[WP] Where were you the day the zombie apocalypse began?

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Rob's DashCam Record:

Day 6 since Portal Crossing

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Strange Old Man: "Why, I was here with my family. We've always been good an' faithful folk, as they say: In the shadow of the Holy wall, only the bravest of the Light might prosper. Threat of Ghouls can't come between us and the gods."

Rob: "Right... Uh, yeah. Well, it's a big-ass wall, that's for sure. Starting to suspect there might be a big-ass hole in it somewhere too-

Strange Old Man: "Impossible! So long as there are believers in the light, that wall can never crumble."

Rob: "Yeah... uh, well sure, but I could have sworn we drove right on past-

Strange Old Man: "And by the fires of the sun, and the cold embrace of the moon: The Gods did banish those wicked beasts of Darkness from the land! The Faith is strong-"

Rob: "Right, right, riiiight: Listen, I was hoping to get a bit of directions if you don't mind. Seeing how you're still alive and not trying to eat our faces unlike most of the country-side. We're trying to get to the Capital, there is a man there we need to meet. It's our Quest."

Strange old man: "Ah, a Quest! Certainly! Certainly, anything for brave defenders of the faith. I must say, rare as you are, Mages such as yourselves are legendary about these parts."

Rob: "Mages? Us?"

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Strange old man: "Yes. Recently, not four seasons past a Battlemage from the SouthWestern Territories once eradicated a whole town of Ghouls. Brought fame across the territories, people here still talk about it. The sound of cracking thunder and fire, a grit of steel. He had a tame demon much like yourselves, though his other companion was a brave Elf- not a cowardly man."

Rob: "HA! Hear that Joe? Might as well call this guy Kelso! There is some aloe in the back of the-"

Joe: Sound of a window rolling up can be heard.

Rob: Ha... Ah... Well... That's a Jeep, not a demon. It's just a car."

Strange old man: "Ageap Jus'akar? A strange name, for such a powerful beast. Were it not purring with contented nature I might find concern, but any beast that fights so viciously against the Dark Lord's own monsters stands firmly in the light. It is written, it is known."

Rob: "Yeah, it's known alright... Did you say "Elf" a second ago? There are Elves?"

Strange old man: "Oh yes. There are Elves, rare as they tend to be in recent times. They say the Great Battlemage stole this one from the Dark Lord himself. A Dark Elf no less. Rumor has it that man is the Queen's own champion now, may the light bless her Majesty. A Captain of the Royal Guard, that mage slayed a fearsome creature of the West with his powerful magics.

Rob: "Holy shit- Joe! Did you hear that? Elves! Magics!"

Joe: "..."

Rob: "Sorry, we're still a bit new to the region. Lot to take in- but I think we're talking about the same place. That Capital, which way do we need to travel to get there?"

Strange old man: "Ah... well, it might be a long an perilous journey..."

Rob: "Hooohohoho... oh boy. Go on."

Strange old man: "And in the past few weeks, so many Ghouls have come forth from the blackened hate and magics of the Dark Lord, that even the Goblins have been active. Hunting and besetting people aside the roads..."

Rob: "Oh my god... This is the perfect cliche. This is it."

Strange old man: But if you travel towards the northern highway, along the river- always to your East, and never west, you should arrive at the Great Holy City. There in, behind walls of faith and magic, will be the capital of Doterra..."

Rob: Hooooooo- this is so cool.

Strange old man: "There, you should find what it is that you seek."

Rob: "Oh. My. God. You nailed the ending there. Thank you. Thank you so much Old man- you have no idea. Joe! Joe, did you hear that?"

Muffled voice: What the fuck Rob? What is it now?

Rob: "ADVENTURE JOE! IT'S A GOD-DAMN ADVENTURE!"