“Are the damned and the damnable all doomed to wander to Home Depot?” -Dan Olson, I Don’t Know James Rolfe-
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“Before anything else,” James held up a hand to the Necessary Evil to reject the offer of tea. Drinking literally anything here seemed beyond stupid, and only partly because the atmosphere of the derelict buffet restaurant made his appetite take flight. James rotated a bunch of questions through his thoughts; he wanted to know if he’d been manipulated to come here mostly alone, or if the pillar had been waiting for long, or what its involvement in the whole thing going on here was, but… “I’d be really curious to know how long you would have kept sitting here if I hadn’t shown up.” He asked instead.
The nebulously Asian man on the other side of the table smiled like a razorblade. “You think rather highly of yourself. Perhaps you are not my only meeting today.”
James shrugged, conceding that point. They knew there was a Camille around, so it was possible this was just a coincidence. Hell, it was possible he wasn’t expected at all and this was the pillar doing damage control on his mysterious facade. “Well. Good to meet you I suppose. I’m-“
”I know who you are, oh yes.” The pillar cut him off, tilting his small teacup in his curled hand. “Tell me. How do you expect this to play out, child?”
Taking a calming moment to himself, James tried to not stare at the table’s surface with bulging eyes and a huff of breath. Instead, he opted to be a little more polite as he saw Momo slip into the back kitchens and out of sight. “Expect? Nothing. I’ve met a few of your ilk by this point, and I know for a fact that I can’t expect anything from you.” James said evenly.
The pillar made a soft noise of appreciation. An old grandfather showing a moment of respect for the next generation. “Well. You aren’t as foolish as Trench made you sound.”
”…if you tell me that the Last Line’s name is actually Trench, I will go mad.” James informed him flatly. “I will. I can’t not. That’s absurd, and also I think someone else’s OC at this point.”
“Perhaps I complimented too soon.” The Necessary Evil sipped his tea lightly. “Allow me to skip the pleasantries and barbs. I’m afraid I cannot allow you to interfere with the plans I have set in motion here.” The pillar pretended to sigh, suit rippling through a few different styles and cuts as he shook his head. “It is regrettable that your righteous anger will bring us into conflict, but it is not too late to back away.”
James sucked air through gritted teeth. “I kinda figured from the Name, but I think we’re going to have different ideas of what is and is not acceptable.” He said. “Though that-“
”There is a tipping point approaching.” Aku cut him off. “And you are holding this project on the wrong side of it. So many are. But this is needed, and one by one, I will see every obstacle to salvation cut down. If you cannot-“
”I can interrupt people too, you know.” James said, raising his eyebrows at the person on the other side of the table. He didn’t say anything else, just leaning back, one arm over the cracked red plastic seating.
Aku frowned at him, as if the idea that being interrupted might be annoying hadn’t actually been considered ever before. “You, I am talking to.” The pillar spoke, in a voice like he was unfamiliar also with the idea of being gentle, but was trying anyway. “Because you understand. You could have been one of mine, you almost could be still. The others… the others will need handling. But you could be convinced.”
”Why even bother?” James leaned forward, shifting slightly to keep the blank faced man standing by his side of the table in his line of sight. “I can’t tell by looking at you, but so far every pillar could rip people apart bare handed. Why bother talking, when you know you can just take what you want? I wouldn’t do that, but you guys seem to love that sort of thing.”
”Especially some of my siblings in arms, yes, I am aware.” The Necessary Evil’s mouth twisted, making him look almost embarrassed for just a brief moment before covering it with another sip of tea. “There are reasons, and there are reasons, you see. And of the two, this would be the latter. You are… odd. Perhaps because you, as you say, ‘wouldn’t do that’. Perhaps something else. Looking backward is harder than looking forward, so none of us could properly map what brought you here.” James filed that away for later. “But you shift balances. You defy expectations. Slightly, but certainly. And when expectations are dismal, it is the folly of man to cling to hope.”
”I mean, arguably that’s why-“
”No, no.” Aku cut him off again with a wave of a finger. “Hope does not change outcomes. Not any more than anger or sorrow or any of the other things that childish stories tell the children such as yourself of as ways to change fate.”
James frowned, shaking his head minutely. He wanted to tell this thing across from him that interrupting people was a sign of emotional immaturity, and repeatedly calling him a child was getting old in light of that hypocrisy, but he held back. For now. “So you don’t want to kill me because you think I’m… what, a chosen one?”
”No. Our chosen ones have largely failed to accomplish anything.” Aku said sadly. “But even with all your oddity, I would still kill you if it was required. I simply offer the choice first. And choice it is. Chosen? No. You are a choosing one.”
Because, James knew and had known for the whole conversation, the thing was a pillar. And while it wasn’t a concretely known factor, all the intelligence they’d managed to put together on this particular brand of creature pointed to one outcome.
Pillars had names, but those names weren’t decorative. They were either a reflection or a statement of what the pillar was ‘allowed’ to get away with. Acting against their role hurt them, or drained them, or in some way limited their ability to act in the future. That the thing sitting across from him could murder the fuck out of his fragile human body was a given, but James would do his best to make it inconvenient. And he would have a lot of help, because if it wasn’t necessary…
Then it wouldn’t really line up to what the Necessary Evil was empowered to do.
If it had been the Chain Breaker waiting in here for him, James would have fucking grabbed Momo and bolted. Same for the Long Arm of the Law. But for this pillar, and maybe also for Blitzkrieg if she was sitting down, he felt like he had at least a little buffer before they started shooting.
“Convince me,” James said in a deadly quiet voice, because he knew that one wrong word here would tilt him into the acceptable target zone, “why we should let you mindfuck children and lock the disobedient ones in here?” He waved a hand around the remodeled half-buffet half-prison half-private office.
Wait. James tried to focus on that last part, but didn’t get far before his conversation partner spoke.
