cute. Tentatively, she raises up the wall she had placed between herself in Sen, reaching out mentally to touch the blood pact.

It purrs.

She snatches her hand back and retreats as if she had been burned. She places the mental barrier down and curls into a small protective ball around Darek. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to rock her son to sleep, or if she was rocking herself.

Slowly, her baby curious damp eyes droop, until he is breathing softly against her chest, a comforting weight.

At least she somehow how managed to postpone the talk as she has been dubbing it in her mind, for a little while longer. It will give her time to sort out her thoughts.

Livia lets her head falls back to rest against the headboard, stares up at the room around her, and decides to sleep while she can. She shifts and shuffles across the bed and gently places Darek into the bassinet on his back before she scoots it closer until it was touching the edge of the bed before she settles down herself.

In the quiet, Noctis wiggles from under the bed, scans the room, before he jumps up and snuggles up against her back.

The three all settle down for a much-needed nap.

----------------------------------------

By the time Sen returns, it is dark out and the Marigold Tavern is in full swing. Every table is full and the main room swirls with many voices as the warm glow of candles light up the faces of those coming and going.

Sen heads straight up to the room he shares with Livia and pauses when he notices the privacy charm had been replaced with a much stronger one. He unlocks it with his key and suppresses a shiver when he can feel old, earthy fingers ghost over his being, examining him carefully before releasing him and allowing him to step into the dark room.

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As he closes and locks the door behind him, a candle by the bed flickers to life.

“How close were they?” Livia asks in greeting, sitting up in the dim light, clearly wide awake. She had changed out of her dress into one of her many black nightgowns while her purple hair was a wild, untamed waterfall that hugged her pale face.

“They had begun questioning the town folk while carrying a sketch of our likeness,” Sen says as he moves around the room, removing his cloak and used weapons.

Livia's keen eyes spot the wet glint of blood even in the dark, “You confronted them?”

“No,” Sen wipes off his weapons carefully and returns them to his bag, “I ran into a few ambitious men.”

“Oh,” Livia says duly before her face splits in a yawn.

“Why are you up? It’s late,” Sen states as he casually removes his shirt. He feels eyes rake over his back, checking blatantly for new injuries. He replaces his shirt with another and turns as he pulls it down. Purple eyes meet his own and Livia has the grace to look a bit sheepish.

“Can’t sleep,” She yawns again, “I did manage to, a bit, but only for an hour at a time, if that,” Livia reaches into the occupied bassinet by her side, adjusting something before she pulls her hand back and slumps into the headboard with slowly blinking eyes, “It’s even harder to sleep now,” She says softly, “With Darek by my side, I can’t help but be on constant alert.”

Sen wasn’t all that happy to hear it and scowls.

Livia needed to recover and in order to do that, she needed to get proper rest. However, she wasn’t healing from any old injury. She had given birth and now had a newborn who was entirely dependent on her, complicating things.

Sen was not fond of complexity.

He prefers things to be simplistic and straightforward.

Of course, since Livia stole into his life, such days are a thing of the past that he is increasingly becoming distant to.

“Don’t make that face,” Livia grumbles as she rubs tiredly at her eyes, “I actually tried this time. But it’s impossible. I can’t do it,” A small noise comes from the bassinet and she jolts up like she has been electrocuted, checking over her son.

Sen strains his own feline ears, his body tensing up. But all he hears is a quiet steady breath, small and feeble, and the impossible fast heartbeat of a new life. He lets out an annoyed breath at himself at the same time Livia collapses back in the bed with a groan.

“Ugh, at this rate, I will never know the bliss of sleeping for five hours straight until Darek is older,” Her whiny words are muffled by the fabric.

“You’re a mother now,” Sen says, forcing himself to relax, “You have a son you must nature until he can fend for himself.”

It was a strange thought, even after months of knowing it was inevitable. Stranger still was the fact that Livia, the woman he has come to realize as a fury of chaos reincarnated, was a surprisingly competent mother. Sen knew that she had been carefully instructed by Beth, but still, he had still expected a moment of unsureness upon Livia giving birth, a moment of hesitance, but there was none.

Livia took to her child almost immediately and cared for him with a seemingly endless amount of patience and love Sen had only seen her direct to her little sister, Liliana.

It was...startling.

Because Sen had seen the same face that was now softening into something young and sweet, harden and age into a withering rage right before his eyes.

How could so much darkness live alongside something so light and pure in a single entity?

Sen didn’t understand it.

The clash, the difference, the sheer starkness of the two facets. Hatred and love. Somehow, the two live in harmony inside of Livia, without one overtaking the other.

