I sat in my cell for several more days, anticipation making every moment drag on. The leather strap was confiscated to make sure I didn’t get any more ideas, but I did get to keep the bucket, thankfully. Apparently I hadn’t won any hearts, as my isolation was maintained, leaving me to stew in my thoughts. However, having had something resembling a trial, I was able to stay sane, not wondering if I’d be alone for all of time. In the midst of one of my daily workouts, I heard footsteps, so I sprung to my feet. Soon enough, a group of six guards appeared in front of the cell bars.
With weapons readied, they opened the door, and I raised my hands to indicate my surrender. All were armed with the poleaxes this time around, and the group parted for me to step out, allowing me the freedom to walk under my own power. I was still surrounded, but it was infinitely better than having my shoulders ripped from their sockets. Before long, we arrived in the same room as before, and the guards stepped aside so I could be addressed.
Just as before, the tables were full, and everyone present had their own mysterious crystals that faintly glowed white. “Zachary Petel,” the king began. “You have been found guilty of psychic assault and attempted enslavement. Under normal circumstances, these horrid crimes would carry the punishment of death. However, as outlandish as it is, Casten confirmed that the inscriptions on the teleport shard you brought him would not link to anywhere in Astema. Due to the unprecedented nature of the situation, my advisors suggested that I show leniency.”
I released a breath I hadn’t noticed I was holding, relieved that someone was on my side. The attendees at the long tables seemed surprised by the statement, each muttering something to those seated beside them. The king waited for the room to quiet down again before resuming.
“I am inclined to do so. It cannot be unsaid that your moral integrity is still in question, so carelessly attempting to exert your will on others. Yet, you are of another world, so I present you with a unique opportunity. You are to join my army. There, you can be properly educated on the ways of this world, and be easily monitored for continued crimes. If you are to falter, I will move forward with your execution, and you will be publicly burned as a reminder not to repeat your actions.”
Irritation bubbled within, causing me to clench my fists reflexively. No matter where I went, people were eager to claim ownership of me. How many times do I have to change hands before my life is my own for once? Every ‘opportunity’ is just another chance to be someone’s bitch… Why can’t there be a third option of sending me home for fuck’s sake? That would solve everyone’s problems. Before I could protest, the speech continued.
“As we all know, military service is excellent for reform. Should you show promise, you may even get the chance to become a miltzik’aerin. According to the dungeoneers, despite coming from a world that you claim has no magic, you possess unique magical talents. If you use them properly, you may even be able to aid Astema against the brimspawn, and I will pardon you of your crimes. However, that is the future. For now, you must prepare for tonight’s recruitment ceremony.” With a wave of his hand, the king’s guards surrounded me again, and led me through a door on the side of the room.
We worked our way through a new maze of halls, coming to a stop in front of a seemingly random door two floors up from the courtroom. Beyond the door was a narrow room lined with cubbies and a handful of benches, and two further doorways on either side. Suddenly, the room went dark. Out of sheer panic, I started swinging my fists wildly, spinning around to ward off my attackers from whichever direction they decided to make a move from.
I heard footsteps shuffling around me, followed by a small chuckle, and the light coming back to the room. Confused, I saw each guard was standing at a safe distance away from me, with one covering his mouth and the rest staring daggers at him. I blushed upon looking down, more from anger than embarrassment, seeing a towel haphazardly plopped on the floor. I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts before speaking up, so as not to lash out. I was still technically a prisoner, after all.
“Ah, got it. Does this package include soap, or am I expected to make do with just water?” The only response came in the form of one of the guards pointing toward the doorway on my left. I shrugged my shoulders and stepped into the side room, finding it full of unsequestered shower heads and a single shelving unit containing many bars of soap. Dissatisfied with the setup, I turned back around to address the guards again. “There wouldn’t happen to be anything more private, would there? I’d appreciate it if I could maintain at least a modicum of dignity and privacy.” My question was met with stone-faced stares, and all I could do about it was sigh in defeat.
Jesus, I got more privacy as an actual prisoner, I thought. Though, to be fair, the guards did make better company than an empty stone box. Begrudgingly, I stripped down and threw my clothes and towel on the soap shelf and showered off. Despite not getting particularly hot, the water flowing over my skin felt absolutely divine as I rid myself of weeks of sweat and grime. After – ironically enough – the most magical shower of my life, I blindly strolled back over to the shelf, my now considerably longer than usual hair getting in my eyes, while doing my best to shake off any excess water.
