Thenio sat in a chair on the atrium balcony, watching Iggy and Amisi rolling a ball back and forth to each other. He'd been playing with them earlier, but he was tired now. The revelation that his dream magic had the potential to cause more accidents like the one this afternoon had been quite upsetting, so Ariom had decided to turn Thenio's magic suppression bands on for the rest of the day to help him stay calm and keep his magic under control.
The practice session with Namyis had ended a few hours ago. With all the distractions, they'd only had enough time to work on one more of the enchanted dummies, this time with Mideis using telepathy to record the magic formations as they went. But since things had gone well with the first two practice dolls, everyone felt like the afternoon was reasonably productive.
Everyone but Thenio, anyway....
Ariom and Mideis both agreed that they needed to have a good, long talk about the things they'd learned from Eteon and Ki'shiu, so Mideis had left Amisi there to play with Iggy and Thenio while he took Namyis home. Now that she knew where Ariom's house was, she was planning to come separately for future practices, to spare poor Amisi from being stuck in a carriage with her ice magic again.
The five of them all had dinner together after Mideis got back. Then Amisi and Iggy were given the job of keeping an eye on Thenio, while Ariom and Mideis shut themselves in the workroom.
They were apologetic about not including Thenio in their discussion, but after the warning from Ki'shiu, he could understand why they wanted to talk without him.
He understood...but that didn't really make him feel any better. Neither did the fact that drawing in his sketchbook was temporarily off-limits, since that was his usual method of calming down and sorting out his thoughts and feelings.
He didn't even dare to look at any magic beast encyclopedias with the familiars. He didn't think he'd turn himself into a gryphon just from reading about them. But after this afternoon, he couldn't help but worry a little....
So he simply sat there and watched the two of them playing, doing his best to ignore the occasional concerned glances they were both giving him.
After a while, Amisi caught the ball in her paws instead of batting it back toward Iggy. "Let's stop for a few minutes. I want to talk to Thenio about something."
"Mmm. Okay," Iggy said, nodding agreeably.
Amisi padded over and jumped up onto Thenio's lap. Iggy followed her, flying up to perch on the arm of the chair.
"What did you want to talk about?" Thenio asked, lifting a hand to scratch Iggy's ears.
"About you." Amisi sat down on his leg and looked up at him with her unblinking orange eyes. "You're worried about what Mideis and Ariom are discussing?"
"Well...yeah. Among other things. I mean, why shouldn't I be worried, after everything that's happened today?" Thenio sighed and glanced in the direction of the workroom. "Have you been listening in through Mideis? So you know what they're talking about?"
Amisi nodded.
"What about the message that Mideis got from that token? Did you hear the whole thing?"
"Yes."
Thenio bit his lip. "Mideis was hiding something when he told us about it earlier, wasn't he? He said there were parts that only a mental mage would understand...but wasn't it really just that he didn't want to tell us?"
"It was some of both. There were things that would be difficult to explain. But there were also things that he couldn't say in front of you and Namyis."
"He can tell Ariom, though?"
"Yes. The message said he could tell Ariom everything. Because Ki'shiu is hoping that Ariom will find a way to help you. A new way that no one else has thought to try yet."
"They seem to have a pretty high opinion of him...."
"That's because Ariom is amazing!" Iggy puffed out his chest and swished his tail.
"Right. He's really amazing," Thenio said with a wry smile, patting the little dragon. Then he looked back at Amisi. "So Ariom is allowed to know everything, but I'm not...because it's dangerous?"
"Right," Amisi said, nodding. "That's really how it is, you know? It must be frustrating for you. But they really are just trying to protect you. I haven't met Eteon or Ki'shiu yet, so I can't say for sure about them, but that's probably the reason they've been hiding things from you, too. Mythic beasts are powerful enough that I don't think they need to deceive or manipulate people to get what they want."
Thenio stared at her for a moment, then he looked away. "Not powerful enough to know how to help me, though...."
"Didn't Eteon say that dream magic can only access knowledge that already exists? So they don't know how to control chaos magic because no one's ever found a way before?"
"Right. He said that." Thenio's brow furrowed. "But he's also the one who taught me to use dream magic, which apparently made the problem even worse...."
