To his left, a forest of spears. To his right, blades spiked from wooden shelves. Rex was in the armory and had a decision to make.

Rex recalled the events that had led him to this room just a few minutes ago.

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The arena was circular with a high ceiling and a sand-covered floor. And at the circle's center was Caliban, the bulky, bearded, one-eyed third member of the Underground's council.

"Time to test ya in combat lad," said Caliban "Have ya ever torn a man apart? Seen his guts?"

Rex shook his head.

"Ever seen ya own guts then?" laughed Caliban.

Rex shook his head again.

"So ya never lost a fight. A real champ, this kid is!" Caliban said. "Ought to make him a general right now!"

"Let's get to it then," said Rex. "What do you want me to do? Take off my shoes? My pants??"

"I don't blame ya for being wary. The Underground's a right mess. Gemini's a freak and Mathilda's a coward." Caliban. "But ya don't need to worry about me. A combat test is a combat test that's all."

"That's good. Then I'll pick one of these weapons here," said Rex as he glanced at the wooden swords that were leaning on the walls. Then he felt himself being lifted as Caliban grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.

"Ya aren't gonna fight me with those flimsy fakes." said Caliban. "The nice thing about having a white mage on call is that any fresh wound that don't kill ya, she'll heal."

Caliban put him down in front of armory door.

"All kinds of weapons in there. Get yerself something made of metal and come right back here."

"What will you use? said Rex.

"I've got my broadsword but I'll just be using my fists." he replied. "Though ya might wish I was using a sword - stab wound might feel less painful then being beaten to a bloody pulp.

Rex felt himself being pushed into the room, and now here he was, surrounded by all tools men used to wage war.

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"Now which weapon would a 'chosen one' fight' with?" asked Rex.

He closed his eyes. He ran his hands across cold iron, sleek silver, and tapped on the metal. Listened to see if a weapon was calling to him.

Surely, with so many weapons here there must be a legendary sword... or an ancient hero who was cursed and turned into a spear .. or a magical artifact that responds to me and me only. Rex thought.

He thrust out his hand, grasped a sword, and opened his eyes. Rex spoke out loud. "I have chosen you to be my noble companion. Yours will be the blade that tastes the Demon Lord's blood."

"Shit! That's heavy!" Rex made a practice swing that ended up being more like a practice flail.

"Let's try again. 1, 2, 3...." the sword clattered to the ground as it flew from Rex's fingers.

"Alright. Maybe I have a hidden talent for lances," Rex took a lance from the rack and immediately toppled over, landing ass backwards onto the cold stone floor.

Those are some well-carved medieval leaves on the ceiling. thought Rex. Maybe I'll get used to this view and become a floor tile instead of a hero.

A floor tile serves a useful purpose. It fits into a grid without complaints and enjoys being stepped on. Compare that to me, who doesn't fit in and who is just constantly getting crushed.

I think I'll ask to be a floor tile in my next life. If I can't use magic and I can't fight, then what can I do? Am I supposed to just read books here for the next twenty years?

Rex closed his eyes.

I wonder how Enna handles being stuck here without going insane. She already has fucked up views from reading books all the time. Like when I was summoned, she thought I was some kind of superman.

It would be foolish to think that I could be a superman from the start just because of some books... it's crazy for anyone to think that...

Rex opened his eyes wide.

For me to think that! Have I just been thinking that a 'chosen one' has to have certain talents from the start, just because of the light novels I read?

Rex rose to his feet. "Maybe I can't fight or cast thunderbolts. But my power to defeat the demon lord doesn't have to be from combat or magic."

"Maybe that power is something is inside me already," said Rex, as a he picked out a weapon. "Though the only thing I really have is going for me is being lazy."

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"Ha ha ha!" said Caliban. "Yer more than just a 'chosen one' - yer a comedian! How are you going to get anywhere with a toothpick like that?"

Rex grimaced. He was a holding dagger that was not much longer than his hand.

"Ohh, is that face supposed to be 'grim resolve'? I like that," said Caliban. "Let's see if that determination stays on ya face after it eats this fist!"

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

He balled up his fingers, skin taut, his fists like boulders. He smiled, stepped forward and punched the place Rex had been just a split second before.

If you call out your attacks like that, of course they'll be easy to dodge. thought Rex as he caught his breath.

Caliban grinned wider, and this time his foot lashed out. But it too, caught air and now his smile disappeared.

Left fist. Right fist. Left foot. Right foot. Caliban even attacked with his head and still he could not land a blow.

"Reeeeeeex!!!" He roared.

Caliban has a tell. Rex thought. You can see his bloodlust on his face. Sometimes he tries to hide it with a smile, but his mouth twitches every time right before he strikes.

And if I know when he'll strike, it doesn't matter if it's with his hands, feet, or head, as long as I jump back out of reach I should be safe.

Caliban continued his onslaught, kicking up sand and dust as he struggled to land a blow.

"The reason ya picked the knife..." said Caliban. "Ya knew I was stronger and ya knew I was more skilled, so ye picked a weapon that'd keep yer agility rather than something ya'd be too weak to carry. "

Rex leaped again and found himself bumping against the wall.

"But I'm still callin ya a comedian rather than a warrior..."

Caliban's fist slammed into the stone and chipped the rock. Rex managed to barely slide away in time.

"...because even with a knife, you're fighting like ya got no weapon at all!"

He's right. Rex thought. I knew that I had no chance of winning in a battle of strength, or skill. And that a heavier weapon would just handicap me. But even though I can dodge I still haven't thought of how to attack!

