___

The next few days in the hospital passed by, blurring with each nurse checkup and doctor examination. A concussion, they said, that needed to be monitored. Once I was told that, the dimmed lights in the room and the strange plastic glasses made sense. The nurses also told me that I suffered a small laceration to the right side of my head, from blunt force impact.

Probably from when I was struck in the head by the red-hooded man, I thought.

I was never able to see the stitches on my head, as the handcuffs prevented me from getting up or moving. All I could do was gently feel the rough patch of threaded skin. Sensitive to the touch, it burned along with the rest of my skull with every loud noise or bright light that crossed my path.

The next day after my visit, I received a visit from detectives. Despite trying to tell them the truth, they pushed me towards the narrative that I wasn’t responsible. Once again, I went back to not being believed again. When they left, my anxiety grew again.

Each day after that visit I grew more worried about when I’d be sent back to Arkham. The strange man said not to get my hopes up, and I knew it had only been four days, but I still couldn’t help but wait in bated breath. With each nurse who crossed the threshold, I hoped it would be the news I longed for. However, it never came.

I remained sat up in my hospital bed, using the plastic glasses granted to me to look at the piercing blue light of the hospital’s television in the corner of the room. Hung up by a metal arm of sorts, I watched Gotham’s news report in awe. Since being in solitary, I’ve only ever heard the TV play for the other juvenile inmates a few walls down from me. Incoherent voices of different shows that I could barely make out. Now, I had one right in front of me, all to myself.

The hosts of Gotham News Network talked about the different highlights of the day. Some of them grim, but also the hopeful mention of a generous donation by a place called Wayne Enterprises to various homeless charities. With each story, I couldn’t help but fixate on both of the news anchors. The woman wore her radiant blonde hair up tight and neat, her clothes formal and pressed. The male host had similar attire, wearing a black business suit with faint white lines and a red tie. His hair slicked over to the right making a black wave. Both of them were dressed to impress, and it was something I hadn’t seen in a while. All I’ve been used to were prison guard uniforms and prison attire. I guess I could add tight suits, clown masks, and red helmets to the list now.

As I watched on, my attention snapped back to focus after hearing the words being spoken by the male host.

“A few nights ago, GCP answered an anonymous tip leading to a shocking scene. An Arkham security vehicle was found crashed on North Tenth Street. Thirteen deceased were on the scene, with some bodies even being described as ‘mutilated beyond repair’ by authorities.”

With my attention unwavering, the woman spoke after her co-host.

“Police are being tight-lipped about their investigation at the present time, but can confirm that the inmate being transferred has been recaptured safely -”

Safely? I thought. I let out a light chuckle at the sentence. If safe meant by means of a concussion, they were right on point. Still, I listened on.

“Authorities say the suspect responsible for the matter was none other than a wanted fugitive, convicted killer, and smuggler Jorge Andres known by his street name ‘The Candyman.’ Police say they recovered Andres’ body a mile from the attack. It is unknown at this time who killed the criminal, but police say they are investigating the matter, as well as finding a motive for this bizarre and bloody attack.”

When the screen flashed a picture of the suspect’s mugshot, my blood became ice in my veins. There, without his mask, stood the face of my assailant. I only recognized his cold, black eyes, and bright magenta hair in messy cornrows. All of this, attached to menacing sharp features, and a twisted smile.

Candyman.

I shut my eyes and tried to block his image out of my head. Tried to push the memory of our fateful meeting out of my head. The attempts were all in vain, however, as each moment that I remembered only stirred me to the memory I hated most. The one of his death, and how I caused it.

Starting to feel the chill of my guilt, I brought my knees to my chest, hugging them with the one hand I had free. The fear of who I was, beginning to grip me again. I tried to hold on to that last glimpse of hope.

They’ll figure something out, I thought, still clinging to some form of desperate hope.

We’ll figure it out.

For a few minutes, I held myself, letting my mind get lost in another daydream. This time, there were no friends, sunsets, or light city adventures. There was only me inside an empty house, listening to pounding rain outside the windows. While sitting on the light wooden floor, I could hear my heartbeat, and feel my soul. No longer stained by the darkness inside. Only peace, and control are left in its wake. The voice gone, the melody of raindrops and thunder on the window pane. I was finally free.

