There was a pen holder on Professor Rhimari's desk. Just an ordinary, rectangular pen holder, nothing special about it. It didn't even have any decorations apart from the highly figured grain on the cherry-colored wood. But Thenio found himself staring at it with an inexplicable fascination, only half aware of what the professor was saying to him.
"One of the prevailing theories is that chaos affinity is some kind of variant form of null affinity, since there are some similarities between the two. The fact that there are no records of the affinity from before the Great War and the Rift Crisis has even led a few people to suggest that it arose as some kind of interaction that happens between a null affinity and rift miasma, but there's no real evidence to substantiate that. And like I said earlier, there are few enough cases in the first place that it's entirely possible that the records were simply lost during the destruction...."
He was using a lot of words just to say that nobody really knew anything about chaos affinities. They were very rare and very unstable. Children who were born with them didn't live very long. That was about it.
"Naturally, a lot of people have been interested in it through the years. Well, you saw Bauto's reaction...." The professor cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. "Researchers like us are interested just because of the rarity of chaos magic, of course. But the fact that it seems able to shift into other types of magic, like you saw with the affinity tests earlier, opens up a lot of possibilities. There's obviously a lot of potential there, if anyone can figure out how to control it...."
Potential? Sure. Right. That would be a lot more convincing if Professor Rhimari weren't saying it while putting up magic barriers around where Thenio was sitting in order to protect the research lab. Not that Thenio was going to complain—he certainly didn't want to have to pay for any expensive equipment he might accidentally destroy.
That was all the potential he could see in this stupid affinity. Potential for destruction. It seemed to be doing a pretty good job at destroying his life, for starters.
He felt his magic power flare up in response to his angry thoughts, but it disappeared almost immediately. Ariom had pulled his chair close to Thenio's and was sitting with one hand resting lightly on Thenio's shoulder, keeping his magic under control. If not for that, he definitely would have exploded by now, considering his current emotional state.
You couldn’t just tell someone they had the unluckiest magic affinity in existence and were probably going to die within a year or two and expect them to stay calm about it....
Iggy was sitting on the opposite end of the desk from the pen holder, which was one of the reasons Thenio had chosen that particular object to stare at. Hadn't he ended up here because of that dragon? He didn't want to look at him right now, though he could see the thin black tail twitching restlessly out of the corner of his eye.
Bauto had been sent off to find someone or deliver a message or...something. Thenio hadn't really been paying attention. It was probably just an excuse to get the more vulnerable apprentice out of explosion range, anyway.
"There, that should be enough, unless he can output a lot more power than I think he can. And the lab equipment will be the last of our worries, in that case. How are you managing over there?"
"I'm fine. He's not doing so well, but...well, what can you expect under the circumstances?"
"You're sure it wouldn't be better to put suppression bands on him?"
"It would, but if Melea is on her way here, it's better to wait so she can take a look at his magic circuit first. The bands will make it harder to see clearly."
"Sometimes I envy you people and your magesight skills. I've never quite gotten the hang of it...."
It was hard to focus on the conversation. Thenio felt like the words were sliding around him in a blur. Everything felt like a blur, really. He half wondered if this wasn't just some kind of nightmare, and he'd wake up back in his dormitory room any time now.
His thoughts were in a dense enough fog that it took him some time to notice that a petite, elderly woman had entered the room and was standing nearby, looking at him thoughtfully. He finally tore his gaze away from Professor Rhimari's pen holder and blinked dazedly up at her. She had curly white hair and vivid emerald eyes. A life mage? They didn't all have unnaturally bright green eyes like that, but it was a common trend.
"Thenio, this is Melea Nistren," Professor Rhimari said. "She's the head of the necromancy department. She has a lot of experience with treating magic circuit damage, so I asked her to come help us decide what to do from here. We're also contacting the enchanting department and the school administration, of course."
"Wait, why the administration?" Thenio asked.
There was a short silence while Professor Rhimari and Ariom exchanged uncomfortable looks.
"To process your withdrawal from the academy," Professor Nistren said quietly, still inspecting Thenio closely.
"Withdraw—" Thenio broke off, his throat tightening. In truth, he had known this was coming. But hearing the word out loud was horrifying, almost worse than hearing he might not have long to live. His magic spasmed violently, and he felt Ariom grip his shoulder a little tighter as he dispersed the fresh wave. "No...I shouldn't have to withdraw from school altogether, right? I mean, we know what's wrong now. Isn't there...there should be some way to deal with it, right? Like...some kind of special exercises or...something?" He ended with a pleading note in his voice.
"I guess you haven't noticed...." Ariom sighed. "Your magic control probably got a lot worse once you started school here. Is that right?"