”In reality, I care little for children.” Aku said with polite poise. The thing’s voice was precise, without being stilted or warped, which was an odd experience on its own. Even the Right Person, the nicest one so far, had a voice that twisted as it spoke. “All that is required of them is that they eventually grow up to be useful adults. Their foundational role in civilization is one of an investment.”
”As in, a literal line on the asset sheet?” James didn’t hide his disgust at that.
The Necessary Evil waved a hand back and forth in a motion that was anything but idle. “If it pleases your martyrdom complex to think so, you may. But this has always been the way of the world. Now, we simply have more knowledge and technology that allows it to be quantified.” He reached for his tea cup, and for a moment the table wasn’t the slightly moldy chipped wood of the derelict restaurant, but a sleek glass and mahogany construct; though only around his hand, the world rippling back as he pulled away. “As to what you have the capacity to disallow, it is somewhat smaller than you believe.”
”We’d still try.” James pointed out, aiming a finger at the altered person.
”You would. You may even succeed at your tactical objective. But you would take losses.” Aku didn’t look up at James, keeping his eyes tilted down at his tea, reclining in the black leather chair that didn’t belong here. “You would, rightly, despise me for it. You would despise yourself as well, for the cost. The strongest way in which we differ is that you still view your people as having a value that cannot be measured or balanced. And yet the strongest way in which we are the same is, I do truly believe you would do it regardless.”
That was a grim thought. ”I might.” James admitted. “But I’d be fighting right there with them.”
”Of course you would. You approach the threshold, I would expect nothing less.” Aku stated. “And yet, it costs me very little to ask you to step aside. So I ask.”
James looked down at his own tea, using the motion to mask his own inner turmoil. And not just about when he’d been poured tea; that was the kind of weird shit that happened around pillars, he got that part.
No, what had him bothered was that he was legitimately considering saying yes.
The pillars were beyond dangerous. Anyone who was near them could actually feel it, and while this one was sort of masking, James still understood on an almost primal level that he was easily within killing range. They were, as far as the Order knew, unkillable, capable of being anywhere, had a strange bag of metaphorical tricks, and were willing to kill anyone that got between them and their unknown goals.
Being compared to them kinda sucked, honestly. Only about half of that applied to him, after all.
If this one, one that was apparently ontologically evil, was politely asking not to fight, James was… thrown a bit. His gut reaction was that if someone evil wanted something, it was probably a good idea to deny them that thing. But also, he didn’t want to spend lives on this. Especially not if there was an alternate path to getting the child-abuse-based conspiracy to change the way they did things through diplomatic pressure.
”You understand that agreeing with you at all feels wrong, don’t you?” James asked quietly.
The Necessary Evil gave another of those little bladed smiles, as the world behind him became a little confusing. Was it the open floor plan of a building with all the buffet serving lines removed, or was it the textured floor to ceiling glass window of a skyscraper? Hard to tell. The motionless attendants by the table didn’t react to the overlay of scenery, though James really wanted to ask. He wanted to ask a lot.
Instead, he got an answer he didn’t like. “Have you heard the parable of the scorpion and the frog?” The pillar asked him, continuing without waiting for James to reply. “A frog and a scorpion are sitting on a riverbank.” His accented voice, currently sounding crisply Chinese, wove the story in a way that pushed even James to not interrupt. “The scorpion says, we both need to cross the river, carry me on your back. The frog says no! You will sting me, and I will die. Ah, says the scorpion, but if I sting you, I will drown myself. It would be foolish, and so you know you are safe.” He smiled at James again, sipping lightly of the tea that seemed to never end, the walls around them slipping into dark mahogany wood panels and fuzzily outlined decorations. “The frog agrees, and allows the scorpion on. Halfway across the river, he feels a sting. Why? He asks. And the scorpion says only, it is in my nature.”
James felt a pressure. Like he couldn’t breathe, but also like his skin didn’t fit right. That the world was warping slightly, the pillar’s presence doing something to either his mind or body or both. “I’ve heard the story.” He said, words coming out thicker than he’d like. “I have my own preferred version. The scorpion says, carry me across please, I cannot swim. The frog says, of course old friend. They cross the river. Later they get brunch.”
”Naïveté does not suit you, child.” Aku admonished him as James realized he was sitting on a leather couch and not an old cracked padded bench.
”My version is the world I want to live in.” James said simply.
”And mine is the world we do live in.” The pillar replied swiftly. “Do not misunderstand me, these roles are not ours. But the majority of humanity… will not change their natures. They require motivation, often coercion, simply to do what is needed to keep civilization aglow. That is my burden. Forcing the scorpions to serve the frogs.”
James blinked. “You think we’re part of the problem.” He said, surprised. “You think that the people trying to end cancer and solve the energy crisis are the problem. Not the people brainwashing children and making them into soldiers?” The more he rolled the thought around, the more incredulous he became.
The pillar frowned, a thin line on his round face, jet black eyebrows flattening as he held back an impolite scowl. ”Your reductive views on faith aside, yes. For all that you have named yourself with a grand title, you do not bring order.”
”Order is overrated.” James said on reflex.
Aku shook his head in a disproving little side to side. “You have your own version of the tale. I have mine. The scorpion and the frog sit by the river. The scorpion asks to be carried, as it cannot swim. The frog agrees. It has a use for the monster, as there are other frogs. And they are, all of them, worse than the scorpion.” He sipped, and the walls hardened, the smell of old leather and books replacing the mildew of the derelict restaurant. “The frog carries the scorpion for some time. Not as a passenger, but as a weapon. And when the enemies are defeated, and the duo have done what must be done, the frog can swim, and the scorpion cannot.” His accent shifted as he spoke, but his voice stayed measured and smooth.
There was a meaning to the story, and James didn’t find it especially subtle to extract. A lifetime of reading over his grade level had sharpened his literary criticism skills, and it wasn’t hard to see what the pillar was getting at. He might feel bad about doing it, but the moment James and the Order of Endless Rooms were more trouble than they were worth, they’d be drowned the same as the scorpion.