Just as I started to calm down, the door flew open, almost startling me half to death. I opened my eyes abruptly, in time to see a nurse walk in. Only she wasn’t alone. A lady, roughly in her mid-forties, walked in behind her. Her attire was plain, and neutral in color, with her cardigan and bootcut pants sharing the same light coffee color. Her skin was a rich, deep brown, which shone in the bright luminous lights of the room. As she walked in chipperly, her curled hair bounced in the bun she had tied it into.

The nurse, whose name and careless attitude I came to know as Iris, looked at her clipboard before handing it to me.

“O’Harren, you are being discharged. If you could please sign here - and here, we can get started with the process.”

“Discharged?” I asked, unsure of what was happening.

“You know, when you get to leave?” Nurse Iris her eyebrow at her.

“I-I know that but… why?” I asked.

Nurse Iris shrugged. “I just get paid to deliver the paperwork. I don’t ask questions, doll.”

That was her calling card. Every time I had her come in for checkups, I knew there was a high chance I’d be called 'doll.' I had a feeling it wasn’t a term of endearment for her. More of a way to prevent herself from calling patients some other choice words.

Iris handed me a pen, and I managed to make my signature despite my writing hand being chained. I handed the clipboard back to her, which she hastily took. The nurse was about to exit the room when the unknown woman spoke up.

“Oh! Nurse, don’t forget the key please!”

Her voice was sweet and gentle. One of the most calming voices I’ve had the pleasure of hearing.

Nurse Iris rolled her eyes and nodded before exiting. Now that just left me, and the woman I didn’t know.

“Big day, huh?”

She asked me, lifting her shoulders in excitement and grinning widely at me. It was as if she was - happy for me. Something I haven’t experienced before.

“I-I guess?” I said, unsure of what was occurring still.

“Well, if I was getting out, I’d be excited!”

My silence was all I could give to her. I don’t know who this woman was, but I did know she probably didn’t understand the circumstances. I was getting out of the hospital, sure, but I would only be put in a place much worse than this one. I let out a small sigh, laying my head on my knees. Her optimism for me warmed my heart for a moment but made me feel cold all the same. She didn’t know any better, but I did. I wish I could have her ignorance. So I can feel the familiar spark of happiness just one more time.

“Nervous?” She asked, trying to tilt her head down to meet my eyes.

I didn’t know what to respond with. Of course, I was nervous. Nervous about going in another transport vehicle, and nervous about where I would spend the rest of my days. I was being thrust into more unknown circumstances. The last time that occurred, it landed me here. Listening to news stories about the damage I’ve done while in recovery from a concussion.

Just before the woman in front of me could speak again, Nurse Iris walked through the threshold, pushing a file into her hands before walking towards me in annoyance. I perked up immediately, wondering what she was doing. In my confusion, I shifted back as much as I could. Nurse Iris scoffed, and moved to the side of my bed.

“I’ve never had a patient as jumpy as you, doll. Just relax your hand.”

She motioned towards my cuffed wrist with a slight nod of her head. I attempted to comply with her orders, but before I could even untense my hand, the nurse had shoved a sliver object into the cuffs. With a small, mighty twist, I felt the cuff keeping me in place come undone.

I watched as she unlocked my cuffs, before shooting a confused glance at her.

“D-Do I need to be put in a different pair?”

“No, doll. You’re discharged, no cuffs needed. We’re reprimanding you into the care of Mrs. Delgato, your new social worker. She’ll get you set up.”

I glanced over at the woman. Her warm, welcoming smile flashed in my direction.

“I’ve already got the paperwork, Sarah. We’re good to leave.”

“But - I don’t understand. Aren’t I going back to Arkham, or somewhere?”

Nurse Iris shot the social worker a glance as if to say ‘she’s your problem now.’ As she moved to exit, she pointed to a folded pile of grey clothes, which I now realized were sitting in the chair beside me.

“There’s a change of clothes before you go. You can leave your gown on the bed.”

