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The doomed ascension of the Void
35 – The object eater

35 – The object eater

Black... Or rather dark, since there seemed to be a tiny luminosity. It was my first view while I was still half-conscious. But the vision didn't contain enough information for my mind. So, a myriad of other sensations assaulted me with their sudden presence. In one second, my mind had gone from absolute peace to indescribable suffering.

What's more, the origin of the pain was obscure to me, and the places of pain were obviously strange. I'd never experienced this kind of physical pain before. As soon as I concentrated on the odd pain, I felt palpitations and nausea throughout my etheric body. Even though I knew they were pure illusion, mirages conceived by a distraught mind, I couldn't ignore them.

After all, in that moment, they were honest and palpable. As if that weren't enough, a viscous sensation on my apostle's skin appeared amid all this general discomfort. The impression was present in so many places on her body that I was stunned. How could I have missed it? Deep down, I knew the reason.

The same reason why I was more nonchalant despite the persistent pain. I had reached such a stage of physical pain that my mind was unable to process it or even make sense of it. There was simply too much data and contradiction for my fragile mind. That's why I was now thinking in such a relaxed way as if the pain belonged to someone else.

In a way, this assertion was true. This pain didn't really belong to me because this body wasn't me. However, another part of me wanted to retort that the possession of the body made no difference to my situation. I was connected to my sister's Body and could extract sensory information.

So, even though it wasn't my Body, I was genuinely experiencing pain in the same way. Strangely enough, I wasn't convinced by this rhetoric, although I didn't understand exactly what point I was trying to make. It didn't matter anyway because I wasn't here to give opinions on useless subjects for our survival.

Knowing the depth of the trouble we were in was far more critical. Although I kept repeating this to myself, I still couldn't understand it. After all, I was still far too numb from the pain. Especially as a new, highly uncomfortable sensation presented itself. In fact, it had been there all along.

But the other discomforts had diverted my attention from it, at least until now. From now on, the sensation of coldness and heaviness manifested with incredible clarity. I could feel how objects on my apostle's body squeezed it intensely. Contact with the objects irritated the skin so much that the famous liquid seemed to come from it. So it was blood.

The thought alone was enough to turn my etheric face pale and make me break out into a cold sweat. In a sudden fit of anxiety, I called out to my sister, desperate to turn her head. I had to understand where we were now. Unfortunately, my apostle was too entangled in her pain to listen to me. Moreover, deep down, I already knew what kind of place it was.

I could only recall the time we'd been locked up somewhere, waiting to be given to other people. However, back then, I also knew we were much more accessible to move around than now. After all, even though my sister was struggling in pain, unknown objects were holding back certain parts of her body. So, the two situations were incomparable.

We are in a far more perilous situation than we had been back then. At least, that's what my instincts were telling me. No, not only that... I also sensed another source of my sudden anguish about the current problem. I had the horrible impression that this situation was hardly unfamiliar to me. It was as if I'd been through it before... No, not just once... Countless times...

Suddenly, I felt a sensation far more visceral and accurate than any of the impressions I'd usually experienced, except those coming from the Void. Set me free! I'm begging you! Set me free! It's my only wish! Set me free! It's an order!!! Do you understand what I'm saying? Then do it!!! Otherwise... Otherwise...! Otherwise...!!! I want to!!! I have to get out! I don't want to stay here! I'm begging you!

I– "My Goddess!!!" Huh!? Why was I screaming before? If my sister answered me, then it meant I hadn't just expressed those words in my mind. Suddenly, shame and embarrassment rose inside me, altogether chasing away the previous emotions. I couldn't even understand why such emotions were present in me anymore.

In fact, this kind of behavior was so foreign to me that I felt possessed. Nevertheless, I had to accept that "Me" had indeed spoken these words, whatever "Me" meant. The only response to my dismay was tears streaming down my etheric cheeks. I wondered where all those tears went once they left my etheric body.

"What a stupid question," I thought. Of course, I knew the answer. My tears couldn't go anywhere because they didn't exist in the first place. After all, that etheric body was just a hallucination on my part. It was merely a projection of my essence in my Void, itself positioned in the entropic plane.

Although, unlike me, the Void could act to a certain extent on the etheric plane. How I envied it... This feeling of jealousy of its physical presence in the etheric plane. Or at least, a semi-ghostly presence seemed far better than my total lack of physical presence in the etheric plane. It was the first time the lack of a body had been so blatant.

Why now? More tears could only spring from my eyes at this simple question. Why so many tears? Why do I know so little about myself? Why does the little I do know seem so wrong? Why? Why!? Why! Why!! Why!!! I couldn't stop tears from flowing down my unreal face, my nonexistent being. Why didn't I ever feel natural?

