Inside a regular-looking room, there sits a powerful entity known as the neckbeard. Sitting in its natural habitat, its parent's basement, playing call of booty, the biggest first-person shooter.
"Ooooh, get dominated, kid!" the neckbeard yells at his screen.
"Bzbzzzbz" vibrates from his headphones.
"heh, say that right after I fuck your mom dickweed.
"bzzbzzzzzzbbbbbzzztz!"
"You think you can beat me in a quick scope 1v1? Bro, I'll take that challenge fool, but I'll give pity on you and give you a handicap. I will only do 360 NoScopes on you, and I'll still shit on your face every time, all the time."BBZZZYUZZZzzz"
It sits there yelling at a screen almost smugly like he's enjoying the drama. Like it craves and thrives on the toxic fumes of cancer aids in chat boxes.
A woman screeching voice, " Shut the fuck up, Martin, or I'm going to kick you out."
Martin yells, "Shut the fuck up, mom.
"btzztz""No, that wasn't my mom dumbass it was a banshee cry idiot".
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Martin's mom screeches, "Did you say I sound like a banshee?! Get out of my house!"
Sadly walking threw the rain, Martin pushes a grocery cart holding dirty blankets and old pizza while complaining about life.
"This sucks I want taco bell, I want some weed, I want a warm bed to sleep in, with cookies and milk. It's unfair. Hey, what's that shiny light in the sky" martin wines.
The shiny light moves like a spacecraft. Landing by a little hill partway into a forest by his town. Martin walks threw the bushes and find an alien spacecraft. He sees four little green aliens walk out of the ship.
One of the little green aliens says, "ok, remember, just get a quick DNA sample, and that's it."
Wandering through the bushes, the aliens hear their ship turn on.
" Andy did you forget to lock the door again..." an alien says disappointedly.
Andy the alien says moronicly "uhhh maybe".
"God damn it, Andy". Another little alien says.
"Shut up and stop them. I don't want to be stuck in this shitty dimension forever!"
They all run to the ship, but it zips off into a wormhole..... a long silence as they look into the air.
"Nice going, Andy..."
Inside the ship, the fat neckbeard starts playing around with all the holographic buttons like he's a baby pretending to use a computer, making laser noises.
Shifting threw time, space, and realities, he eventually ended up hitting a nice boulder on an Earth-like planet. Rolling down a giant mountain, the multidimensional, spacetime ET vehicle eventually ended up hitting a tree and coming to a complete stop.
The door sadly opens as Martin slightly struggles to get out after a few sadly long extra seconds, he steps outside. He turns around and gives the spaceship one good look,
"Shit, how am I going to pay for this I can't even afford food!"
Chapter 3: Ninjetress...