Gran was coming!

The thought struck Amelia repeatedly at the most random moments. It made her unbelievably happy, and incredibly anxious at the same time. What would she think of all that Amelia had done? Had she taken good enough care of Bert and the hollows? What would she think all the inhabitants? About the fact that Bert now included Eldertown (and a canal!)? About the opened vault and Donald? About the new bed-and-breakfast-cum-spa?

Speaking of which, they'd booked the place solid for the last few weeks. Marko and Larry, in addition to taking consignments of chocolates, had spread the word a little too well. They'd started receiving guests within days of the pair's departure. Thanks to Bert, it had only been the work of minutes to spruce up the backyard, adding more plants and water features and things. There were rows of sun loungers and cozy shaded nooks where the stables and smithy used to be, and they'd stocked up on plush bathrobes in the bathhouse. Mr. G's mother had taken on a few apprentices, and they were handling the massage sessions without a problem. Miss Annie had taken a sabbatical from teaching her industrial arts classes to do bespoke makeovers. Miss Ashlee had acquired a mixology book, and her repertoire of little umbrella bedecked drinks had taken the entire hollow by storm, not just popular with the clientele. Everybody was pitching in, and the guests seemed happy. They kept coming, anyways, so that was something.

It was all going very well, really, but had just added to her things-to-do list. In addition to her usual caretaker duties, she'd been putting in many hours every day on the 'share the dark' project in the confectionary workspaces. Amelia was the only one who could do one of the critical steps in the process, so each batch required her presence. That was a lot of work, but in addition, she felt obliged to help out with the visitors, chatting and doing any odd jobs that were wanting. She'd been so busy that when Sandy brought the letter from Gran, it had somehow gotten set down and forgotten about for over a week! Gran would be here any day now!

So now she was frantically trying to do all the above work, as well as any little projects and tasks she'd been putting off around the hollow 'for later'. Luckily, she had loads of help, but she felt like she needed to be everywhere at once, which meant more and more things got overlooked or miscommunicated. Lark, Briar, and Constance had finally put their collective feet down. The bird, goblin, and skunk ganged up to force her to allow them to help. Mainly by convincing her to go take a walk in the woods while they organized teams to get everything done. Amelia was a hard worker and tried to be responsible, but she just wasn't an experienced manager or organizer. It certainly showed. So off she was sent with a nice packed lunch and firm instructions not to come back to the cottage area until after nightfall when hopefully most of it would all have been squared away.

She did feel she contributed by taking Whisper, Fern, Shock, and Pancake with her. They'd had several incident-free days, which was unusual, but there was no need to push their luck. She was sure Gran would love all of them as much as she herself did, but it'd go a bit easier if, say, the hollows weren't on fire or several feet underwater when she met them. Not that that was likely to happen, but with those four, she couldn't exactly rule it out. Plus, their antics and escapades tended to distract anyone else trying to actually get work done, so getting them clear was well worth the effort.

That was how the five of them found themselves out on a picnic ramble, while Amelia had to quell the occasional flash of glee and terror as she remembered the upcoming visit. She chewed the hem of her blue cloak as they walked, trying to soothe her anxiety. How could such a happy occasion also cause such a knot in the pit of her stomach?

Gran was coming!

"So where we headed, sweet cheeks? And why'd Her Majesty shoo you off so fast? What'd you do this time?" Pancake somehow got out while chasing Shock at full tilt through the underbrush alongside the trail. The two of them had been doing madcap circles around Amelia as she made her way along one of the rarely used paths towards the back of the Hollows. Fern and Whisper had settled into their usual perches on Amelia's head and shoulder, which was certainly safer than risking getting trampled by their four-legged companions.

"Just, you know, 'out of the way'. And Constance isn't Her Majesty anymore. Uh, well, maybe. I dunno. The Fur Folk mostly gave up on that, but she is sort of their leader still, I guess. Anyways, apparently, I was getting underfoot, or something. I was just trying to get everything perfect for when Gran gets here, is all! Can I help it if I got a bit ..."

"You was more than 'a bit' dere, baby doll. I thought Briar was gonna slip you 'something special', just to keep the rest of us sane, sort of thing. You'd clearly lost it, assuming you ever had it dere, toots."

"Nutter! Nutter!" piped in Fern, nodding in agreement.

"Huh. Thanks for the votes of confidence, you guys! I had it handled! I just ... you know, ..." Amelia fingered the fabric of her sundress, which she'd put on to show she was 'off duty'. It was nice but didn't match the feel of her usual hoodie and jeans. The arm sleeves were cool, though, no matter what Frisket said. She'd fit the packed lunch for her and her ravenous horde in its pockets, and you couldn't even tell! How neat was that?

