Day 131

It was stupid. I knew it. But I couldn't get it out of my mind, plans of how to get Alfred to not notice my attempt at enthralling him into my control kept running through my mind. No matter what I did, whether it was bathing, reading, or meditating, it stuck within me. I don't want to relive that level of shame that I had felt yesterday. Regardless of whether my crush was transient, I needed the assurance of that it will never happen again.

It was night time, I was sitting next to Coinnle with the children's book on the desk. She no longer sat on my lap as she had done on the first day, instead having a servant bring me my own chair so that we could both sit comfortably. A certain level of distance was developed between the two of us, but it wasn't something I minded. On the contrary, not having her constantly clinging on me was a relief.

But it was time to spring my plan. I needed to go to Alfred, to find him before he slept. I already knew where his room was located, I had asked Coinnle and she had shown me where the guest rooms normally are. But my best bet for catching Alfred in ambush was when he was asleep, and I didn't want to risk waking him up by opening the door to his room. I had already come up with an excuse for why I wouldn't be sleeping with Coinnle today, I wanted my own room since I didn't feel comfortable constantly taking advantage of her kindness. She accepted it, although she looked sad.

It was about time. I could feel it. I yawned, a real yawn, and stretched my limbs and spine while still sitting on the chair. Coinnle looked at me weirdly and said the words I had wanted her to say myself, "You look tired. Wanna head to bed?"

I nodded, perhaps with a bit too much enthusiasm. I could see something behind her gaze, suspicion. It had been there all day, but she never mentioned it. It must've been my imagination instead, I don't think she caught on to what I was planning. She didn't know the entirety of my abilities to begin with, she doesn't know.

"If anything bad happens come straight to my room, okay?"

I nodded, not thinking too deeply about her comment. "I'll be heading off, then. Thank you for your company and tutelage, Princess Coinnle. And good night."

"Night." She gave with a small and sad smile.

I closed the door as I left, entering into the hallway and into the last two doors of the hallway. To the left was the Lord's room, to the right the guest rooms. I opened the door inside and casually made my way towards Alfred's room. I knew the exact one, and I knew the exact layout as well. I would hide within a closet, and from there I would use one of the oldest tricks I knew. Concealment, without it I would've died within the first couple of days in the wilderness.

I sneaked my way into Alfred's room and hid myself in the closet that I knew to be there. I doubted he would open it, considering it was empty of anything and that anything that he would want could be more easily stored somewhere else.

Now was a waiting game. I caught my breathing and slowed it down to as low a pace as I could get it. I mentally commanded my muscles to relax, for my mana to blend in with the surroundings. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear when steps are made and when Alfred would be back. Alone in the closet all I had for company was my thoughts, but all they gave was worries over possible failures. What if he opened the closet door? Then I'd come up with an excuse. Worrying now would provide me no benefit.

After what felt like hours, to moments, to minutes, to whatever arbitrary amount of time I had heard the sound of the door opening, and of it closing. And then the sound of walking, of clothes being removed and laid down. But nothing that came closer to the closet. I kept my calm and focused my attention away from Alfred for a few minutes, I needed to regain my composure. Calm down, my heart, it'll be fine.

Now is the real waiting game. I had to wait until he slept. I would stand here for hours if needed, and I had counted the seconds to be absolutely sure. One hour, two hours, three. When it neared four I began to open the closet door, slowly, carefully. With delicate and light feet I moved out of the closet, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness of the room.

A body was in the bed, laying sideways and away from me. This is perfect. I waited for a couple more minutes after I left the closet, just to be absolutely certain he hadn't woken up. Then I moved. Each step was planned. The floor was wooden, and to make sure my feet didn't stick to it when I walked I wore socks. There were no creaks, something I had to thank my very light weight for.

Fiften minutes passed as I walked towards Alfred. I was next to him now. All I needed to do was to touch his skin, not too gently as to be agitating, but not too firm as to wake him up. Slowly I moved my hand towards his exposed neck, the blond hair of his head being apparent in the darkness of the room, and the pale flesh of his skin being all the more so.

I touched him. He didn't move. Perfect.