The threat was a bit overt. But it still worked. James felt his heart hammering, and as it did, he realized they were almost fully somewhere else now. Furniture, walls, floor, all of it was being replaced by wherever the Necessary Evil was… moving them? Or maybe always was? It was magic, in a way that most of the cause-and-effect tools the Order used wasn’t, which made it hard for him to get a grasp on.
And yet, he had an instinct. Along with a personal directive, that had started as a joke, and then slowly been compounded upon in his life until it was something expected of him. James might not like it, but he had a reputation to maintain.
So he started talking back.
”The original, my ideal version, your portentous version, let me add one more.” He sat straight, pressing his fingertips together in front of his face. "A frog and a scorpion are sitting on a bank." James began his reply softly, staring across to actually meet Aku’s eyes, even though the pillar’s irises were the most in flux part of it. "The scorpion says, 'I cannot swim. May I ride upon your back?' The frog says 'No.I know what you are. You will sting me and we will both die. That is your nature.' The scorpion says nothing." He stared across the glass table, into the eyes of a thing that was looking at him with something close to curiosity. "Here they are, two people, talking to each other. It has been so long since scorpions learned the ways of speech and civility. It has been so long since a scorpion killed a frog. And yet the scorpion is reduced to nothing more than the sum of the parts of ancestors she will never meet. Because someone else has already decided what her nature is." He pushed the teacup away with one finger, the table sliding back in its wake from glass to old damaged wood.
He hoped that the words, the eye contact, and the slight of hand that he wasn’t expert at yet, all combined to be enough to mask him affixing the tracker he got from Yin to the bottom of the cup.
The pillar sipped his tea. “I am not sure I see your point.” He said bluntly.
”I’ll explain, using small words.” James said, hostility bleeding through. Something he was fine with at this stage. “You are underestimating the capacity that every single person has, for intelligence and compassion. You think your evil is required because you lack imagination. And it is not your place to choose a cruel order over a chaotic freedom.” James’ voice built as he spoke, bits of the restaurant showing through his expanded peripheral vision as wherever he’d been put, he put himself back where he was.
Aku laughed, a simple little chuckle with no humor to it. “I would have thought that, of all of the potentials, you would understand the need to work with monsters.”
James stood up, and everything except the pillar, his two ‘bodyguards’, and his singular tea cup, vanished. It was just a shitty broken down Chinese buffet some assholes had put a bunch of cages in. “The only extent to which I ever work with monsters is…” James trailed off, suddenly realizing he didn’t actually have a conclusion to that sentence. He blinked, creeping confusion taking the place of righteous indignation. “Uh… wait, sorry, hang on.” Dropping back to sitting on the old cracked red plastic of the bench, he leaned an elbow on the table. “I need you to give me a straight answer here. What are you asking us to not interfere with? Exactly.”
The Necessary Evil wasn’t easy to confuse, but the words actually managed to get a slow blink from the man shaped creature. “I assume it was obvious, as you are already upon their trail like the hunting dogs you are. The efforts of the locals to preserve a portion of their population against disaster. It requires, sadly, cooperation from… distasteful things.”
”Dungeon life.” James said, abruptly understanding his massive error. “You mean… they’re working with the shifters. The things from… elsewhere, however you call it.”
”A necessary evil.” The pillar nodded once, a quick jerk of the head. “I am aware that you would have no reason to trust me, frog that you are, but I would promise that we do not need to be enemies in this.”
James was actually dumbfounded. Completely caught off guard. There were a lot of things he’d expected from a conversation with a pillar, a lot of contingencies he’d planned for. Hell, just to be safe, he had been ready to call for the whole building to be carved in half with a logisticor just to get himself and the prisoners out safe. The entire primary reason Momo was here was to be splashing totem and absorbed red effects on the pillar to try to find anything they could use against it, all under the guise of running around breaking things. This was something they had a broad strategy for, even if James hadn’t exactly expected to need to put it to use today.
He’d expected threats, even outright violence. He’d expected having to make concessions. He’d expected maybe needing to flee or fight. He’d expected getting hurt and accomplishing nothing.
What he hadn’t expected, couldn’t have expected, was that the pillar was… fuck, how did he even phrase it? It was almost too obvious, and he hated it, but once James had the thought he couldn’t shake it for a better one. The Necessary Evil, Aku, the pillar across the table from him, was so openly and defaultly racist that it saw the act of interspecies cooperation as something to be struggled through, until it got what it wanted.
Suddenly, the pillar’s Name wasn’t a dangerous threat or a potential shield. It was, at least in this case, a matter of perspective that gave James and the Order a massive edge in every single conversation they would ever have with this fucking moron from now until he could find a way to stick Aku in a mandatory ethics and sensitivity training course.
”So just for the sake of clarity.” James said slowly. “You have no interest in anything except the evacuation and resettlement thing? I assume they’re going into a dungeon, by the way; we’re working on finding where, but if you could confirm-“
”An odd choice of term. So accurate, but not for the reason you believe.” Aku mused. Opposite him, James somehow refrained from sighing or rolling his eyes. “But you are correct. Onto your enemies, visit whatever violence you wish. They are not my concern. Only the preservation of seeds of civilization against the coming cataclysm.”
”Great.” James nodded. “Done.”
Every trace of the office, even the mirage impressions of a window and a view of an unknown city, snapped away. Confusion actually showing up on the Necessary Evil’s face. “…Really.” It half-asked. Clearly, the outcome wasn’t one that was expected.
”Yup.” James said with a peppy energy. “Oh, yeah, working with nonhuman life is super hard. I can see why you’d have a problem with it. But I think we can suffer through the ordeal for a bit. No worries, your project’s safe from us.” His ability to restrain whatever gland produced snark and veiled references was rapidly losing strength. “Any other hard tasks you need done? Pick up your dry cleaning? Bring you something from Starbucks?”