“Is it weird?”

Sen blinks lazily at Livia, “What is?”

“Me, being a mother,” she says, sitting up again. Her face glows like fairy dust in the single candlelight as soft shadows dance along it. Sen stares as the feather purple of Livia’s lowered eyelashes meets gold.

“Be honest,” She coaxes when he does not say anything immediately, “You have seen me at my worst, crying and raging at the world while I bumble about, trying to gather evidence while I had been wrestling with my pregnancy.” She continues on in her unique mix of proper eloquence and casual drawl, “You had even seen me kill.” Her expression flickers.

“How many faces have I shown you now?” Livia wonders with an unamused chuckle.

“...” Sen's eyes drift to the only window in the room, the curtains pulled away to let in the starlight.

“It is strange,” he says honestly and starts a slow trek across the room as his eyes find Livia’s, “When I first met you, it was like a tornado had hit, here one minute, causing all kinds of destruction and gone the next.”

“Your life would have been so much better if you hadn’t followed me,” Livia states, and her expression and words cut like a piece of broken glass. Her eyes drop as she sighs, “Maybe, probably,” She mutters, “Sure, you would have just been another extension of Amelia, but it isn’t all as bad as I made it out to be.”

“As a target?” Sen says scornfully, “As a man whose sole purpose into being created was to love a single woman who many others seek out as well?”

Livia shrugs and he pays no mind to how the motion causes the sleeve of her nightgown to fall.

“Unlike some of the others, you have a purpose beyond loving Amelia,” Livia points out, “You are a spy. You become a rather important component in the OG storyline.”

“And then what?” Sen questions thinly, “What happens after?”

Livia's shoulders drop further, “You return back to how your life was before,” she says quietly, “Only after everything is said and done, you become a war hero of Wisteria and your home country. You garner fame and acclaim for fighting in the war, just like all the other targets who manage to survive it.”

“Some don’t come out alive?” Sen cuts in.

Livia sneers, “Of course not. Someone has to play sacrifice and throw their life away for the precious heroine,” She leans forward with a mean smile, “As you might have guessed, it is never the one she chooses to be with.”

“How many?” Sen questions.

“It’s not Roy,” Livia assures him, “You know he is too smart to be used like that, even for the person he loves.”

“Livia.”

“So, it is weird that I am now a mother,” She says, breaking eye contact with him and raising her knees to hug them, “I also think so. I was never a parent in any of my previous lives. The closest I had come to being one was when I helped my sister raise her kids in my first one,” Livia continues on, returning back to her prior question.

“I always thought that I had a good idea of what becoming a mother would be like because of my previous experience, but it doesn’t even come close to how I imagined it to be,” She mutters.

Sen massages his temples, irritated at the abrupt change in topic. Still, he lets it go and shoves back the words that rose up in his throat with practices ease.

“Regardless of how you thought it would be, it seems your past has helped in this case,” Sen says, finally making it back to the bed and sitting at the end of it. From his new position, he spots glowing purple eyes hidden under the dresser and Noctis greets him in a slow blink before slinking back into the shadows.

“You did it again.”

“What.” Sen stares straight ahead, easily seeing in the darkness of the room.

“That was not what you had really wanted to say, was it?” Livia accuses blandly.

Ah. So, it was finally coming around to that again.

“No,” The words come out like a compulsion, “It was not.” He snaps his teeth shut and glares at Livia as the bond between them suddenly flares up like white-hot lava, coming alive like a sleeping volcano erupting without any warning.

She meets his glare head-on, her eyes blazing, “I know you can feel it,” She says coldly, “How it has changed and turned into something that it shouldn’t be. The blood pact was only to act as insurance. Not whatever the hell it is now.” Her palm was up and turned towards him, the red line deep and ingrained into her hand as if it has always been a part of her body.

“You are right, you know,” Livia adds, “To be offended by your pre-destined future and your role in the OG story. If I was in your shoes, I would have been angry too. But the thing is Sen,” She leans forward, her words a lowered hiss, “I can’t help but wonder what makes what you are doing now so different than what you would have been doing if you never met me?”

“You are still following and protecting a woman you feel responsible for, you are still putting yourself and your life at risk for a woman you feel compelled to,” Livia runs a rough hand through her hair, curling it into a fist as she tugs it with a dark expression whirling with a storm of emotions.

“What is so different between me and Amelia? What is so different between me and anyone else on this damn planet!?” She drops her hand as her eyes flicker up and away, avoiding his silent gaze as she rocks herself.

