GAME OVER
"Guess I suck," said Rex, setting the handheld aside. "I like reading light novels more than playing games anyway. At least I know I can beat the bosses if I just keep turning the pages."
"It's because your party was garbage," Derek said. "Four dwarves was obviously the most optimal build. 'Game over' is what happens when you try to beat the Demon Lord with the friggen' fantasy United Nations."
"Derek, you're in denial. You have to admit that it's a crime to not have a catgirl in the party." Rex took the handheld again and brought up Derek's profile. "Seriously dude, your avatar is a girl with animal ears and a maid outfit. How can you not have one?"
"You had an orc in your party and you can't tell me that you think that orcs are cute."
"It's important to be inclusive!" said Rex, as Rex returned the game and Derek hit restart. "I don't know, I just like the idea of exploring a world, learning about its people, going on adventure. Not treating it like an endless grind."
Derek continued to play.
"Hold it, Derek." Rex leaned over his shoulder again, watching the screen. "Doesn't that exclamation point mean you can recruit that girl?"
"Yes." said Derek as his character walked away.
"No," said Rex, aghast. "You can't just ignore her and recruit your eight dwarf this ru.. give that game back! Give me the vita! Give it-it-it-it-it..." Derek turned away and held the console just out of reach.
"Gaming is a service and this service is denied."
"Man up and give it to me and I'll show you what a real party looks like!!!"
Rex and Derek grappled for the game, but it was another student, a girl, who snatched the console away.
"I don't really understand what's being talked about," said Erika, "But your 'party time' is over. Did you forget that this is called study hall?"
Rex, caught up in the fantasy world, had in fact forgotten that he was in sixth period of classroom 3 in Rockefeller School. But Rex wasn't about to admit that to some smug-faced class rep.
"Derek is studying," said Rex. "Do you know how talented he is?"
"I have a gaming scholarship to Twin Forks Community College," Derek said. "This is practice for my career."
"Yeah class rep," said Rex. "Don't you want Derek to do well at his job?"
"Okay," said Erika sweetly. "How about you Rex? Are you also going to college on a gaming scholarship?
"...No." said Rex.
"Or any college at all?" Erika said.
"I'll figure it out," said Rex. "I always do."
"Maybe," Erika said. "But you're running out of time."
And then the bell rang, and study hall was over.
----------------------------------------
Four years ago, Rex had moved to the Rockefeller School, the kind of private high that took two exams, an essay, and an art project to get admitted to. It didn't have any classes he was passionate about, but it was a good high school, so Rex thought that he might as well go. They had even offered him food and board! So he had moved away from home and stayed in a dorm, happy to have a place to himself.
But life was moving fast. Now he was midway through his fourth year and he had no glimpses of the future. His vision of the fantasy world had always been far stronger.
He was lying on his bed right now, book flung aside, staring at the ceiling. He brought up his phone and scrolled...
Best Rated Colleges
1. Princeton
2. MIT
3. Harvard
and scrolled...
105. SUNY College of Environmental Science and Forestry
106. University of Arizona
107. University of Denver
and scrolled...
338. University of the Cumberlands
339. Twin Forks Community College
340. University of Wisconsin Oshkosh
then flung the phone aside too. It landed with a soft thump on top of the book.
“I can’t decide how I’ll be bored the next four years... then the next forty years of my life. How can you ask a high school student that?” Rex mumbled.
Then his phone lit up and began to buzz.
[UNKNOWN NUMBER]
Duuu... duuu...
Rex sighed.
"Who is this?"
"It's me." said Erika. "I looked up your number in the student directory."
"That's a little stalkerish" said Rex in a hushed tone. "Are you actually a yandere?"
"Did you just call me a deer? Is this some kind of slang? I wanted to call you but you're just making it so hard to take this seriously!"
"Oh," said Rex. "Maybe you're tsundere then. But the jury's still out."
"Geez! I don't care if you call me a deer! I just want to say sorry for what I said in study hall today. It's okay to not have gotten into any college yet. I've been anxious because I haven't gotten into my target or reach schools and I took that anger out on you."
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Rex let the words wash over him. Target School? Reach School? Was Erika also actually into gaming?
"Don't worry about it. To be honest I might have mistreated you in the past as well," said Rex. "It's your job to keep order in the classroom. I'm confident a student like you will get into any First Person Shooter or Halo schools that you want to."
"Halo or..." Erika paused. "Thanks for the positivity Rex. I appreciate it."
"I've been stressed too," said Rex. "I thought that as high school came to a close I'd discover some meaning in what I was doing, a passion that I'd like to pursue. But I feel like I don't fit in with this world."
"As a classmate, I can say that you belong here," said Erika. "Even if you don't feel like it yet, there's a whole part of life that you haven't experienced - work, marriage, adulthood..."
The phone line went silent.
"Rex?"
"Yes?"
"What's your favorite food?"
"Chocolate Crowns," Rex said. "Sometimes at night I'll walk to the convenience store and take some from that bin that they have that's full of ice cream. Two dollars a pop."
"For me, what helps me feel like part of this world is to eat my favorite food and savor the taste." said Erika. "The sweet or the salt, it helps me remember that at any time I can choose to enjoy my life, at least for my senses anyway."
Pause.
"Check your venmo," said Erika.
----------------------------------------
apology fee ($2.00 sent)
from Erika G.
----------------------------------------
"....are you sure you're not a stalker?"
