For the first time since [Resolution] came out, Luke wasn’t playing the game. He was sitting in a large Victorian chair with his feet propped up on the Victorian desk, a lit cigar in his mouth. Gray smoke drifted up from the corners of his mouth and nose as he used his finger to swipe through projection after projection, screen after hovering screen. His eyes merely glanced at the contents of the screen, but he digested its contents fully before swiping to the next one. In the background, a radio was playing.
“Have you heard the news? It’s huge!”
“Are you talking about the kraken, Natasha?”
“No! The kraken’s insignificant compared to this. And we’re a channel devoted to gaming and [Resolution], Sam. Why is it Sam again? Someone take him away.”
“Ha-ha, don’t joke around like that, Natasha, security will take you seriously.”
“I’m serious.”
Sam cleared his throat. “You must be referring to the quest given by the gods, no? I’m actually one of the best people you can get on this show because I’ve personally received the quest.”
“Over half the population’s received the quest. You’re not special, Sam.”
“Natasha…, you’re breaking my heart.”
“Good.”
“H-have you received the quest?”
“I haven’t. If you wish to remain seated, you’d better project that quest information in front of me, right now.”
“Yes, yes. Right away.”
“I’m sure many of our listeners have already seen the contents of this quest whether in game or from a forum post, but for those of you out of the loop, here we are! The quest is a simple one. Destroy the empire I Can Pick! Over—”
“Only the special and unique believers can receive the quest! A guild must have a champion related to the god of birds like mine. Ow!”
“The next time you interrupt me with wrong information, I’ll rip your eyes out.”
“You’re making an awfully scary face there, Natasha. Is it that time of the month?”
“Get out.”
“She’s been possessed by some title effect of an evil god! Someone get her off me! Murder! Arson! Help!”
“Cut to the commercials!”
Luke frowned as he turned off the radio with a flick of his wrist, still reading through the forum posts. Apparently every guild worshipping a god that had a domain above ground had declared war on I Can Pick. The guilds worshipping the gods below ground like Fiel, the goddess of reincarnation, and Rathe, the god of earth, remained neutral. And the guilds without any champions of the gods…, those weren’t even worth mentioning. They’d be consumed within a week as the countries starting rushing for expansion.
Luke turned off the projections and leaned back in his seat, inhaling through his cigar. It shrank down to its butt in a single breath, leaving a long line of ash which he tapped onto the floor. Smoke drifted out of his nose, spiraling up towards the ceiling. A faint smile danced on his lips as he tilted his head to glance at the VR drive resting in the corner of his room. Once again, it was him against the world. But this time, there was no hero to stop him.
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Luke stood up and spat aside the cigar butt, reaching for the metal helmet. His hand hesitated as his brow furrowed, glancing towards the door. Should he feed Fufu now that he had some time? Nah…, it’d be fine. Fufu lived without eating for thousands of years while Khrx slept, there shouldn’t be an issue.
***
“…So why are you here?”
“When three crazy women are chasing you, you hide in the place they least expect!”
A kraken and a beastkin child stared at each other, sitting on the bottom of the ocean floor. Volcanic vents let out faint orange and red lights, barely enough to illuminate the surroundings. Not like it mattered to either of the beings though—they could both see in the dark. The kraken was a giant octopus, its tentacles buried into the ground beneath it. Currently, it looked like a massive boulder. If it wanted to, its tentacles could pull a boat down from the surface of the ocean without having to move its head at all, but it didn’t do that because there was the existence known as the hero’s descendant. Unfortunately for the kraken, one of the crazy women chasing Khrx just happened to be that very descendent. If it knew, it wouldn’t be conversing with him. Of course, the only reason the kraken was conversing with Khrx in the first place was because of the massive bruise on its head. Khrx thought it was an ordinary boulder and decided to dig out a cave to inside of. He didn’t expect the stone to be so springy. He didn’t expect it to scream either. But once it screamed, he did expect it to run away, so he stopped it by force. And thus, the current situation arose.
“Three women that could cause the dragon of calamity to flee. Don’t tell me they’re all descendants of the hero.”
“No, just one of them,” Khrx said, speaking in the language of octopuses which consisted of clacking and clicking sounds.
“Wait. You’re serious.” The kraken’s tentacles sprung out of the ground. With a single motion, the tentacles pushed its body away at breakneck speeds. “Goodbye.”
“Wait, damn you! I’m not done talking, Mr. Bubbles!”
“Don’t chase me! I don’t want to die! I saw what happened to Sneksnek that fateful day! And don’t call me Mr. Bubbles!”
“It’s a good name! Sneksnek approved!”
“That’s because he didn’t want to suffer with a stupid name alone!”
“Mr. Bubbles, if you don’t halt for me this instant, I’m going to eat your children!”
“I’m a virgin.”
“Wait. Really? It’s been millions of years since I’ve known you, Mr. Bubbles.”
The kraken sighed as it slowed down, once again tunneling its tentacles into the ground. “Right. Look at how long my tentacles are. Which male would dare mate with me?”
“Male? Can two male octopuses even mate?”
“I’m a female!”
“…But I’ve been calling you Mr. Bubbles ever since I’ve known you. Emphasize on the mister.”
“I know.”
“…”
“You never listen, so I didn’t bother correcting you.” The kraken sighed again. “Female krakens are known for eating their mates. A male kraken would only dare to mate with a female if it had longer arms; otherwise, it’d be eaten. Such is my dilemma. Tragic, isn’t it? All I want is to be loved, but all I receive is fear instead.”
Khrx’s mouth fell open, a giant air bubble slowing rising up. “That’s…, that’s exactly like my situation!”
“Well, yeah. The world ends when you find true love. You have it even worse than me. Are you still delusional and parading around that—”
“I’m not delusional! Don’t insult Fufu!”
“So you are.”
Khrx snorted. “Alright. Listen up. I’ll help you find love. Let me smack your face.”
“…Huh?”
Pah!
“The hell!?” The kraken touched its face where Khrx had smacked it. And then she rapidly began to shrink. “You, you stole my essence!”
Khrx shrugged. “You wanted to be smaller, right?”
“Give it back!” The kraken continued to shrink until she was the size of Khrx’s head. “I can’t mate at all like this! Any wimpy old shark can eat me! You stupid dragon! Look at what you’ve done!”
“I’ve done you a favor,” Khrx said, a smug look on his face. He swam towards the surface of the ocean, near the coast of an island. He made a wild dash towards shore, kicking up huge waves with his feet. He looked behind himself, and his eyes widened at Mr. Bubbles chasing after him while transforming into an elven woman. “Dude. What’re you doing?”
“Give me back my essence!” the kraken-turned-elven-woman roared.
Khrx continued to sprint towards shore, running along the surface of the water. “Didn’t you say you’d never turn into another creature unless your life was majorly at risk?”
“Yes!”
“Someone’s trying to kill you?”
“Give me back my essence, you stupid lizard!”