"Envy comes from insecurity; pride comes from arrogance... where exactly is the point in-between?" -Shizuka Aizawa

----------------------------------------

I was so excited to show Rukito my spiritual singularity; I’ve been studying and practicing this power so much that I have been able to get a good grip of it, but after I heard that he and Kasai got together as a couple I lost every single drop of joy I had in me. ‘Rose Sorceress’ is what I came up with as a name, the singularity allows me to write my own spells and infuse them with my soul so I can use them whenever I want if I recite the name of the spells.

There is still much I have to learn, I know that I’m not the only person with a singularity like this, most people that do don’t understand how to use it, so I plan on to opening an academy in the future to teach them how to use this singularity. The only way I found information on how to use my spiritual singularity was in my parent’s library; sometimes I wonder how they can hold so much unknown information from others.

I was in my hotel room laying on my bed thinking on how much I despise Kasai. Everything was going well until she arrived, and now she has him… WHY HER?! I LOVE HIM WAY MORE! Tsk, that bitch is going to pay, I swear. While I was in bed, I heard a knocking on my door.

“Leave!” I said. I expected it to be the room service, but then I heard his voice.

“Shizuka? Hey, I want to talk to you about something.” I hesitated to let him because I thought that he was with Kasai.

“Are you alone?” I asked him.

“Yes, Kasai stayed back at the church.”

“Alright…” I opened the door and let him in. I didn’t make eye contact with him since I was still incredibly pissed off, but I tried to be as calm as possible.

“Shizuka, I need to have a serious conversation with you, no hard feelings.”

“What is it?” I asked as I went back to my bed lying down facing the ceiling. He sat at the end of the bed and looked at me.

“I heard something from the priest that I think you don’t know.”

“Which is?”

“You… you’re an angel.” I sat up and looked at him with a dumbfounded look.

“HUH?! Excuse me?!”

“Yes, he said that he felt an angel soul in you, he didn’t tell you because he thought you already knew.”

“Me? An angel?!” Now it makes sense! Everything my mom kept away from me was so I didn’t find out the truth about my origins!

“I don’t know if I told you, but I’m also a half devil, not just Kasai.”

“This… this seems too much of a coincidence.”

“I know, and this is why I wanted to talk to you. I think our parents planned everything that has happened… Kasai and I meeting each other… you and I meeting, and who knows, maybe even this trip.”

“Yes… you’re right, I didn’t expect her to let us go that easily, but if they had a plan in mind, then this trip is definitely part of it.” I said.

“We need to talk to them as soon as we get home, texting would probably alert them, talking in person will be a lot better.”

“Yes, that’s true.” Maybe Rukito was right… I spent way too much time reading books, so much that we barely have any time to talk, but it sure feels nice being alone with him again… his eyes, and his smile just draws me closer to him… but her… that girl ruined everything!

“So now that we are no longer humans, how are we different?”

“Well I won’t die by aging; my aging will probably stop around my 20s.”

“Oh really? How about Kasai and me?”

“Devils also don’t die by aging, but since you’re half, I don’t know. Probably not since devil cells are stronger than humans.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Well, we can still die if someone kills us, so we better be careful with black tombstone.” He said.

“Right.” Why… why did he choose her? “Hey, Ruki…”

“You too now? Stop calling me that!” I giggled.

“I will if you tell me something.”

“Tell you what?”

“Why did you choose that… Kasai.”

“Why? Because I love her.”

“Y-… you don’t… love me?” My heart felt like it was about to break into a million pieces.

“I… I love you more as a sister rather than a partner, Shizuka… maybe when we first met, it could have been different, but instead of spending time with me you decided to stay in your room and read books.”

“Oh…” No, no, NO! I can’t accept this! Why did I have to be so dumb?!

“Sometimes I even invited you to go out somewhere, but you decided to stay inside instead. You were too late to fall in love with me.” Why? Why did it take me so long to realize it?! Why can’t he gaze into my eyes like he does with Kasai?! Dammit!

“Are you crying?” I noticed that tears were running down my cheeks. I subconsciously activated a spell, and the room started to get windy. I HATE HER!... I HATE HER!... I HATE HER!... I HATE HER!

