"Huh. Yeah, I agree, that works pretty well! I still think filling 'em with custard would be more fun, though!" Amelia said.
Timon helped Rakish as he climbed out of the pit, water streaming from his wooden form. He had volunteered to demonstrate the newly 'safed' pit traps Bill and his crew had been working on. All the spikes had been removed, then the hole was sealed and filled with water. It was deep enough that a fall into it would be safe, but shallow enough that a human-sized creature could still get its head above the water. For anything smaller, there were ladders inset on all sides, painted with glow-in-the-dark pigments so they could be easily seen.
"I think I got the rest of the honey out this time!" Declared the scarecrow. His voice was odd since the straw-stuffed cloth of his head had gotten waterlogged after the first time into the pit. The paint he'd been covered in earlier had also mostly been washed off.
"Custard would go bad, though. Unless we spend energy on keeping it good, which seems silly. Plus, would you want to eat it after it's had adventurers in it? Who knows where they've been!" Bill replied, handing Rakish a towel.
"Yeah, okay. But still! You fall in a pit, bummer! But custard! Score! Know what'm sayin?"
Bill just nodded. He'd gotten used to some of Amelia's odder ideas. Some were worth doing, and some he just humoured her long enough she forgot he hadn't implemented them.
"We've finished all the pits, finally. There were a bunch of them. Too bad you couldn't get Elara to do it. That took more time than I thought it would." The core was happy to remove the pits altogether, or replace them with something equally as deadly, but was otherwise struggling with the idea of traps that appeared to be lethal, but weren't. Amelia was still working on her, though.
"Yeah. We had that talk a few times. Least she can do the chests and things." That had been a bit easier. Once Amelia explained that anyone marked with the paint would be hunted down by the denizens, the core had willingly replaced the poison gas with the dye, instead. That was how Rakish had gotten coloured, earlier--demonstrating the chest mechanic.
"We left the weakness fields but moved them so they would be safer. They're in areas where people might be tempted to use brute force to bypass obstacles, or where being encumbered would be particularly awkward. There was one wall climb where they were placed halfway up, so you'd suddenly feel twice as heavy as usual. If you fell, it would trigger a spike trap below. Pretty nasty." He shook his head. Hard to believe anyone would willingly subject themselves to places like this for real. As a safe fun house, sure, but with life on the line? It was hard to understand.
"I'm a little teapot short and stout!" sang Rakish, dancing with one arm on his head and the other extended out.
Amelia gaped at the scarecrow, wondering what had gotten into him.
"Ah, yeah. Mind control field. They used to make you try to kill your friends. We thought this was safer. Funnier, too!" Bill grinned as the wooden mannikin kept singing and dancing to the song.
"Huh. How long does it last?"
"Only a minute or so. The idea is we have a squad stationed to watch this area, and when it gets triggered, they attack. Should put the adventurers at a significant disadvantage, especially if it's their tanks doing the little song 'n dance number." He looked very pleased with the results.
They watched for a while. "Uh, that's way longer than a minute! Did something go wrong?" She asked, concerned. Rakish was still twirling and singing, miming with his arms and getting into the performance.
"I dunno! Never lasted this long before. Maybe it has odd effects on ... people like Rakish?" Bill looked confused. They'd tested on living and undead, but they didn't have any constructs to do testing with. Which was partially why they'd been happy to let the scarecrow wander through the trapped area.
"What? I just like the song! That was fun!" Rakish said when he realized they were all worried.
"You aren't controlled anymore? How long did you feel compelled to do that?" Timon asked, taking notes on his clipboard.
"Oh, I didn't feel compelled. It was more like ... a suggestion. Yeah, like that. But I liked the tune and the moves, so I just went with it. Was that wrong?"
"No no! That's fine. It affects everybody a bit differently. One of the draugr started belting out show tunes, and Timon here was breakdancing, I think." The crocodillian blushed when Bill pointed to him. He'd been pretty good at it, though. Hard to do with a snout and glasses like he had, but the head spin had been very impressive.