"And the message he sent you said he didn't expect something like your reaction to Namyis' magic to happen so soon. Dream magic didn't cause you problems before now, did it? Maybe it has something to do with all the practicing you've been doing lately. Magic accidents can sometimes be a good thing, in a way, because they're a sign that your skills are improving unexpectedly fast."
Thenio didn't reply. He was still staring out across the atrium.
Amisi stood up on her hind legs, putting one front paw on Thenio's shoulder and using the other to lightly pat his cheek. "Are you scared? Scared of dream magic?"
"I could have killed myself this afternoon," Thenio said bitterly. "If Iggy hadn't noticed that my magic was changing...and if Ariom hadn't rushed over and helped me...I might have frozen myself to death without even realizing what was happening. Why wouldn't I be scared, after something like that?"
"You're not alone, remember? There are lots of us trying to help you. Even Ki'shiu said he would come give you lessons on dream magic, didn't he? Maybe you can learn to control it well enough that it won't be a threat anymore. And if you do...it seems really powerful, doesn't it? Maybe you'll be able to do some amazing things."
Thenio finally turned his head and met Amisi's gaze again. "I think being able to control something like that scares me almost as much as not being able to control it does," he admitted quietly.
She blinked once and then tilted her head. "You're afraid of being powerful?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe? I've always thought I wanted to be a powerful wizard. I used to daydream about being a demon hunter or an amazing potion maker or a high-ranking enchanter like Ariom. But it was always...normal kinds of powerful. You know? The idea of having some crazy magic that humans aren't supposed to be able to use...I'm not sure about that." Thenio paused, trying to find the words to express how he felt. "It's like...I wanted to stand out and do something impressive. But I wanted to fit in and be like everyone else at the same time. Does that make sense?"
"It does. But that's not really how being a powerful wizard works, you know? The stronger you are, the more separate you feel from normal people. Namyis was talking about high-rankers preferring to be around other high-rankers, right? That's not just because of the ranking effect. It's because normal people don't understand what it feels like to be able to freeze someone in an instant. Or wipe out a whole town with a huge ball of fire. Or force memories out of someone's mind." Amisi patted Thenio's cheek again. "But that doesn't mean powerful people can't fit in at all. Most of them eventually find a place to belong, even if it's not where they originally thought they wanted to be."
"Thenio has a place to fit!" Iggy jumped onto Thenio's shoulder and imitated Amisi by patting his cheek with a tiny black paw. "Thenio is our friend, so you can belong with us, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay." Thenio smiled and gave both familiars a grateful pat.
But privately he doubted that it would really be that easy....
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Thenio dreamt about the usual misty forest that night.
In the dream, he was walking through the trees, trying to find his way out. But no matter how far he went, there was nothing but more trees and more fog. The only thing that changed was the overcast sky gradually growing darker and Thenio gradually becoming more anxious and quickening his pace.
He eventually broke into a run, and as he did, snowflakes started to fall. He kept running, as first the treetops and the narrow path ahead of him, then the lower branches and the rest of the forest floor, all became lightly dusted with snow. Then it turned into a thin coat. Then gradually thicker and thicker, until it was up to his ankles. The snow started catching at his feet and making him stumble.
But that only increased his sense of panic, and he ran faster.
The forest was completely still, with no wind and no signs of life. The only sounds were the light rustling of the falling snowflakes, the crunch of the snow under Thenio's feet, and his heavy breathing.
The snow was halfway to his knees when he finally stopped and bent over, gasping for air, fists clenched with frustration.
Why? He was trying so hard! He'd come so far! Why couldn't he find the way out?
When Thenio had caught his breath a little, he raised his head and looked around him. He'd come to a stop in the middle of a small clearing. There were paths leading off into the trees in all directions, and now that he was looking properly, he could see footprints—hundreds of footprints—going down each path. Some were fresh. Some were almost snowed in.
Thenio's eyes widened in horror as he realized what he was seeing.
Those were his footprints. He'd already passed through this place dozens of times before.
He'd just been running in circles...all this time....
He was never going to find the way out....
His legs lost their strength, and he fell to his knees in the thickening snow. There was nothing he could do. It was impossible. There was no point trying any longer.
Thenio wasn't sure how long he sat there, staring numbly at the trees in front of him.