"Well...I guess?" It was definitely true, and Thenio had wondered about it a lot. But right now he was reluctant to admit it. "Isn't that just because it's a specialized magic school, so the classes here are more challenging than the ones I had before?"
Ariom shook his head. "No, that's not it. And they shouldn't be that challenging for you, anyway. I asked the head of the enchanting department for information about you after Iggy talked to you the other day. He told me you'd gotten a perfect score on the written portion of the entrance exam. And you're acing all your magic theory classes. You'd probably be the top student in your year if it weren't for your practical scores dragging you down. And from what I saw in the scribing class earlier, your magic skills are actually very good when you can keep your power under control. I'm guessing that you can use basic magic perfectly fine when you're in the right setting."
Thenio didn't say anything. A part of him was eager to hear the rest of Ariom's explanation. But he also had an idea of where it was headed, and he didn't like it at all.
"That's what I'm getting at—the setting. You don't seem to have realized it yet, but you're extremely sensitive to ambient magic. In class earlier, I was watching closely when you were engraving, and for the most part, it wasn't anything you did that caused your magic to go out of control. It was the other students using magic around you. People usually have a sort of barrier around their magic circuit that prevents outside interference, but you don't seem to have that at all. So whenever a wave of magic hits you, it interferes with your magic and throws it out of whack. And beginning magic students leak power all over the place, so this whole school is full of magic waves. It's a horrible environment for someone like you.”
That...made a lot of sense, actually. But Thenio wasn't ready to give up yet.
"But...but...." He frantically tried to come up with some kind of counter argument. "But what are my parents going to say? I've been hearing them talk about how important magic school is for as long as I can remember. They're going to have fits if I drop out. And I have a sponsorship contract!"
"I really think your parents are going to care more about the possibility of you exploding and killing yourself than they do about you having to leave school," Professor Rhimari said dryly. "And it would be unreasonable for anyone to expect you to fulfill a contract under these circumstances. I'm sure your sponsor will understand that."
Thenio wasn't sure about either of those things. But he also wasn't sure how to explain his doubts to anyone who didn't know the people involved.
"Who is your sponsor?" Ariom asked.
"The Perinith Workshop. My parents both work there."
"Ah, that place." Ariom nodded. "I don't think you'll need to worry. Sponsorship contracts are monitored by the relevant wizard guild to ensure fair practices, which should be the Enchanter's Guild in this case. And the guild master of the local branch is a force to be reckoned with, let me tell you. Otker Perinith might be a cunning old weasel, but he's not an idiot. He won't do anything that might get that maniac to come after him. They'll probably just ask you to repay whatever the workshop has spent on you so far. And maybe a termination fee, in the worst case. You're only partway through your first year, so the total amount can't be that much yet."
Thenio highly doubted that a grandmaster enchanter's concept of money was at all similar to his. If the cost of attending the Royal Academy were really that low, he wouldn't have needed a sponsorship in the first place.
"The academy will have to take some of the responsibility for this," Professor Nistren said. She must have finished with whatever examination she had been performing because she was no longer looking at Thenio with the same intense gaze as before. "Not properly identifying your affinity during the routine testing was an understandable mistake, but the school is still at fault for letting things progress this far. You can probably expect a refund of your tuition, at the very least. If it were up to me, the academy would completely reimburse your sponsor and cover all the treatment costs for your magic circuit damage on top of that. But that's something you and your parents will have to work out with the administration office. All I can do is put in a recommendation."
So maybe he wouldn't have to spend his short remaining life in debt. That was something. A very small something.
"And what about after that? I drop out of school and get treatment for the magic circuit problems. Then what am I supposed to do? Just sit around at home for however long I have left to live and do my best to not take any family members with me when I inevitably blow myself up and die?" Thenio didn't even try to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
"Of course not," Professor Nistren said patiently. "We're going to turn you over to the experts. There's an entire military research division dedicated to magic stability. It exists in order to help people like you."
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For some reason, Ariom looked a little uncomfortable at her words. He shifted in his seat but didn't say anything.
"Can they help me?" Thenio glanced at Professor Rhimari. "Didn't you say before that pretty much nobody knows anything about chaos magic?"
"It's hard to say whether they can or not." The professor shrugged. "But like I told you, the chance to study a chaos morph is rare, and a lot of people will be interested. If enough of us put our heads together, it's possible that we'll figure something out."
"But nothing will happen if you don't give them a chance," Professor Nistren added. "I understand why you're upset, but stubbornly refusing to accept the situation isn't going to help you any. And you're not the only one we need to consider in this. The other students will also be at risk if we let you stay here."
That last point was hard to argue against. Thenio lowered his gaze, biting hard at his lower lip.