"I wonder what I'll do?" Amelia said as she stepped into the area where Rakish had been dancing. Nothing happened. She turned and looked questioningly at Bill.
"Well first off, you're the dungeon master. Of course the traps don't work on you. And second, didn't you say that mind control stuff didn't seem to affect you? Something about 'passive defenses' from Bert or Don or something?"
"Oh, yeah. Right. Forgot about that. Darn! I got good moves, too!" Amelia said, disappointed. She started flailing about in what were probably intended to be graceful dance steps.
"Is ... is she having a seizure?" Timon asked quietly.
"Fine! You just don't appreciate fine art, is all! Hmmph!"
Amelia stopped and scowled at the crocodile man, who hid his face with this clipboard. Then a thought struck her. "Why didn't it do anything to Fern or Whisper?" She asked, craning her neck to look at the sprite on her shoulder. Fern just waved back with one hand, rubbing her honey-distended belly with the other.
Bill shook his head. "You know, I have no idea! It should have. Maybe, I dunno, you have some sort of dungeon master aura or something? Maybe if they weren't with you or touching you?"
Amelia thought about it for a moment, then plucked Whisper off her head. The wisp had cleaned most of the honey off herself, so only a few hairs stuck to the glowing ball of light.
"Whisper? Fern? Wanna try the dance field for me?" She asked softly.
The wisp's glow edged from happy green to a pale blue, but she wobbled slowly through the air over to the area Bill indicated. Nothing happened. Fern groaned softly from her place on Amelia's shoulder, then laboriously flew over next to her playmate. Again, nothing happened.
"Huh. Maybe they don't have enough mind to be controlled?" suggested Timon, focused on writing notes furiously.
The two both started drifting over to the crocodillian, Whisper starting to flash angrily. Amelia deftly plucked them from the air and placed them on their usual spots on her head and shoulder. "Maybe, Timon, they have too much smarts to be controlled? That must be it, right?"
"Ri-right, yeah, that must be it!" He stammered, realizing he'd been rather offensive. He blushed as he pretended to take more notes so he didn't have to meet anyone's glares.
"Ahem. Why don't we move on?" Bill interjected politely.
The group moved further down the corridor until they came to a shimmering doorway. It looked just like the portal from the mine cavern to Alder's glade. Amelia peered at it closely and suddenly saw the teeth that were just barely visible around the periphery of the frame.
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
"What the heck is that? A door with teeth? How can that possibly be safe?" She exclaimed, rounding on Bill.
He threw up his hands, palms out, backing away hastily. "It's okay! Really! We keep 'em well-fed, and we impressed on them they can't chew or swallow! Watch!" He pointed back towards the doorway.
Amelia turned around just in time to see Rakish try to step through the portal. It instantly peeled away from the wall, forming a giant mouth that had been disguised as the door. It gently gripped the scarecrow, its tongue rasping up and down his face, coating it in disgusting slime.
"Ooohooohooo! That tickles!" The scarecrow giggled. "I think it likes me! So cute!"
"Yeah. They lick. We couldn't get 'em to stop doing that. I think it might count as psychological torture, but it shouldn't cause any lasting trauma. We hope."
Timon was taking more notes. Rakish was the first one to giggle at the treatment. The others had mostly screamed or begged for mercy, so that was new.
"So how do we get him out?" Amelia asked after a few moments. The tongue thing was getting a bit obscene.
"Like this! Timon?" Bill said, stepping forwards and grabbing one of the scarecrow's gloves, bracing himself against the wall with a foot and his other hand. The crocodilian let his clipboard hang from a strap around his neck and assumed a similar position. Together they heaved Rakish out without too much effort, making a wet POP! sound as he was pulled free. The mimic spit out the boot that had been pulled off in the process. It then resumed its impersonation of a doorway again.
