Season 1, Episode 5 - The Boxtops XXVIII - "Alfie vs Demetrius"
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The battle between Alfie and Demetrius took them toward the left side of the forest, away from Audrey and Lynn. It was a back-and-forth affair, a game of cat and house, each side pursuing and tossing Rddhi at each other until they arrived in, of course, a clearing.
Each side spent a moment catching their breath, Alfie one one side of the clearing, Demetrius on the other.
The big man let out a laugh full of joy, cracking his neck. He then stretched his arms above his head, revealing a tanned, chiseled body. “Tell me, have you ever met a man like me? A man with a body carved from marble? A man with a body that is, quite frankly, of brick shithouse quality?”
Alfie didn't know what to say, so he kept quiet. It's not like he was wrong, but it's not like Alfie was exactly amused with the situation, either.
Demetrius cracked his fingers. “Right now, you’re merely thin and lanky. I commend you on your clear skin - perhaps, when this is done, I shall ask you what moisturizer you use. But clear skin is not enough. You must strengthen the body as well.” Demetrius stretched a muscular arm across his body. “Fear not, for one day, you too may look like this. But tell me right now, what kind of man are you?”
Alfie already felt tired from the conversation. “What the hell kind of question is that?”
Demetrius laughed. “You have fire! I like that. Let me speak to you, man-to-man. To be frank, I don’t care where you come from. All men are but beasts in the arena. Your race, your religion, morning showerer or night showerer, sitting wiper or standing wiper, none of that matters here. The only thing that matters is whether or not you give it your all on the battlefield. When I defeat you, if you have shown me your full strength and left everything on the field, then you shall have my full respect, and I’ll shall defend you until the end of time.”
Demetrius pointed a meaty finger at Alfie. “However, if you hold back, do not show me everything, if you decide to take it easy or decide this fight isn’t worth it, then you, my friend, will be the lowest of the low in my eyes. I do not demand excellence; I demand effort in the pursuit of excellence. Give me that, and I shall give you my undying loyalty.”
Alfie rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen war up close, you know. It’s not as glamorous as you think.”
“I’m not talking about war,” Demetrius corrected. “I’m not even talking about this arena in particular. I’m talking about the arena of life!”
He raised his fist. “Now, show me what you got!”
Demetrius cocked his arm back. “PTOLEMAIC THUNDER!” He punched the air, and the whole world exploded.
Well, that’s what it felt like at least. Fortunately, Alfie rolled out of the way right in time - the beam merely made the trees behind him explode upon impact.
“Do you like it?” Demetrius grasped his bicep. “I call it the Besieger.”
Alfie calmed his breathing. “So, your power is...arm cannons?”
“Bingo!” Demetrius declared, cocking his arm back again. “PTOLEMAIC THUNDER!”
Another blast of energy shot out from Demetrius’s punch. Alfie was already sprinting away, sticking to the edge of the clearing, dodging this next attack. Now that they had some space, Alfie could better analyze his opponent’s skills.
It looks like he has to cock his arm back to gather enough energy for the punch. That’ll take a second or two. As long as I pay attention to that, I should have enough time.
“SELEUCID RAGE!”
Another blast of energy. Alfie kept running; the energy beam missed him, slamming into another tree, splinters and branches scattering across the clearing.
It looks like he can only send it in a straight line too, Alfie realized. It looks overwhelming at first, but he has his weaknesses. And most importantly-
“Are you really the kind of person to call out your attacks?” Alfie called out.
“Of course!” Demetrius roared, laughing with excitement. “ANTIGONID BREAKER!”
Alfie skidded to a stop and just managed to fall out of the way. This time, Demetrius had led him with the beam, aiming it right where Alfie would’ve been if it wasn’t for his last second adjustment.
“And why are you using different names for the same attack?” Alfie questioned.
“Are you one of those English teachers who demands an explanation as to why the curtains are blue?” Demetrius exclaimed. “I like punching and I like yelling! CASSANDER CANNON!”
Demetrius aimed this attack lower; Alfie moved out of the way, but instead of shooting past him, the energy beam smashed into the ground near him. The shockwave from the explosion knocked Alfie away, sending him rolling across the ground. Swearing, he fired his finger gun, using the propulsion of the burst to send him sliding backwards across the dirt, away from a second beam that slammed into his former spot on the ground.
He’s smart, for better or worse, Alfie thought. Even though it’s the same attack, he’s been attacking in different ways.
Demetrius leaned over and punched the air in a downward angle three times. The explosive power would’ve knocked back a lesser man, but he held his ground through the shockwaves, standing there until his attacks kicked up a cloud of dust around him.
Alfie narrowed his eyes. Of course, all these explosions are making a smoke screen around him so I can’t see when he’s about to attack.