When Nurse Iris exited, I turned to the woman, who I came to know as my new social worker.

“Who are you?” I asked.

The lady smiled, extending out her hand to me. She walked over slowly, as if not to startle me. Something I greatly appreciated.

“My name is Sydney Delgato, nice to meet you, Sarah!”

I slowly extended my arm out to her as well, shaking her hand. As we shook, I listened to her.

“I’m going to be your - social worker? Yes! Social worker! As well as a life coach for the foreseeable future. The court figured you’d need one after being pardoned-”

“Pardoned? Like… Excused? Free to go?” Questions began piling up, as I shot them at Mrs. Delgato with rapid fire.

“Yes! Here - I should explain things to you as we walk out, I’ll give you time to change, and we can head out!”

With that, she smiled at me once again before heading outside of the room. I was left alone again to my dizzying thoughts and questions.

Was I free to go? That couldn’t be it. They tried so hard to keep me locked up. There’s no logical explanation for why they would let me go. My heart started to beat faster, feeling the rush of excitement and hope. It was as if the room became vibrant again, despite the dim glasses I wore for my concussion. I could hear things louder than they had been before, the TV feeling like it was blaring in my ears.

I felt alive again.

Looking over at the chair, I rushed over to pick up the clothes given to me. A teeshirt so big I thought it would fall off of me, a pair of grey sweatpants, and some cheap loafers. All in plain, monochrome colors. So plain they could suck the joy out of anything.

I loved them.

I put each of them on with glee, almost in awe of how comfy they were. Most of my life was spent in scratchy, mint-green prison attire. Seeing, and feeling the change made me grin ear to ear. The feeling felt off, as foreign muscles in my face stretched like never before.

Me? Grinning? I haven’t done that in a long time. Even as a kid, there wasn’t much to grin about.

Once the hand-me-downs were on my person, I carefully took steps around the hospital room. I could move freely now, nothing keeping me chained down. I traced the walls with my fingertips, feeling the cold and smooth painted surface. Just as I was about to reach the door, I saw something in the corner that caught my eye.

Hanging up on the wall was a mirror. Its reflective surface gleamed in my eyes. Curious, I walked over to it, creeping up to it. The last time I saw myself was when I murdered seven girls, and back then I had nothing to look forward to.

Maybe, I thought. Just maybe, I’d finally see something worth fighting for in that mirror.

As I walked up to it, a small gasp erupted from my lips. When I came into view, so did a girl. Her chestnut locks waved downwards past her slender shoulder blades. Despite her face being pale and worn, it still lit up with color from the freckles that stretched across her nose. Beneath her eyes was dark, as if she had been dead for years. I noticed something though, hidden under her protective glasses. When I took off my own, so did she, leaving us both in blinding light. Life became this girl when I looked into her eyes. Pale green splashed in her irises, making everything that had once felt lost be found again.

It took me a second to register that the girl in view was me. I didn’t recognize myself, one bit. The vague memory I once had about how I looked was now refreshed, filling me with wonder and hope.

I knew who I was now. Looking at her in the mirror made it all come back to me. And it filled me with emotions that rose up like the waves in the sea. For a moment in time, I would have said I felt complete.

A knocking broke my trance, and my head turned sharply to the door on my right.

“Hey, are you good to go in there?”

“Y-Yes! I’m coming out!”

I called out back to Mrs. Delagto.

Taking one last glance at the mirror, I looked into the eyes of my reflection. Making a promise.

“We’ll figure this out,” I whispered.

With that vow, I left the hospital room, greeting Mrs. Delagto in the hall. I left my last traces in that hospital through those hospital halls. Only going forward.

___

Mrs. Delgato led me outside. The light almost blinded me, making my head burst with small amounts of pain. I didn’t care though. It was a rare occurrence to have such a nice day in Gotham. I felt as if Gotham herself wanted to contribute her own version of hope to me.

“Come on, my car’s this way.”

When Mrs. Delgato smiled and motioned for me to follow, I couldn’t help but smile too. Her joy was contagious, especially after today.

