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The Demon Lord Has Already Won!
Ch9 [Yorn Investigation]

Ch9 [Yorn Investigation]

"Let's make a plan." Rex said. They had ducked into one of the taverns and were munching on the free bread the waitress set down in front of them after they were seated.

Rex rolled out a map on the table that he had purchased earlier.

"We're here," Rex said, putting his finger down on a dense cluster of boxes. "The Commerce District, a place where people do business, though it seems that people also live above the shops."

Rex then traced a path into a scrawl of grander sweeping rectangles that were spaced father apart on the page.

"Wow... mansions." Jin said.

"That's the Noble District," Rex said. "If we go to the palace, we'd eventually go through there. The mapmaker told me that these squiggly lines around them are supposed to be gardens."

Jin looked closer at the map as if it would make the lines more clear. "Then what's this last place over here?"

"The Stone Quarter. I've never read about it, never heard about it, and no one I ask seems to want to talk about it. Thoughts?"

"I'm thinking about life in the woods," Jin said. "Where we called the north woods 'north woods' and the south woods 'south woods'. So it's probably a Quarter made from Stone."

"We'll just ignore that area," Rex decided "We'll go through the noble district to the northwest, avoid the Quarter in the northeast."

"Anything to drink?" The waitress swept in.

"Not right now," said Rex, his mouth filled with the Underground grog's poor aftertaste. "By the way, do you know where I can fight the Demon Lord?"

The waitress laughed and smiled. "I'd just love to chat. But let me attend to the other customers first."

*Thump!* She put down two glasses of water and hurried off to a table full of bounty hunters. Rex glanced at the menu and his eyes watered at the prices. I thought the silvers from the rapier would be enough, but not for this place. Which appetizer looks the best?

Jin was engrossed in her own menu.

"What are your parents like?" asked Rex. "You never really talked about them with me."

"My mom is kind and clever and my dad is strong and brave." Jin said. "Whenever I was with them, I didn't have to worry about who I was or what I did. Unless I did something bad."

"So we just need to find someone that's kind and clever or strong and brave." Rex said, writing these things down on one of the napkins. "So we'll ask... for people... who are... like that?"

Isn't this description totally useless!? Rex thought.

"This waitress is kind, though not as much as my mom. She put us in a table that's nice and cozy, in the back where it's hard to see anyone." Jin said.

"Yes, she did do that." Rex said. "In this dark table away from the windows, a table that kind of bounces if you move to much." One of the table legs was shorter than the other three.

They waited for the waitress to return; Rex scratched his hands and arms.

Then they finished all the breadin the basket. Then Jin devoured the leftover butter slabs. Then...

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

"I don't think ice cubes are meant to be eaten, Jin."

"It's a good mental exercise. To bear the cold."

Rex's chair groaned as he stood. "Let's start our search; it's getting dark. If we stay here and eat the light will be gone and most people will be at home."

Jin finished drinking her water and nodded. "Then let's finish exploring."

The waitress, twenty minutes later: "They just ate the free bread and left..."

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It was harder for Rex to ask questions then he expected.

Most cities in any world have one supreme law: mind your own business if someone calls out to you on the street, doubly so if their clothing is suspicious or bizarre. And a boy in a noble's shirt wearing blue jeans or a girl bundled up in a cloak both weren't exactly fashionable. So whenever Rex flagged someone down, they ended up walking even faster.

I'll just talk to someone whose stuck in one place, thought Rex.

He approached one of the food vendors that he had seen before. "Excuse me sir, do you know who I can talk to if I need to fight the Demon Lord?"

"WHAT?" The food vendor yelled over the knife-cuts and the sizzling meat. "COULD YA REPEAT WHAT YOU SAID?"

"WHERE CAN I FIND. THE DEMON LORD."

"I don't really get it," said the food vendor. "But we don't sell that here. Try somewhere else."

Twelve questions and six half-answers later they were near the Noble District. Ornate mansions rose from behind a brick barrier, this one well maintained with ivy climbing up the walls. Underneath an archway was a knight, this time a stout man in all blue.

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Rex sighed and approached.

"I'd like to kill the Demon Lord," said Rex, and the knight blinked. "So please let me through, or tell me where to go."

"Sure kid," said the knight. "let's get you to bed."

"No, I'd like to kill the Demon Lord," Rex repeated, and the knight lifted his visor and gave Rex a look. The knight did not spare a glance for Jin, who had become expert at melting into Rex's shadow.

"As a member of the royal guard," the knight said. "I'm afraid to say that I'm obliged not let you into Noble Quarter or the Palace. Especially with a reason like that."

"Then tell me where I can find him."

"I'm a knight, not a tour guide." the knight said. "Scram."

"But I'm the chosen!" said Rex.

"Chosen, huh." the knight said. "That supposed to mean something? You think that's a codeword or password?" He took off his helmet entirely and blonde hair toppled downwards. The knight's face was creased and he pressed a hand, still in its gauntlet, to his forehead.

"You must be drunk," the man decided. "Why don't I put you and your companion in an inn for the night? At my expense."

"I'll find another way to the palace," Rex said "There's still more searching to be done". And he and Jin strolled off, leaving the guard standing there in mute shock.

"Hold! Halt!" said the guard. He took two steps away from the arch but paused.

"Fuck," he swore. "When's Alan getting here?"

