Day 278

I awoke to the sight of a ceiling. It was familiar, but not too familiar. I was covered lightly by a blanket, within a white one, surrounded by brown wooden walls, within a room with a desk, a chair, and red carpet. This was Coinnle's room.

I couldn't forget what had happened the moment before. I shot up and felt for my wounds, but there were none. Wait, how could I feel my wounds? With what? I lifted my hands out of the blanket and was greeted with a fully functioning pair of perfect hands. I reached inside my mouth and felt for teeth, those were there. I went up to my ears and felt for them as well, and they were there. I checked my tail, they were there. I checked my right foot, and my entire leg was as it has always been.

Was it all a dream? It had to be. Why else would I be perfectly fine? It was a very bad one, a very long one, but it was ultimately just a dream. It's the day after I've been whipped, right? But why was my back healed then?

I don't want to think. No more thinking. Let's get some rest, I'd like to sleep for a bit. Or maybe not sleep, just rest. I hope I can see Alfred soon. Where's Coinnle? I like her, I hope she's not far.

A soft humming was heard, a voice that sounded feminine yet familiar. Not old, but definitely not a little girl, the voice sounded as if it was coming from next to me. It clicked in my mind, a sudden flash of realization, I was humming without realizing it. It was a low hum, more of a continued whimper, but I couldn't stop it. And the whimper turned into crying, and then into sobbing, and it was all I could to not scream my lungs out.

What was happening? I'm scared. I don't want to experience this anymore, it was just a dream yet why am I so frightened? I can't stop shaking.

The door slammed open, and that shook me deeper than this newfound panic had. I cowered under my arms, holding my ears close to myself so that no more of that noise could reach. I could feel my sobbing, but otherwise there was nothing else. But then a hand touched me, and I tried I crawled away from it as fast as I could, into the corner of the bed, which was one of the corners in the room.

I looked at who had assaulted me. Coinnle stood there, her face etched in deep worry. "C-Coinnle?" Coinnle nodded, gently getting on top of the bed and crawling towards me. I cowered, but I had no where else to run, and then I began to whimper again. But Coinnle kept coming, until she was close enough to touch me. But she didn't, instead letting me whimper by myself, until I could finally find enough control over myself to stop it.

And even then, she stayed there, not moving. She wasn't looking at me, but instead to the wall beside me. It was like she was trying to get a scared animal to accept her presence, and I guess that was what I am. Neither of us moved, I keeping as close an eye on her as I could, and her staring at the wall rather than me. She gave a glance towards me and I Jumped, but she kept the gaze for a moment longer, testing for further reactions, probably. I gave none, instead nervously gulping empty air at her continued looking.

Coinnle slowly started to extend her hand towards me, my gaze removing itself from her eyes and turning to her hand instead. As always, it was a dainty thing, something that I shouldn't be afraid of. And yet I cowered slightly, a movement that I couldn't fully control. A dread that I shouldn't have been feeling. I stayed as still as I possibly could get, watching as the hand slowly moved towards me, until ti finally touched the white dress I was wearing, and then touched me.

I yelped. Why did I yelp? Was I in pain? Was she hurting me? What was she doing? No, none of these things make sense. Her touch was soft, and once she had touched me she kept her hand firmly in place. I was shivering, but she waited for everything to level out in me once again. Once my breathing had slowed to a better pace, and my shivering not so debilitating, she started to scooch over to me, and this time I didn't do anything in response.

"You alright?" Coinnle asked, removing the hand from my arm and placing it on her lap. She positioned herself so that her back could lay on the headboard of the bed. I was directly on the wall itself, although my thighs were touching the headboard. We were very close to each other at this point.

I nodded, then I tried to speak, but I quickly close my mouth when I noticed something strange, I didn't want to speak. I wanted to be quiet, to not make my presence too noticeable. It didn't make much sense, Coinnle had already found and caught me. But my instincts sometimes don't make sense.

"That's good. You've been asleep for twenty two days, or rather been off and on conscious for a while. Since I didn't know when you'd wake up I've lent you my bed, waking up to a familiar sight rather than a foreign one would be better, I thought. You remember me, right?"

I nodded, this time forcing myself to speak. "Y-yeah. Princess."

She gave a smile and nodded. I want to let you know that you're fine now, understand? No one will hurt you."

I nodded. She lessened her smile and adopted a sympathetic look, hugging her knees and placing her hands on top of them. "Would you like to be pet?"

No, not really. I mean, I wouldn't mind it right now, but it wasn't a need that I wanted fulfilled. But Coinnle didn't wait for an answer as she brought her hand up to my head and placed it there, and began to rub my head gently. I didn't feel much of a reaction, at first. But the rubbing turned to a slight playing with my ears, and then to longer rubs, and at that point I couldn't deny that it was starting to make me feel better.