”You surprise me, little anomaly.” The pillar said, setting down his cup and resting his fingers on the rim. “But then, that is rather the point. Very well. The uncertain and discomforting deal is made. While we will never be allies, for the moment, we shall restrain our need to be enemies.”
James pursed his lips, head tilting down and to the side at an almost painful angle as he tried to think of anything to say in reply to that. The pillar had spent half this conversation speaking in contemporary patterns, and half of it talking like he was some kind of high fantasy wizard. For just a brief moment, James pressed his eyes closed before he formed a response and looked back up.
But Aku was gone. There was no sign the pillar had ever been there, except for a smooth ornate cup sitting on his side of the ruined table. No hint of the fancy and authoritative chair he’d been in, just another part of the curved bench that James was on. No sign of the rest of the tea set either, which James took as a potential success.
”Well that was fucking weird.” James sighed, taking a second to compose himself.
The man standing next to him ruined the moment by yelling in startled terror. “Intruder!” His panicked shout came the moment after the Necessary Evil was gone.
Now James allowed himself a sigh. He supposed it was too much to hope that the blank faced duo were some kind of golems or something that Aku would be taking back with him to his home office. “Gentlemen.” James started talking. “I don’t suppose-“
One of them slammed a fist into the side of James’ head, rudely interrupting him. The blow came as he was trying to pull away, and at an odd angle, so it didn’t do more than rattle him. But it was the thought that counted, and in the real world, a blow to the head like that with proper power behind it could actually be lethal, so James wasn’t amused.
He tried to say something else, and the guy just kept hitting him. So after the third blow to his face where James was pretty sure his singular contact lens for his unenhanced eye got knocked out, he stopped trying to talk and slipped into the too-familiar flow of violence. While his assailant was yelling about grabbing his arms to his friend, James got an arm up and snagged the wrist of the next punch driven his way. Which was good, because the man had found his footing, and this one was forceful.
Pulling, using the momentum to yank the attacker off guard, James got his other hand on the man’s tie, and used his weight to haul himself out of the restaurant bench and to his feet. At the same time, he listened to the artificial instincts of judo lessons he’d never taken, and kept the momentum flowing to slam the man into the table hard enough to knock all the air out of his lungs.
The other guard, freed from whatever mind control the Necessary Evil had used on him, surprised James by escalating without hesitation. His friend had seemed uncertain about fighting at all, but this dude barely gave James time to get to his feet before he had grabbed a metal framed dining chair from where they were piled up by the back wall, and tried to slam it into James like the world’s worst mace.
James shifted his feet to the side to dodge, kicking the slumped first guard in the ass and sending him sprawling mostly harmlessly into the dusty floor as James situated himself.
Stepping back out of reach of another strike that came with an associated yell of rage, James made sure that he was aware of what was around him. The large table to his right, a chest high wall behind him that he was pretty sure he could kick over if he needed to, open space on the left, and the kitchen and rough footing of the torn up floor behind his attacker. The man wound up for another swipe with the chair, and James felt a weird sensation; multiple sets of ideas on how to fight, both overlapping at the same time. Skill ranks in judo telling him to go for a grab and throw, while his more recent acquisition of kickboxing telling him to go for a strike while the target was open.
It was something he actually hadn’t trained around, this being the first time he’d been in a real fight for a while that wasn’t dungeon based, and the momentary confusion made him lose both opportunities. Not enough to get hit by a chair, but enough that he needed to make some space.
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Shuffling backward farther until the wall was threatening his freedom of movement, James raised his hands. “Woah, hey! Let’s calm down here!” He tried to say, holding out his hands in a placating gesture even as he toggled one of his shield bracers to ‘chair impact’.
”How did you get in here?!” The man bellowed at him with a voice that would make an angry high school football coach jealous.
James was going to explain it was through the front door, but he didn’t get a chance before his opponent made another attack. He didn’t dodge this time, instead letting the chair slam to a stop on the dome of golden lines that his shield bracer put out around him. Then he delivered a stomping kick to the man’s gut, grabbing the chair out of the air as he sent his opponent to the ground.
He dropped the chair as it dragged him sideways. The thing was heavy, holy shit. “You could have killed someone with this!” James chastised the groaning figure on the floor as he dropped the metal seat with a thud. “Alright, everyone calm down, this doesn’t-“ He whipped his arm around as the first man came at him with an uncomfortably familiar dagger. James wasn’t interested in getting stabbed again, so he caught the man’s wrist, and then discharged all the electricity stored in his skin into the potential murderer in a painful burst.
Well, painful for him. Not for James. James was fine, though the man seemed unhappy.
With the two guards down, James holding the spell-made knife he’d snagged without somehow cutting himself, and the situation clearly under control, Momo decided to burst into the room. “Everyone freeze, FBI!” She yelled out, holding out her hand in a classic finger gun pose.
”Momo…” James didn’t even know where to start with this. He looked down at the two injured and gasping men on the floor, then back at her. “Where were you thirty seconds ago?” He asked, looking past her to where he could see faces peeking around the corner of the gap in the wall that led to the kitchens.
”Rescuing people? Waiting to rescue you? I dunno, there’s plenty of options really.” She shrugged, holstering her hand into one of her jacket pockets. “Where’d the thing go?”
”Back to his home office, I suspect.” James said. “What’s the place look like?”
Momo slapped her hands down the side of her jacket as she looked around. “Kinda shitty!” She announced. “Also there’s a bunch of kids in cages, which I thought only the US government was allowed to do. For some reason.”
”…good point, let’s put that on the list of things to tackle next.” James rubbed the back of his hand against his eye, trying to figure out if his vision was blurry because he had lost a contact, or if he’d just been hit too hard. He was pretty sure it was option two. In doing so, he caught sight of one of the guards dragging himself to his knees. “You! Stay on the floor!” James ordered in a commanding tone. “If you want to sit up, against that wall. Got it?”