I followed Mrs. Delgato down the sidewalk, walking alongside her.

“So, you wanted to know why you are free?”

Mrs. Delgato made a glance at me, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

“Well, let’s just say someone blew the whistle on your case. It came to our attention that your original transfer was forged. By who, we don’t know yet. They tried to get an official one for you, but without sufficient evidence, your sentence was reduced. Then, the mayor heard about your case-”

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

“Wait, the mayor? Who is it?” I had to cut her off once I heard her mention the mayor.

“Oh! Mayor Jim Gordon. He’s been good to Gotham and is notorious for his campaign against corruption. Since your case reeked of it, he pardoned you at the request of a friend.”

We stopped a block down from the hospital, only to stop at a beat-down red vehicle parked parallel to the sidewalk. Mrs. Delgato walked to the driver's side, opened the door, and got in. I stood, a little hesitant at first. The last car ride I went on didn’t end well, and I doubted Mrs. Delgato had a gun in her glovebox to keep us safe from any potential masked men who crossed our path.

“It’s unlocked, you can open it!”

Mrs. Delgato called out to me from her rolled-down window. Her smile and positive voice reassured me somehow. She seemed so sure, so confident that she was safe. I envied that mindset of hers. I’ve lived in fear for years. Fear for myself, and fear for others.

I got in, lightly smiling at Mrs. Delgato. I struggled for a second to buckle the seatbelt, relying on rusted muscle memory to complete the task. Once I did, she drove off. It was quiet for a brief moment before Mrs. Delagto spoke up.

“I have to confess something. I may have fibbed a tiny bit at that hospital. I’m not really a social worker.”

Those words made my heart stop. I looked at her, eyes widened. Fight or flight response was beginning to take over me. Who was she then? After everything that had happened, my mind raced with possibilities. All of them concluding to danger.

When we stopped at a red light, she looked over at my expression and became worried as well. Not for herself, but for me. As if, she had remorse.

“Oh dear! I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s a good fib, I promise! I’m not a social worker, but I told the courts I was so I could help get you out of the hospital. You remember how I said someone asked the mayor for your pardon?”

I nodded cautiously, still watching out for any signs of ill intent.

“Well, I work for him. His name is Lucius Fox. I work for him at Wayne Enterprises in the Tech Department. He’s the one who blew the whistle, so to speak.”

My face began to wash away the worry with confusion. Lucius Fox didn’t ring a bell. I had never met him in my life. So that left one question.

“H-How does he know me? Why did he do all of that?”

Mrs. Delgato looked over with a cheeky smirk before her eyes returned to the road. It was almost like the answer was obvious.

“I think you know, Sarah.”

It clicked then. The answer was obvious. The man in the black and blue tight suit. This was all his doing. That night, he said he’d call in a favor to a friend. Was he Lucius Fox, or was that the friend he was calling the favor in to? I hadn’t the slightest idea, but it didn’t matter. Either way, I was free, and I was in both of their debts.

“So, where do I go from here? What do I do?” I spoke up. I didn’t know the slightest thing about living on my own. About how to get a job, or how to cook. All I knew how to do was be a prisoner. And kill, so it seemed.

“That’s where the catch comes in” Mrs. Delgato clicked her tongue, her smirk turning into a slight frown.

“The catch?”

“Yes, the catch. The catch is: in return for securing your release, we need to keep a close eye on you until we can help you figure out your situation.”

“You… You know?”

“Yes.”

“I-I didn’t mean to-”

“Oh, dear, I know you didn’t. We got the whole spiel. See. After the judge found you guilty the second time, he forged a lot of paperwork. He kept your files sealed. Instead of trying to get you help, and properly understood, he just decided to shut the door and lock the key. Judge Hartshorn, that’s his name. We wanted to get you out, so we had to pull some strings with him. Let’s just say not all of them were professional nor ethical…”

She trailed off as if embarrassed by the lengths her boss went to secure my freedom. My mind only went to the places they usually go. Maybe I was in danger after all. Or maybe I was moving from one cage to another. I needed to know the truth from her. I needed to rip it off like a bandaid and get the revelation over with.

