There's an evil wizard. A dark knight. An elf with a shovel. There's a dude with a car. And there is a lot of just complete and total chaos. ... As an explanation for those mildly interested or mildly confused: this is a story that was crafted from the beloved-madness that is r/writingprompts. From one prompt, to the next prompt, to the next, with no other way to progress except taking a new prompt and using it. Far as stories go, this one was spawned by a mix of blind-clicks, and dice-rolls, more than any true selection process. Fantasy driven, it was written mostly in my spare hours between work-projects and on lunch breaks (whenever I was lucky enough to get those) by clicking on reddit writingprompts that I could find within those windows of time. Title is notable cliche, and I'm far more than just open to alternative suggestions. This story is complete and will by copied and pasted in with minimal to no clean-up. It will not be held to much in the way of quality standards. So if you have corrections, just keep that in mind... But, on the brighter-side of things, there will be an awful lot of it. Apologies ahead of time.