The man nodded, hands in the air as he wobbled over and sat. “Please don’t kill me.” He didn’t sound half as vicious as he was when he was trying to kill James with a chair. “I have a-“
”Ssh. Adults are talking.” Momo cut him off before talking to James while keeping her eyes on the temporary prisoner. “There’s twenty six cells, one’s empty cause I think they were keeping Charlie there. Twenty three humans in the building, which means we’ve got four nonhumans, but I don’t think I fuckin’ care right now, do you?”
”Not even a little bit.” James said with a repressed snarl.
”Cool. Got half of them open. No one else is here, so I don’t know what these two goobers are for, since they seem… incompetent?” Momo motioned to the guards.
James looked at where the two men were now cowering by the low wall and sighed again. “Okay. I’ve alerted Recovery, there’s people getting ready to receive our newest rescues. Let’s crack these things open.”
”N-no!” One of the men started to say, gasping around cracked ribs. “You-!” His partner clapped a hand over his mouth, shutting him up.
James and Momo looked at the two, then back at each other. “Sure.” James said. “So, you two… no remorse for running a secret prison full of children?” He asked.
”They’re dangerous! They need to learn control, or their miracles could hurt people!”
Momo caught something James had almost let slip by, perking up instantly. “Ooh! Let’s steal the cells!” She said happily. “Cause that implies there’s some kind of antimagic field going on, and I want it.” She rubbed her hands together like a raccoon that was preparing a heist.
That got a sigh from him, but James couldn’t really argue with the logic. ”Sure. Go get the others open, I’m going to watch these two assholes.” James wanted to take a week long nap, but he ground down the yawn that threatened to escape, and folded his arms sternly instead. “Everyone in the back, feel free to come out! I don’t bite!” He looked over toward the cluster of apparently human teenagers that were watching him suspiciously. “Everyone okay?” He asked more softly.
They… weren’t. They were a lot of things, but okay wasn’t one of them. Half of them looked like they were planning to break past him for the front door, or maybe making plans to settle for the side door if they could find a way to cut the heavy metal chain that was holding it shut. Some of the dozen teenagers looked at him like he was a monster, while some were eying the guards like the two injured men were in need of being finished off.
All of them were dressed mostly the same. Some kind of thin white uniform that looked like it was stained and ripped on half the people who wore it, different styles for the guys and the girls. So they’d had their stuff taken as well as their dignity and freedom. Great.
A young woman was the first one to find her voice, and the first thing she asked was if she was going to be sent back to her family. A few others tensed up, and James didn’t need any of his various social skill ranks to know this was a loaded question.
”Only if you want to.” He told her flatly. “Frankly, I’m inclined to flatly say no, considering from what I understand, your families are the reason you got stuck in here. But if you want to… yeah, you can go back. For anyone who doesn’t, we’re getting something set up, and you’ll be welcome to our hospitality for as long as you need it.”
That clearly relaxed them, to a degree that made him almost sick. James didn’t have a lot of experience interacting with mistreated human children, but he did spend a good chunk of his life lately helping rescued ratroaches. And when it was so easy to draw a clear line between those victims, and these victims, it made him want to start hitting things.
He couldn’t hit the Akashic Sewer. Yet. But this was something that was the domain of people. Humans who had looked at abuse and violence as tools to control their objectified kids. And James could hit them. Hopefully hard enough to send them into orbit where they could be someone else’s problem.
”Your parents will be worri-“ one of the guards started to say, before James casually turned and kicked his boot into the decayed wood panels of the wall the man was sitting against, right next to the speaker’s head.
James leaned down, bracing himself on his thigh as he cocked his leg that was now partly buried in the wall he’d just splintered inward, and met the guard’s wide eyes with his own narrow glare. “Silence.” He ordered, before yanking his foot out and dusting off his pant leg. He wasn’t actually going to hurt either of them, but the desire to do so was building. And he was angry enough that it had felt too easy to just break something in frustration. So he turned away and back to the cluster of teens and young adults and one kid who looked like he was maybe ten, and addressed them instead. “Now. Momo’s getting everyone else out, and we’ve got some people coming in to get you guys out of here. Maybe get some real food. Is anyone hungry?” Slow nods in response, people who weren’t sure if they could trust him or were allowed to talk. “Alright.” James tried not to sigh again. “Does anyone have any questions real quick?”
”Are you a superhero?” The youngest boy’s quiet voice was hard to hear over the sound of Momo doing something unpleasant to one of the locked metal cell doors.
James laughed, which seemed to put a few of the older kids on edge, so he stopped. “I’m working on it.” He admitted. “But I am here to save the day, so, let’s go with yes for now.”
”Probably a demon in disguise.” One of the guards shouted.
It was getting to be a little much for James to put up with. But instead of anger, he found himself just feeling exhausted. He half turned to look at the man, who flinched back, before shaking his head and ignoring the comment. “Anyway.” He said out loud. “As a heads up to everyone, we’re gonna have some people coming in here shortly. They’re good people, I’m just letting you know so you don’t panic. Now, is there anything I need to know?” He looked at the cluster of young faces; some of them watching him, some of them looking past him to the men on the ground like they were waiting for James to turn his back so they could start stabbing.
”There’s more like them.” One older boy spat out. “They… they come by every few days to test people.”
”Test for what?” James asked, rapidly but keeping his voice schooled.
“For… for if we’re reformed.” Another girl twitched when James looked her way. “We’re supposed to be…”
”They want us-“
”They don’t let us-“
Half the kids started talking at once as James tried to hold up his hands and get them to quiet down and talk one at a time. It was the kind of process that got more confusing when one by one Momo pointed the people she was continuing to rescue out of their cells and over to the growing group.
But James eventually got something of a complete picture. It required him borrowing some duct tape from Momo so he could silence his two prisoners, but he got there. These kids, every one of them, had spell slots, and had been pushed to use certain self-manipulation magics. And many of them had either done so too much, or badly, and it had caused them to become…
Well, either ‘erratic’, or ‘ungodly’, depending on who was talking.