“The answer is obvious, isn’t it?” Livia says stonily, “I’m no different than Amelia or anyone else in this world. Fuck, I’m not even worth being called just anyone as I am pretty damn sure it is not normal to want to kill someone in a bid of vengeance or to actually kill someone because they were an annoyance that needed to be dealt with like a damn fly in the house!” She snarls.

“And do you know what is worse?” Livia's eyes lock onto him, wide, watery and manic, “It’s the fact that I know that this is just the beginning. Everything leading up to this moment, to the birth of my son, was just a motherfucking prelude.”

“And yet, for some bizarre reason, you, Beth, Liliana, and even Amaya, still want to stand by my side even after knowing how dangerous it is,” She shakes her head at Sen and when a tear falls down her cheek, she drops it down to her knees, hiding her expression from view.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Livia balls her fingers into the scratchy covers of the bed, shoving her face further into her legs as she begins to tremble.

Between them the bond fluctuates and stagnates, coming to life and retreating into a cold emptiness in an unsteady and sickening rhythm. For a millisecond, the bond opens as the barriers are ripped down between them and Sen gets his breath knocked right out of him as Livia’s emotions slam on top of his own without warning before being peeled away before he could even begin to pick apart the whirlwind.

“You all need to stay away from me,” Livia growls, shaking her head, “It’s going to get worst. It’s going to get dangerous; I know it will,” She suddenly raises her head, her purple eyes wet and unseeing.

She looks so lost.

And Sen gives up.

He decides to stop holding himself back, right then and there.

Before he could even register what he was going to do, he is by Livia’s side and pulling her into his arms in a tight hug. She struggles at first on instinct, shoving a sharp elbow in his gut, before she sinks like a ragdoll into his chest, burying her face into it as her arms come up to return the embrace, her fingers clinging onto his shirt.

“This too,” Livia mutters, turning her head to press her ear over his heart, “This will need to end as well.”

“Why?”

Sen meets her incredulous stare head-on.

He tightens his arms around her, nearly causing Livia to fall right into his lap as he begins to circle his hand into her back in what he hoped was a soothing motion. He raises his other hand to wipe away the tears on her face a bit clumsily. She doesn’t move her head away and he ends up cradling her cheek as she continues to gawk at him.

“What do you mean why?” Livia asks, blinking rapidly.

“Do you hate it?” Sen asks in reply.

She balks, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything?” Sen says slowly as if she was stupid.

“It isn’t real,” Livia says defensively, “None of it is. The only reason we even started doing this,” She gestures between the nonexistence space between them, “In the first place was because it was simply more convenient to pretend to be lovers or husband and wife when we had traveled. But now it’s...”

“Do you hate it?” Sen asks again, leaning his face down so their forehead meets, so she couldn’t avoid his eyes.

Livia growls and glares right into them, keeping stubbornly quiet.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” He presses on, his hard tone softening.

She sneers, “If it did, you would have known a long time ago.”

Sen inclines his head knowingly. Livia has always hidden many things in the same breath she seemed to reveal too much. She was a walking contradiction and at times, it was difficult discerning what was truth and what was simply a reflection of it. However, rarely has she put up with something she loathed unless it was absolutely necessary.

“I don’t hate it.”

Glowing yellow meets purple for a second before Livia drops her eyes.

“But...” She trails off again.

“It’s strange,” Livia finds her voice again, pulling away to lean her head against his shoulder, “I can’t remember when this...closeness between us started or why it continued even when we no longer needed to put on a show, but somehow, it felt so natural that I didn’t really start to question it until we came back to Wisteria.”

“Do you hate it?” She suddenly throws his question back at him, her eyes flickering up.

“No,” Sen answers instantly, with little need to think twice about it.

Livia lifts her head, “Why not?”

A prod comes along the blood pact, curious and seeking, like a small door peeking open.

Sen shrugs. He didn’t know how to put the feeling into words and does not bother trying. Instead, he communicates with the only other wat he knows how.

He lets his mental shields come down like a great wall folding onto itself.

“It wasn’t just your words you were holding back,” Livia says with round eyes as the bond flares up between them, revealing for the first time all that it truly was. She stares at him in muted surprise, “How long have you been able to guard yourself against the blood pact?”

Sen barely stops himself from sighing. Of course, that was what would draw her attention first. He resists retreating mentally, feeling raw and exposed, and decides to answer honestly.

“I learned it two months ago.”

When he had gone directly against the compulsion or the fifth term of the blood pact, it was like his brain started to itch with the need to reveal the truth. However, Sen realized when he moved along with it and redirect it to an honest answer that wasn’t necessarily one he wished to reveal, the fifth term of the blood pact was rendered moot.

