Hobbies are important when picking a boat as your new loyal companion. For all new boat enthusiasts and lovers, it’s wise to pick a boat that likes to float in their spare time, their down time, and really all the time. Let the experts deal with those rowdy sinkers. After you’ve made sure you've scouted all the nice docile hunks of wood, then you can start looking at the almost limitless options. Just be mindful when opting for the stowaway adoption process. For shorter routes, this common tactic might feel good on the coin purse, but starving on a long journey isn’t advisable or recommended. Well, unless that's your kink.

Like any boat novice, I felt overwhelmed as my eyes glazed over the City of Yorle, to gaze at the vast expanse of endless blue water. As my brain failed to comprehend just how large the ocean was, I concluded that it probably ended just behind that horizon: where the sky met the sea.

My thoughts were cut short by the unfamiliar sensation of my nostrils recoiling at the smell of putrid fish. I pinched my nose and bent over to avoid gagging, or at the very least, avoid gagging on my new pair of value robes. Azog, the tour guide, patted my back with his large hands.

“Isn’t the fresh smell of ‘em fish, make your stomach rumble. I can’t wait until we get to the market and have ourselves a proper meal for the first time.”

“Yes, my stomach’s rumbling. Out of protest though.” I managed to say while trying to hold my breath, while trying not to inhale the smell of the less than lovely fish.

“This stinks.” Rose complained, as she pinched her nose as well. Unlike me, however, she made sure to keep her appearance rather proper, which was a paramount tenant of the Princesses’ Guide Handbook.

“Aye, you land folk don’t appreciate a good smell when you smell one. Yer, noses will get used to the smell fortunately. The docks should be bustlin' right now, we’ll find a nice lady to take us to the Isles.”

“Do you think any of the sailors will take us when we’ve got George with us? He looks strange with those heavy coats with hoods, and three pairs of increasingly large ear muffs. Two is probably plenty,” Rose suggested.

“Is that a risk that you want to take?”

“I feel safer with George having three pairs of earmuffs on. If someone pulls one off, George will still be safe from outside influence and the people walking around outside will be safe from George. That’s a win-win situation, in my book.”

“Aye, the lad has a point, Rose. Also don’t worry about finding a sailor, most sailors will ship anythin’ that breathes for the right amount of coin.”

“I’m not sure we have the right amount of coin,” retorted Rose, as she looked sadly at the meager silver coin, and a more plentiful five copper ones.

“We’d have a couple more copper, if you’d gone with the green coat I suggested,” I said.

“Well, I’d rather look like I have some coin with no coin, than look like I have no coin at all. That green was a vile color.” Rose harrumphed.

I shrugged.

While a month of preparation was hardly enough time, the normality of Mudville had started to fester in Rose, Azog and I, and we yearned to travel to a place that wasn’t Mudville. There was only so much day drinking, in a beatdown Inn, one could stomach before they felt unwell and even a little melancholy.

The rumors surrounding the cause of Nosturdam’s blight had spread far and wide, unlike the factual truth of what really happened. There were claims about how the heroic and valiant Guards of Nosturdam fought back against Dark Gods, all six thousand of them. And while the Guards most assuredly won the battle (was there ever any doubt they wouldn’t?), the remnants of the slain evil soaked into the ground spreading rot around the proverbial paradise.

Even the bards on the streets of Yorle sang about the valiant battle. I wanted to clog my ears, as I walked past a bard recounting the story over and over again, seemingly never getting old for the crowd.

“They could use some variety in their music,” Rose mentioned offhandedly, as we walked past the downtown area to the Northern docks.

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“They could also use some taste in storytelling.” I added, as Rose and I followed Azog.

Azog stopped.

I peaked over Azog’s large frame, to see a queue starting to form just outside the narrow dock. I grimaced, as I realized that it was more than likely that George would be stopped. If it wasn’t for the mask covering his face, three heavy coats and three ear muffs, then it was his lanky tall figure that would grab the guards attention. His legs were slightly too long to be pure human. I’d have to play him off as a skinless weir beast.