“Shizuka! Calm down please.” But I was enveloped in rage and envy. Shelves started to get knocked down, mirrors, dressers, and frames. He got close to me as I was losing control of myself and then… he hugged me. “Just because you’re not my girlfriend, doesn’t mean I won’t look out for you and hate you. I will still be at your side if you need help, I will still comfort you if you feel down, I will still hang out with you if I have the time.” That was the warmest hug I’ve ever gotten so far; my heart skipped a beat, and the spell started to die down.

“Ruki…” I felt tears running down even more.

“And please don’t hate Kasai, it’s not her fault that I fell in love with her. That girl has gone through enough in her early life; it’s time for her to see the positive side of living…” But no matter how much he told me about her, I still hated her… I couldn’t take off the hate out of my head.

“I’ll try…” He let go of me… I wish I could hug him forever… I wish… time stopped.

“Thank you. We found some elves that are willing to help us find the cure for Kasai; have you heard anything about the king?”

“Yes… actually, he will be leaving sooner than he planned to, he said he wants to have a last meeting with the cloud elf king, then he will be making his way back to Greenterra.”

“Ok, good. What happened to that cloud elf you were with?”

“Oh, I ditched him as soon as I got here, after that, I went around to look for the king. I got no tolerance for cocky kids like him.”

“Well damn.”

“What? He was very annoying.”

“Anyways, do you want to come with us?”

“I wish I could, but now that I know that I’m an angel I have to look deep into this matter.”

“Could you also look into half devils or devils in general if you could please? Kasai and I will probably just be two or three days out, once we get back, you should be able to tell us most of the things.”

“Of course.” Anything for you…

“Thank you, Shizuka. I owe you a lot.”

“Nah, don’t mention it.” Then be with me…

“I’m going to go, people are waiting for me.” Don’t go…

“Alright, be careful! And take your time.” Come back to me as fast as possible…

“Ok, it’s just for two days anyway.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I’ll miss you to death… he got close to me again and hugged me before he went off. Another warm hug…

“I’ll miss you; please be safe my little cherry blossom.” Even though I’m older than him… even though I know more than him, even though I may seem smarter than him… I always feel inferior when I’m with him in every sense, I always feel like I’m a little kid compared to him, I always feel… an extreme amount of love and admiration.

He’s been helping people since this all started, he helped me realize what’s important in life, he helped Sachi get used to her surroundings, he helped Kasai settle in and fix her issues that she initially seem to have, and now he’s going to cure her curse. He helped the people in Greenterra by coming here and warning the king… has ever thought about what he wants? I’ve gotten to read many amazing books here; I’m sure Kasai got to see many beautiful things that she probably never has seen in the orphanage, what has he given himself? What does he want? What are his hobbies he likes doing?... I’ve never figured anything of this out, how can I expect to be his girlfriend if I barely know his goals and ideals? I should have spent more time with him… how much I envy Kasai. How can a girl with everything like me envy someone with nothing? This makes no sense… but I envy her so much!

I guess while having everything a girl wishes to have, I had no goals… nothing to look forward. I’m rich, I’m beautiful, I’m smart, I’m popular, and I have and can have anything one could ask for. What now?... all I want is genuine love, and out of all those things, Kasai definitely has the only thing I don’t have… maybe Rukito is right, it’s not her fault… perhaps she had no intentions of hurting me, perhaps I can’t have everything I wish for. Money can’t buy what I mostly want… and it hurts.

“I hope you don’t hate me for what I’ve done… I’m sorry I yelled at you and got mad… I didn’t mean to.” He hugged me tighter.

“We all have feelings Shizuka, sometimes we can’t control them, I understand. I’m not going to give you the benefit of the doubt though… I think you're a bit too rude to Kasai, and she doesn’t deserve it, she actually admired you a lot and looked up to you, but now… I’m not sure.”

“Huh?” She… admired me?... and I…let her down?

“Instead of asking me for forgiveness, you should ask her.”

“W-when you will be back… I’ll be ready to ask her for forgiveness.”

“Alright! Good, good!” He got super happy, I can see that we both mean a lot to him, and that makes me smile… her really does care about us both.

“You be safe too ok?” I said.

“Mhm, no worries.” He started walking away, but then looked around and said,

“This room is a mess now…” I giggled, then said,

“Don’t worry I got it.”

“Ok, bye!”