I fumbled around a bit looking for my towel, but managed to find it and start drying off. Once I was able to see again, I turned to grab my clothes, only to find they’d vanished and been replaced with a rather large robe. Furious, I yelled out, “Seriously? You can’t expect me to wear this crap!” As I picked the robe up to toss it out the door, I noticed another little detail. “At least give me my boxers back! Does everyone here go commando or something?” My words, yet again, fell on deaf ears, and I resigned myself to wearing the robe.
The material felt similar to silk, although I highly doubted that to be the case, and was the same minty green/gold trimmed coloring as the guards’ armor. Oh, I guess they’re soldiers, then, not guards. That might explain the silent treatment, I noted. While I’d never been in the military myself, most members I’d encountered seemed to lean more toward the stoic type. My escorts, aside from chucklefuck, definitely fit that bill so far. I exited the showers, deciding it best not to keep them waiting, and found just one man left standing in the changing room.
“Where did everyone else go,” I asked cautiously. Again, I got no verbal response. Instead, the man reached for his hip. Assuming I was about to receive some vigilante justice, I lunged for his arm. Unfortunately, I wasn’t close enough to reach him in time, and he swung his arm straight for me. Without the proper room to change my course, I was struck in the neck. Surprisingly, instead of pain, there was a blinding flash of light and a buzzing noise in my ears. Pretty quickly, I recognized the feeling as teleportation, and was completely baffled.
“What is this, some kind of bullshit hazing,” I screamed to nobody in particular. As my vision and hearing recovered, I froze. Surrounding me were at least one thousand other individuals gathered in an open field, and my shouting had garnered me quite a bit of attention. Most seemed quite surprised by my sudden appearance and outburst, but a few were having a small laugh over my misfortune.
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“First teleport,” asked one of the nearby recruits. I searched for the source of the voice, but everyone had already turned back to their conversations, causing me to furrow my brow in utter confusion. “Ha! If only I was that tall,” said the mystery voice in a jovial tone, this time from directly behind me. I turned back around and my eyes fell on an armored woman, no more than three feet tall. Admittedly, I was rather caught off guard, and just stood there staring with my head cocked to the side.
“Don’t tell me I’m the first dwarf you’ve met, too! Let me guess, you’re from one of the smaller villages,” she asked, snapping me back to reality.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to stare,” I said, looking swiftly to the side “I’ve just never met a little person who’s so… proportional? I apologize if that’s rude, I’m really not sure what’s acceptable here and what’s not.” That comment earned me an indignant huff.
“Little person? I’ll have you know, I’m of average height for a dwarven woman,” she rebuffed, only furthering my confusion. “I’m even taller than my brother! I’d refrain from calling any other dwarves short, though. Not all are as thick-skinned as myself.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you. Is dwarfism really that common of an affliction here, though,” I asked.
“I see how it is, you’re one of them,” she responded angrily. “Look, I don’t go around insulting humans for being humans, so don’t you go around-”
“Wait, wait, wait. You’re not a human? What the fuck are you talking about,” I asked incredulously. “You look pretty damn human to me!” At that, she paused with her mouth hanging halfway open, seemingly completely dumbfounded by what I just said. All I could do was stare back, waiting for an explanation.
“Are you daft? In what world do I resemble a human? Surely this is some kind of strange joke,” she replied. “Or have you only ever lived among other humans?” My mind raced as I tried to catch up to the conversation, simultaneously trying to figure out exactly where I went wrong and how on Earth the woman in front of me was anything but human.
And that’s when it hit me. I wasn’t on Earth, I was on Astema. Just as with Edran’s demonstrational fire spell, my world view was torn apart yet again. It hadn’t previously crossed my mind that the small skeleton in the dungeon wasn’t someone with dwarfism, but a dwarf from straight out of Lord of The Rings. And, following that logic, there were likely other races I didn’t know about. You fucking moron. There’s magic here, why is this so shocking, I berated myself. Suddenly, I felt a sharp jab in my thigh, causing me to jump in surprise and knocking me out of my stupor.
“Are you alright? You don’t look very well,” said the dwarven woman.
