When Thenio was nine years old, he learned that his parents were expecting another baby, which meant he was going to have another little brother soon. He had mixed feelings about this news. He got along well with Lem and enjoyed spending time with him, so it wasn't that he minded the idea of having another brother.
The problem was with his parents.
It didn't take long after Lem was born for Thenio to realize that the two of them didn't exactly have equal standing in the family. It wasn't obvious on the surface, of course. Thenio's parents didn't neglect or mistreat him.
It was just...sometimes, Thenio noticed that his parents looked a bit tense when he was near them, as though he made them uncomfortable. They never made that expression when they were interacting with Lem, not even that time he embarrassed them by spilling punch all over the tablecloth at Aunt Suliya's house.
Thenio tried to convince himself that he was imagining it or that it was just because Lem was younger, so it was normal for everyone to favor him a little bit. But he couldn't completely shake the feeling that there must be something wrong with him. Something his parents didn't like. And if that was the case, wouldn't having another sibling for them to compare him to make things even worse?
It wasn't just his parents, either. Maybe it had something to do with being unusually mature for his age, but Thenio had always had a hard time interacting with other children. He was in his fourth year of general school now, and he still didn't really have any friends. He wasn't bullied, exactly, but his classmates usually avoided him, and he'd once overheard a girl telling her friends that she thought he was creepy.
One day in early autumn, Thenio left school and walked the short distance home, moving more quickly than usual. If anyone had asked, he would have said it was because of the dark grey clouds overhead, which were threatening to start raining at any moment. But the real reason was that he'd had a difficult day at school and wanted to get home as soon as possible. Even if home wasn't always completely comfortable, at least no one there made a fuss about getting assigned to sit next to him. And Butterfly would be there. She was usually eager for attention when Thenio got home, and cuddling and playing with her always made him feel better.
He looked around as he entered the house and was slightly disappointed when he didn't see any sign of the cat. She was waiting for him by the door most days. But it was a cool, stormy afternoon. She had probably found a cozy napping spot and didn't want to leave it.
Thenio went to his bedroom to put his school bag away and change out of his uniform. He looked around the room in the spots where Butterfly liked to sleep, like underneath the bed and on the shelf in the closet, but he didn't find her in any of the usual places. That was a little surprising. She did most of her napping in Thenio's room, since it was the best place to avoid four-year-old Lem, who wasn't always as gentle with cats as he ought to be.
He went to the kitchen next to start getting dinner ready. His mother was seven months pregnant now, and she was having some trouble getting around and doing things like housework, so Thenio and his father were both helping out more than usual. For Thenio, that included cooking dinner most nights. He liked to cook. And it made him feel useful, even if he couldn't make anything very difficult yet.
Tonight, he was planning to make a stew, so he was going to get the ingredients ready and put them in a pot to cook while he did his homework. As was his usual habit, he also went to get a serving of cat food out of the ice box, so it would be thawed by the time he needed to feed Butterfly.
That was when he first realized that something was wrong.
The cat food that should have been stacked up on one side of the ice box wasn't there. Thenio stood and blinked at the empty space in confusion. Was Butterfly out of food already? That couldn't be right. He'd made a new batch just a couple of days ago. It should have lasted for the rest of the week. Had his mother moved it somewhere else?
Before he went to find her to ask about the missing food, Thenio checked Butterfly's food and water bowls to make sure she'd at least gotten fed at lunchtime. She had a different colored bowl for each meal of the day to make it easy to tell when she'd been fed last. That had been Thenio's idea, since he didn't entirely trust his mother to remember to feed her while he was at school.
But Butterfly's dishes, which should have been in the kitchen corner, were nowhere to be found. Even the mat that went underneath them was gone.
Thenio stared at the clean, empty corner for a moment. Then he went to look for his mother while trying to push back the uneasy feeling rising inside him.
She and Lem were in the study. Lem was sitting on the floor playing with a set of colored wooden blocks that were painted with letters and numbers, as well as enchanting runes and alchemical attribute symbols. Thenio's parents both thought that studying magic was much more important than playing with toys, so the few toys they did buy their sons were mostly educational ones. Thenio had played with those same blocks when he was younger. He'd been able to recite the entire Kushula runic alphabet by the time he turned three.
Thenio's mother was seated at the desk in the corner of the room, doing some kind of paperwork. She usually worked half days at the same magic workshop where Thenio's father worked, but they were letting her do some work at home for a while, until the baby was old enough to be left with a sitter. She seemed to be concentrating and didn't notice when Thenio came into the room, but Lem jumped up and ran over to him.
"Thenio’s home!" He grabbed his older brother's arm and tried to tug him toward the stack of blocks. "Thenio, come watch. I'm making the most biggest tower ever!"
"In a minute, buddy. I need to ask Mom something." Thenio smiled and ruffled Lem's hair. Then he turned to his mother. "Mom, I can't find Butterfly's food bowls. Do you know where they are?"
She raised her head, looking tired and a bit irritated. "The cat's gone, Thenio. I sent the bowls and everything else along with her."
"Huh? What do you mean she's gone?" Thenio stared at her blankly, not understanding. "Where would she go?"