I felt for the mana within him, finding his spirit and carefully, very carefully, watching the movement of his entire structure. The breathing of his lungs as they fuel the fire of his body, how the fire interacts with the entirety of his being and how the earth within him constructs his bones. I knew what I had to do now. I gathered up as much mana as I could on my fingertip, condensing it when none more could fit. Even when I was at the limit of how much I could control in a single point I kept piling it up, until it nearly overflowed and exploded out of my hand.

The amount of mana needed to enthrall a simple insect wasn't great, but the amount of mana to enthrall a rodent was. I've never managed to enthrall anything bigger than a dog, and the only reason I could cast the spell on the dog was purely because of how loyal they are already. For a man I can't imagine how much mana it would require to successfully cast the spell, but I was desperate. I needed this to work.

With unhindered and devoted care I formed the spell within my finger and sent it slowly into Alfred. The point is to cover his spirit within a thin layer of my own mana, and then from there influence it into whatever actions I want him to commit, or not to in this case. Interact with no woman affectionately, no one but me would be his desire. I needed him to abide by this, and I am willing to sacrifice my life in trying to achieve this.

Was I being sane? No. I knew it. But never again do I want to feel what I had felt yesterday.

The moment I had gotten the spell into Alfred was the moment that I was dragged into bed, the arm that was touching Alfred's neck grabbed and almost torn off by the force of whatever had grabbed and pulled me. It hurt. The entire right side of my body felt like it had been bashed by sticks. I couldn't breathe, and the only thing I was able to do was look at the ceiling in terror. Was I caught? What happened? I'm scared.

A hand touched my face and a weight settled on my stomach. It was heavy, and the hand strong, whoever had grabbed me turned my face and made me make eye contact. In the dark I could tell it was Alfred, his face calm and his eyes straight. Any feelings of confusion or anger died within me, replaced with stomach knotting and heart stopping horror. It wasn't the pain of his hands against my cheeks, his squeezing that felt like my jaw would break. Nor was it the still aching throbs that emanated from my side. It was that calm look, as if it this was nothing to him.

"I had thought you better than this. That was an enthrallment spell, what made you think this would work?"

He didn't let loose his hands, I couldn't speak because of the pressure. This had to be intentional on his part, so I stood silent and waited for him to continue. I didn't try to shake his hands off, or shake or nod my head in fear of him mistaking my movement for resistance.

"Do you know what the penalties are for attempted enslavement of man is? Do you?" His eyebrows knitted themselves slightly, a barely perceptible change that one might've overlooked. If that one wasn't me, that is. I again waited for him to continue, his pause adding dreadful tension to my heart.

"It's a death penalty."

Fuck. Am I going to die today? Was I really going to die because of this? I might've missed mom, but I don't want to visit her in the afterlife so soon, and she wouldn't be happy to know the reason for my death.

"You had been acting strange since yesterday. Your insult against the Princess was unforgivable, but still she forgave you. She had treated you with nothing but kindness, and you had insulted her virtue. And you come in here today, sneaking into my room, attempting to enthrall me?" Alfred squeezed his hand on my jaw a little tighter, and now I could feel tears start to form in my eyes both from the pain of his squeezing and the fear of his judgement of me.

I had expected him to break my jaw, to crush it between his fingers as if was a rotten stick. But he let go, the intense pressure suddenly being lifted sending new, agonizing shocks of pain throughout my body. I had forgotten to breath and his release had reminded me of it.

"Why? What did I do wrong? Had I done you evil? I've treated you with kindness, and my teasing isn't enough cause to justify this. Tell me."

I tried to catch my breathing, to try to form words, but I couldn't form anything in my mind. I was trapped by the idea of being killed by Alfred, and the sudden realizations of the evil I had tried to do on him. What was I doing? Why did I think this would work? Am I retarded?

"Sorry," was all I could say. I repeated it too many times to count, through sobbing and slurred words I tried to make amends. "Forgive me, please, Alfred, please."

A slap deafened my ears and sent my neck painfully to the side. I couldn't move my hands to touch my face, the entirety of it having become numb, and the taste of iron starting to well up within my mouth.