Ever? Was this really the case? My eyes widened, and my face contorted into an unhealthy smile as I exclaimed, "There's only one situation where I feel authentic!" I turned my gaze to the Void to get closer to it. I enjoyed it so much that I melted into it until I was one. Yes, that was my desire of the moment... even if I knew it wasn't my Desire.

Uncontrollable nervous laughter erupted inside me, reflecting my vain self-exploration, my inability to answer that simple question: "Who am I?". "–" What had I achieved so far? Nothing of note. Absolutely nothing. "My–" I had no intelligence, no prudence. In short, I had no qualities for survival in a brutal world. "My God–" I've known it since I woke up...

Yes, since my very first awakening– "My Goddess!" I interrupted my thoughts, shocked to have forgotten the current situation. Something had been wrong with me since my last awakening. No, my being had been vacillating between ephemeral excitement and eternal weariness for some time now. I was so unable to force myself to focus on external events that I struggled to respond appropriately to my sister.

"My Goddess... You look tormented today," my apostle declared in a worried tone.

Finally, my sister continued her words before I even had a chance to speak. I had mixed feelings about this. In any case, I couldn't delay my answer any longer, even if I struggled to express myself. Besides, my only current wish, which was to isolate myself from everyone else, wasn't helping. I strengthened my Will, trying to shake off my momentary paralysis.

To my shame, however, I couldn't get my voice to reach my sister's ears. Fortunately, she continued the conversation, having no doubt understood that I was unwilling or unable to converse at the moment.

"My Goddess, if you're not feeling well, you can talk to me about it. I know you don't trust me enough, though. But I want you to know that I'm willing to listen. I don't have anything else to do right now anyway."

No matter how hard I tried to find something suspicious in my apostle's voice or the expression on her face, it ended in failure. To my astonishment, she seemed sincere. What would I make of her invitation to tell her about my fears? While it was confirmed that I now had more confidence in Systalia than when we first met, I wasn't ready to reveal that part of myself.

Unconsciously, I still didn't trust my sister. This realization increased my own self-loathing. After all, I knew she had no reason to repeat my fears to strangers. "A priori" was the problem that always prevented me from speaking to her honestly. I wasn't sure she was an ally and not a disguised enemy.

After all, her presence at the scene of our encounter, the fact that she'd been the only survivor with me, her secrets: everything about her was suspect. Yet deep down, I felt more joy at the sight of her than distrust. I knew perfectly well that she represented no danger. I had a hunch that she would be my greatest ally. Thus, I could undoubtedly confide in her.

Nevertheless, another part of me was absolutely suspicious of my sister and everything she stood for, even if the reason for this escaped me as much as it did this other self. None of us could understand the source of these contradictory feelings towards Systalia. We also needed to find out what she meant to Us. At the very least, I could say a few words to show my partial trust in her.

"My Apostle, your concerns about me are legitimate, but I'm not ready to talk about them yet. Not while we're at the Academy here. When we get back, I promise to tell you about some of my fears. However, I'd like you to do me a favor in exchange. You must know what it is, don't you? Do you accept these conditions?"

Systalia's face wrinkled as her lips pursed. Yet it wasn't displeasure, but rather perplexity... and surprisingly apprehension. I could only wait for her answer in the anguish of the ever-longer, ever-more-eternal seconds. Nevertheless, that eternity ended as my sister's lips loosened and her face took on a neutral expression.

"My Goddess, I think... Yes, that's it. I accept your conditions, at least in part. I could provide you with some of the information you require when we return to the Refuge. You should know, however, that I won't be able to tell you everything. I'm sorry in advance. It's true... I definitely can't."

I heard everything she said perfectly, even her last, barely-whispered sentence. I sensed that it wasn't directed at me, which was intriguing. Unfortunately, I decided not to pursue the subject further, as I won't get any more information now. I could always try my luck when we got back to the Refuge.

That is if we made it out of the Academy alive. Strangely enough, all my confidence from the start of the expedition had vanished, leaving me with a profound doubt as to whether we'd ever get out of here. Nevertheless, the situation wasn't desperate enough for me to lose hope entirely, even if this apparently contradicted my emotional outburst just before.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Now that I'd been extricated from the emotions in which I'd become mired, thanks to the distraction offered by the brief discussion with my apostle, I wasn't quite so distraught. The feelings that had infiltrated my mind before had little to do with present events. Above all, they were a reminder of the similarity between the present circumstances and the distant past.

This fact left me wondering. When had I experienced a situation similar to the present? Despite repeated questioning, the intuitive answer remained the same. It was definite: shortly before I woke up in the bloody room. This conclusion reminded me, moreover, that I still had no knowledge of the room in which I had awakened or of the very function of the magic circle.