It took James about two minutes to realize that their erratic behaviors were the result of them being forced to give themselves convictions that sounded like the kind of things you would hear in a sermon, and then actually following through on those convictions. That wasn’t the only reason, but it was a dominant one. They were…
They were just kids.
Kids that were becoming harder for their parents and church elders to control.
And because they were all mages, and the people who had put them in this program in the first place wanted complete control over them, the reaction to them slipping the leash even a little bit had led to a disproportionate crackdown on their freedom. Lock them in antimagic boxes, browbeat them into submission, force them to behave.
“Okay. Show of hands. Does anyone here have any spells slotted? Eh… equipped, or bound, or…” James didn’t know what term they used, it hadn’t come up. But what did come up were a handful of hands, and at least three people who weren’t going to say but James could tell were hiding the fact that they did have their own. “Alright. Don’t worry, we don’t care. I just wanted to know so there’s no surprises. Like-“
”James?!” A young woman’s voice surprised him. Not Momo, who James saw gleefully running by in the other room as she applied some kind of enchanted bolt cutters to one of the locks with a manic cackle. But someone who he recognized from a few short encounters a while back. “Why are you here?!”
”Hi Emma. Ah, and Liam, good, you’re both here.” James nodded at the two, who stared at him a little more openly than the others. “Frankly, I’m surprised you’re surprised. Who else were you expecting, Lincon?” He saw their faces, and despite not having Alanna’s Empathy power, it was comically easy to read the two young people. “Yeah, he’s around. Doing a little better. We can talk more later.”
James was interrupted by the old abandoned building’s front door opening. The group of teenagers, some of them clustered together, some having taking what seats were left just to get off their feet, some trying to be cool or antisocial or both by leaning on the walls farther away from James, all universally snapped around to watch just in case someone on the side of their jailers came in. But before anyone entered the main space, an energetic man’s reedy voice called out. “Delivery! We’ve got rides out of here, fruit snacks, and bad jokes!”
It had been a while since James had worked with Max. Actually, only once maybe, that he could remember. He liked the guy, and not just because he had solidarity in the same long hair style that James did; Max was always just excited for stuff, in an infectious way. And as he made his way into the building, his called entrance instantly put people at ease. He was a great choice from Recovery for the person to answer James’ call for help for this situation. “Hey Max.” James called. “Oh, shit, I forgot. Is everyone in your group human?”
”Nope! That an issue?”
James turned back to the group of rescues as the last few filtered in from the other room, the newer ones keeping their distance as Momo got to work on the last door which had been chained shut a lot more thoroughly. “Hey, everyone, if I could get your attention?” He cleared his throat. “Hi. I didn’t officially introduce myself. My name is James, I’m a paladin of the Order of Endless Rooms. Our people aren’t all human, but I swear, we’re all here to help you, okay? Is that going to be a problem for anyone?”
”Are they… demons?” The young kid asked tentatively.
”Not to my knowledge.” Texture-Of-Barkdust answered, slithering into the room like she owned the place. “If I am, I am not being paid properly for it. Ah, James, good. Have you been notified? We cannot steal the structure, nor level it. It is integrated with the surrounding buildings.”
James wrapped a hand around his face, pressing fingers to either side of his eyes as he marveled at how impatient even the most mature camracondas were sometimes. “Hi Barkdust. Everyone, this is Texture-Of-Barkdust. She has fruit snacks and bad timing, I guess.”
”Hello.”
”Are you a robot?!” Someone excitedly called out.
”No. I am partially organic and am not programmed.” Texture-Of-Barkdust patiently replied. “My voice is artificial as I do not have a natural one.” She explained as Max and a couple other human Recovery knights filtered into the room and started checking on everyone personally. “Now. Who wishes to leave? We have teleporters, but they are not interesting.”
For some of the kids, the obvious fear of a camraconda was snuffed out instantly by the offer of escape. They were all lurking in the cleared out front space of this broken down building, but it was mostly because they didn’t know where to go otherwise. But the chance of leaving, now? That was enough to get them moving. Clamoring, even. A status that Texture-Of-Barkdust disproved of, which led to James’ favorite small interaction of the day; a camraconda taking a stern matronly tone to unruly human teens.
“Oh, hey.” James caught Max’s attention and pulled the knight aside for a quiet conversation. “If it’s possible, you should get them out of here without telepads.” He said quickly.
”Why? Wait, no, I can guess. Is it something worryingly authoritarian?” Max laughed humorlessly.
James nodded. “Lincon had a thing where he couldn’t leave the region, and telepads count, even if you’re going inside the area. Sorry, I completely forgot about this up until right now. We can test it to see if these kids have the same effect on them, but it hurt like hell at the time, so maybe stick them in a hotel or something for a day?”
”Can do boss.” Max gave a British style salute and turned to saunter back to the group, sending updated instructions via skulljack link to the other Recovery knights in the building and rapidly assigning people to get room reservations and rides.
James let Max and Barkdust work that out. While they got the kids sorted out, he turned to the two people who’d tried to murder him. “Alright. Listen up.” He said quietly, kneeling near them. “We’re out of here. I’m sure you’ll be on the phone as soon as I’m gone, so I’ve got a message for you to pass on. This? All of this? It stops. Now. I’m gonna leave a number on your phones, and if your little operation wants to make contact with us and talk things out, we are willing to do so. But this? Secret unnoticeable prisons? Stop. Or next time you might not get someone as nice as me.“ He met one of their glares, and added, “Or, even worse, you’ll just get me again, but I’ll be angry.”
He fished around in their pockets, despite their duct tape muffled protests, and got both their phones. Adding an Order contact number to their contacts list was technically what he was doing, but also he casually made use of their data plan to visit a web server that the rogues had set up, which automatically installed a lot of spyware on the devices. He also intentionally gave the two back the wrong phones just out of petty spite.
