So… what is it to be a demon lord…

…it's not as exciting as I originally thought it would be.

My father used to be one until the day he died, the way how every civilian and servant hypes up the title of "Demon Lord" tries to make it sound like it's the best thing to happen to anyone.

From what I heard, everyone in the world hates you, you become a dictator, you raise high taxes, you have women flock over you like a Playboy millionaire, and you have one of the biggest armies in the world.

But… that's not really true…

After I got inaugurated as a Demon Lord, the gods gave me guidelines on what I should do to keep the title.

Act Evil.

Do not raise taxes.

You are not allowed to have any harem, only the hero/heroine is allowed.

Under any circumstances, DO NOT KILL THE HERO/HEROINE.

You are not allowed to tell the hero/heroine that they came from another world (even though they did come from another world).

Do NOT abuse your plot armor, your plot armor will be gone when the hero/heroine arrives at the castle.

Don't make evil horny spirits and if you do, don't get them near the horses.

Just like rule 7, don't make evil horny creatures (Just don't.)

And when the hero/heroine arrives, do not avoid your fate.

Do not try and take over the world.

And if you break any of these rules, we'll find someone else to do the job (and send you to hell.)

I really wanted to break these rules (Not 2, 3, 7, and 8.), But hey, the gods give you free access to a multiversal streaming service.

As I waited for the Heroine and her party to arrive, one of my advisors came up to me to see the sight of the amount of people that's surrounding the castle, and they were looking to invade, but another advisor came in and reported that it wasn't an army, barbarians, or rebels, they were the Harem of the Heroine….

WHAT!?!

That fucking girl has a harem the size of a whole fucking nation!?!

HOW!?!

Anyways… They somehow broke into the city and some of them came into the throne room and just stood there watching me.

It was like three hours until the Heroine came.

Is she the holy one?

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Is she the one who's a shut-in?

Is she the fan service character?

Nope! She looks dumb.

Why does she look dumb, you asked?

She just looks like a preschooler in an adult body or some shit.

As I kept staring at her and her pathetic harem, I cleared my throat and gave her a speech that I've been working for days on.

"Well, Well, Well… if it isn't the Chosen One herself. I was expecting you for two whole years already and I was getting impatient. I need no introduction, but I'll tell you something. My name is Demon Lord Homura Fuego, the terror of the lands, the deepest root of all evil, the fire that purges on the innocent. So, if I were you, I'd turn around and believe if you want to live."

I know it may not sound as badass as I thought it was, but do you think that I even completed the sentence? Hell no!

Here's a recap of what actually happened.

"Well, Well, Well… if it isn't the Chosen One herself. I was expecting you for two whole years already and I was getting impatient. I need no introduction, but I'll tell you something. My name is Demon Lord Homura Fuego, the terror of the lands, the deepest root of all evil, the fire that purges on the inn-"

And then the heroine cuts me off and says

"Hi, do you want to be in my harem?

…

Did she really ask the Demon Lord out to bring him to the harem!?

Anyways, I replied to this dumbass and I said calmly...

"WHA- NO! I'M THE FUCKING DEMON LORD, YOU BRAINDEAD NINCOMPOOP!!"

She kept on asking these questions of why I chose to not join her stupid harem, and I had enough and I struck her with my big ass sword.

And your honor, in my defense, she was trespassing with malicious intent.

And this fight lasted five minutes, which in the other worlds that make anime would make the fight like 12 episodes.

I thought I had the upper hand in the end and can you guess how I got defeated?

Is it…

Plot armor.

Skill.

Power of friendship.

Both A and C.

If you chose B, you are incorrect.

It's D.

And how did this power of friendship work?

Fucking Rainbows coming out of the sword and struck my literal heart, ending my worthless life…

And that is the end of my stupid run of a demon lord.

Although, it is not the end of this entry.

I got revived in a heavenly-like realm.

I came eye to eye with this obviously attractive goddess, and she reveals that I've been sent to a different world with different gods.

Oh boy, I'm betting 500 Sineeys if this is going to be a fantasy world with elves, beastkin slaves, orcs, and a Demon Lord…

I wish I had that money back to me since my predictions were indeed correct.

She reincarnated me as myself from the previous world, but she didn't give me clothes or underwear, and she didn't make me as strong or powerful when I was a Demon Lord.

To make things worse, she put me in the coldest place in the new world.

So my original plan after I arrived on this hell hole was to caveman my way to beating this demon lord. But thank the Creator of the gods, there were bandits knocked out nearby, I stole their clothes and gear alongside a map. I made my way to a town that has seen better days.

The only functional place in the town was the mayor's Hall and the inn.

I used the money that I stole from the bandits to buy this journal

(or diary) to write my adventures and my worst days.

So… wish me luck.