Much to my dismay, my instincts told me I would receive the total answer for a short time. Nevertheless, I knew I'd be able to pick up a few tidbits of information from the organization that was targeting me. After all, given their continued pursuit of us, they couldn't be out of the loop. Especially as we'd been very discreet in the two cities.

Indeed, no one could have known about my extraordinary power since everyone who had witnessed it was dead. Even if someone spied on us in the shadows, as long as they recognized our existence, they would be absorbed into the Void. After all, anyone who looks into the Void, even if they erase their presence, is noticed by the Void. There is simply no escape other than death.

Of course, these remarks only concerned the expression of Our Will and, therefore, the use of Void's energy undiluted with mana. Any other use of mana could allow someone to spy on us without suffering the consequences. However, such moments were rare; a spy from the organization would have had to catch a glimpse of our powers by chance.

But none of the people I had confronted seemed exceptional enough to be followed by the organization. Of course, I could always be wrong about the type of person who would attract the organization's interest. But even allowing for this uncertainty, I found it hard to believe that the organization had already found us.

It was clear that the Academicians who wanted to capture us had known about us since I first woke up. Even if they weren't directly involved in the events that had led to my amnesia, it was more than likely that they were connected to these people. I just hoped they had a close link to the people responsible for my waking up in a sea of corpses.

I had to stop kidding myself, though. It was doubtful that the organization's links with those responsible for my amnesia would be sufficient for them to hold crucial information about my past. Besides, I had the unpleasant sensation that my past self had attracted the animosity of humans high up in the World. I momentarily broke out in a cold sweat at the mere thought before finally pulling myself together.

In any case, these questions will be answered in due course. For now, my sole objective was to find freedom. I replied to my apostle to let her know that I accepted the conditions before reviewing our options for getting out of this dungeon with her.

Indeed, although there was virtually no light in this cold, gloomy place, we could see the approximate dimensions of the room. Fortunately, the exit from the dungeon could be reached in about ten steps. Moreover, the alternation between ambient darkness and a slightly less somber hue indicated that there must be bars.

At least, that's what the general shape of these alternations made us think if such suppositions even made sense. After all, we were not immune to a spell that confused our senses. Nevertheless, at this stage, we had no choice but to rely on our perceptions and pray that they weren't distorted by some subterfuge.

So, after inspecting the gaol several times over a long period of time and making sure that there were no objects there other than ourselves, we began to extricate ourselves from the handcuffs. Although we couldn't confirm whether we were indeed imprisoned, the presence of these objects was evidence that our enemies were a little wary of us.

Even if they considered us enough of a threat to hang my sister's body on the wall, they couldn't have known about all our powers; otherwise, they'd have blindfolded us and taken The Book from us. As for the latter, I was less sure of the conclusion I could draw since they might have felt that the risk wasn't worth the trouble of ending up charred by mysterious black-and-white flames.

On the other hand, the presence of the bag in which we had placed our scrolls and the revolver was nowhere to be found. So they weren't arrogant enough to leave us any weapons. The only solution was to use the Void's energy through Our Will. After all, we could only recreate a spell with a medium-like scroll.

But even if we could inscribe a spell in The Book, if it even worked, it would take too long. Plus, as we didn't possess the ability to see in the dark, writing in almost total darkness... No matter how I looked at it, it didn't seem a realistic option. You may think that, in this case, we could amplify the muscle control spell.

I will dash your hopes right now, but that would never have worked since its variables cannot be altered once a spell has been cast. Besides, we had to find the scrolls as soon as possible, as the spell's effects would quickly end. Even if, for some reason, the spell had lasted longer than initially planned, it was still a spell that needed to be recharged regularly.

So, I had no reason to use mana now. Even more so if I wanted to reserve it for scrolls. Indeed, the time it took to recharge mana to a satisfactory level was considerable, even considering both my sister's and my mana reserves. Even if we could rewrite the spells quickly, they would only be helpful in our current circumstances.

Indeed, most of the spells could have been more helpful in direct combat. Instead, they were used to escape from battle, for camouflage, or for support during an unavoidable confrontation. The few spells used in combat were tricks or traps to distract the enemy. We didn't write offensive spells simply due to their exorbitant cost.

In short, we had to make do with spells that prioritized the lowest mana cost for the greatest possible expected effect, to the detriment of freedom of use due to the various conditions necessary to realize and scope their impact. After all, we were using elements already present in our surroundings, and the landscape of the city was not at all the same as that of the Academy.

In fact, even rooms with almost identical landscapes had a slightly different environment that significantly diminished the effects of some spells and amplified others. Consequently, the only solution left was to use Our Will and subvert the World's Will, but in a radically different way than usual.

Compared to my usual practice of using Our Will to absorb people into the Void, I had to use it on my apostle herself this time. So, instead of subverting the World's Will to control our surroundings, I had to ensure that my sister's body was freed from the restrictions imposed by the World.