But finally, he became aware of the sound of approaching footsteps, crunching softly through the fresh snow. He turned his head, and as expected, he saw Ki'shiu coming toward him.
The dream beast came to a halt next to Thenio. He stretched out one of his wings and started gently brushing the snow off of Thenio's head and arms with the tips of his feathers. Then he held the wing up to block the snow that was still steadily falling.
Thenio looked up at the huge wing stretched protectively over his head. Then he looked down at the white ground. "You could just make the snow disappear, couldn't you?"
I could. But this is your dream world, not mine. I have to be careful about interfering with it.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
"Because it's dangerous for me to be exposed to too much of your magic?"
That's right. That's part of why I didn't visit you last night. You'd already had enough dream magic for one day. Though I also...had another appointment.
Thenio gritted his teeth. "Why did you even let Eteon teach me to use dream magic, if it was going to be this dangerous? You heard what happened to me this afternoon, didn't you?"
Yes.
"It was dream magic that almost made me freeze myself to death, wasn't it? And Mideis said that using dream magic makes knowledge dangerous for me. Doesn't that mean the same thing could happen again anytime when I learn something I shouldn't?" Thenio glared up at Ki'shiu. "You said you were trying to help me! So why have you and Eteon just been giving me more ways to kill myself?"
He knew he was speaking to a mythic beast, and he ought to be polite, but he couldn't keep the resentment out of his voice.
And what did it really matter? His own stupid magic was going to kill him before long, anyway. So what difference would it make if he made Ki'shiu angry?
"I'm so sick of this! Everywhere I look, I find more ways that my magic has been ruining my life. My family doesn't like me. I've never had any friends. I've gotten so many magic burns, and I got kicked out of school. I'll never be able to get a wizard certification or have a familiar. I've been causing trouble for my parents and Lem and Ariom and Namyis and everyone else. I could explode and kill myself anytime....
"And now it's dangerous just to learn new things! I can't even draw anymore without worrying about something going wrong! Why did you let that happen? Why—?" Thenio's voice broke as his throat tightened and his eyes stung. "Why did I have to be born with this horrible magic?! I hate chaos magic! I hate it! I don't care if it has some kind of wonderful potential. I just...." He looked down, sniffing and trying to hold back his tears. "I just want to be normal...."
There was a long silence, filled only with Thenio's rough breathing and the soft sound of the snow continuing to fall all around them.
Thenio expected Ki'shiu to get angry...or to leave...or to explain himself...or maybe even to comfort him, like he'd done before.... He expected the dream beast to do something.
But the seconds passed. The snow fell. Thenio's breathing grew a little steadier.
And still, Ki'shiu hadn't moved.
Finally, Thenio raised his head, very slowly and apprehensively, and looked up.
The dream beast was standing perfectly still, his wing still outstretched. There was a layer of snow along his neck and back, blending in with his white mane and making it appear much fuller and longer than usual. There was even snow on his ears and the prongs of his horn. But he didn't seem to notice.
His eyes were only focused on Thenio. And seeing the look of sorrow in them was enough to make Thenio's throat feel painfully tight again.
He swallowed, already starting to regret his outburst. He knew it wasn't fair of him to lash out at Ki'shiu like that, not when he still didn't really understand what was going on, and the dream beast had given every indication that he wanted to help.
Eteon had certainly always been caring and supportive, teaching Thenio all kinds of things and comforting him whenever he was upset.
There was no reason to believe that either of them wanted to hurt him.
It was just...he was so frustrated. So tired of feeling confused and helpless and defective.
He watched the dream beast uneasily, fidgeting a little and wondering if he should try to apologize.
Then something unexpected happened.
Ki'shiu opened his mouth.
"I'm sorry..." he said, very softly. "I'm truly...truly sorry.... I never wanted for things to be this way. I'd change them for you if I could."
Thenio's eyes went wide, and he stopped breathing for a moment.
He'd wondered why the dream beast never spoke out loud. He didn't seem to have a body that would make speech difficult, like Naslunal or Ket'shiu did.
But hearing Ki'shiu's voice, Thenio immediately understood.
His voice itself was a sort of magic. The words were more than just words. Every syllable was filled with power, which seemed to resonate throughout Thenio's entire body.
And they conveyed more than just their meaning. He could feel the intentions and emotions behind the words. The sincerity of Ki'shiu's apology....