"That's all the traps, then?" Amelia asked as Rakish struggled to pull his boot back on. It was normally held on by a screw through the sole, which had been stripped out. He ended up having to borrow some twine Timon happened to have handy to tie it back in place.
"Yeah, that's all the types for this area. There's some variations, but that's the gist of it. Want to see our mobs?" Bill replied.
"Sure! Lead on!"
They were calling them mobs, short for 'mobile obstacles', since they weren't really 'inhabitants' anymore. Once they had been convinced they were welcome to keep fighting, even if only 'for practice', all the locals had decided living where they worked wasn't that inviting. It also meant they didn't have to worry about non-combatants, like children and off-duty personnel getting in the way or being bothered. The different groups that would 'work' the dungeon would clock in for their shift, then leave for the amenities of the hollow once done. The fact they had puddings and booze only had a small influence on the decision, it was claimed.
Bill guided them along a few twists and turns to a hidden door, which opened onto the on-duty lounge. Bill pointed out the bells that would warn them when there were adventurers in the dungeon, and what zone they would be in.
"When those ring, they know to gear up and be ready. We have a few set-piece encounters planned, but other than that it's when they feel like it. More challenging for the adventurers that way." He explained.
The click-clack of snooker balls striking each other greeted them as they entered. A raucous cheer went up from the group gathered around the table, placing bets as a ratman stood on one edge, chalking a cue. There was another group clustered around a dart board not too far away, watching a match between a trio of beastmen. Others were relaxing on nearby couches or cushions, chatting or catching some shut-eye. One of the giant spiders was pulling beers from a tap behind the bar. It waved with a free leg as it saw them.
Right inside the door were racks and shelves of equipment, filled with weapons, bits of armor, and other props needed to make the mobs look like they were a natural part of the dungeon environment. Amelia took one of the oversized axes from the rack by the door, then swung it gingerly around. When she accidentally smacked the head against the floor, it bounced.
"How are the LARP weapons working out?" She squeezed the blade, which was a foam core covered in painted latex.
"They work. We couldn't weight them the way we planned to, to make them feel truly realistic. You could still hurt somebody if you hit them hard and they aren't wearing armor. I mean, if you really tried you could still hurt somebody with these, but they're as safe as we can make 'em."
"How's the monitoring system working? Do we need to have Elara watch things, after all?"
"Nope! Works great! Whatever Olavi and Scorper did to those things, it works a treat. Bop somebody in a way that would hurt them, and the 'wound' glows bright red. Very obvious. We'll only need Elara to step in if the, uh, rules, aren't followed. But our guys would never do that, right guys?" He asked, looking over to the monsters watching the interaction.
"Nope!" "Never!" "I'm insulted, sirrah, you besmirch my honor!" "Nuh!" Responded a chorus of voices.
He waved and smirked to show them he was just poking fun. Then he turned to Amelia. "If you want, we were just about to send another test group through. We have most of the kinks out, but it doesn't hurt to be over-prepared. Wanna tail along and watch how they do?"
"Sure!"
Amelia carefully put the axe back in the rack. She noted the emergency first aid box placed right by the door, where it was easy to grab. Briar had helped Bill with those, so not only did it have bandages and instant ice packs, it had real healing potions. And an AED. Just in case. Even though they'd taken great pains to make the place as safe as possible, accidents could happen.
They said goodbye to the waiting troops, then headed to the new entrance complex. The arch the gateway would be placed in was empty since they hadn't opened to the 'outside' world yet. But otherwise, it was all ready. The room was a huge armory and locker room. Entering adventurers would stow any dangerous equipment in one of the lockers, taking safe replacement from the racks and stores available. The exit to the room was a large stone archway. Elara wouldn't let anyone pass if they were carrying anything that would be harmful. Anyone who tried would be blocked on the first attempt, then ejected from the dungeon on a second attempt, forfeiting any equipment they'd stowed. They didn't think they'd have to do that more than once before word got around not to try.