Alfie thought about it. Wait, I’m smarter than that. I can just sense him through the Rddhi.
Alfie breathed in and listened closely. In his mind’s eye, the Rddhi field of black appeared, with Demetrius’s outline appearing in a fiery red.
What’s he doing? Why did he turn around so his back is facing me?
Alfie raised his finger gun, but then he sensed Demetrius jump.
Wait, he’s probably smarter than that too. He knows I can sense him.
Before Alfie could fire, Demetrius punched the air. With his entire body off the ground, the sheer force of power from the arm cannon made Demetrius rocket backwards, right toward Alfie.
What the hell-
Right as Demetrius zoomed past Alfie, he extended his big hand, backfisting Alfie with the force of a small truck across the face. Alfie heard something crack, but he felt too disorientated to know when and where he was. He spun through the air, his back slamming into a tree trunk.
Demetrius reoriented himself so he smashed into a tree feet-first. He did a flip because it looked cool then landed on the ground, stretching his chest and arms wide. “You’ve put up a hell of a fight so far, but I refuse to believe that I have defeated you that easily!”
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Alfie himself wasn't sure why he was fighting so hard. Well, he knew why, but just didn't want to admit it.
The people of Team Red weren't his coworkers. They were his teammates. That was a classification Alfie couldn't get around. He saw them as allies, and they saw him the same way.
Damn your charisma, Isaac, he thought. If it wasn't for you, I'd be relaxing down in my cell right now. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't care.
But Alfie did care. And when he cared, he wasn't going to go down that easily.
Demetrius then noticed something attached to his pant leg. He looked down and saw that it was a little hook with a line attached. The line suddenly tightened; Demetrius followed its path, all the way across a patch of bushes, where Alfie stood, his finger gun raised.
Demetrius stopped smiling. “Oh no bro-”
Alfie fired his finger gun. The flame exploded out of his fingertips, immediately setting the sebum oil on the tiny string alight. The flame scurried down the line, right towards Demetrius.
I had that Coleridge kid get me a few items for the simulation, Alfie reflected. You cook a can of beans for someone, and all of a sudden, they’d run through a wall for you. But maybe running through walls for someone is what being a teammate is all about.
Demetrius ripped the hook out of his pant leg and threw it as far as he could. However, the flame moved quickly, and Alfie smiled when it reached the hook.
I’ve coated that hook hundreds of times over.
When the flame reached the hook, the heavy layers of sebum exploded in a ferocious fireball. Demetrius tried to withstand it, but the blast knocked him backwards, deeper into the forest.
No time to lose, Alfie followed him, ignoring the mild concussion, ignoring the broken nose. He had his finger gun raised, ready to fire, but the big man seemed surprisingly light on his feet.
Wait, I’m still smarter than this. Alfie listened closely to the Rddhi; Demetrius was...above him!
Having reached a branch high up in a tall oak tree, Demetrius dived down from it, intending to dive-bomb Alfie. Alfie rolled out of the way just as Demetrius fired his punch. The beam slammed into the ground, narrowly missing Alfie; Demetrius used the force of the beam to slow his fall so he could land onto the forest floor in a rough roll to get himself back to his feet.
Alfie immediately fired on Demetrius; the big man spun out of the way and sent a beam back at Alfie. The beam caught Alfie square in the shoulder.
This is...this is pure Rddhi running through me, Alfie managed to think. It doesn’t actually hurt...but what’s this feeling? It makes me want to dream.
Ignoring the pain and odd desires, Alfie skidded backwards, his shoulder feeling burnt and fried. But the arm was still good; Alfie clenched his fist and pulled it backwards. A hook and line Alfie left in a large circle around Demetrius’s landing spot quickly tightened around his ankle. Alfie sent another flaming deluge down it.
Demetrius grabbed the wire and pulled with all his might; he flung Alfie towards him, intent on holding him so the explosion could take them both. Flying through the air, Alfie let go of the string, then fired his finger gun at the ground, propelling him upwards; Demetrius then fired at the ground, propelling himself upwards towards Alfie, the loose line trailing behind him, the flame getting closer.
Demetrius roared in pain when the line around his ankle exploded, but it provided him with just enough boost to fling him forward so he could tackle Alfie in mid-air. Alfie grunted from the impact and struggled to break free, but Demetrius’s bear hug was tight around him. When they reached the top of their arc, they began flying back down towards the unforgiving forest floor, Demetrius pointing Alfie straight at it.
Shit, he’s trying to crush me from the impact.
Demetrius’s bear hug pinned his right arm to his side, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fire the finger gun anymore. Demetrius’s body size also meant that he was much stockier and wider than Alfie; at this range, Alfie couldn’t miss.
