Ethan woke a changed man. Dually wasn’t as present as he had been prior to Ethan’s quest. They were in his mind now completely, acting and reacting right beside Ethan; sharing life. They were one steady stream of thought. Ethan provided the dreams, AI handled the mechanics and logistics. Together they were capable of exploring... everything.
Ethan’s purpose was to make things right with Leita. This was his humanity; redemption. It’s what drove his soul. As compelling as exploration promised to be, he was not interested. His focus was entirely on Leita.
Even as an enlightened being, he shook his head at the terrible dynamic he had created with Leita. He understood it. He knew, although unjustifiable, his actions on this plane would make him and Leita stronger together; if they could get past it.
Perhaps the most defining characteristic of enlightenment is life with absolute certainty. You live forever. That’s a certainty, and a lot of other certainty's fall into place once you have this one. The duality of the enlightenment was you became much more focused on discovering yourself, and overcoming the past that held you back. There was no certainty here. Discovery was a mystery, you had to live it to know it. Without the duality of certainty and uncertainty, you would have everything, and even everything becomes boring without the potential of change.
Ethan was in a state of uncertainty when he sought Leita. He knew they shared an eternal bond and there was agreement between them. They were testing their bond by presenting as polar absolutes. That was the certainty. He knew he was the irritant, and Leita had overcome him with her love. In the days before his quest, he didn’t absorb it, but he learned from her natural kindness. It was this kindness that guided him in his reformation which began in the quest.
Upon exiting his quest, Ethan immediately made his way to Leita’s. He was anxious. More anxious than a transcended person should be. He had been away too long, and he missed the love he had with her. When he got to her place, Leita was not home. Thinking she was out on an errand, he sat down on her porch to wait. While waiting, he noticed a neighbor and decided to ask after her.
‘Leita? No, she's sick. Been in hospital for at least a month now,’ the man replied.
‘She’s sick?’
‘Yes, cancer. I was up to visit her just the other day. It won’t be long now’.
‘What do you mean? Aren’t they treating her?’
‘Just palliative care. She’s refusing treatment’.
Ethan rushed to the hospital.
‘She’s sleeping most of the time now,’ the nurse told him. ‘We have to keep her fairly sedated’.
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Ethan pulled up a chair next to Leita’s bed, and clasped her hand. She felt it, and after a few moments of struggle, opened her eyes.
Leita smiled when she recognized Ethan. ‘I knew you’d come back’.
‘Of course I came back. There’s nowhere else I could possibly be. You look beautiful’.
Leita let out a sighing attempt at a laugh. ‘Oh, I’m sure I do’.
‘More beautiful than I remember.
Leita looked at Ethan for a moment, and then her gaze turned inward. She was feeling as much confusion as joy at seeing Ethan. The painkillers she was taking were enough to confuse her, but on top of that, she had prepared herself to die. Now Ethan showed up. She didn’t know how to process this.
Ethan’s grip on her hand tightened. ‘I’m here now. We’re together’.
‘Not for long,’ Leita responded.
‘Forever’.
‘Hmm,’ Leita responded, not at all convinced
They sat together in silence for a moment. Leita fell back asleep.
When she woke again, Ethan was still there holding her hand. ‘I’m glad you came back,’ she said.
He clasped her hand a little tighter. ‘Now, you can come back too’.
Leita shook her head. ‘No Ethan. This is the way I decided on long ago, even while we were together. Follow the laws of nature. When it’s time to go, you go. Otherwise, everything that gave meaning to my life, has no meaning at all’.
‘But I want you here with me. We have our lives to spend together’.
‘That’s all I ever wanted,’ Leita replied, and they both fell silent. After a moment, she fell back asleep.
‘She doesn’t have long to go,’ a passing caregiver said to Ethan. ‘She’ll only be awake a few moments at a time from now on’.
Ethan knew all this. In his transcended state, this kind of certainty was unavoidable. AI had complete diagnostics on her. Alongside AI, Ethan had become so advanced a being, he could have healed Leita immediately. He had acquired healing energy, and he knew exactly where to place it. What held him back was the question of Leita’s freewill in all this. Healing her would be in violation of Leita’s free will.
Ethan began to question just how much free will Leita actually had. Had he not already taken that from her? Free will is the ability to make decisions independent of past events. Ultimately, the choices Leita made were in response to a single event in her life; him raping her. From that moment on, the fear, shock and pain of that moment, dictated her every response. To a great degree here future choices were made directly from the lens of a young teenage girl. As much as anything, Ethan believed it was his responsibility to help Leita find the free will he had taken from her.
For the second time in their relationship, Ethan violated Leita’s free will. He directed healing energy into her body. Not enough to heal her. He had to be respectful of her choice as much as possible, but he did heal her enough so she no longer required pain medication, and was able to stay awake for longer periods of time. If Leita was going to decide to die, she would have to do it from a place of healing potential and a perspective not clouded by painkillers.
Ethan looked at Leita’s sleeping face. The face he loved so much. A picture of innocence.