“So, why did you guys really help me? It’s not just about a favor.”

Mrs. Delgato lightly touched my shoulder, her hand warmed by clutching her steering wheel. With her eyes on the road, she spoke softly.

“Our main reason, is we want to help you control this thing. No one gave you that chance before, so we want to extend that to you. Secondly, we want to do a study. It’ll help us figure out what’s going on, and how we can better control it. Your well-being is the primary goal. No one should go to Arkham if they can be helped first. If anything, more lives would be save if you learn about what you have."

“So. You guys are really going to help me with this thing?”

It sounded almost too good to be true. My ears were ringing as if she dropped a bomb in my very lap.

“Yes! On a couple of conditions though-”

Before she could finish I cut her off immediately.

“Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

I could be free, I thought. Not physically. I could be completely liberated. If they can help me figure out how to stop this thing inside of me, I would do anything. The desperation in me rang out throughout my body, aching for a solution. Like pins and needles in my chest, stabbing my heart. I longed to control this. I longed to be free from it.

“Woah! Slow down there, eager beaver -” Mrs. Delgato chuckled warmly, making a little snort as she did.

“The conditions are that you stay with me, follow a curfew of six P.M. to be back at the residence, and you submit to testing from Mr. Fox. Once we can figure out how to help you control it, we’ll teach you. But until then - You are required to follow those conditions.”

Her tone shifted slightly as if she became more stern. Like a parent teaching their toddler right and wrong.

“And unfortunately, if you break those conditions under any circumstance, we’ll be forced to let Judge Hartshorn go through with the recommendation to Arkham Asylum.”

I was quiet after hearing those words. I shouldn’t have been so surprised, but I was. However, I let that feeling pass. Now was the time that I needed to work harder than ever. I can’t ever be free until I get this monster in me under control.

“Oh, I hate blackmail. I’m sorry kid. We just. We know you can’t control it, so we have taken every measure possible to make sure we can help you. But we also have to look out for the safety of the pub-”

“I’ll do whatever it takes, Mrs. Delgato. I know with this unchecked, I’m a danger. So whatever rules, or conditions you need me to follow. I’ll do it.”

I looked over at her, serious in my conviction. She met my eyes and smiled. I could see the guilt fade away on her face. Her warm expression returned, into glances of pride. She chuckled to herself before her eyes returned to the road.

“Lucius was right to take a bet on you. And you can call me Sydney, kid.”

___

It was mostly silent for the rest of our ride. Sydney could see that I was distracted by the sky outside, so she kindly let me observe in peace. With each shop, each car, and each place we passed by, I became more ensnared by the world. Everything was better than I had daydreamed. Coffee shops were brighter, parks were more beautiful, and buildings were even taller. I couldn’t wait to experience it all. Sydney even rolled down the window, letting me feel the wind in my face. That feeling, the cold ever-slight sting on my nose and cheeks, defined freedom for me. At that moment, I came to terms that I would one day be free. Just like in my daydreams.

My focus was taken away when Sydney began to pull into an underground building of sorts. A gate blocked our path, but Sydney simply pulled up to the small booth beside the gate. A screen came into view, with a green background telling us to scan a card in the space below. Sydney took a card off of her dashboard and then scanned it in. Suddenly, I saw the yellow gates swing open, and she drove on. Inside were a multitude of cars parked in between white lines. Some were crooked, others took up multiple parking spaces. Ultimately, Sydney was able to find a spot she could squeeze into.

When we exited the vehicle, Sydney pressed her keys, and the loud beep that came after made me jump. With a small laugh, Sydney touched me gently on my shoulder and apologized.

“Sorry kid, didn’t mean to startle you!”

In response, I smiled at her, as if silently forgiving her.

“C’mon! I’ll show you where we’re going!”

As we walked, I looked around at our surroundings. I could lie to myself and say I was doing it because I was curious, but that would be only half of the truth. Part of me expected something to pop out from behind the rows of the shiny, metallic cars.

“Where exactly are we going?” I asked quietly.

We approached a pair of metal doors, walking up and waiting in front of them.