Livia had known of this weakness from the very beginning. It was why she had been so willing to hold herself to the same terms as Sen. Once he learned of the blood pact shortcoming, it had only been a matter of time before he realized he could go a step further and blockade it. Once learned, it was only then that Sen realize that the blood pact had been blocked and restrained from Livia’s side from the very beginning as well.

She had never intended for them to be on equal footing.

And for what he had done to her, Sen couldn’t exactly blame her. Even after all this time they had spent together. Livia’s trust was not easily given back once it had been broken. Sen had realized it the moment she had towered over him with such tenebrosity after the truth potion had worn off in the forest.

“Two months,” Livia says weakly and laughs, “Doesn’t that just line up perfectly to the moment I lost my fucking magic?” She shoves Sen away entirely, a pissed-off look on her face.

“I wouldn’t have been able to feel the pact between us during that time, I would have been able to know if something was wrong with it...” Livia's fingers drag through her hair, messing it up further as she chuckles coldly, “Two months. That is plenty of time to get up to something nefarious. Fuck.”

He could practically see her mind throw itself back into the past, going over every interaction they ever had, studying it with new perceived eyes.

Sen just stares at her like a wizen sage, waiting for the moment when she would realize.

“What the fuck are you hiding?” Livia suddenly snaps, still in a low hiss. Even now, as angry as she was, she did not want to wake up her son. She stares at Sen in deep suspicion. Then she reaches out and he lets her snatch up his hand with no resistance, waiting as his never-ending patience for the past couple of months finally reaches its melting point.

Livia captures his wrist in a steely grip, her small hand barely circling it and she hovers her marked palm over his.

She hesitates, her expression stuttering as a flash of crippling sorrow drips over her like spilled ink before she washes it away with the waves of anger. Before she could grab his other hand, Sen reaches up and entwines their fingers, aligning the red slash of their palms together himself.

The blood pact between them erupts once more, roaring to life like a monstrous end of days volcano. The barriers are ripped away once more, but this time it walls are burned and sink into melted ash as the lava continues to flow, devouring everything in its path and not allowing anything to be hidden.

Livia gasps, flinching back from the onslaught, but Sen refuses to let her go, gritting his own teeth as he tightens his grip around hers.

Their emotions ram into each other at full speed, crashing and tearing themselves apart before rolling into a fiery mess that becomes indiscernible. Where did Livia end and where did Sen begin? The lines blur, burned off the face of the world as the fire turns into a hurricane that swallows them whole.

Then comes the flashes, bits, and pieces at first, speeding at the sound of light, before it slows, lengthens, as they take each other's place and get a glimpse into each other's perspectives.

Livia's suspicions of Sen are obliterated when she sees all that he has in a blink.

From the very beginning and up until now, he has proven himself again and again. He had watched over when she had slept in the forest. He had helped her gather intel without question. He had fought alongside her, his back to hers. He carried her when she had been too tired, and never complained when her pregnancy symptoms had gotten the best of her. Hell, he even helped her give birth. She sees her son fall right into Sen's steady arm, letting out his first cry.

And then Livia rips her hand away from his and slams down a mental block so absolute and sudden, Sen feels as if he had been propelled into the vacuum of space to die slowly, frozen, and suddenly very alone.

They fall away from each other, collapse, and breathe hard on the bed.

“...Sen,” Livia tries to start weakly, her voice completely devoid of the previous venom.

“No.”

“Just let me-”

“No.”

She cringes at his blistering expression.

“...Why?” Livia seems to can’t help but to ask, the words dragging out of her the moment she musters up the courage to gaze up at his face, she shakes her head, clearly not comprehending, “Why would you put yourself through all that and go out of your way to help me just to-”

“Guilt,” Sen says tonelessly.

Livia raises herself until she was sitting again, her face drained of all emotion, “Ah,” She says dully, “So I was right.”

“About the fact that the only reason I had decided to stay by your side was that I felt crippling guilt about using a truth potion on a woman who was obviously running away from something and forced the said woman to reveal the truth behind her strange nature even after she told me to stop?” Sen says in one cold stoic rush, “Yes. You were right.”

Livia smiles bitterly, “So it seems.”

“However, that wasn’t the reason I followed you halfway across the sea.”

“To learn the truth?” She says flatly.

“Yes and no.”

Livia levels a look at him.

“I needed a motive behind my actions,” Sen says, looking away with a tsk.

“It was because I was interesting wasn’t it?” Livia says in monotone.