"Is that all? No justification? No reasons? Just sorry?" I didn't speak, both out of being unable to and out of fear of getting hit again. I tried to move my neck but the muscles spasmed instead, was it broken? At least I could feel everything from below my neck, although ti was only pain. Alfred grabbed my cheeks, gently this time, and moved it back into position and kept his hand there.

"I-I-I," don't say sorry, "I don't want, don't, don't leave me alone, I don't want you to leave me alone." I started to sob again. Some part of me felt my conduct to be absolutely pathetic, and that same part tried to reign in my spasming emotions. "I didn't want you to leave me, don't hurt me anymore, please, Alfred."

Alfred kept his stare on me. For what felt like hours but was probably minutes, he watched my still crying face with an intense focus on his face. Then he moved his hand to my neck and the pain I had felt from there vanished, although everything else still hurt. He got off me and got off the bed as well, he started to put on clothes while I still laid there, unwilling to move but keeping all my attention on Alfred's form. What was he doing?

"Get up." I nodded and tried to use my right arm, but it wouldn't move. So I shifted myself to my left and crawled off the bed, placing careful feet on the ground and standing up. I think my arm was broken, or dislocated, or something. How did I even get into that position? Alfred had finished dressing at that point. "Follow me." I nodded.

We left his room and began to walk towards the direction of the main hallway. "Does anyone else know you were going to do this?"

I don't know. Coinnle might've been suspicious of me but I don-

"Speak everything, don't hide anything." I nodded and quickly started to speak my thoughts.

"I don't know, Coinnle looked a bit suspicious, bu-"

"Did you tell her?"

"N-no."

"Let me be clear. There's a high chance you'll be executed tonight, a very high chance it would be within the next hour. Answer with me only the honest truth, understand?"

"Yes, Alfred."

"Don't speak my name."

I wanted to die, and it looks like I'll be getting that soon anyway. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I won't do it again, I promise on my life. But I couldn't speak anymore, my throat was too dry and my mouth wouldn't move even if I wanted it to.

We've arrived at the main hallway and went towards the room of Coinnle instead of the Lord's, or anyone else's. We were standing in front of the door to her strange hallway, within the white room that served as a junction between the hallway and her personal rooms. Alfred knocked on the deep brown door and waited for her response, and I next to him with my head cast down.

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Footsteps could be heard, followed by the unlocking of a door and then the turning of the knob. Coinnle's smiling face was revealed, a face that looked as if she was ready to console a friend who had just done something stupid.

"Alfred! Nice to see you. Had Eithne done something stupid? Crawl into your bed? Try to-" she looked over to me, at the face that I could feel to have already become swollen and bruised, and her smile vanished and her expression turned to confusion, anger, and then fear. "What did she do?"

"Attempt to enthrall me." Alfred's words were simple but it cut me deeper than any other words had done before. I hung my face down and tried to cover my injuries and shame, but I could still feel Coinnle's gaze turn to me. What do I do? What did I do? Why was I so stupid?

I heard a sigh come from Coinnle. "What are you planning to do to her by bringing her here?"

"I want you to help me convince the Lord to not have her be executed for her crimes."

"I see. Do you know why she attempted the enthrallment?"

"No, she hasn't said a specific reason. And I think she's too unstable to articulate her thoughts. May we come inside?"

I heard footsteps, and then felt a hand grab my own. I was dragged inside into Coinnle's room, the grip on my wrist not strong but still firm, and positioned next to the bed. Alfred placed a hand on my shoulder and put pressure on me, as if trying to make me sit. He could've tossed my on the bed like a sack of rotting meat if he wanted, but he chose this. Even after I had tried to enthrall him he still cared enough not to hurt me and even to try to convince Coinnle to help me not get executed.

But why can't you just not tell the Lord? I had enough bravery, or the stupidity, to speak without being asked.

"If you don't want me executed you could not turn me in?"

Alfred turned to me, his face neutral. Coinnle was sitting on her chair and Alfred standing next to the bed frame. He nodded. "I'm sworn to speak about any crimes I've witnessed. I do not have to act against them, but I am forced to tell any local authority about them and everything I know about the circumstance."