...and the terrible heartache that he was feeling right now....
Thenio lowered his gaze, feeling ashamed of himself.
Ki'shiu cared about him. He really, truly cared. He knew the difficulties that Thenio was going through, and he felt terrible that he couldn't do any more to help.
And Thenio had just slapped him in the face....
"I...I'm sorry...." he whispered. "I didn't mean.... I was just upset...and...."
I know.
Ki'shiu shook the snow off his back and then knelt down next to Thenio, still holding a wing over him to protect him from the falling snowflakes.
I know, he said again, gently nuzzling Thenio's hair. You've been through so much...for such a long time.... I know you're frustrated. I know you're scared. I don't blame you for being angry. I just wish I could do more to help you. I wish I could at least explain things to you properly....
Thenio leaned against the dream beast's shoulder, pressing his face into the soft mane. "You know what chaos magic actually is, don't you? Is it really that dangerous just to explain it to me?"
It is. Several of the others died because they learned too much too quickly. I don't intend to keep the truth from you forever. But we have to delay it as long as possible, to give you more time to gain control of your magic first.
Thenio let out a dispirited sigh. Controlling his magic. Everything always came back to that, didn't it...?
They were both quiet for a few minutes. Thenio had a thousand questions he wanted to ask Ki'shiu, but it was discouraging to know that he probably wouldn't get an answer to most of them.
Finally, Ki'shiu shifted and lifted the wing covering Thenio. Raising his head, Thenio could see that the dream beast was looking around them at the snow-covered trees and the many tracks through the clearing.
I'm afraid I can't show you the right path through this forest. I'm not even sure if such a path exists yet. It may be something you have to create on your own. Ki'shiu turned his head to look at Thenio. But I can at least show you a different dream for a little while. Climb on. He nodded toward his back.
Thenio's eyes widened. "On your back? Is that really okay?"
Of course it is. Go ahead.
Thenio got to his feet, brushing the snow off his legs, and looked at Ki'shiu's back. Even with him kneeling down, it was quite high off the ground.
Thenio had done plenty of vaulting as part of his acrobatics practice, so he wasn't worried about being able to hoist himself up. But he didn't have any riding experience, so he wasn't exactly sure where was safe to hold on. Casturi always seemed quite sensitive about having her feathers pulled, so it was probably better to avoid the base of the wings....
After hesitating for a moment, he moved to Ki'shiu's flank and tentatively reached out to put his hands on the middle portion of his back.
But when his hands touched the smooth, indigo-colored hair, he suddenly felt a strong sense of familiarity. Almost before he realized it, he was pushing himself off the ground and swinging one leg up and over the hindquarters, as easily as if he'd done it a thousand times before.
A moment later, he was seated comfortably astride Ki'shiu's broad back, just behind the wings, blinking in confusion.
What had just happened? It was like his muscle memory had just kicked in...but he'd obviously never ridden a dream beast before. He'd never even ridden a hippogryph. So how could he have any kind of muscle memory of the proper way to mount a winged, hooved creature?
While he was still puzzling over that, Ki'shiu rose gracefully to his feet. The sudden increase in height was enough to distract Thenio from his thoughts. He wasn't scared of heights, but the dream beast really was enormous.... He somehow seemed much bigger looking down than he had looking up.
Ki'shiu started trotting lightly across the clearing. As he built up speed, Thenio felt the large body gather underneath him, and once again, he somehow knew what to do. He gripped the dream beast's sides with his legs and leaned forward just before Ki'shiu leapt upward. Thenio heard the huge wings beating the air and felt a rush of wind in his hair and the sting of snow hitting against his face.
Looking down past Ki'shiu's neck, Thenio could see the clearing and the forest falling away beneath them as they soared up toward the grey sky overhead. A moment later, the trees had disappeared into the fog and snow, and they were surrounded by dense clouds.
Thenio held on a little more tightly, gripping the thick fur of Ki'shiu's mane with both hands. But the dream beast didn't seem bothered by the fact that they were flying blind. He climbed steadily higher, and their surroundings gradually grew lighter, until, with a final sweep of Ki'shiu's wings, they broke through the clouds into a brilliant blue sky full of dazzling sunlight.