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With nothing better to do Rex and Jinq walked eastward along the border-wall. After some time, the wall gave way instead to a tall fence with iron bars, and through those bars there were more humble homes. THE STONE QUARTER, a sign said, and Rex grasped a gate, thin metal digging into his palm and shook it hard. The gate was bolted, but Rex shook it again and again, and it rattled but did not give way.

"Is it my phrasing?" muttered Rex. "Should I be telling people that I want to 'slay the Devil King?' 'Vanquish the great evil?' Should I say that I'm the 'chosen one' or 'the protagonist' Do people just not understand anything about isekai?

Jin's nose twitched and she inhaled sharply.

"Bless you," Rex said, but her small body continued to be wracked with cat-like spasms, half sniffing, half breathing.

"You're laughing," said Rex. "All this walking and you're laughing! How can you laugh at me when you haven't made any progress with your search either?"

Jin stopped.

"You tagged along with me but have asked zero people about your 'parents'," said Rex. "Wasn't that the point of you traveling to Yorn? Haven't you waited for fucking two years?"

"I'll know them when I see them. That's all there is to it."

"I know we've been together just two days." Rex said. "But we killed a wolfkin, and surviving that should be more than enough to make us friends. So you don't need to keep secrets from! Are the people you're searching for really your Mom and Dad?"

"They are!" Jin said. "I know what they look like, and I know their names - it's just... please... it's because you know me that I don't want to talk about it."

"If we're friends then stop sulking in your hood and look me in the eyes!" They were golden, Rex noticed, as she peered up at him. But she still didn't take off her cloak.

"I'll get us into the Palace," Jin said.

"Huh?"

"We are friends," said Jin. "I'll get us into this 'Stone Quarter' and from there we can go to the Palace. You'd like that, right?" She gazed through the fence at the houses and overgrown paths.

"I would, but you're dodging the q-"

Jin leaped up twice her height, slamming into the fence, scrambling with her hands to find leverage, but even as her hands grasped the bars they slid through her fingers.

"Let me try that again," Jin said.

"Take all the time you need." Rex said. But a familiar blonde-haired man appeared on the same side of the fence as they were, sword drawn.

"Stop in the name of the true king, so-called 'chosen one'."

"Just kidding," said Rex. "It's that dude from the noble gate. You have maybe a minute."

"One more try should be enough," Jin said, as the knight shoved his way past someone packing up his apple stall. "Rex..."

"What?"

She pushed him forward, clambering onto his back, and then her feet pressed into him as she used him as her launchpad. She cleared the fence, rolled in mid air and landed on all fours onto grass, scrambling upwards and unlatching the gate.

Rex sprinted through, slammed the fence shut and drew the bolt. The knight rammed into the fence, red lines left on his face.

"Fuck! Halt!" the knight said. "You don't understand what's happening here - let me through!"

But already only the echo of Jin and Rex's foostep's on the overgrown path remained.

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"My shift at Yorn's south gate is almost over," said Rick, the guard with the red bulbous nose. "Maybe I can leave early and go to the tavern in time for poker."

While merchant carts streamed through the other gates, this one faced the forest, which had no trade routes unless you counted the paths bandits had hacked through the weeds. Nothing good ever came from the woods.

"What's the time Julius? Sun's practically gone!" Rick called up to the ramparts.

"Don't worry about it! Let the stragglers through, then we go home. I'll raise the portcullis to save you time."

"Stragglers?" Rick squinted at the horizon and sighed. A girl was marching up the dirt road, and as she got closer he could even hear her hum.

"Hi," she said. "Did a plain, wimpy, boy pass through here into Yorn?"

"I don't care about who passes through here," Rick said. "All I care about is why you want to stroll through."

"Then the reason I'm here," said Enna, drawing herself to full height. "Is that I'm looking for a boy. Who is plain and wimpy. "

"Great," Rick said. "That's not a real reason. Go back into the woods."

"H-huh?" Enna wrung her hands.

"We don't just let anyone through these gates," Rick said. "And, since you're the second crazy person to go into town today, I don't have any money left to gamble on when we'll find your body if I do let you through."

"E-excuse me?" Enna said.

"I'll never understand why people like you don't just lie and say something like, 'I'm selling apples." Rick said. "But you missed your chance, so buzz off."

"But the gates's open! Why can't I just walk in?" Enna said.

"Because I'll stop you," Rick replied, "the end. Goodboye."

"You can stop me. Enna said, opening her hand. "But can you stop this?" She pushed her palm into the man's chest and fifty thousand volts ran through him. He convulsed inside his armor, and then he slumped, eyes shut and breathing slow.

He definitely was going to miss his poker game now.

'Can you stop this!' Enna thought. I'm so clever!!!!

She dragged Rick's body into the bushes. Or rather, she imagined herself dragging Rick's body into the bushes, because when she grabbed onto his ankles and pulled he didn't budge.

Enna sighed, and she stripped him of his iron armor piece by piece, throwing the helmet, chestplate, and boots into the bush. She hesitated at the breeches, and grabbed him again, this time by the wrists.

"Heavy."

She gazed up at the sky as she pulled the pants off. Finally she lugged the body inch by inch into the shrubbery, leaving behind a Rick-sized imprint in the muddy road.

"Mathilda was right!" Enna brushed herself off. "It's amazing what I can accomplish what I'm not so impulsive."

*DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING*

A bell rang from a guard tower in the ramparts.

"Man down at the south gate!" cried Julius from above. "Man down at the south gate! Gods - what did she just do to him?"

Enna, panicked, looked for a shrub of her own.