Oaths are precious, I know that. I wonder what oaths Alfred had sworn and what were the details, but that doesn't matter right now. I nodded. Tears began to work their way into my eyes again and I tried to clear them away, but it was a losing battle.

"So what do you want me to say? There's very little I could do or say that would win Papa's favor, and it's not like we can look this over, either. Murder and enthrallment are sued against by the state regardless of the victim or whether the victims want a trial. The only thing you have is that it was a failed attempt, but you're a cultivator. And I know you've sworn an oath to speak the truth when asked to, so you can't lie."

Alfred didn't answer for a while, instead looking off at the wall in thought. Was this truly an inescapable situation for me? Crying won't fix it.

"Eithne told me you were suspicious of her. What do you know about her possible motives?"

Coinnle nodded, glancing at me and then looking off into space while answering. "I thought she had a crush on you. Now I realize a crush is a terrible understatement, an obsession or extreme possessiveness would be more accurate. She did it out of love rather than malicious intent, right, Eithne?"

I nodded. I didn't want to hurt him, I didn't want him to hurt me either. Was it love? I don't know, but I needed him to only look at me. Coinnle continued to speak her thoughts, "Then we can work with that. This isn't the first case of a lover, or two mutual lovers, enchanting each other with a slave spell. Especially when it's mutual is the death penalty not given, and instead the two let to their own business. But this wasn't mutual."

"I want to convince the Lord into giving her a fine rather than the penalty. I think there's enough justification to allow that lenience."

"It's a minimum of five hundred gold, you know. That's a lifetime of debt, and then some, for most."

"We'll work it out."

"She was better off trying to rape you." Coinnle looked at me for that one. "Although that's at an extreme end. I had expected her to try to crawl into your bed or give you a kiss goodnight. You disappoint me, Eithne. Be thankful for Alfred's forgiveness."

I nodded.

"Are you going to keep her this injured? Her arm looks broken, and she might be missing a tooth or three." Coinnle asked, and Alfred shook her head.

"Even without the death penalty she must learn to never do that again. What she got off with was lenient."

I stood silent throughout the entirety of their exchange. I stayed in bed, feeling every awkward moment of silence as neither of them spoke. Alfred let out a sigh, and Coinnle closed her eyes. "Let's go, then." Coinnle spoke, getting off her chair. Alfred silently nodded and I got up as well.

We walked in silence towards the Lord's room. Was he asleep? Do Lords sleep? There's barely any reliable information about their capabilities. And now that I think about it, don't cultivators barely need any sleep? I had stayed by Alfred waiting for the opportunity to catch him while he was asleep, but had he been setting me up the entire time? How did he know I would try to do something to him tonight?

In front of the Lord's door we waited, Alfred taking up the initiative and knocking. Just like last time, we waited for a while before a voice as if coming from the door itself told us to come in. Alfred turned the knob and we all walked in one by one, I coming after Alfred and Coinnle after me.

The Lord was at his desk, as he was last time, but this time he had his face turned to us. Could his chair rotate in place? It looks like it.

"I've heard from the guards. Tell me what happened, Alfred." There are guards around? Where? And when did they see us? How much do they know?

"My Apprentice Eithne tried to enslave me, my Lord."

"And why is she still alive? You have the ability to enact justice against her for her crimes as a veteran soldier of our city."

"I wanted to hold her trial, for a chance of a more forgiving punishment."

The Lord put his hand on his chin and rested his elbow against his armchair. "Tell me everything, then. One by one. Alfred."

"Yes, Lord, thank you for your graciousness. May I start by what happened this afternoon?" The Lord nodded. "Very well. Coinnle had told me she had showed Eithne where my room was located earlier today, and my suspicion for what she might've been planning had started then. I didn't know what she would do, whether it would be innocent or more mischievous, but regardless I would go to my bedroom and pretend to sleep for her sake.