An elevator, I thought. I haven’t been on one of those in a while. Sydney pressed one of the glowing buttons on the side, before turning and looking at me.

“What, you think I wasn’t going to introduce you to Lucius? I had to bring you along the minute you got out. Figured you’d want to say hello!”

She grinned widely, bright white teeth flashing in my direction. I felt a rush of excitement and nerves hit me all at once.

She wasn’t wrong, I thought, but what would I say? New things were things I heavily disliked. However, this man saved my life essentially. I wanted the chance to say thank you.

When the doors opened, we both stepped in. Sydney then scanned a card she pulled out of her wallet, before pressing another button. Suddenly, we began to rise, and I couldn’t help but clutch onto the railings by the wall. Patient for the ride, I watched the light that crept through the metal doors flicker with each floor we passed. When we reached our destination after what seemed like minutes, I felt the elevator slow down before stopping. The metal doors opened gently and allowed us to exit.

When we emerged from the elevator, a blinding light immediately made me raise my hand up to try and see my surroundings. My head began to pound again, but doing my best to ignore the pain I tried to figure out the room I was in. White walls allowed the bright mechanical lights on the ceiling to bounce off of its surface, making it as if I was walking into the luminous sun. As I peered around, I noticed different types of equipment lined the walls, almost like they were here to prepare for every scientific question or experiment one might have. Then, in front of us stood a chamber of glass at the end of the room. In front of the glass door stood the figure of a man, and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I could see him clearly.

He stood with his umber hands humbly behind his back, sharply dressed in a black businessman’s suit. His face was worn but intelligent, with smooth, black glasses firmly pressed against his dark ebony eyes. Short black curls adorned the top of his head, neatly cut to match his professional demeanor. When his gaze matched mine, the man smiled.

“You must be Sarah O’Harren. Welcome. I trust Sydney caught you up to speed?”

I wanted to answer his question, but it felt like a million things to say were left stranded on my tongue. Finally, I was able to push out a simple answer.

“Y-Yes, sir.”

“Good, well. Even still, I-”

“Thank you… For everything, sir.”

I cut him off, unable to contain my gratitude. He just smiled again and extended his hand to shake. As we shook, he spoke.

“You’re welcome. But you know there are some ground rules to your freedom.”

“I-I know, sir. I’m willing to do anything. Any tests you need, run them. I want this thing gone for good.”

“That’s good to hear. But, I hope you know it won’t. Of course, we’ll run some standard tests on your biology, and see if we can find any anomalies to help us along the way. But ultimately-”

He paused for a moment, turning around to face the glass chamber.

“To truly help you control your abilities, you’ll need to use them.”

I froze in my place, looking at Mr. Fox from behind.

“U-Use them how?”

“Think of it like a car. You can’t improve the prototype if you don’t test it first. In a controlled environment, we need to observe your abilities before we can help you learn to control them.”

“S-Sir I don’t know if I can. What if-”

“What if you harm someone? We’ll have measures in place for that. I’ve also done some analysis on the circumstances of your abilities resulting in injury or fatality-”

Lucius Fox pushed his glasses up, before pulling a remote out of his suit jacket pocket. He aimed it to the right, pressing a button that managed to turn on a small computer screen. It started to play some security footage, of a hallway. Whitish yellow paint adorned the hall in the footage, with an all too familiar floor pattern.

It was Alpena. More specifically, the hallway that led to the showers.

I approached the screen slowly, my stomach twisting with anxiety. I saw guards run into view, trying to get through the shower room door. My eyes spotted what was blocking their entry. Multiple bars of soap were shoved under the door frame, almost fused to form a tiny barricade under the door. There were shouts from the guards, almost unintelligible from the commotion from the shower rooms. Shouts, screams and yells echoed in the footage. Suddenly, there was silence for a brief second, before screams erupted again. Bleats and shrieks of pure terror. I was able to understand one of the guards who was peering inside the window.

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that?”

He yelled out, before telling the others to hurry.

Just then, I saw the guard fall back from the window in terror. I was able to catch a glimpse into the window, at what startled him. A shadowed figure, with glowing white eyes, in the silhouette of a girl. The creature pulled a girl away from the door, flinging her across the window’s small view.