"Panicked! Panicked! Doolally! Doolally!" The sprite chimed in helpfully, happily kicking her tiny feet and smiling mirthfully.

"Fine. Fine! I might have overstretched myself a little. But Gran is coming! What will she think of all this? Of you guys? What if something goes wrong?"

"Nah, don't worry yourself, honey toes! She's a great old dame, she is. She'll love what you did with the place, no worries there. And once you explain the candy offensive, won't nothing make her happier!"

"You really think so? Gran always liked sweets, but I don't know if she'd approve of magic ones."

"You kiddin', sugar snack? We talkin' about the same Gran, here?"

"Wait! You know her?" Amelia stopped in her tracks, staring at the goat as he tumbled out of a bush ahead of her, nimbly dodging Shock's playful nips.

"'Course we know her, honey bunches o' clueless! She's the dungeon master. How would we not?"

"Friends! Friends!"

Whisper wafted out of Amelia's hair and bobbed and wove a few feet in front of the stunned caretaker's face, flashing greens and blues in agreement, before returning to her perch. Shock even gave one of her silent yips from where she was wriggling on her back in the bush, slobber hurling about as she wallowed in the greenery.

"I just ... you never said ...? But when did you meet her? She hasn't been here in ages! You can't be older than ...you're just so ..." Amelia wailed, flapping her hand in the kid's direction, feeling like this last surprise was just one step too far.

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"Well preserved? Spry? Aging gracefully? Young at heart?"

"Primordial! Primordial"

"Hey now, sister! Dere's no call for that! You ain't so young yourself, you know!"

Fern stuck her tongue out at the goat and blew a raspberry, then made a rather rude gesture that Amelia wasn't able to see since the sprite was perched next to her ear.

Amelia looked in disbelief between the two, then finally pointed towards the puppy luxuriating in her bush. "Shock is just a puppy! She can't have met Gran, surely!"

"Hate to break it to you, toots. But have you looked at that mutt recently? I mean dat special goggle-eyed look you do? That pup can look however she wants. I wouldn't exactly trust the picture on her passport if you know what I'm sayin'. Her kind has a sorta ... casual relationship with time, more or less."

Amelia gaped, then squinted and focused on her beloved cuddle-bug. The air seemed to waver for a moment, then the image of the cute, frolicking pooch was replaced with that of a slightly less cute, frolicking monster. Roughly dog-shaped, but sized somewhere between a wolf and a bear. A very large bear, which perhaps had been extremely well-fed. With steroids. Shock turned her head in Amelia's direction and winked, before returning to her back scratching along the floor of the hollow.

"See what I mean? Now you see why she keeps breaking things? That's a lot of mass, is all I'm sayin'."

Amelia stared at the creature. Even in extra-extra-extra-large form, the dog's tongue still lolled out as she rolled and flopped about. It was definitely Shock.

She turned her true sight towards Pancake, but other than having pure ebony fur and green cat eyes, the goat looked the same.

"I see you puttin' the ol' hairy eyeball my way, sweet stuff! Just remember, dat lets you see what's really there. But you ain't the only one can change reality, sort of thing. So stop lookin' for wrinkles! I moisturize!"

Amelia laughed and relaxed her eyes. Pancake was Pancake, no matter what his true form was. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what that might be. It would make it harder to snuggle in bed with him and Shock, for one thing.

"You said Gran would love the chocolate project. Anything I should know when I tell her about it?"

"'Member how the Fur Folk hate the elves? All that 'Never Again' shtick? Compared to your Gran, they just have a mild dislike, sort of thing. They aren't on her Christmas card list, 's what I'm sayin'. You vaccinatin' everybody against their mind shenanigans will tickle her pink, believe you me! She will love that!"

"Okay. But any idea why? She's always been so kind! I can't see her hating anybody, even them!"

"That baby Onni was lucky, 'cause Quiet snatched 'em back from those geezers. Your Gran, though ... wasn't so lucky." The goat went quiet for a moment, then shook his head and continued. "Raised by 'em to be a servant. Dat Cinderella from the story? She had it easy with her stepfamily. Anyways, long story short sort of thing, Gran played it cool and gained their trust. Took years. Then they needed some poor schmuck to bond with ol' Berty-boy, who was bein' picky. So she got the job."

"The elves made Gran a dungeon master? Bert was on their side?" Amelia reacted with horror. Bert had always been so nice!

"Yup. And nope. Cores are on their own side, like most real people. Mebbe on the side of their bonded one, if they get along. But the previous bonded ones had all been, shall we say, of the 'light' persuasion, so that was the way Bert went. Until Gran. Heh!" Pancake chortled at the memory.