"Tonight, I had walked into my room as planned, feeling the presence of Eithne within the closet. I ignored it and went to bed, pretending to sleep for five hours. She had spent the entire time within that closet, save for a single hour when she had slowly moved closer beside me. I had only begun to move when I noticed a spell being inserted into me, and I immediately recognized it for its similarity to the forbidden enslavement spell. She hadn't learned it from anyone, by her words, as it was a natural instinctive spell

"I grabbed her arm and threw her onto the bed, breaking it in the process. Words were exchanged, but those words I think would be better said by her. After considering her possible motives I had decided she was being dumb rather than malicious, and had decided to speak to your daughter for help. We are here now after all this."

"Very well. Coinnle."

"Yes, papa. Alfred's words are true, of course. Eithne had asked me if I knew where Alfred's room was, and I had brought her there, and while on a walk outside I had spotted Alfred and made to greet him. I told him of that fact. Besides this, I had my own suspicion of what Eithne was doing, but I didn't know what. Later today, after Eithne had asked to go to bed and after a few hours of studying, I had been asked by Alfred, Eithne in tow, for help. I too believe her motives to be foolish. She is a love-struck and impulsive girl, papa, but she is not malicious. Her actions are unforgivable, but Alfred had forgiven them regardless. Please, as a personal request I will ask you to consider giving her a fine and any other punishment other than death."

"Considered. Eithne."

What do I say? Why hadn't they mentioned what I had said and done to Coinnle either? When I called her a nymph? Were they under no obligation to speak that, since I hadn't done a crime? No, stay on topic. "Uh, um... Lord-"

"Is she sound of mind?" The Lord cut me off, looking at Alfred instead of me. Alfred nodded in affirmation.

"She's in considerable pain but otherwise, if she knew better, she had enough time to consider her words."

"Continue, then. Swear an oath you will speak the truth."

"I swear by my life and my soul that I will speak only the truth on this matter, Lord." The Lord nodded. It was a grave commitment to swear this oath, considering the consequence of losing a part of my soul if I had lied even accidentally. "I believe both Si-, er, Master Alfred's and Princess Coinnle's words to be accurate. I, I, I'm an idiot, out of impulse I had tried to enslave Alfred, I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't think it would go like this. I had seen how Alfred interacted with Coinnle, and I grew bitter and resentful over her taking his attention away.

"Please, I'll never do it again. I swear on it, I will never try to enslave another person again. I am sorry, so very sorry."

"Did she speak these words to you when you had caught her, Alfred?"

"No. She had said sorry and forgive me, but it was mostly incoherent whispers and ramblings."

"Thank you for leaving it out then. Very well. Radanta, get me a whip." Who? Everyone stayed in silence for a while, waiting for something or someone going by the name Radanta. And a whip? Was I going to get whipped?

The door opened and a blond haired woman walked into the room, carrying in her hand a brown, long whip. She wore not the clothes of a lady but the clothes of a man, except both her trousers and her tunic hugged her closer than most clothes do. "My Lord, the whip." She said after she walked past us and near him, kneeling down and presenting the whip to him as if in prayer.

"I do not need it. Eithne, take two steps forward and take off your dress and kneel." Oh. I nodded and attempted to take off my dress, the long sleeves of my clothes sending convulsions of pain against me every time my right arm was tugged by it. No one helped as I did my best to take it all off, and I eventually succeeded after painful long minutes. With the dress off, and my breasts plain to see, I covered them with the only arm that was usable and knelt.

"Radanta, whip her. Don't kill her, treat her as a commoner."

"Understood, my Lord. How many times?" Radanta stood by my side and unfurled the whip. It wasn't long, but it was long enough to hurt even without much effort on her part. And I'm absolutely sure she's a cultivator, she could kill me with that whip if she wanted to.

"An hundred." That's a big number. "If she lets a sound out of her mouth, kill her on the spot."

Oh. I looked at the Lord, but he didn't pay attention to me. Pleading wouldn't work, and I was too afraid to speak anyway. Looks like this will be hell. But Alfred spoke up in my stead, Coinnle looking at me with worry in her eyes.

"My Lord, forgive my imprudence, but a hundred lashes, without any healing, would kill her."