Oh my God, I thought. This was the day I murdered the seven inmates. That creature was me.

“H-How- Where did you get this?”

I managed to blurt out, unable to look away from the horror on the screen.

“This was the very video Judge Hartshorn had in his possession. He had it hidden away, just like he tried to do with you.”

Lucius replied, watching along with me.

I felt my face go pale, my stomach aching with guilt and sickness. Seeing myself in that footage made me understand the fear. I’ve always been afraid of my demons, but seeing them from another’s perspective was equally, if not more terrifying.

Lucius clicked the remote, pausing the screen. I turned around to face him.

“I-I am so sorry, I didn’t know they had footage! I didn’t want to kill them, I just wanted them to st-”

“Stop what?”

Lucius inquired.

“I-I…”

I couldn’t get the words out. Panic set in as I tried to excuse what I did. The truth was, I couldn’t. Nothing justified that.

“Those girls tried to kill you, correct?”

I nodded, looking down at my hand-me-down loafers from the hospital.

“And, your parents before? The transcript said they were trying to take you outside, and you feared for your life?”

“Y-Yes, that’s true. But-”

“And the men in masks? Were they trying to kill you too?”

I looked up again at Lucius. He was right, once again. What was he concluding?

“So, from those three instances, you were in situations that you perceived were threats?”

“I- yes, that’s correct,”

I said slowly.

“So that leads me to believe that your ability comes out in times of great peril to you. Our first test is to figure out if it will only come out during those times, or to see if you have the ability to summon it at will.”

“I-I don’t know about this sir. You saw that, what if I-”

My breath became heavier, my heart beating inside my chest. My head started filling with doubt, of whether or not I should have been spared from Arkham. I leaned on one of the counters in the room, trying to catch my breath. It felt as if everything in the air was heavier, almost making it impossible to breathe.

“As I said before, we have a solution to your concerns, Ms. O’Harren.”

I looked back at Mr. Fox, curious about what he meant. I saw him step to the side, allowing me to see the chamber behind him as he motioned to it.

“This is our containment chamber. Usually, it is used to test some of our tech before it hits the markets. But from today on, we’ll use it to test your abilities in a safe, contained manner.”

“H-How is it safe?”

I asked, unsure if he was speaking from confidence, or if he was overestimating the test chamber.

Lucius walked over to the computer, pressing a few buttons once he reached the enormous keyboard and control board. Once he did, the glass chamber made a loud beeping noise, before it began to shift. Metal columns went up in each corner of the chamber, and once they were erected, something blue shot out from each of them. Covering each glass wall with a blue field, it was as if new walls were made.

“I would invite you to touch them, but fifty-thousand volts tends to hurt.”

Mr. Fox said, chuckling as he pressed another button. Once he did, the metal vault-like door opened with a slow swing. Lucius motioned to the chamber.

“Would you like to try?”

My heart pounded, echoing in my body. The blue walls with voltage made me feel more secure, but I was hesitant at first. I heard Sydney come up behind me. I hadn’t noticed that she slipped on a lab coat during my chat with Lucius, but she walked up and smiled as she attempted to assure me.

“Don’t you worry about a thing, Sarah. You’ll be okay.”

Sydney smiled warmly, motioning to the chamber.

Once again, Sydney’s assurance of safety brought me a sense of comfort. I nodded back at her, before slowly entering the chamber. Once inside, it was like a completely different room. The air felt more condensed, more cold. The white floor collided with the blue electric walls. I paced around, feeling a sense of security in the testing chamber.

“Okay, I’m going to close the door now, Sarah,”

Lucius said, pressing the button to activate the command. As the door slowly closed, I could feel my heart beating again. When the door closed and locked itself, it was like all sound silenced. The whirling of machines and beeps of buttons pressed were nonexistent.

It made everything worse. I usually hated the silence. During my time incarcerated, I would always try to focus on the conversations of guards or the shouts of inmates. Loud, chaotic things that would silence that damned voice in my head. The one that called to me, beckoned me to draw out what lay inside of me. With nothing to distract me, I could feel the fear creeping up my body.

