“Done!” Lorin stepped out of the lake and tossed a skeletal carcass onto the ground. It really did look like a cow.

[Quest complete!]

[Congratulations on completing an easy quest. Are you proud?]

[Rewards: Water Spirit’s Recovery]

“Good job,” Khrx said. He read the description of his newly gained skill while Lorin put on her clothes.

[Skill acquired: Water Spirit’s Recovery]

[Rarity: Common]

[Passive: Natural recovery increases by 1%.]

Khrx frowned. “Common?”

“What’s wrong?” Lorin asked as she toweled off her hair with a layer of mana. She glanced at the carcass. “Was that not it?”

“No, that was it,” Khrx said as he stood up. He placed his hands on his hips and glared at the silent water spirit. “What are you trying to pull? Why is the recovery so low?”

The water spirit whimpered. “Is, is that not satisfactory?”

“No! Bongle told me I’d get a 10% recovery skill. Why is this only 1%?”

“That’s…, I can’t,” the water spirit said. “Not unless you accomplish a difficult quest.”

Khrx snorted. “Then why’d you give me such an easy quest? Give me a harder one.”

The water spirit sighed. “I can only give two quests per month.”

“Okay. Then give me the second one,” Khrx said. “Look at my adorable face and try to refuse.”

“I, I already gave you two quests….”

“Hmm?” Khrx tilted his head. “Wait. Don’t tell me.” He opened his menu and navigated to his quest log. There were two quests inside: [Exterminate the Barbarians Around Tahens] and [Kill Yourself]. “Gah!” He narrowed his eyes at the water spirit. “What skill will I get for killing myself?”

“Uh, 50% increase in natural recovery, but you’d be dead,” the water spirit said. It lowered its whole body. “I’m sorry! I didn’t think you’d be stronger than me, or I definitely wouldn’t have tried to squish you.”

“That doesn’t sound very sincere,” Lorin said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I sincerely regret provoking you two!”

Khrx clicked his tongue. “Zap him.”

The spirit straightened its back. “W-wait!”

“Chain Lightning.”

And the spirit slumped over again.

“Is there something else you can give me?” Khrx asked. “Anything to improve my stats or a title.” The spirit didn’t respond. “Hello?”

“Did it die?” Lorin asked.

“No. There was no screen announcing its death.” Khrx pouted. “Zap him again.”

“Chain Lightning.”

The spirit screamed as it squirmed. “Why!? Why are you doing this to me!?”

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

[Title acquired: Bully]

[Spirits don’t cry. You made a spirit cry. If you aren’t a bully, then what are you? +1 Strength, -1 Intelligence, -1 Charm.]

“Mm. That’s a bit weak, but still acceptable,” Khrx said. Maybe once his charm decreased to a certain point, he’d be treated like an actual person instead of a talking plush doll. But it’d be a long while to accumulate that much negative charm. He shook his head. Being a plush doll wasn’t too bad either; people gave him free candy.

“If you’re looking for skills and stats,” the spirit said, taking the initiative, “then … there’s another water spirit further south from here. In fact, there’s lots of water spirits, hundreds, thousands even.” The spirit continued when Khrx tilted his head. “The Green Sea. There might even be a water elemental king. His quests are bound to give you a lot!”

Lorin whispered to Khrx, “I think this is a trap.”

Khrx blinked. “Of course it’s a trap. If you fought a water elemental king, could you win?”

Lorin shook her head. “No. It should be classified as a territory owner, what Luke calls raid bosses.”

“What does Luke call you? Mini-boss?”

Lorin shrugged and responded with a straight face, “Maniacal sadistic woman.”

Khrx scratched his head. “And that’s not stronger than a raid boss? Weird.” He turned his gaze back onto the water elemental. “Give me something that’ll make the elemental king feel friendly towards me.”

“If I refuse…, will you zap me?”

Khrx nodded. “You learn fast.”

“I, I can only give it under a certain condition,” the water spirit said. “You have to save me from death.”

“That’s easy. How many more Chain Lightnings do you think it’ll take to kill you?”

The spirit paled. “Please, no.” It whimpered when Khrx glanced at Lorin. “Four. Four more. If I get hit by five, I really will die.”

“Chain Lightning him four times,” Khrx said to Lorin.

Four Chain Lightnings later, the spirit was the size of a water droplet, hovering in the air with salt streaming from its red eyes. “Chain Lightning him again,” Khrx said.

“Chain Lightni—”

Khrx pushed the back of Lorin’s knee, causing her to stumble. “Stop! You can’t just kill a spirit like that!” He turned his head towards the spirit. “Didn’t I just save your life?”

The water spirit sobbed.

[Title acquired: Friend of Spirits]

[You saved a spirit’s life! …You monster. Charm increased by 20 when interacting with spirits.]

[Title acquired: Big Bully]

[Were you not hugged enough by your parents when you were little? +2 Strength, -2 Intelligence, -2 Charm.]

Khrx smiled at his new titles before climbing into Lorin’s arms. “To the south!”

The duo leapt into the air, leaving behind a crying water elemental and a group of awestruck tengu.

***

Luke frowned as an incoming call appeared, blocking his view. His eyes flickered, and the rectangle shrank while lowering. He was on horseback, facing a group of a two hundred men and women. A canyon separated them, connected by a single bridge. His forehead wrinkled as he squinted at them. Their clothes sported a blue circle with a yellow star inside of it. “Thiopeians?”

The group on the other side stared at him, unmoving. The people at the front were holding torches, and the bridge’s surface gleamed with a layer of oil.

Luke shook his head. Lorin’s wanton destruction finally found its way back to the guild, huh? Thiopeia was one of the countries she had destroyed. If it weren’t for the rules preventing them from creating one settlement at the start, it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but Lorin extinguished their chances of victory within a month of the game opening. Luke decided to answer the call that was still ringing in the corner of his vision. “Hello?”

“Lukroix Adveign Desrigard?”

“Who’s this?”

“I am Aric Stone, the president of Regmany.”

“President Stone,” Luke said. “Are you contacting me because of the army standing on the other side of this bridge?”

“Army? Bridge? So they acted faster than I expected. Who was it? The Zarbilians? The Sursians?”

“By asking, you mean to tell me you’re not a part of this plot,” Luke said. “What do you want?”

“My people were cleanly defeated by your fallen angel. It’s impossible for Regmany to win. What are your thoughts on forming an alliance? When you win the game, you’ll propose our wishes to the world congress as well.”

“You want to subordinate yourselves under me,” Luke said. “I’m just a country-less man. You know that, correct?”

“Yes. But you’re also the first to form an empire.”

Luke smiled. “As a show of goodwill, I’ll let you see something fun.” He pressed manipulated through the call interface, opening up a video chat. He turned the screen and gestured towards the men on the other side. “The Thiopeian army. Watch them fall. Hell’s Embrace, for Jax!”

Aric Stone swallowed as screams filled the air. Defeating Luke and seizing his empire, Aric had thought about it. It was a good thing it was only a thought.