Professor Nistren sighed. "Now that I've had a look at your magic circuit, I'm going to go contact the Stability Center. Teselin, would you mind coming with me? You understand the affinity itself better than I do. They might have some questions for you. Ariom, are you all right staying and keeping an eye on him a little longer? We can find some suppression bands, if that would help."
"I've got some." Ariom reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of leather straps. They both had a pattern that looked like an enchantment matrix tooled onto them.
"Here, I'll do it." Professor Rhimari stepped forward and took the straps from Ariom. "Just hold out your hands, Thenio. That's it. Have you ever worn suppression bands before?"
Thenio shook his head as he watched the professor wrap one of the bands around his left wrist.
"They're a little uncomfortable, especially at first. But they'll help you keep your magic under control. I won't set the suppression rate too high. And they're not locked, so you'll be able to take them off if they bother you too much."
As the straps were fastened on his wrists, Thenio felt an odd stuffy feeling come over him. It was reminiscent of having a bad cold. He didn't actually feel sick, but his body was suddenly heavy and tired.
"Try to relax. We'll be back soon." Professor Rhimari patted Thenio's arm and then followed Professor Nistren out of the room.
Everything was quiet for a few minutes. Ariom had started rummaging around in his bag for something.
"Why did you tell them?"
"What?" Ariom looked up from the bag.
"The academy!" Thenio burst out angrily. "Why did you have to tell them? They're going to throw me out because of you!"
Ariom blinked a few times. "And what do you think would have happened if I hadn't told them?" He seemed surprised by Thenio's outburst, but not particularly upset. "Do you really think you would have been able to stay in school much longer, the way things were going?"
"I don't know! But maybe. At least I would have had a chance!"
"No. You wouldn't." Ariom's voice was soft but very steady. "The only difference would have been that you would have had to leave school after getting seriously hurt and possibly hurting others. And by that time it might have been too late to help—"
"You don't know that! Nobody knows what would have happened. If I'd just kept trying a little longer...if I'd just worked a little harder...then maybe...maybe...." Thenio's voice shook. He clenched his fists tightly, nails digging into his palms. "What gives you the right to decide for me, anyway? You think you and your weird little dragon can just show up and do whatever you want? You ruined everything!"
He was talking nonsense. He knew that. They'd probably saved his life. He ought to be thanking them, not blaming them. But he couldn't stop the words from spilling out.
"Do you have any idea what's going to happen to me now? My parents have been shoving magic down my throat since before I could walk! They'll never accept me not becoming a real wizard. Never! They practically disowned me when I couldn't pass the entrance exam on the first try." Thenio's breath kept coming faster, and his voice increased in pitch as his throat started to tighten painfully. "They already think I'm not as good as my younger brothers! And if I drop out of school.... If I fail here.... They won't.... I can't...." His words finally choked off.
For a brief moment, his rough breathing was the only noise in the room. Then there was the sound of flapping wings, and a small black dragon landed on Thenio's lap.
His first, angry impulse was to push Iggy away. But before he could act on it, the dragon crouched down and started licking the back of Thenio's clenched fist. His tiny pink tongue felt rather dry and rough, similar to a cat's. Thenio hesitated, then finally let the little dragon be.
"Why is this happening...?" His voice was weak now, not much more than a whisper. "I've worked so hard."
All those months he’d spent studying for the academy entrance exam.
"I've given up so much...."
All those days he’d headed to the magic practice rooms after classes instead of going to play around and make friends with the other students.
"I did everything my parents and teachers told me to."
All those magic control exercises he’d diligently performed, even when he was doubted and belittled because they failed to produce results.
"So why...? How did things turn out like this? It's not fair! It's just...not fair...."
Iggy stood up on his hind legs and put his front paws on Thenio's chest, whining softly, like a worried puppy. Butterfly used to do something similar when she wanted to cuddle, so almost without thinking, Thenio lifted the little dragon into his arms. He was very light and surprisingly warm and soft. It was like holding a leathery bird.
"I agree that it's unfair," Ariom said quietly. "I don't know why things like this happen. It's just how life is sometimes. You work hard for something only to see it snatched away from you. You get obstacles thrown in your way when other people seem to have an easy path. It really is unfair. And I can't tell you why. I'm sorry. I wish I could."
There was a moment of silence.
"But I can tell you this much," Ariom went on. "It's been about sixty years since the last chaos morph died. A lot can change in sixty years. The Kafron military is deeply invested into stabilization research, since combat wizards are at a higher risk of destabilizing than any other profession. Since my— Well...since I have some family history of destabilization, I've kept up on the recent developments. There's been a lot of progress just in the past decade. I can't guarantee that it's enough for them to be able to help you. But there's definitely still a chance. It's too early for you to give up completely."
Thenio didn't say anything.