”Hey oh glorious leader.” Max approached James with a false smile that even James couldn’t see the edges of properly; expressed casual happiness kept in place for the benefit of their new charges. “We’re ready to start moving people out. We’re just using cabs, which seems anonymous enough to be safe for now. None of these poor guys want to see their parents again, but we’re gonna work on getting contact so we can keep people informed later. Technically this is kidnapping I guess? So I’m telling you, so you’re part of the conspiracy!”
”Ugh. Don’t say conspiracy.” James groaned. “Also I think Momo has one more prisoner to get out of here?” He looked over to the other room where Momo had taken a few steps back and decided to employ a judicious amount of thermite to her latest problem, molten metal dripping to the floor in a shower of sparks.
When the process was done, she used her crowbar to lever the door open without touching it. And then, said something that made James blood go cold.
”Oh! Hey Camille.”
“Shit.” James barked out, on his feet and sprinting for the other room with a burst of speed that drew attention rapidly. He grabbed the discarded knife off the table as he passed, flinging himself over a brass bar that once marked where a line formed for a buffet, and closing in on Momo.
He wasn’t quite fast enough. Maybe if Momo hadn’t said anything, maybe if these assholes hadn’t imprisoned her, maybe if the Necessary Evil hadn’t been fucking around, maybe a lot of things would have changed how this Camille reacted. But right now, all she saw was someone who seemed to know who she was, cracking open the door to a cell that even she couldn’t break out of. And she reacted, predictably, violently.
A hand snapped around Momo’s neck, and flung her sideways like a ragdoll. Whatever Momo had set her shield bracers to, James felt an internal burst of relief as a webbed dome of light stopped her from slamming into a sharp edge, but she still sprawled onto her side with a squeal of pain as she landed. And whichever color Camille this was, she didn’t waste any time lunging forward with precise footwork to finish the job.
Whoever had put her here had taken her armor, but she still moved like a fighter, grabbing the solid odd colored metal door to her cell and whipping it at James as he moved to intercept her. He got his own bracer set to door just in time to stop it dead, but when the light faded, she was in his face and swinging a fist hard enough to shatter bones. He didn’t bother blocking, instead using the tip of the blade and as much strength as he could put into his arms to try to punch a hole in her wrist and send the blow off course. He got half of that done; her skin just didn’t yield to the blow.
”Get the kids out!” He shouted as the panicked group behind him started to cry and yell. The momentary distraction almost got him killed, as this Camille moved faster than James could keep up with, sweeping a leg out from under him with a kick that almost popped his knee out of its socket. He tried to use a charge of Move Person on her, but forgot that Camille’s were somehow able to resist being shifted spatially, and while he teetered backward she slugged him in the chest with an uppercut hard enough that it lifted him off the ground and sent him flying backward.
James landed on the opposite side of the wall his temporary prisoners were sitting against, rotten wood cratering around his back as he felt his bones protest and the stitches in his side rupture. Every molecule of air left his lungs in a wet wheeze as the furious daughter of the Last Line of Defense strode toward him with a furious look on her face.
”I am Camille the Ochre.” She declared. “And you are-”
”Shut up!” One of the girls they’d pulled out of the cells screamed in a voice that was half crying already.
James was over being surprised, mostly because he was pretty sure having a concussion made complex emotions like that too difficult. But he still managed to feel a little bit of confusion as Cam’s mouth kept moving, but no sound came out.
Then one camraconda and a dozen other young wizards nailed her with a look and a dozen different spells, and James entirely lost track of what came from where as Camille slowed to a crawl, sunk two feet into the floor, dropped her left arm like she didn’t have control of it anymore, grew about four feet of hair, started swinging wildly at something invisible around her head, had her clothing shredded away like it was in a blender, got part of her arm stuck to her chest in a way that made it look like she was melting into herself, and then just dropped unconscious and fell forward with a splat that came either from the floor being part quicksand or her body being part gummy bear now.
“Ffffff…“ Momo, crawling on her hands and knees, struggled to stand up behind where the Camille had fallen. “F-fuck yeah!” She coughed out, wiping blood off the corner of her mouth as she did so. “That was awesome! I want all of those!” She declared, trying to give a cocky pose as she slipped the thermite lance she was carrying back into the concealed pocket of her jacket. “Oh shit, James!” She tried to rush over to check on him, and got stuck on the melted floor. “Oh shit, me!”
”Max, get Momo out, then leave with our guests.” James croaked out.
”Are you okay?!” Max demanded, kneeling down to check James. “You’re bleeding!”
”It’s fine, I have an orb for this back at the house.” James sighed, which turned into a pained cough. The injury wouldn’t be enough to stop him. Maybe not even slow him down. Endurance at his level was making him feel maybe a little harder to kill than was healthy, but it wasn’t doing much to make him ignore the pain. “Go. And send someone to the safehouse to pick up Lincon later, okay?”
”Got it.” Max nodded, long hair shifting around his neck. He looked at James for a second, then tilted his head to look behind the paladin. “Ah, fuck man, your…” he tapped his own neck.
James felt behind himself, to where his skulljack braid had been smashed by the impact. “Oh come on, this is even one of the hardened ones.” He tried to complain without his voice hurting. “What message did I miss?” He asked.
Max pulled out his own braid and handed it to James. “Don’t mess with my settings.” He said with a grin. “And I probably don’t have half the programs you do, but… hey, it’s better than nothing, right?”
”No, no. Keep it. I’ve got a phone.” James sighed as he pushed the offered tech away. “Was there something urgent?”
”Yeah, Anesh said you needed to see something. And there’s one of the shield teams actually coming down now.” Max looked uncomfortable. “We’re not going to war, are we?”
”Probably not. Odds are good it’s for these guys.” James said, leaving the fact that ‘these guys’ included a Camille unspoken. “Besides, you’re Recovery, you don’t have to fight a war anyway.”
”I would though!” Max stood back up, offering James a hand to haul him to his feet. “Need a telepad?”