“You had known where the teleportation circle was, you had known who I was and had forced me to shift back using some strange magic I had never seen before after jumping me only to act like a complete nut case until the moment you disappeared from my sight,” Sen says in explanation.

“If anything, shouldn’t all of that have given you a reason not to follow me,” Livia says with a judgmental look.

“...I was bored.”

She throws up her hands, “Of for fucks sake. You really are just checking all the cliché boxes at this point.”

“I wanted to know more about you, but I wasn’t willing to admit to the fact that was why I chased you down so I made it into a mission,” Sen snaps, leveling a scowl her way, “Not to mention the fact that you had blown through my cover like it was nothing, compromising me.”

Livia just sighs and just says, “Okay.”

“After my mistake with the truth potion, I had decided to follow you around to shake my guilty conscious, but I quickly realize that blood pact was going to be a problem,” Sen explains.

“So, you figured out how to speak the truth while not actually speaking the truth,” Livia summarizes.

“Hn, like you had known to do all along,” Sen says it like a statement.

Livia smiles is all teeth, “It is like I had said before; you fucked up, and in response, I fucked you over. I don’t think I could have made it any clearer than that if I wanted to.”

Sen bares his teeth right back at her. She wasn’t even trying to deny it. The thought brings about sardonic amusement, as it was not a new fact that Livia could be as sly and slippery as they come, especially to those she perceives as an enemy and wasn’t the least be shamed face in displaying what lays under the surface.

“And yet, even after coming to this realization, why the hell were you still against breaking the pact!?” Livia asks, tilting her head to stare at him sideways, “I gave you an out before the trial. I was willing to let you go.”

“Because I was a burden you didn’t want to put up with?” Sen says knowingly.

Livia's eyes narrow, “Yes,” She hisses out viciously, “You still are.”

Anyone else would take great offense and be hurt upon hearing those words from a companion they had been with for over five months. Especially when said companion hadn’t hesitated to use him when she had need of him. And maybe even Sen wouldn’t have been able to take them with a grain of salt himself if he had heard them thirty minutes prior. It would have felt like re-opening a still-healing wound.

But now.

Knowing all that he did.

Sen just smirks coldly, “And what about Amaya and Beth? Do you intend to let them go as well?”

Livia lifts her chin, “Of course. You are not an exception to the rule. Once I free Beth and live up to the promise I made to Amaya, I will send them on their way. Thinking on that,” She snaps her fingers and a book fly's out of her sack and into her hands, “Here you go. As stated by the fourth term, this is all you need to know about the other targets,” She tries to hand it to him with a fake smile.

Sen eyes it, “If I touch that I will burn it to a crisp,” To prove his point, blue fire sparks to life in his hands, casting an eerie glow on his face.

She hastily hugs the book to her chest, then she winces from the soreness and drops it onto her lap.

“What about Liliana?”

Livia grumbles, “What about her?”

“Will you also release her from the peril of staying by your side?” Sen asks casually, ending the spell.

Livia stares down at the book in her lap, silent.

“You practically raised her, didn’t you? After your son, your little sister is the one you want to keep safe at all cost, isn’t she?” Sen prods, “However, isn’t that impossible if she stays by your side, according to you? Won’t she also become a burden like the rest of us? Oh, apologies,” Sen says, clearing his throat, “Did I say burden? I meant a liability.”

Livia glares a hole in his face, her eyes burning ice, “What the hell are you trying to get at, Sen?” She says dangerously, “You, Beth, and Amaya are more than capable of protecting yourself. I’m sorry to say this, but you are nowhere in the same category as my sister or my son.”

“Because you can protect and take responsibility for them without feeling a sense of dread hanging around your neck?” Sen asks lightly. Then he tilts his head as if pondering something, “No, that wasn’t right. I believe the thought was likened to guilt and shame curling up like parasitic worms in your belly, slowly eating away your self-consciousness,” He recalls callously.

Livia flinches back, her eyes blinking slowly as she stares at him in alarm.

Sen only have seconds before she shuts him out completely, so he treads on, “You said it before, earlier, that you felt like you weren’t any better than Amelia or anyone else in this world,” slowly, he reaches out to her and presses his hand against her cool cheek, “You think you don’t have any right to have people by your side to help you, because by doing so, it would make you no different than the heroine who is dependent on the grace and love of others. And you think killing those who wished to harm you and wanting revenge doesn’t make you any different from the princes, who saw you as an adversary that needed to be removed in order to protect the one they loved.”

She sits still next to him, her whole expression frozen.

“You aren’t wrong,” Sen says quietly.

Livia’s expression shatters in response and she closes her eyes as if in pain as her lips tremble.