She took her hand away and looked at me again. "Well?"

"Please continue."

"I'd like a better position, then. My arm won't get tired, since I'm me and all, but it'd be easier if your head was in a better position. Come, lay back down in bed."

Coinnle scooted over and pat the bed next to her, on the pillow specifically. I scooted over back to my original position and laid down in the bed, feeling that it was safer to move around now that Coinnle was here. She had been here from the beginning, what was I on about? I don't know. But I trust her. She moved down into the same pillow and turned to her side, her face facing me. She took the blanket and threw it over the both of us.

"Get on your side as well, facing me." I turned my head towards her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. She waited patiently for me to follow her orders. I nodded and lifted myself and jostled into the correct position. We were now facing each other, a position I wasn't all that familiar being with. I normally slept on my back, so this is making the entire thing odd.

Coinnle moved a bit closer and placed her hands behind my head, then placed some pressure down on it. "Move down a bit." Alright. I moved down a bit, and now my eyes were facing where he neck was. Then she started to pet me.

I never felt more safe in someone's arms than I had within the minutes that followed. I had closed my eyes, and focused entirely on the sensation of her fingers running through my hair, touching the back of my ears and very occasionally rubbing what little fur extended beyond my ears. A deep rumble started to emanate from my chest, a sound that I had never made before. But that too felt right, so I didn't pay it any attention.

I must've fell asleep from Coinnle's affection, since I was awoken by her slight jostling. I didn't want to wake up. Why did the petting stop? Where did the time pass?

Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

"Eithne, wake up. I need to do other things, unfortunately. Wake up, Eithne."

"I'm up, I'm awake," I mumbled, pushing myself to my side and lifting my back off of the bed.

"Good. Do you want to follow me around for a bit? Stretching the limbs after being so long immobile wouldn't hurt."

I nodded, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes the entire time. She made her way out of bed and I soon followed, feeling the oddly warm touch of the wooden floor beneath me. We headed out the door and walked through the hallway, into the main hallway I had previously grown used to seeing before. Coinnle moved towards a door, one that I hadn't been in before, and opened it, leaving the door open for me to pass through.

We continued along a new hallway, one with doors on both sides and a T section at the end. There was a long white rug on the floor, a straight line through the entirety of the hallway, and occasionally both paintings and vasings were placed throughout the distance. Coinnle took me to the first door and let me inside.

What I saw within was sort of a jump between the plain, almost painfully perfect decorations of the hallway, inside there was another rug of red and white. Red as a base, yellow working as an emboildery. There were books, seats, a desk, and what looked to be some sort of bed. But it wasn't one, it was shaped like a bench but it had cushions on it. I moved towards that and tried to test it out, to see what its business was.

"I'll be back. Wait here for a bit."

I nodded, taking a seat on the odd bench. It didn't take Coinnle more than a minute to arrive back, she taking a seat right next to me.

"I don't want you to freak out over who's going to come here next, alright? If you feel scared, then say so. Grab my hand, please."

Coinnle extended her hand and I tentatively gave it, she dropped her hand between us and I took in her words. Who's going to come next? Alfred?

Alfred?

I tensed at the name. Terror started to drown out all other thoughts. I would have to meet him again. I needed to him again. The conflict between wanting to never see his face again and absolutely needing to see it as well warred inside me, until I heard the sound of metal clacking, and then the door moving in the corner of my eyes. In long, extraordinarily long, moments, I watched as the door moved open.

A maid had opened the door. And behind her, a man. Tall, blond, fiery eyed, a chin that held no beard and a head that had hair that was too long. The nose that was tall and slightly thin, and the long face that made up his entire frame. This was a face I knew, a face that had been etched into my heart. I squeezed Coinnle's hand and placed my feet on top of the bench, moving closer to the end of it.

Alfred walked into the room, and then the maid closed the door and left.

He picked a chair and brought it over, placing it on the rug, near but not in front of the bench. I watched his every movement as carefully as I could. Sitting down and looking over at me squarely, Alfred began to speak. "How much do you remember?"

I didn't respond.

"Rest assured I had made certain that your resolve to stay with me wouldn't be without fruit. Do you still wish to? Stay, I mean."

I nodded, besides myself. He let out a sigh that was longer than a man should've been able to sigh, running his hand through his hair and closing his eyes. He nodded. "Mind explaining to her your motivations, Alfred?"

Alfred nodded. "You're a magician now, one that had taken her first step in the path of immortality. People change when this happens, things that were passing interests before would become world defining obsessions afterwords. For me, I had always been interested in art. When I had managed to reach into the state of a cultivator that interest turned into a passion, and from a passion into an obsession. For you, yours seems to have been to stay with me. Or perhaps it's some other motive that you've not yet figured out.