Although I had already used Void's energy to enable Systalia to move after our confrontation with the Academician, it was only an energy source. But now it was different. I didn't just need a source of energy. I needed to change the World's laws for a brief moment. Indeed, using Void's energy alone was acceptable, but was it worth it in terms of energy consumption?

Our Will required an immeasurable amount of Void's energy compared to using it alone. This was logical, as using Void's energy as a raw energy source and a tool to subvert the World's Will was substantially different.

However, unlike in the old days, the increase in physical capacity would have to be gigantic to destroy the chains in which my apostle was trapped. I would need far more Void's energy than I currently possessed to free my sister from the shackles placed on her body. Unless I used Our Will to subvert the World's Will on the chains and thus weaken their restriction.

In this particular case, and because it was for such a short period, using Our Will was the most energy-efficient choice. Of course, the energy saving was mainly due to the fact that I had decided to transfer Our Will to the chains via Systalia's body, and therefore from the inside, rather than the outside.

Note that this tactic was of limited use under normal circumstances since it required the object to be directly hit. However, in a confrontation, the opponent shouldn't have touched us for obvious reasons. If you're wondering, no, I could never have used this method when we were with the Academician.

I couldn't bandage appropriately, and, above all, because I had to act quickly before the teleportation ended. After all, my inexperience in using Our Will prevented me from activating it instantly. Even now, after several minutes, I was struggling to avoid Our Will from overflowing my sister's body.

However, even though controlling Our Will was proving excessively arduous, I wasn't giving up hope. I had to keep it in Systalia's body long enough for the Void to understand. As I felt Our Will struggling for the umpteenth time, I sensed the Void finally becoming cooperative. After all, Our Will was the union of my Will and the Void's Will.

So, if the Void didn't want me to, I wasn't in a position to have complete control over Our Will. Even if the Void hadn't let me have total control over Our Will, it didn't matter because it had finally understood what I wanted right now. My Void and I were thus in perfect harmony, further strengthening Our Will, leaving my sister's body to frantically join the chains.

Suddenly, a strange feeling filled the place where the chains were. My apostle noticed it too, as she immediately turned her head, while astonishment became the only visible emotion on her face. This reaction was quite normal when the chains became like a black-and-white kaleidoscope. After all, at that moment, nothing was more magnificent for me to contemplate than this image.

However, we couldn't go into raptures over this idyllic image. After all, we had a duty to perform. So I brought Systalia out of her trance, reminding her to free herself from the chains, even though they were weakened and her body's physical stats were a little boosted by the Void's energy unused by Our Will. No sooner had Systalia moved her limbs than the chains shattered into a thousand pieces.

Or rather, that's how I'd thought it would turn out. Fortunately, Our Will had proved far more effective than I could ever have imagined. Indeed, the chains had been fully engulfed in the Void. Until now, when I used Our Will, only humans had been consumed by the Void. The environment remained untouched.

Of course, there was the time we found the mysterious book, but then the Void hadn't absorbed anything from the surroundings. Instead, the Void's energy had altered the landscape in an impossible way for me to reproduce on my own right now. It was, therefore, a fundamentally different case. That's why I'd always assumed that objects couldn't be digested by the Void through Our Will.

At least, that's what I'd assumed until now. Now, I finally understood that objects could be swallowed up by the Void. Of course, this fact meant that I didn't need to strengthen my sister's body, and so had wasted Void's energy. Still, I was happy, for I had discovered an incredible new use for Our Will.

We could now counteract many situations I didn't know how to handle. I kept this information in mind for the next time I needed to use this power. One thing puzzled me: why had the Void never absorbed objects if it could do so? I could only think of two probable causes.

Firstly, when using Our Will, my Void and I wanted to kill humans. Thus, Our Will only acted on our enemies and ignored all objects within reach. Secondly, the Void itself probably preferred humans to objects. I could even push the reasoning further and consider that this was why the Void had initially been reluctant to help me guide Our Will through the chains.

However, the question then became: why was the Void disgusted by objects? Was it less nourishing than humans? Or was it something more fundamental to the Void's very nature? I didn't know. Don't think I was unhappy about my ignorance. After all, the joy of our newfound freedom of movement was just too much.

So nothing could mar this moment. Nothing... not even that oppressive feeling of being watched by a third party, which my mind promptly forgot anyway. Indeed, I was wrong to consider us free, for all this time, these chains were not what restricted our freedom.

When you think about it, it's pretty understandable. After all, the lack of humans to watch over us in case we wanted to escape should have raised my eyebrows. In reality, we were more chained than ever now that we'd given crucial information to the enemy.

Unfortunately, I paid no attention to this alarming problem. It was undoubtedly my biggest mistake on my trip to the Academy...