When they arrived there was a handful of people gearing up for the test run. Amelia recognized Pekka, a dwarf, and a faun named Boyden, one of the villagers from Whimsy, but none of the others. They were all wearing various amounts of armor, from just a padded jacket to full plate harness. Bags, pouches, and bits of miscellaneous equipment hung from belts and straps, carefully placed to not interfere with movement.
"What do you do about teeth?" She asked, pointing towards a fox with her chin. The animal had a cunningly fitted helmet on, along with several javelins in a quiver strapped to its back.
"Mrfff grrds, mum." said the fox, mumbling, then baring her teeth. She had a plastic mouth guard on, capping her sharp canines. A jackal-headed beastman showed the guard he was wearing, too, giving a thumbs-up sign.
"I guess that works." Amelia said appreciatively.
"Yeah, they aren't required, but anybody that plans on biting has to wear one. We got Nic to make some flavoring for 'em, so it isn't all bad." pointed out Timon, taking a momentary break from his scribing duties.
"'ines 'int 'avored'" the fox said.
"She said 'mint flavored'." Bill translated.
"'s 'ot I said'" the fox glared at Bill.
There were a few final rattles and snaps as the group checked their equipment one last time, making sure everything was snug and pouches were closed.
"Ready?" queried Timon, standing over near the archway.
A chorus of agreement answered him as the group started edging up towards the dungeon start. The crocodile man made a checkmark on his clipboard, mumbling something to himself as he noted the time using his wristwatch. He unlocked a metal box near the arch with a key from his boiler suit, adjusting something before locking the box again. "Configuration noted..." he muttered to himself as he wrote something down.
"That's the interface with Elara?" Amelia asked Bill. She'd asked the dungeon to make a way for the crew to adjust things, but she had delegated the details to Bill.
"Yep! Timon and a couple of others have it all worked out. Different floor plan, traps, et cetera for every group. We have a few 'standard' ones we've been trying so far, but this will be our first true random one. Should be interesting!"
The crocodillian did one final sweep, surveying the adventurers and referring to his checklist. He gave a thumbs-up. "All good! Head on in! Have fun!"
"Yay! This is sooo cool!" Amelia gushed. She knew they'd been working hard on getting everything both safe and interesting, and she was looking forwards to how it would all go.
"We'll want to stay back a bit. Don't want to crowd them, or get splashed or anything. Also, we'll need to stay well clear if they get in a fight, so they don't get distracted. Wouldn't be fair if we did that."
Amelia nodded in agreement, watching as the group organized itself before passing through the archway. The fox was in front, sniffing for trails or traps. The others trailed behind, with the more heavily armored tanks paired with more mobile partners.
"Is that a giant shotgun?" She asked, pointing to the huge bored but short-barreled gun the jackal-lady had. She had it slung over her shoulder, with a bandolier of gigantic shells over the other shoulder and across her breastplate.
"Grenade launcher. She'll use it for breaching, putting down smoke, that sort of thing. I was talking to 'em about that earlier. Guns aren't very common, I guess. Too finicky when dealing with water, mud, and so on. Plus they make a lot of noise, which isn't a good idea down here. That's one of those old single-shot ones, uses a 'hi-lo' system. Not exactly quiet, but good enough. She's the engineer for the group. That's why she has all the gadgets and gizmos--dealing with obstacles and traps."
The woman they were discussing twitched her ear, obviously able to hear them. She turned and gave a two-fingered salute as they continued slowly forwards.
"Shouldn't she be in front, then? To find the traps?"
"Normally, yeah, but they have Margaux there--the fox. Margaux is a first-rate scout, so she'll sniff 'em out, then let Daphne decide how to deal with 'em. Shhh!" He put a finger to his lips suddenly, pulling Amelia and Rakish to one side. He whispered, "They're about to hit the first encounter! Watch closely!"