"If she dies then she dies. My verdict is this: If she can survive she may live, and be made to pay the fine. If she were to utter a sound, she will die. If she dies while being whipped, then that's it. I will throw her in the dungeons for three days and two nights, if she survives without treatment then she will be free to go, although the fine must be paid."

"Lord, let me take the lashes in her place."

"Denied. Radanta, strike her back evenly. Begin."

"Yes, my Lord."

Radanta raised her whip, the sight of her only barely within the corner of my eye, and almost casually sent it down onto my back. The next moment, all I could feel was white hot pain shooting across my back, feeling as if a fire had taken hold of me. It took everything I had not to yell, or scream, or plead. Then another whip came in quick succession. And then another, and another, each one burning within me greater and greater depths of pain, until my mind no longer worked, and only on bare instinct did I keep my mouth closed and my tongue held.

It felt like an eternity. My sense of time had lost meaning, my entire world compressing itself into the whip, my shame, and my foolishness.

"Eighty more."

By the divine please have mercy on me. Should I speak? I can't bear the pain, I couldn't feel my back or my limbs, all I could feel was a nauseating, world defying agony that didn't abate. The wooden flooring was all I could see now, and I cursed myself for having kept my consciousness for so long. But then, even my thoughts no longer came, and the only one that had stayed was to not move, to not speak, not make a sound. Stay still. Do not move.

And after what felt like years of pain, I felt a hand touch my left, dragging my vision away from the floor and towards the room in general. But I could no longer focus my sight, and everything felt wobbly and distorted. Where was I? What had happened?

"Mom? Alfred?" I heard words, and they sounded like my own. Haggard, distant, and quiet, but my own. Oh. I had spoken. I didn't mean to.

"N-no, I didn't mean to speak, I'm sorry, Alfred, Alfred," I tried to move but whatever held a grip on me was too tight. I moved my neck, the only thing that seemed to work, and in a blur I had spotted the grim face of Coinnle and the bored face of the Lord. Radanta was still there, curling her bloody whip. But I couldn't find Alfred. I looked at the hand that was holding me, my feet still to wobbly to support myself, and traced it to wherever the person who was holding me was.

Alfred was there, his eyes sad and his lips thinned. Was he the one who would kill me? "Alfred, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Please forgive me." I tried to hold on to him, to get closer to him in a hug, but the way he held me was too awkward. He was behind me, and I had to look up in order to look at his face. So I pressed my body against him so as to imitate a hug, a show of affection. I ignored the mind numbing pain that once again emanated from my back as I pressed it against him, trying to snuggle against him with my head.

"Eithne, calm down. It's alright, I forgive you. It's fine." Alfred whispered, cupping his hand under my chin and stroking it. I never felt such relief in my life over anything, the sensation of being forgiven running through me like a tsunami of bliss. I would've fell down on the floor in relaxation if it weren't for Alfred still holding me up.

He turned to the Lord and began to speak. "One hundred lashes, a five hundred gold fine. She will die you threw her in the dungeon, my Lord. Please, reconsider."

"Rejected. "

"Papa, as a favor I would ask that you'd not throw her into the dungeon."

Everyone's eyes, even Radanta's, moved towards Coinnle as she walked forward and closer to her father. She didn't move far, just a couple of steps.

"That's a bribery, I have sworn not to let personal matters get in the way of my legal judgements."

"It's a request, and a show of my sincerity. Look at the girl, papa, she's a miserable wreck. She may have done something unforgivable, but to indirectly kill her through torture and solitude rather than through cutting off her head is an immoral act. It's not fair, if you had wanted her to have a chance to live then the whip was enough of a show. To put her through another trial is a terrible show of cruelty."

The Lord didn't answer immediately, instead looking at Coinnle as he began to think. He looked to have made a decision, and I guess it would decide my life or death.

"You're right. Alfred, heal the girl of the wounds you had inflicted on her, but leave the lashes on her. Coinnle, since you have been the one to make the suggestion, you're in charge of taking care of the girl. And, I'll remember the favor you promised."

Coinnle nodded, a bit of a shake appearing in her hands. Or was there? Honestly, I was barely paying attention now. The pain on my hands began to rapidly disappear, and my face started to not feel so swollen. Then my world became dark.