Alfie fired straight and true, the sebum and following flames trailing a scorching patch up and down Demetrius’s front pants. Being this close to Demetrius also meant that Alfie himself could feel the heat and burns, but he ignored it, instead choosing to intensify the flames. The flame covered Demetrius’s entire leg; he caught a yell in his throat and clenched his teeth, because he was going to finish this to the end-
The flame spread across Demetrius’s waist, and then...below his waist. Yelping, he immediately pushed Alfie away right as the ground came up to meet them. Demetrius landed with a resounding thud, his landing quickly turning into a roll across the forest floor to put out the fire.
Alfie landed on his side and skidded across the grass, coming to a stop about ten feet from Demetrius. “Christ,” Alfie muttered, struggling to get back to his feet.
Demetrius was already standing. He looked so serious that Alfie almost swallowed in fear. With his pants tattered and on fire, Demetrius tore them off, revealing a mere loincloth.
Demetrius spoke flatly, his voice cold and distant. “You tried to burn a man’s pride off today. That is... seriously not cool.”
Alfie chuckled nervously. “At least I saved you some time, right? You don’t need to shave down there for the time being.”
Demetrius stared at him...then broke into a wide smile. He clutched his stomach and laughed. “You’re right, you’re right! That’s always the worst part of the month! I’m glad you understand this simple struggle in life. Perhaps...perhaps we can be friends after all.”
Demetrius strode over; Alfie prepared himself but then he realized that Demetrius gave off no signs of hostility, in either his body language or in the Rddhi.
The two stood close to each other. Demetrius extended a hand; Alfie gingerly took it. Demetrius hoisted Alfie up and dusted him off.
“I've enjoyed this fight,” Demetrius said. “You’ve shown me a lot today. I will follow you into the very depths of hell if you continue to fight like this.”
Alfie felt his face grow red. “You don’t gotta follow me,” he said. “But I guess I don’t mind you sticking around.”
Demetrius nodded. “I’m glad you’re on our side.” He took a few steps away and looked up at the tree branches and masses of auburn and orange leaves above him. “Now, let’s finish this, once and for all!”
Alfie understood. He and Demetrius found an open spot and stood back to back, leaves crunching beneath their feet.
“On ten,” Demetrius said.
“May the best man win,” Alfie answered.
The two took slow, deliberate steps away from each other in the opposite directions.
“1...2...3...” they said aloud in unison.
Demetrius took a deep breath and felt the Rddhi flow up his arm.
“4...5...6...”
Alfie gathered up the Rddhi-infused sebum in his right pointer finger.
“7...8...9...10!”
Both men spun around and fired. The beam and flamethrower kicked up a large cloud of dust, smoke, dirt, and grass, rendering the two invisible for a moment.
When the cloud cleared, both Demetrius and Alfie looked at each other. Demetrius groaned and clutched his right shoulder; Alfie smirked, then collapsed completely, his chest smoking from taking the blast of the beam.
With the battle concluded, Demetrius clapped his hands together and took a moment to reflect on the impermanence of time and nature. He then walked slowly over towards Alfie, intent on giving his fallen enemy – no, comrade – one last look before the game called Demetrius elsewhere.
My blasts weren’t strong enough to kill, Demetrius reflected, watching autumn leaves blow past him in the breeze, just a hint of flutes playing somewhere in the beyond. But they would certainly take a lot out of a person. Alfie Coonan has my utmost respect. He shall be one of my companions in my final quest.
Demetrius gasped. My backstory! I forgot to tell him backstory!
But then he gave a soft smile. Perhaps that Reed was onto something. I shall tell him over dinner!
But Demetrius could think about the future later. The monks stated that a life lived in the present is a life well-lived; Demetrius planned on doing exactly that by taking a moment to honor his new friend.
When he was halfway to the fallen Alfie, Demetrius saw his right hand twitch. The hand was outstretched towards Demetrius; the big man stood there, in awe.
Does he...does he still mean to fight? He’s in no condition, but he has my full admiration. It is disgraceful for the mind to give up when the body is still going strong; for the mind to still be strong after the body has given up is the mark of a true warrior.
Alfie shot out a weak little flame. The ground in front of him immediately caught fire and a churning inferno appeared, heading right towards Demetrius.
The big man felt the Rddhi. He coated the entire ground in sebum! He must have done it while my back was turned!
The sebum appeared as an ominous pool of red in the black vision of the Rddhi. This is enough...this is...
“Oh no bro!” Demetrius exclaimed, then the ground beneath him exploded. The intensity of the blast immediately threw him into the air and knocked him unconscious; he came to right as he slammed back into the ground, knocking him out again. He would not rise again until the game was over.
Alfie chuckled, then coughed. “It’s like my mother always says...”
He passed out too.