“But you aren’t right, either,” He continues somberly.

“I...” She doesn’t seem to know what to say to that. She turns her head away and her face is cast into the dark as Sen drops his hand.

“How far did you get into my head?” Livia asks quietly, after a drawn-out pause.

She was changing the subject once again. Avoidance. He realized it was something she did often. When she couldn't fight the problem head-on, she would retreat until she could arm herself with the right weapons.

“About as far as you got into mines,” Sen says, understanding that he had hit a wall. He had only skimmed through her most recent thoughts, but even those had been revealing.

“It was a clever scheme,” She mutters, still not looking at him, “The way you used the pact as a cover. In such a short amount of time, you have learned quite a bit.”

“Blocking the pact bond was something I had to learn through trial and error. While doing so, I found out how to do a few other things,” Sen explains.

“It’s impressive but at the same time, it was dangerous for an amateur like yourself to try traverse into my mind, even as shallowly as you had,” Her hair falls like a curtain around her face, blocking it from view, “You shouldn’t have done so, Sen. You put yourself at risk. If the pact hadn’t been present...” She doesn’t continue, letting the warning drop like a stone between them. She slumps over further as if to curl up on herself.

“You’re right,” Sen admits readily, downcasting his own gaze for the first time that night, properly chastised.

Livia says nothing to this, going silent once more.

He wants to reach out to her, to draw her back to him, but he reads the signs she displays as if he was staring at a reflection of his own body. She was closing herself off to him and the pact between them has become nearly completely cold and stale.

Sen had pushed too hard. His hands clench at his side as he stares out into the dimly lit room.

“You never told me why you wanted to stay by my side," she says suddenly, glancing over at him through her hair.

“I never said that I did,” Was his automatic response. Then he nearly bites his tongue as he silently curses himself.

“Then lets’ end it,” Livia's hands come into view, palm up, with the red line on display.

“...no.”

“This again,” Livia drags a hand over her face, looking weary.

“I’m invested now,” Sen says, haltingly.

“Right,” Her hair falls over her shoulder as she stares down at the book in her lap, “It’s not like I can actually break the pact. Not until all the terms we agreed on is met.”

His shoulders relax minutely.

“Not unless I am willing to risk myself to do it.”

“Livia-”

She tosses the book carelessly onto the bed and turns to face him, capturing his hand.

“So be it.”

“That is the last thing I want to do,” Sen scowls, snatching his hand away, “I won’t let you hurt yourself.”

Livia stares at her empty hand, curling her fingers until it was a fist, “You can’t stay by my side, Sen,” she tells him tersely, “Neither will I let Beth or Amaya.”

“You have never been the type to hold your tongue," He points out coolly, “When will you say what you actually mean?”

Her hand comes up to brush her hair out of her face so she could glare venomously at him better, “That’s not funny,” she tells him, “Especially not now.”

Sen flounders a bit at this and turns inward.

Why did he feel so desperate to stay by her side?

Enough to reveal his own hand and drop the walls between them. It had been in an effort to overcome the strange tangle of a relationship he has shared with Livia these past months. Though it had done him little good in the end. At most, it absolves any remaining suspicion Livia had of him, but in order to do that, he had to force her hand and got scolded for his efforts like a child getting caught stealing by his mother.

If anything, shouldn’t he be eager to leave after he had absolved himself of his guilt? Shouldn’t he be happy that she was willing to release him from the pact that bound them together, allowing him to return to his life with valuable information in exchange for his service to her? It was a fair trade. One that he hadn’t even deserved.

So, what if things felt unresolved and open-ended? So, what if he felt unsatisfied with this solution? Livia was giving him an out. Hell, she was all but trying to push him out of the door herself.

Sen should feel mollified, but instead, he only felt restless and irritated.

He felt like he was hanging over the edge of a cliff with a rope threatening to be cut loose before he could even try to figure out anything properly.

The relationship between them was bothersome and brought him nothing but headaches and graceless work, but Sen could not let go of the feeling that he had only a glimpse at the top of a mountain peeking out from a dark unknown ocean. That if he truly wished to make the split-second decision he made over seven months ago count for something, now was the time to act.

“You said we would talk,” He points out.

Livia's glare deflates into tiredness in a matter of seconds, “Is that not what we are doing now?”

It hasn’t even been an hour since they had sat down. The light, falsely close air that has always hung around them was now heavy and stained with too many unspoken words and thoughts.

Sen sighs.

Words. He was never good with them. That was why he had been so heavily reliant on feeling, but that plan has exploded right into his face, causing more harm than good. He was becoming drained, and soon, he wouldn’t be able to soldier on even if he wanted to.