I could hear faint words from Lucius to Sydney, asking her if she was ready. Sydney nodded and walked over to the computer. Lucius walked over the the side of the chamber, pressing another button. An intercom upwards somewhere crackled, before Lucius’ voice came through.

“Remember to breathe, Sarah. Now, I want you to do your best to try and activate your ability.”

Activate it? I thought. Why did I agree to this?

Doubt and panic set in once again. Chills crept up my spine, and I could hear my breathing become more panicked. I looked over to Lucius, frightened like a deer in the headlights. Chaos swam around in my head as the anxiety raced in my heart.

I couldn’t bring this thing out, I thought. It’ll kill everyone.

“W-What if I can’t control it? I-I-”

I stuttered trying to speak through sharp breaths that didn’t seem to enter my lungs.

I could hear it now. The voice. Calling to me in its soft, low tone.

“Trust in me. I am here to help you.”

No, no, no! I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. My lungs felt like they were constricting the air out of them. I began to hyperventilate. The blue walls felt as if they were shrinking, growing smaller and smaller. My mom, her boyfriend, those girls, the men in masks, Candyman. All died by my hands. Every time this thing gets loose people die. I couldn’t let that happen to these good people.

“I-I can’t, sir! I can’t!”

I called out desperately to him, my voice seeping with fear. I looked him in the eyes, displaying my anxiety. Hugging myself, I squatted down, trying to do everything I could to stop the world from closing in.

“You can, Sarah. You’ve been living afraid of it, telling yourself you can’t control it. We’re giving you the space now to try to do just that. Nothing bad will happen to us while you are in there. Seize this moment, and try and make your abilities yours to control. You are stronger than you know.”

My breath started to slow down hearing Lucius’ words. I looked over to view Sydney, who gave me a thumbs up with her warm smile. I looked over to Mr. Fox, who nodded slightly, reassuring me.

Closing my eyes, I focused on every part of my body. My heart, beating like a drum inside of my ribcage. My fingers were cold and clammy from the stress. My ears, rushing with blood and adrenaline. Then there was my breath, calming down, sounding like waves on a shoreline. Breathing in, then out. Tuning into it all, I beckoned inside of me. I used to run from the voice when it called, scared to heed it. Now, I needed it to heed me.

“Please,” I whispered.

“Trust in me. I will help you, dear one.”

I listened to it speak, and it was as if my mind reached out to the hand this voice extended. I willed it to change me, and I demanded it listen to me. Within a moment, my body was enveloped by black smoke, turning me into the monster I tried so hard to keep away. My hands were like shadows, smoke emitting from them like an extinguished fire. I felt the waves of energy flood into me, giving me strength beyond my normal ability. I felt like I could move a mountain.

I did it, I thought.

But then, a voice called out and beckoned. It was different than the one before. Instead, it was harsh and sharp. Like the hiss of an agitated snake, and it demanded only one thing.

“Kill.”

No, I told the voice. I didn’t want to do that anymore. I pushed back with all my might against the foreign voice. Despite the power I felt inside, I disciplined myself. My head remained clear, and calm. I let the foreign voice fade away as I willed it so. Now the challenge was to change back.

I can do this, I thought. I’m stronger than I think, like Lucius said.

I closed my eyes again, focusing on what I desired. I imagined myself, and the girl I saw in the mirror at the hospital. I wanted to go back to her. The calming voice I’ve known all my life spoke again, in tranquil whispers.

“You can trust in me.”

At that moment, I called to it again. In under a second, I could feel the power fade from me, flowing away from me like the tide retreating from a beach. When I opened my eyes, there I stood. Normal hands, and normal skin. Not a trace of smoke to be seen.

I could hear Sydney’s faint cheer on the outside of the chamber, and as I looked, I could see her wide grin greeting me. I looked back at Lucius to see an impressed smile flash on his lips.

I’d done it. I’m in control of this thing after all.

The intercom in the chamber channeled Lucius’ voice, letting it ring throughout the chamber.

“Very good. Now, let’s try it again.”