"REX ISN'T A COMMON NAME, OKAY!" said Erika. "Live in the moment and go buy yourself a chocolate crown. I promise that you'll feel better."
"Thanks Erika. I'll buy a chocolate crown, but I'll send the money back. Your advice makes us even." said Rex as he hung up the phone.
Rex walked the long walk to Rick's Convenience. He crossed the road, entered the store, greeted the cashier ("Hi! Please come again.") bought the ice-cream and strode back through the automatic doors into a breeze of warm evening air. He unwrapped the snack and beheld it in all its glory.
Three connected chocolate triangles, filled with vanilla ice cream. 'An ice cream fit for a king.'
Rex took a bite of the Crown and cold, sugary, cream filled his mind in sweet flashes. But between each bite he was left alone again with his thoughts.
Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment. Rex thought. He focused now on the flickering sign, RICK’S CONVENIENCE. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment, don't worry about college. Don't worry about work. Eat the ice cream. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment. Feel the sweetness. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment.
Serenity. Calm. Imagine the sense of sharpening pencils, of rattling freshly-printed papers so that they're all straight together. Doing homework listening to lo-fi beats, eating potato chips, sweets, and chewing fruit burst gum. Reading light novels, writing a college app, being paid fifteen dollars an hour part-time bagging groceries. The plastic bags crackling and the customers smiling asking 'how are you?' as your hands tie the three hundredth bag that day. Peace. Mindfulness.
Think about the future. A cubicle, somewhere, and meetings, and free, delicious, coffee. Bitter instead of sweet, but still oh so relaxing. Maybe working on dreams in the nighttime, maybe Rex will write a light novel or he will simply read them. Who knows? Though Rex has no clue how, maybe Rex will meet someone that shares his interests and make mini-Rexes in the future, though they of course will need to be supported with their own education. But in Rex's own visions he can't picture himself anything but alone.
Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment, the chocolate crown is so sweet. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the mo
Then he threw the ice cream, half-finished onto the pavement. “IS ICE CREAM SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE?” said Rex. “LIKE HELL I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS!
HOW IS AN OFFICE AN ADVENTURE? HOW IS HOMEWORK A QUEST? WHERE CAN I FIGHT SLIMES???”
FUCK THIS! I WANT TO FUCK A CATGIRL! FUCK THE WORL….” Rex flipped a middle fingers up at the sky.
Then cashier opened the door and peered out at him.
“OOoorrlllld….” Rex started coughing.
“Don’t mind me,” said the cashier. “I’m just closing up shop.”
“Um… I was just catching a breath of fresh air. You uh, want some ice cream?” said Rex, before he remembered that the aforementioned ice cream was currently splattered onto the ground.
“No thanks.” the cashier pointed to her nametag.
----------------------------------------
HI, MY NAME IS
KATE
----------------------------------------
“Did you know my friends call me Kat for short…?” said the cashier, tapping her foot.
The only lights were the store sign, the traffic signal, and headlights from the occasional car that would drive past. Otherwise it was pitch black.
“Ah, my boyfriend will be here soon." said the cashier again. Rex was still in a state of shock.
Did she hear what I said before?
Rex glanced at her and her eyes darted in every possible way except to meet his.
She definitely heard! If this lady spreads around that I like catgirls that much, the people will think I'm some kind of weirdo!"
“You know what, I might have mumbled some weird things,” said Rex. “Why I don’t I give you this… “ Rex fumbled for his wallet in his pocket and pulled out some receipts and papers, coins, before reaching out his hand towards hers, brushing against it.
“…loyalty reward card for Retro Arcade. Eight stamps.”
“STOP!” Kat whipped out a can of pepper spray from her purse. “CREEP! You said you wanted to fuck me!”
“...Huh?” said Rex.
"I know people like you. I've watched the documentaries, I've listened to the podcasts! They always look so innocent... like normal teenage boys. But beneath their pale, bland, unmemorable faces... DARKNESS!!" cried Kat, as her finger moved towards the trigger.
"Wait This is a misunderstanding! I just said I wanted to have sex with girls that were cats!”
“GET THE FUCK AWAY ME!” said the Kat (who, though she was twenty-two years old, still considered herself a girl).
As she waved the can, Rex backed onto the crosswalk, one step, two steps, three steps, and then...
...in that moment, a truck blazed behind him, hitting absolutely no one and definitely NOT sending Rex to another world in any sense of the phrase.
That was close, thought Rex. I almost died.
But Rex soon had a sinking feeling that would not leave him. For when he looked down, his feet were plunging slowly into the asphalt as if it were some viscous liquid.
"What...? What is this? A sinkhole?" said Rex as his feet, ankles, and legs were absorbed into the cold granite stew. The more he struggled, the more he plummeted.
If it's like quicksand, I just need to float. Rex thought, and he stood perfectly still. This of course did not stop the sinking either.
"Don't just stand there!" said Rex. "Help me!"
"I- I'm calling the police!" said Kat and she ran back into the store.
"Dammit!" shouted Rex. "At least call the fire department! They'd be better equipped!!
"Life can't just be a bunch of tests until I die! Come on! Get me out! Get me-" the asphalt forced his mouth closed and for a brief moment just his eyes were still floating above the sinkhole.
At least now, thought Rex as the oozing asphalt closed over his head, I really feel like I’m living in the moment.
Even if it is by dying.