Still, he didn’t want to give up. He still wished to try.

He had let things fester long enough and time had only aggravated the problem.

“You don’t have to protect us,” Sen recalls what Livia had said earlier.

“What?” She was obviously not on the same wavelength anymore.

“Beth, Amaya, and I,” He clarifies, returning back to the heart of the matter, “We aren’t your responsibility. If we chose to stay by your side, then that is our choice to make.”

“No, it isn’t,” Livia says, shaking her head, “It was mine. I was the one who brought you all on. I was the one who recruited you to help me because I couldn’t help myself. If something were to happen to either of you-”

“I don’t think Amelia thinks that way.”

“What does she have to do with anything?” She snaps, staring at him in angry confusion.

“You had compared yourself to her,” Sen says simply, “But that woman isn’t the type to think twice about the peril she causes all of her suitors.”

“Sure, she does,” Livia says instantly, and begins to count on her fingers, “When Roy eventually takes a dagger to the shoulder trying to protect her, she will feel guilty about that. When Orin and Rodale were frantically trying to search for her in the forest after she got lost, she felt guilty for that. When Fin had to carry her all the way back to his cabin to treat her on an injured leg, she had felt guilty. When the brothers fought over...actually, no. She was more embarrassed than guilty, mostly confused. Oh, when Leighton-”

Sen has lost the plot. He watches helplessly as it derails and crashes into unseen rocks.

“And that was also that other time when-” Livia has both hands out, flicking out her thumb as she rambles on.

Abort. Try a different route.

“You don’t need to compare yourself with anyone,” Sen says.

Livia blinks owlishly, raising her eyes up from her hands, “Huh?”

“You are just you,” He soldiers on.

“...I mean,” Livia looks herself up and down before snorting, “Obviously. It’s not like many people in this world can claim to know about their previous lives.”

Sen stares at her drearily.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I regained my memories?” Livia asks as light drops into her dull eyes like a fallen star, “It had been awful. It felt like my fucking head was going to get split into. I can’t believe I actually walked around like nothing was wrong, talking and schmoozing to the very same people who would watch me be dragged away like a fool.”

She was diverting again, skittering away as she gets swept away by memories. Sen sits back and listens. He lets the tension seep out of himself as her voice flows over him.

Livia shakes her head at her past self, “Honestly, looking back, I had wasted so much time trying to please others and I couldn’t even get that right. I was such a spoiled little shit; you would have hated the person I was before I had gotten my memories, Sen. I was a huge cunt. Like, I’m talking about a full-fledged bitch witch who would rage and throw fits at a drop of a hat. Adanna had nothing on me. She is a cute little angel in comparison. Oh, hell,” Livia's eyes widen as a smile falls on her lips, “I’m pretty sure I had bitten the princess when I was five at a tea party hosted by the late queen. Wow, how am I just remembering this? No wonder she hates me.”

She went from somber to thoughtful to mildly bemused all in under a few minutes.

Sen is no longer taken by surprise by the rollercoaster of emotions nor is he left dumbfounded and lost as Livia continues her tangent, her expression brightening as she recalls her past.

It’s entirely too easy to be swept away by her.

Tentatively, he reaches out, opening his arms. Livia's smile broadens as she scoots closer to him, talking about her first time in White Castle as she leans her head against his shoulder.

“I actually hated Orin and Rodale when we first met. The two brats had been running around like hellions and shattered my favorite porcelain doll. Of course, the only reason I brought it with me was to show it off to Adanna, but that is beside the point.”

The tension shy's away, waiting for another opportunity to present itself.

“When Lynette had told me that I was to be engaged to the crown prince, I had been so ecstatic. But then I realized who I was to marry in the future, and by then, it was too late. I had already exacted revenge for my precious doll,” Livia's smile dulls, “And Rodale had come to hate me.”

“Turn out, the bear I had destroyed was the last item the late queen had given to him,” She chuckles coldly, “To top it off, Rodale didn’t find out until the anniversary of the queen’s death. On that same day, it was announced to the kingdom that I was to be engaged to him. No doubt Grail had hoped for it to be a beacon of hope. But all it had done was sour peoples' stomachs.”

Sen doesn’t know what to say to that. He could offer no words of comfort or reassurance that wouldn’t fall flat. And even if he could, he doubts Livia would have appreciated them anyway.

“I was a horrible person in the past.”

He wraps his arms tighter around her shoulders as her hand finds his own. Their fingers tangle together.

“And I am a horrible person in the present.”

Livia turns her head. Sen meets her gaze head-on.