Amelia just stared at the goat, knowing he'd get to the point sooner or later. She'd sat through enough of his classes to know his oratory style. So she folded her hands against her body and gave him her most attentive look as if she was hanging on his every word.

"Ahem. Yeah, I see you doin' the teacher's pet thing. Right. Very long story shorter. Darkness decides it don't wanna play with Light no more. Its champion disagrees, so takes a dirt nap. Dark takes their best toys--by which I include here your boy Donny and the dreadfuls you befriended--and hides 'em, gets Gran and the Bert-meister to set up shop on top of the whole shebang. Badaboom-badabing, latest Dark versus Light kerfuffle done and dusted. Widout dere heavy hitters and champion, dark troops fold like a wet sock and go home. Years pass, little acorns become mighty oaks, sort of thing. Then Light starts messin' about again, and here we are. Viola."

"Uh. Don't you mean 'voilà'?"

"Eh, tomato, potato."

Amelia squinted at him as she thought for a moment. "You talk about Dark and Light as if they're people. That's just, like, anthropomorphism, right? They aren't really people?"

"Ooooh! That's a nice big word, comin' from you. Wrong, but nice. Behave or I'll tell 'em you said that. Heh. But yeah, they're people, if you squint and truly stretch the definition. Won't claim those two have much in the way of personality though, mind you, just between you and me. Your bog-standard unfathomable beings from the beyond, poking the tiniest fraction of their existence into this reality sort of thing. You know."

"You're sounding like Frisket! So you're telling me they're elder things? Great old ones?"

"Nah, not quite like that. Old H.P. shoulda stuck to makin' sauces. But that reminds me, a certain winged squid-head still owes me twenty quid, the chiseler. Anywho, they poked their way in here, messed about for a while, made the cores to spice things up then mostly just found someplace warm and cozy to peace out. 'Cept for those two, who had to stir the pot periodically."

Amelia wasn't sure what to make of this hoary lore dump, but just nodded along. Then her train of thought caught up with the goat's ramblings.

"Wait! Doesn't that make Gran older than Alder? That can't be?" Amelia protested, now thoroughly confused.

"That strains your suspension of disbelief? Really?" The goat raised a furry brow as he plopped his hind end down, scratching a horn nubbin with his front hoof. "So first off, changelings absorb some of the elves' mojo, so they live a long time anyways. But a bonded dungeon master is more or less immortal, sort of thing. From aging, that is. You can still off 'em the normal way, as is tradition. Long as they're still bonded, they don't get older. Thought you knew that there, miss 'collect the whole set' herself."

Amelia trailed after Pancake as the goat started walking into the woods away from the trail. Shock burst from the bush in her usual puppy form to follow them, silent yips of happiness momentarily blotting out the other sounds of the wood.

"You guys just said the only way out of being a dungeon master was to die. I didn't know about the not aging thing. I guess that's cool. I'll have to think about it."

"Yeah, uh, we mighta misled you a bit on the gettin' out of dungeon master duty sort of thing. We didn't lie, exactly. If you voluntarily un-bond yourself, you lose dat immortality, so you will eventually push up the daisies. So really, the only way out is down, if you get my meaning. We just ... sorta mixed correlation and causation, if you will."

"So I can stop any time I want? Go back to being just plain old Amelia? No more bonded one stuff?" Amelia looked suspiciously at the goat, not ready to believe his words.

"Well, sorta. Yeah. Sorta."

"Sort of? Spill it, Pancake! What do you mean, 'sort of'?" She scooped the goat up and held him in front of her face, glaring at him.

"Hey now! Careful with the merchandise, toots! But yeah, you can be done with that whenever. But ..." he hesitated.

"But? C'mon! Tell me!"

"Yes. Tell us, goat. What else are you hiding?" The greasy, smooth voice of Mr. U startled Amelia enough she almost dropped Pancake but managed to pull him close to her chest instead.

While they had wandered off the trail, they had left the hollow. More importantly, they'd left the boundaries of Bert.

Amelia's eyes darted around, taking in the people gathered in the clearing. Mr. Unpronounceable she recognized, his brickable face gloating beneath his homburg. A group of other elves were with him, although none of their suits were quite as natty as his. The final person was unmistakable, despite her mussed hair and rope bindings.

"Gran!" Amelia started to dash towards her but stopped as Mr. U pulled the woman close to him, a finger held threateningly towards her exposed throat.

"Ah ah ah! None of your shenanigans, young lady. One splash of water, and you can say goodbye to gran gran. Bonded one or not, you aren't in Kansas anymore. Welcome to Megrim, we hope you enjoy your stay. It will be for a very long time."