"Whatever the reason, from experience I knew that drastic measures had to be taken in order to stop this obsession from taking root too deeply. It can't be fully removed, but people can be dissuaded, perhaps turning the obsession away from something truly dangerous. He might've given up on me if I treated you with nothing but cruelty. I was mistaken, and for that I am sorry. But I'm not sorry for having done it."

"Why did you not want her to be around you enough to do that?" Coinnle spoke the words that had echoed within my mind, saying in place of I that had refused to speak to him. Alfred nodded, almost as if he had rehearsed this very conversation.

"I didn't know what her obsession was, and we both know how deep it runs. She had been too aggressive in her advancements on me, and I took that as a bad sign for what was to come. Most importantly, I think I'll hurt her in ways worse than I have already in the future. I'm not an affectionate man. The only thing I've cared about for the last seventy years was my work, my art. Women haven't interested me, and neither have the company of men. I wouldn't be a good companion for her, and the trauma I had inflicted wouldn't truly trouble her for more than a decade. She's a strong girl. And, the most important part, I will day before her. I didn't know how she would handle it."

"And yet you don't regret committing it?" Coinnle continued her questioning, and I nodded in order to show my agreement to her words.

"No. Right now I'm hoping that she'll learn that I am dangerous, and that my words should be listened to. I hope she's learned that."

Coinnle looked at me, this time expecting me to answer. She squeezed my hand, somehow having enough strength to squeeze despite my grip probably being enough to break most people's bones. I nodded, the only response I wanted to give. Or, the only one I could. Alfred scratched his head and continued to stare at me.

"What's going through your head, Eithne?" He asked me. What was going through my head? Fear. I wanted to escape, now. I wanted Coinnle to make Alfred go away. I wanted to forget everything, perhaps live in this mansion with Coinnle, forever. She was nice. I liked her, and despite being only ten she held enough wisdom to bring even elders to shame. And, she was kind. I could repeat that five more times and it still wouldn't do her justice.

But I also wanted to stay with him. I wanted to make things right again. I wanted to learn from him, to make things for him, to be fed by him and feed him as well, I wanted to hold him tightly and he me tightly. What more was there? I had an interest in his body, yes, but it was secondary to everything else. Probably even tertiary. Not a high want on my list.

I didn't answer. And seeing that I refused to answer, Alfred moved on. Looks like he wasn't going to force me to speak.

"I need you regardless of anything else. You're healthy, and I've brought everything I need you to complete for me here. If you wish to stay here-"

"No!" I shouted before I could stop myself from moving, and as if I was frightened by my own voice I hid deeper into myself. An impossible task, but one I was committed on achieving.

"No? Very well. Then, when you're ready to leave, and once again be alone with me, then we'll depart. I'm sorry for what had happened, Eithne. Abide by my words and I promise I will not do what I had done again."

I didn't answer, too afraid to. Not of Alfred, but of the shout I had just yelled, that had freaked me out more than it should've. Coinnle squeezed my hand, and I glanced at her. Her eyes were closed, and her face pointed slightly down. She opened them and glanced at me and kept her gaze.

I nodded. I would prefer to be next to her for a little while longer. I don't want to be with Alfred, alone, right now. I'd like to see him, but I'd not be able to control myself if I was trapped in a room with him. I don't want to imagine it, either. Is this what trauma feels like? I hate it.

"Let's have her stay for one or two more days. Truthfully and honestly I'd prefer to have her stay here and you elsewhere, I don't think your actions were justifiable in any way. But you weren't outside of your rights, so I can't punish you. But neither can I force Eithne to stay here with me, such is my predicament. Promise to me you won't hurt her like this again."

Alfred nodded. "I promise on my spirit that I won't, I do not think my actions were all that justifiable either. But they were necessary, regardless of the outcome. Boundaries had to be laid, and even after getting whipped by Radanta she decided to try to test me. Drastic measures were necessary."

Coinnle made a humph, then looked my way. "Do you want to follow me to the room you'll be staying at, or do you want to do something else? Do the tasks he had provided you, maybe?"

I nodded, and Coinnle made a slight smile. "Good answer, I guess. Come." Coinnle got up, her hand hold still kept, and dragged me away from the bench and out the room. I don't know what she had decided was my answer, I had only given her a nod, but whatever it was I trusted her enough to not take me anywhere I wouldn't like.

But my trust had already been shown to be a bad metric. It wasn't a certainty. I needed to make certain that I could trust her not to hurt me, so I asked her. "Coinnle?"

"Yes?"

"Will you hurt me?"

"Not in a way that I think is malicious, Eithne. I promise you that."

Good enough for me. I nodded and kept my hand held to hers.