She smiles mournfully.

“What?” She asks, “No protests?” She laughs. A tear drops down her cheek.

Sen opens his mouth; he rakes his brain for the right words.

Livia shakes her head, “Don’t.” Her forehead falls to his shoulder, hiding her expression.

“It’s the truth. We both know it. That is why you need to leave my side.”

“Because you think it is dangerous,” Sen says blandly, already dead tired of this argument.

“No,” Livia lifts her head, her face a dark scowl, “Because I am.”

His face spasms, landing somewhere between disbelief and dry amusement, “You can’t be serious.”

Her lips twitch, her eye flickering over his face as she tries to keep it serious, “I am.”

“Livia-”

“Do you remember what I did to you when we first met?”

Sen's mouth clicks closed.

“I forced you to transform, Sen. You-your bones broke. I could hear them as they snapped and reshaped. And what about all those things I did to those men who had pursued us. I killed them. I didn’t let a single one escape."

“We didn’t let a single one escape,” Sen corrects curtly.

Livia just sighs, “You know what I mean.”

He did.

But even so, “I know what you are capable of Livia. I know what you have done and I also know why you did it,” He tells her, “I didn’t run away then, and I sure as hell am not about to start now.”

“You may think that, but that doesn’t mean Amaya and Beth will as well,” She points out.

“Then you will simply have to wait until you can ask them and find out yourself. Assumptions will get you nowhere.”

Livia glares at him weakly, “I can’t risk either of you-”

“As I have already said, that isn’t for you to decide.”

Livia's glare gains heat, so does his.

They are once again at a stalemate.

Sen looks away first, muttering, “This isn’t how I thought this conversation would go.”

“How else could it have gone?” Livia grumbles and practically throws herself back into his arms, burying her face into his chest as she leans her body weight onto him. He doesn’t budge, easily taking it on without batting an eye. He raises his hand and pats her head the same way he would Noctis.

“You need us,” Sen has run out of steam, his sentences shortening, “You can’t do this alone.”

“I probably could,” Livia says, challenging.

“But by doing so, you would spread yourself thin, leaving gaps for your enemies to take advantage of.”

“I still could-” Livia's eyes suddenly widen, “Enemies...” Then she smirks like a fox that just caught prey, “Enemies...of course, how could I be so stupid!?” She smacks herself upside the head, “Duh! Just use my fucking enemies!”

Sen has no idea what she is going on about and just resolves to continue to pet her placidly. His brain has gone on strike. It did not sign up to emotionally support someone as stunted as himself.

“Your right,” Livia says.

Sen blinks.

Wait.

“What?”

“I should keep you, Amaya, and Beth by my side,” She continues on, “No, I will.”

Sen stares. Blink again. His hand pauses midair.

“What?” He says again.

“I can’t do it on my own, and I didn’t want any of you by my side unless I could guarantee your safety like I could with Liliana and my son from outside forces and even myself, if need be,” Livia says.

This was progress.

“That is why I had intended to push you all away after I had given birth.”

Right?

“But now, I realize that I don’t need to. You were right all along Sen. I knew that, but, wanting something and actually getting to have it...I don’t know. It seemed impossible.”

This was a good thing.

“But now, I realize I can just use the blood pact and use the Royal House of Silvan as humans shields for not only myself but you all as well.”

Right??

Sen felt like the carpet had been ripped right from underneath him.

“Well, I guess that solves that,” Livia says and detangles herself from him. She pats his shoulder fondly, “It was a good talk,” she says before scrambling away and towards the bed. She checks the bassinet and seemingly pleased about the state her son was in, she beings to get under the covers of the bed.

“We should go to sleep. We need to start looking for Beth first thing in the morning,” Livia says and lays down.

Confounded, Sen just stares in the empty space she once occupied. Suddenly, an avalanche of words dangles at the edge of his tongue, ready to be spoken.

“Here, don’t forget this,” Livia says, and tosses over the book she had personally made for him to him, “This is yours. You have long since earned it,” she says through a yawn.

Sen traces over the leather-bound book. His name was written on the first page.

“Livia,” He calls out.

“Hm?”

“...No. It’s nothing.”

Sen pushes the words back. They would do him no good now, jumbled up as they were. He needed time to detangle them and coarse them together in a way that made sense. And right now, he no longer had the energy to open his mouth beyond simple grunts.

He glares at nothing, his brows scrunched up.

The bed shifts, a yawn is heard, "You coming? If I need sleep, so do you," Livia says. He could feel her keen eyes on his back.

"..."

Sen sets the book on the bedside table and lays down.