”No, I always carry five of the things at this point.” James had learned his lesson the hard way. “Okay. Get everyone safe. And… then come back for her if they need you too.” He jerked a thumb at the still-living but clearly messed up Camille. “Nate will know what to do. Actually, just call Nate and make him handle it if he isn’t already. He seems like he’s always handling stuff when I’m not looking.”
”Got it.” Behind them, the group of kids were carefully ushered out of the building and into the first daylight some of them had seen in months, blinking and crying at the sensation. Texture-Of-Barkdust brought up the rear, seeming already exasperated with the presence of any human under the age of forty. “Good luck, paladin.”
James nodded slowly, letting his enhancements work their literal magic putting his body back into better working order. ”Thanks. Now stop being dramatic and leave.” He ordered, sending Max and the last few knights on their way with the remainder of the kids as he fell into step beside Momo, the two of them taking the time to zip tie the hands of the guards before leaving them with the partly melted Camille, and walking for the door.
”This was fun.” Momo grunted, rubbing her throat. “We should hang out more. Oh! Should we do something about that Cam? I know you’re into that.”
”…Into… what?” James had burned every erg of his social battery, and didn’t have the brainpower for this.
”Into turning people who can snap you in half into woobies.” Momo said, glancing back into the restaurant. “Hey, Miss Beige! Stop trying to get up, you’ll hurt yourself!” She shook her head as the melting body of Cam struggled to their feet and almost ripped herself in half trying to get out of the quicksand wood floor. “What is wrong with these people? I mean, I know, don’t get me wrong, I know. But…”
James shook his head and partly dragged Momo out of the restaurant. “Ochre is a yellow color, first of all. But also… just let her do her thing. I doubt she’s gonna listen, and she’s dangerous to be around, so let Nate and everyone else handle it. You okay?” He asked.
”No.” Momo said with a breaking cheerful smile. A quick glance showed James that she was actually crying, silent tears leaking out of her eyes as they walked. “Nope. Not really. That hurt, and also I’m panicking at how often we fight stuff like that and never find out how hard they can hit and I’m sorta wondering how long until I die in a dungeon fight. And my throat hurts now, too! But if I keep talking, then it can’t catch up to me, and I’ll be fine. Some of my totems worked on both those assholes, by the way; the pillar has two birthdays somehow, and Camille was born two years ago. In case you wanted to know even more concerning information. So hey!” She said, clapping her hands as they emerged into normal daylight and the sound of passing cars and a bus full of ten year olds getting treated to ice cream after what James assumed was a baseball game. “What’s next on the agenda? Cause you also look like hell, and I bet you wanna do something stupid about it!” Momo elbowed James in the side, mercifully the one that didn’t have a reopened stab wound in it.
”Please be careful.” He said, gently maneuvering her elbow away from his person. “And I need to make a phone call.”
If his life had ever been surreal, it was in this moment. Standing in front of a building that wanted you to forget about it, where he’d just talked to some kind of weird and dangerous magical avatar of bad metaphors and cruelty, and broken twenty mostly human kids out of church jail, just making a phone call to his boyfriend in broad daylight.
The phone rang exactly once before Anesh answered. “Good afternoon, you nonce.” He opened with.
”I love you too?”
Anesh sounded displeased as he replied, and James couldn’t even blame a bad connection on mishearing. “We’re going to talk later.” He said, forcing his voice to stay even. “About why you think it’s okay to send me away while you go try to throw your life away. But right now, I could use your help.”
”In my defense, I didn’t want you-“
”James.” Anesh sounded put out, but with a tinge of amusement. Just a tinge, though. “Later. Lincon showed us the dungeon. And…” he trailed off.
James sighed and looked over at Momo. “Is the problem time sensitive?” He asked with the gnawing sense that he already knew the answer.
”Of course it is.” Anesh said, before admitting, “It actually may not be a problem, exactly. Um… depending.”
”Anesh, I’m reminding you that I actually do love you. But also it feels like we’re both getting practice at irritating each other today.” James said it with a playful smile, and was gratified to hear Anesh chuckle on the other end of the call.
His boyfriend took a second before replying. “Alright. They’re sending people in.” He paused before clarifying, not waiting for James to explain that this sentence was wholly unhelpful. “There’s a group of people here,” Ah, that was why Anesh was speaking so softly, “they have, oh, about two hundred normal people? And they’re sending them into the dungeon in groups. With guards.”
”Ah.” James said, rubbing his face. “Oh. I see.” This was the other side of things. Probably. The side he’d just agreed not to interfere with. Of course, he’d break that promise in a heartbeat if there was something nefarious going on. “What’s up with the people, how does it all look?”
”Well I’m hardly staring at them.” Anesh hissed in a hushed voice. “But they seem… half asleep?”
”Great.” James sighed. “Momo and I are on the way. I just need to pick something up from the house first. Message me a telepad address.”
He hung up, and sighed, just in time to see Momo’s face slowly inching up in his field of vision as she crept up on him. “Sooooooo?” She asked. “Something stuuuuupid?”
”If we survive this, I’m gonna personally escort you to your therapist appointments.” James grumbled at her.
”Hah! As if mere therapy could solve the complex web of bullshit that is me!” Momo cocked an arm out, hand on the undamaged part of her hip, grinning wildly. “But seriously, what’re we off to next?”
James stared at her with something between worry and creeping dread, before shaking his head. This would have to be tomorrow’s problem. Right now, Anesh needed him for something. ”Magic medical attention, then dungeon.” He told her, and got a fist pump in response. “But don’t look so smug about it.”
He added the last part mostly because he was jealous that he didn’t get to look smug about it. But despite the injuries, the fatigue, the lack of sleep, the existential threats and the present danger…
There wasn’t really a time when James felt more thrumming excitement in his chest than when he was walking toward the door of a brand new dungeon.
Well, brand new to him. But he was definitely sending Lincon away before they went in, just for safety.
And so he didn’t get any surprises ruined.