Ki'shiu stopped rising higher and stretched his wings out to glide along the tops of the clouds. As their flight leveled out, Thenio straightened up and looked around, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open.
It was so beautiful....
An ocean of rolling clouds spread in every direction, glowing white under the warm sun. Ki'shiu flew close enough to them that the cottony wisps on top brushed against his hooves.
The clouds seemed endless at first, but after a few minutes, they started to thin and break apart. Looking down, Thenio could see a patchwork of green fields and trees below them. A river appeared, winding its way through the landscape, the water sparkling here and there in the sunlight.
Once they reached a large break in the clouds, Ki'shiu started gliding downward. They went low enough for Thenio to start picking out individual trees and began following along the river's path.
As Thenio sat and watched the landscape moving by, an odd feeling came over him. There was a sense of wonder and the thrill of flying. But there was also...what? Nostalgia? Longing? He felt like he'd finally come back to the place where he belonged. But there was also the painful understanding that this was only a dream. Just a short-lived illusion.
It was a strange mix of both homecoming and homesickness....
The river eventually fed into a small lake, and Ki'shiu flew down and landed on a grassy ridge overlooking the water. He knelt down to let Thenio slide off his back more easily. Then he stood up and looked out at the lake.
This is a place in the eastern part of Kafron, not far from the city of Merioc. I came tonight to teach you about dream magic, not take you sightseeing, but I don't think having a lesson in a snowstorm would have— He turned back to look at Thenio and suddenly broke off. Thenio?
"Huh?" Thenio blinked in confusion. "Is something wrong?"
Your face....
Not sure why the dream beast was suddenly looking at him with concern, Thenio put a hand up to his face and felt something wet under his fingers.
He had tears streaming down both cheeks.
"Uh...this...." He hurriedly wiped his face with his hands. "I mean...we were flying, right? So the wind...."
He trailed off, looking away and flushing a little. What was he even talking about? This was a dream, and it was obvious that Ki'shiu had made things slightly unrealistic so that Thenio would be more comfortable. He hadn't felt cold above the clouds, even though he should have, and the wind hadn't been stinging his eyes, either.
He knew he wasn't fooling anyone.
"Why do I always have to do embarrassing things when you're around...?" he muttered, annoyed with himself.
Ki'shiu took a step closer and reached out to nuzzle his hair a little. There's no need to feel ashamed. You're still a child. It's all right if you act like one.
Thenio scowled at him. "I'm sixteen!"
They stared at each other silently for a moment. Then Thenio looked away again, his face turning even redder.
Right...mythic beasts lived for thousands of years, didn't they...? All humans probably seemed like children from Ki'shiu's perspective...nevermind sixteen-year-olds....
The air around them shimmered a little, and Thenio knew that the dream beast was laughing.
I'll say it again, Ki'shiu said gently. You're just a child. So it's all right to act like one.
Thenio didn't know what else to say to that.
You really love flying, don't you?
"I.... Yeah...I do...." Thenio hesitated for a moment, but he felt like it was probably all right to be honest with Ki'shiu. "When I was little, I really wanted to be a magic acrobat. I saw some perform once, at a circus my father took me to. And I thought it looked so amazing.... I was really disappointed when I learned about magic affinities and realized I'd never be able to use wind magic."
You can, though?
Thenio looked up. "What?"
Had it not occurred to you yet? If your magic can change to ice attribute, it can also change to wind attribute. If you learn to use dream magic properly, you'll be able to use any attribute. So there's no reason why you wouldn't be able to learn magic acrobatics if you want to.
Thenio stared at him, stunned.
No. It hadn't occurred to him, despite how obvious it seemed now that he thought about it.
Becoming a magic acrobat was impossible. It was silly to even dream about it. Those ideas had become so firmly lodged in his mind that even after learning that chaos morphs had the potential to use any type of magic, he'd somehow never even considered that wind magic would be included in that.
But if that was really true...if learning dream magic would help him control his chaos magic...and if it meant he'd eventually be able to use wind magic and learn to fly on his own....
Maybe chaos and dream magic weren't quite as bad as he'd thought....
Ki'shiu seemed to understand what he was thinking. The air shimmered again as he laughed and bent down to nuzzle Thenio's hair.
Do you feel more motivated now? Then let's start your magic lesson.