image [https://imgur.com/a/qUQiGid]
“What if - and hear me out before you discard my proposal completely from the word ‘go’ - there is a gigantic kinder surprise inside Earth, and possibly all other planets - and they are filled with a good and juicy and fantastic Kinder surprise for us to enjoy?”
“Well, I do like the sound of a good and juicy and fantastic surprise, and even though I haven’t promised you yet, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and not discard the idea before I have heard what you have to say, as you rarely have let me down in these sort of situations. But please answer me this: why would there be a good and juicy and fantastic kinder surprise at the core of planets?”
“For starters, what would all that magma be there for if not for protecting the very nice and valuable kinder surprise at the center of planets? If something is worth protecting, it must be valuable. And for seconds: I have seen those scientific cross sections of the center of Earth, and to my expert eye, and in my even expert’ier opinion, that thing is definitely both the right color and shape to be a good and juicy and fantastic kinder surprise.”
“That is a very sound logic and I can see no holes at all in it whatsoever, but why hasn't anyone ever dug them out?”
“Because they did not know there would be a big surprise at the center, it is very private and secret knowledge that only us Kinder-surprises-at-the-center-of-planets experts have. Plus, the magma is a hassle to get through because of all the heat and ouchies. So it is really, really secret.”
"The magma is really really secret?”
“No, the surprise is secret.”
“That makes sense since I think I knew about magma in general before you told me, and I think I have seen those cross-section pictures too, though I do admit I had never even dreamt that the round center was a huge good and juicy and fantastic surprise for us to enjoy.”
“That is troublesome: If I know about magma (and the surprise) and If you know about magma (and the surprise), and if both you and I know about the very scientifically accurate cross-section pictures, we can extrapolate that others also know about the magma (and the surprise) and the cross-section pictures. And I really want to see - and own - the good and juicy and fantastic kinder surprise.”
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“That is troubling indeed, but as your advisor, I advise you to move quickly and secure our price before anyone else does!”
“That is excellent advice. I knew I was right to bring you on, Partner.”
“I would very much like that, because I too want the good and juicy kinder surprise at the center of the planet. But what if there is only one good and juicy and fantastic surprise inside the earth? How would we share?”
“Well, that is an excellent question and luckily for us I have already considered this contingency: If we can agree to sell the surprise to someone else, we will split the booty equally. If the good and juicy and fantastic kinder surprise is of such astonishing beauty and/or grace that we cannot bear to part with it, we still split it equally in such a way as to not diminish the beauty in any way, shape or form.”
“What if the good and juicy and fantastic Kinder surprise inside the earth cannot be divided in such a way to not diminish the beauty?”
“Then we settle it the only way women of our caliber can: In a climatic, violent, and ultimately fatal showdown on the top of an active volcano. “
“I will agree to this proposal on one condition!”
“Which is?”
“That the climatic, violent, and ultimately fatal showdown on the top of an active volcano will be fought with swords... And maybe that the volcano is erupting at that very moment.”
“As it should be! How else could one settle this most grievous of matters?!”
“We are in agreement then!”
“Huzzah!”
“Though one more consideration: why haven’t the magma melted the good and juicy and fantastic surprise that you so taunt me with? I mean it is magma, and that is very hot and melty.”
“That is an excellent question, and thus the solution has to be equally devious and clever to hold up to such thorough scrutiny - yet simply and elegant, and so it is: If the magma was able to melt the good and juicy and fantastic surprise it wouldn’t show up on the very scientifically accurate cross-section pictures we both have seen. It would be just magma, instead of magma AND a surprise. So obviously the plastic cocoon around the surprise is made from something that repels magma - which is obvious when you think about it.”
“That is an intriguing thought that clearly explains our predicaments. Thank you for your answers”
“No, thank you for your questions and inquisitiveness, they are exactly why I wanted to partner up with you. Your astute and acute mind is surely to benefit this endeavor. While your demanding and thought-provoking questions will ensure that we think of only the brightest of ideas and most cunning of solutions. I believe with the two of us combined, our success and prosperity is assured!”
“Then let us begin! I so look forward to our success.”
“Lets us drink to that”
“Cheers old chumpete!”
“cheers!