Neither did Iggy. But maybe he wanted to echo his partner's hopeful sentiment, because he reached up and carefully licked away all the tears on Thenio's face.
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As much as Ariom disliked the military, he had to admit that they were good at what they did. The stabilization team arrived within half an hour and went straight to work when they got there. Two of them joined Melea in examining Thenio, one followed Teselin over to the enchanting building to meet with the department head, and the last one spoke quietly to Ariom, asking a series of questions about his observations of Thenio and making detailed notes.
The magic suppression bands were finally doing their job, and Thenio was sitting quietly, his eyes drooping. He looked like he was falling asleep, but he was still responding when someone spoke to him and occasionally stroking Iggy, who was curled up on his lap.
Ariom had finished being interviewed and was standing off to the side watching the progress of Thenio's examination when Teselin returned.
"They're contacting his parents," he said in a low voice, coming over to stand next to Ariom. "They'll process the withdrawal paperwork and negotiate a settlement with them whenever they're able to come to campus." He looked over at Thenio. "Have they decided where he's going from here?"
"They're going to take him to the Stability Center for now, so they can keep him under control until he gets over the shock. They also want to do some additional tests. They'll decide on a long-term plan once they can meet with his parents, but it sounds like they want to focus on letting his magic circuit heal up before they try to develop any kind of management program for him. His power level is still fairly low, so they'll probably just keep suppression bands on him and send him home to rest for a few weeks."
Of course, from the way Thenio had been talking about his parents, staying at home might not be that restful for him. But Ariom didn't actually know anything about the boy's family. It was possible that Thenio was just panicking and exaggerating the situation. And if he was sedated enough, his surroundings wouldn't really matter anyway.
Ariom glanced back at his old professor. "I'm sorry for getting you caught up in this."
Teselin raised an eyebrow at him. "It's all right, you know? You can admit that you pulled me into it because you didn't know how to deal with it yourself."
Ariom narrowed his eyes and then turned away in annoyance. "...fine. I'll admit it."
"You really haven't changed, Ariom." Teselin shook his head and gave a wry smile. "You've gotten pretty good with the hotshot grandmaster act, but that awkward boy who used to sit in the corner by himself because he didn't know how to talk to his classmates still shows through sometimes." He looked over at the little dragon sitting on Thenio's lap. "Actually, I'll take that back. You have changed some. If this had happened a few years ago, you might have tipped me off about the possible chaos affinity, but you probably wouldn't have gotten involved yourself. I think having Iggy around has been good for you."
Ariom made a noncommittal grunt.
"And I don't really mind getting involved with this. Even if he's not in my department, taking care of a student is my responsibility as an academy professor. You're the one who shouldn't have had to get involved. The admissions office and enchanting department really should have caught this and sent Thenio over to us for testing a long time ago."
"At least someone here still understands that much. A certain first-year scribing teacher ought to lose her job over this, if you ask me. Though I guess that's up to her department head. I certainly won't be putting in a good word for her when I talk to him about this, though."
"Fair enough. It's true that this whole thing could have turned out a lot worse. We're lucky Thenio happened to meet Iggy when he did."
They both fell silent, simply watching the proceedings for a while. After a few minutes, Ariom saw Melea bend down and speak to Iggy, who nodded and stood up in response. He said something to Thenio, but someone had increased the suppression on his magic, and he didn't seem to be very aware of anything at this point. Melea picked Iggy up and carried him over to Ariom.
"They're going to move him now," she said, handing the dragon over. "I think you're free to go if you want to, Ariom. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Things probably would have ended much more tragically if you hadn't stepped in."
"Thenio will be okay, right?" Iggy asked with concern, looking between Ariom and Melea. "They'll be able to keep his magic from getting scared, right?"
"That's right." Ariom patted the little dragon reassuringly. "Those people are experts on magic stability. They'll take good care of Thenio. He'll be just fine."
It was more optimism than he really felt, of course. But Iggy didn't need to know that.
On his way out of the lab, Ariom paused and looked back. He caught sight of Thenio's face. Slack-jawed. Eyes cloudy and unfocused. It was the expression of a person under the influence of high-level suppression bands. It had been years since he'd seen it last, but it wasn't the sort of thing you could forget. Especially when that was how someone looked the last time you ever saw them alive.
Was this the last time he'd see this boy? It might be.
Perhaps sensing his gloomy thoughts, Iggy whimpered and nudged Ariom's cheek with his nose.
"It's okay. This just made me remember something unpleasant." Ariom rubbed the little dragon's head. "Let's go home. The school and the military will take care of him now. We've already done everything we can." He wasn't sure which one of them he was trying to convince.
Ariom looked at Thenio one last time. Then he turned and left the room.