Rex scrambled towards the center, feeling the sand slide underneath his feet as he tried to gain space. But Caliban struck and Rex was forced to the circle's edge.

Caliban's not stupid, Rex realized. He knows I dodge most of his attacks by leaping back. He's driving me towards the wall...

...and when I can't retreat backwards I'm just dodging by dumb luck!

Right as he thought that, Rex's left ear popped and all sound was replaced with pain. Rex touched his ear and his fingers came away with blood.

"This time I just grazed ya," said Caliban. "But next time I'll punch out yer teeth."

"Caliban, that's enough."

A voice floated into Rex's uninjured ear. Mathilda and Enna were both standing at the other side of the arena, at the threshold of one of of the doors.

"I said that's enough," Mathilda repeated. "You've won. Let me heal his ear with magic."

Caliban shrugged. "Alright, alright. Party's over I guess, go run to Mommy."

"We're not done yet" said Rex.

Caliban grinned.

"Like you said, you just grazed me. I'm still ready to fight."

"Hahahahaha!" Caliban guffawed. "Kid, you might be a comedian but you're sure not a coward."

He drew his broadsword. "I said I wouldn't use a blade, but yer attitude deserves that I get serious."

"That's too much!" said Enna, as Caliban advanced. "If you hurt him too much that'll injure his mind!"

"Caliban, I believe too that this may be too far, especially for his first day of training." said Mathilda. "Please end the combat."

"What ya gonna do if I don't obey?" said Caliban. "Heal me ta death? I respect ya Mathilda, I really do, ya saved my life a lotta times. But I'm gonna give the best lesson one warrior can give to another. The high, high, price of losing a battle."

"And what if you lose instead?" said Rex.

Caliban swung his sword.

Shit! It's faster than his fists!

Rex ducked and hairs fell from the top of his head. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.... there has to be something that I can do, something that I can try... think Rex! Think!

The second time Caliban swung, Rex fell onto the sand, both hands sinking as he broke his fall.

"Ya got spirit, but ya can't beat the Demon King by running away." said Caliban. "Or by making mistakes."

"It doesn't matter how I fall," said Rex. "as long as I stand back up."

Rex flung the sand he had gathered from the arena floor into Caliban's open eye.

As Caliban reeled, blinded, Rex threw his dagger. It flew, sinking, sinking, then plunging into Caliban's leg and around it a red spot began to bloom and darken. Caliban roared in a mix of laughter and pain.

"Fool! Ya just disarmed yerself," said Caliban. "I'll hurt ya! I'll really hurt ya! And now ye got no weapon to stop me."

"You can't fight forever" said Rex.

"Huhhhhh?"

"I don't even need that dagger." said Rex. "You're crippled and half-blind, and the arena is large enough that I can now escape you just by walking. With your heavy weight and the bleeding, I don't need to beat you..."

Caliban swung his sword wildly. "Take that! Take that! And that!" He kept breathing, gasping, and with every missed blow it seemed as if Caliban himself was being struck.

"...exhaustion will beat you first."

Caliban's right knee buckled and he was kneeling on the ground, panting. "...Let's call it a draw. If ya really wanted to think about the long game, this is the kind of wound I can sleep off."

Caliban shuffled towards Enna. "And what do you think you'd be doing with that, missy?"

Enna extinguished the lightning-bolt she had in her hand.

"When I trained with you several years ago," said Enna. "You gave me nightmares for months. I wasn't going to let you do that to someone else... but it looks like Rex didn't need my help."

Caliban snorted. "Yer worse than a coward Enna. Yer a lazy cheat and deserved those cuts. Mathilda, heal me."

"Perhaps this will help you remember why you should respect your healers." Mathilda said.

"Please." grunted Caliban. "Please and thank you and whatever bullshit you want me to say."

Mathilda touched Rex's ear, and Caliban's knee. Light glowed form her hands and Rex felt his ear pop and his hearing return.

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At the end of the day, Rex was in the council room again, with Gemini, Mathilda, and Caliban each in their humble thrones.

"We called you here to talk about your future in the Underground," said Mathilda. "We've discussed everything that you've went through today and now we want to talk to you about our conclusion."

"Combat-wise, yer extremely lucky," said Caliban. "Ya have some good instincts but yer not gonna fight the Demon Lord in a place filled with sand. And ya can't expect to keep winning battles if ya can't even lift a sword."

"Even if Caliban isn't amused, I for one am impressed Rex." said Gemini. "A little by the combat test - I heard that you fought cleverly, which Caliban hates."

"-it ain't clever, it's lucky-"

"-but I'm most impressed you got us all to unanimously agree on something and that's not easy. Here's our plan for your future."

"Enna can tutor you about magic systems and we can abandon magic training," Mathilda said. "Caliban will continue to train you in fighting... if he promises not to injure you."

Caliban touched his knee, narrowed his eyes and nodded.

"That sounds great," said Rex. "If I want to be a hero, it makes sense that I have at least some training."

"Glad you're happy about it," said Gemini. "You'll stay in the Underground the next 18 months for training."

"Eighteen months," Rex mouthed the number. "Eighteen months? You can't be serious! Will I at least get to go on some quests?"

"Nope," said Gemini. "That'd be a security issue."

"Security for what? I'm trying to kill the Demon Lord, but what are the hundred other people in this stupid bunker here for? How could me breathing some fresh air be a fucking security issue?"

"Maybe we should tell him," said Mathilda. "Assume the best in him."

"Trust but verify." said Gemini. "That's how I got to be 800 years old. If he's still here in eighteen months than we know he's one of us."

Rex walked back to his room seething, but before he went to his bedroom he took one last detour. By the staircase....