I tapped my foot impatiently as the line moved slowly. Azog didn’t seem to share the same concern Rose and I were feeling, as if he wasn’t at risk of being outed as a Necromancer, or a necromancer adjacent thrall.

“Next up, yeh fatty.” the guard said to a slightly overweight merchant. I figured that it would be hard not to gain weight when spending all day waiting in lines, buying street food from the predatory vendors that were harassing the people in line. My cheap robes kept most of the vendors away from us, like a sign saying we don’t have any money and you’ll not get a copper off of our dead corpses. More specifically, the corpses that we’d become after they forced George to take off his clothes.

“Next up, the three bland looking folk, followed by the weirdo dressed like it's winter.”

The guards of Yorle had a different type of look about them than the guards in Nosturdam. Sure, their helmets were still the standard guard style helmet, and their belt buckles were still a somewhat gray iron, but the blue cape and star insignia was a sign that these guards meant business. Possibly, the taking bribes on the side sort of business.

“Sir, it is a pleasure to meet you.” I said, as I bowed. It was always good to play to your strengths. My strength being my charm and respectfulness of those in power.

“Save the pleasantries, young man. These are trying times around our shores. With thieves, smugglers, and strange men mingling with ourselves, it's only so long before the downfall of Yorle. Just look at what happened to Nosturdam three days East.” The guard’s stern expression did not waver.

“We’re trying to find passage to the Isles.” Azog said.

“Ah, dark times greet you in the Isles. They’re going through their own period of darkness as well. The Royals of Ardenia on the East Islands are going through a civil war, they're fighting to reclaim the Eastern Front before the Old King Almendust turns to dust, cuz he's super old. The Westerns Islands are having a problem with outcroppings of vampires after the vampire slayers went on strike over the embargo on garlic and the increased tax on silver. Truly dark times.” said the grim guard.

“What place isn’t going through some darkness and inner turmoil?” Rose asked.

The guard mumbled to himself and counted on his fingers. He mumbled some more before he turned back to us.

“I’m afraid, I can’t think of any. These are definitely some trying times. And that is why I’ll have to turn you four away. I can’t afford to get loose and reckless with my duty and let three bland folk and a weirdo aboard these vessels. Try your luck out towards Growel’s Maw, if you need to catch a ship so badly. ” spoke the stern guard.

“Really, Growel’s Maw? That’s on the entire other side of the continent.” I said as I looked at the map I had just unfurled.

“Well. Port Smith isn’t going to take their chances on individuals as shady as you three... four. They might take the tall one dressed in coats. They like 'em tall over there.”

“So that’s it? Our journey ends before it even began?!” Rose shouted, as her temper grew. It was not lady-like or princess-like to shout, but anger got the better of her. She clenched onto her guide book, digging her nails into the nice leather cover.

“What’ll it cost us, for you to let us slip through. I know there is always a price.” Azog whispered to the Guard.

“You take me for a traitor of this fine city!” shouted the stern guard.

The crowd bristled and the other guards casually hanging out in the nearby town square brandished their weapons. Hatchets, Axes, Polearms, and Fishing Nets were their go to weapons. I didn't have the bones necessary to win in a fight, and even if I did I wasn’t sure that the commotion would be worth it. Still, though I put my hands on my dagger.

The stern guard leaned and whispered into Azog’s ear.

“Three gold, my friend. Otherwise, I suggest you walk away while I save some face by yelling at you.” suggested the guard.

Azog nodded. There was a time and a place for arguing with authority and there were times when arguing with authority got you locked up and sent to go fight a War Golem. Azog turned to us, and shrugged.

“I guess, we’ll be lookin’ for a ship in another town. Lets go get to the Inn down there and get some fish, while we look at our options.” said Azog.

“That sounds good.” I said, before Rose could say something we’d regret. I grabbed onto George’s wrist, who was looking at the seagulls squawking and hadn’t seen that we were leaving, and definitely hadn’t heard that we were leaving.

The guards sheathed their weapons but kept their eyes on us as traveled away from the dock. I held my gut as my upset stomach from the smell of fish mingled with the gut feeling that were were being followed.