“Yeah… Just a lot to take in. I should start over,” I said, extending my arm for a handshake. “My name is Zachary, or Zach for short, and I’m not from Astema. I’m from a world called Earth, where there are only humans. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and I’m sorry for misspeaking, I didn’t mean to offend you. I just… I don’t have any idea how things work here.” With a skeptical look, she took my hand and gave it a firm shake, introducing herself as Lira. Before our conversation could recover and continue, a booming voice spread over the crowd, instantly silencing everyone in attendance.
“Welcome, recruits,” the voice began. “Today marks your first steps toward the betterment of yourselves, this kingdom, and Astema as a whole. Here, you will learn the skills required to protect what you hold dear, both on and off the battlefield. But before that can happen, you will spend the next week being evaluated mentally, physically, and magically so that you may be assigned fitting roles amongst your fellow soldiers based on your personal abilities. Most of you will find at least one aspect of this assessment to be challenging, if not all, but do not worry, as that is expected. You will be pushed to your limits and beyond. You will discover new things about yourselves. And you will come out stronger than you thought possible. Testing begins tomorrow morning, but for now, it is time to get acquainted with your new living arrangements. You are dismissed!”
With that, the crowd erupted into cheers, the air filled with electric excitement. I guess that means I’m the only conscript, then, I thought as I rolled my eyes. Shortly, everyone began to migrate toward what I assumed to be the barracks, some clearly in more of a hurry than others. I hung back, falling in with the less enthusiastic groups, taking my sweet time to enjoy the fresh air. Being locked up has a funny way of making one appreciate things like that.
The process of filtering into the different barracks was a grueling one. The sheer volume of people caused several bottlenecks, slowing everything down to the point that it was like waiting in line at a packed amusement park. Eventually, though, the instructors were able to kick the more lackadaisical people into gear. As expected, the inside was drab and largely utilitarian in nature, essentially boiling down to plain stone boxes with beds and a very… open communal bathroom. At least the toilets were kept separate from each other, so there was that.
“Didn’t like the speech,” asked Lira from beside me, almost making me jump out of my skin, at which she laughed gleefully.
“Truly inspiring,” I responded flatly, which prompted Lira to tilt her head in confusion.
“Then why not cheer along,” she asked. It wasn’t quite the response I had been expecting.
“Does sarcasm not exist here,” I asked, this time much more genuine. It would be one thing for Lira to simply not understand sarcasm, but an entire other issue if that would be a widespread occurrence.
“Sarcasm? Is that a Hessilian word? It sounds like it would be,” she answered. I shook my head, both as my reply, and in disappointment. For all the similarities between the two worlds, it seemed there would always be too many differences for me to keep track of.
“No, it’s a form of humor where you say the opposite of what you mean. Don’t ask me why it’s funny, because I don’t entirely know. It just is,” I said. Lira paused momentarily, possibly contemplating how something like that would be funny at all, before getting back to her original question.
“What was wrong with the speech, then?”
“I’ve pretty much heard those exact words more times than I care to count. When you hear the same thing often enough, the sentiment tends to lose its luster,” I stated. “Plus, I’d much rather be home than here. I was being serious when I said I’m not from Astema. I don’t belong.”
“Then why join Aziah’s army? Surely you’d rather be protecting your own kingdom,” Lira replied. At that, I had to suppress a violent bout of laughter.
“God, no. I wouldn’t set foot anywhere near any of Earth’s militaries. Noooooo thank you. It’s bad enough I have to be here,” I said, before mentally kicking myself. Yeah, just go ahead and hint that you were forced into this for committing one of the world’s most heinous crimes. That’ll really help you fly under the radar, keep it up!
“Well, enjoy what you can! I doubt I’ll ever be able to relate to your plight, but I do know that sometimes you must make your own happiness where none can be otherwise found,” she said, unknowingly giving me the easiest out ever.
“Yeah, that’s true, I’m just not very good at doing that. But I appreciate it. I’m sure that I’ll feel a bit better in the morning, I just haven’t been sleeping the best,” I responded as I sat down on one of the remaining empty beds. “Speaking of which, I’m getting pretty tired. If you’d like, I can tell you some stories about Earth a little later on. That’s always good for the mood.”
“That sounds fun! So long as it doesn’t involve much sarcasm,” she added in a playful manner. I offered a reassuring nod and scooted under the covers, doing my best to tune out the remaining bits of conversation around the room.