"We were finally able to get the anti-rodent enchantment installed on the house this morning, so there's no need to keep a cat around anymore. We gave her to one of the other workshop employees."
Thenio stood there, stunned, for several seconds as he tried to process what his mother was saying. "Wait...but...but..." he stammered. "Why would you...? Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you ask me first?"
She sighed impatiently. "Thenio, your baby brother's going to be born in a couple of months. That means three boys to take care of, including a brand new baby. I know you liked the cat, but I just can't deal with taking care of an animal that we don't need on top of everything else."
"You...." Thenio felt a strange, hot sensation growing inside his chest. "You weren't even the one taking care of her! I took care of her!" He was suddenly shouting, his voice filled with a fury that took even him by surprise. "I fixed all her food. I cleaned her litter box. I brushed her. I played with her. I did everything! All this time!" Tears pricked at his eyes. He felt dizzy, like the world was spiraling out of control. That hot feeling inside of him was spiraling along with it. "Butterfly is my cat! She's my best friend! How could you just give her away and not even tell me?!"
Lem was staring at him, his eyes wide. He'd never seen his brother lose his temper and yell like that before.
Their mother also looked taken aback for a moment. Then a deep frown appeared on her face. "Thenio, get ahold of yourself," she scolded him. "What's the matter with you? Getting so upset over an animal."
Thenio could only stare at her, completely lost for words. His clenched fists were trembling with suppressed anger. He felt like a bolt of lightning was writhing around inside of him, about to break loose and go out of control.
"If you have that much energy to fuss over a cat, you ought to be working harder on your magic studies. You only have a few years of general school left. It will fly by before you know it."
What was she even saying...?
"Doing well on your entrance exams and getting into a top-tier magic school is so important. It will affect the whole rest of your life, you know? I think it's a good thing we decided to get rid of that animal. If you're this worked up over it, the cat was obviously going to be a terrible distraction for you."
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What kind of horrible excuse was that?
"I understand that you're upset now, but once you calm down and think it through, you'll see it's for the best. A nice, sanitary enchantment on the house is going to be so much better than that dirty animal. And you'll save so much time and energy not having to feed and clean up after her."
That 'dirty animal' was his very best friend....
Caught up in dismay and anger, it took Thenio a minute or two to notice that something was terribly wrong. Much too late, he realized that the rampaging energy inside him was far more than just rage. This feeling...it was like when he used magic. But it was so much stronger...so much wilder.... He desperately fought to get it back under control, but the normally obedient magic power didn't respond to his efforts at all. If anything, it got even worse as he grew more panicked.
"I think you need to go to your room and settle down for a while, Thenio. Look, you're scaring your brother."
He glanced at Lem, who was still clinging onto his arm and looking up at him with a worried expression.
Thenio suddenly had a horrible premonition.
"Thenio! What—?" Thenio heard his mother's startled exclamation as he shoved his little brother away from him as hard as he could.
At that same moment, the raging power inside of him finally broke free....
There was a blinding flash of light. Thenio felt something like a fiery gust of wind slam into him and knock him off his feet.
When his vision returned, he found himself lying face down, staring at the floorboards with an unfocused gaze.
It hurt. It hurt so much he could hardly breathe. Shallow, shuddering gasps were all he had strength for. Half paralyzed by shock, with tears streaming down his face, Thenio slowly lifted his head. He'd fallen with one of his arms stretched out in front of him, and he could see that it was covered in angry, dark red burns.
He wasn't sure how long he'd been staring at his own burned skin when he numbly realized that he could hear someone screaming. With difficulty, he raised his head a little higher and saw Lem sprawled on the floor, howling at the top of his lungs. There were red patches on his face and arms, like he'd been badly sunburned. Their mother knelt on the floor beside him, checking Lem's wounds with a panicked expression on her face.
Just then, she looked up and met Thenio's gaze. The sight was enough to make him momentarily forget about the horrible pain. His mother—his very own mother—was looking at him with her face twisted in anger and fear.
Like she was looking at a monster.
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Thenio left school with his head down, ignoring the other children shouting and running around him, excited to be released from classes for the day. He trudged slowly down the street in the direction of his house. It was his first day back at school after needing almost a week off to recover from the accident. After a visit to the hospital and some intensive treatments with healing magic, his skin looked normal again. But magic burns left damage under the surface that took time to heal. He still wasn't completely recovered, even now.
Thenio paused as he went by the entrance to the neighborhood park, which was between the school and his house. He was tired, and his partially-healed burns were aching. But he really didn't want to go home, in spite of all that.
No one there would mind if he were late getting back, anyways. Lem was now terrified of him and started crying whenever Thenio got close. His mother had been avoiding him, too, though she was much more subtle about it. She seemed to be worried about him hurting the baby, like he'd hurt Lem.
Butterfly, of course, wasn't there anymore.
Thenio's father had assured him that the coworker who had taken her was a very nice woman who loved cats and that Butterfly was very happy in her new home. And it was probably true. Thenio had met the woman and her husband a couple of times before when his parents had taken him with them to work parties. They were an older couple who seemed to like children a lot and had been very kind to him. And Thenio knew Butterfly had never enjoyed living in the same house with Lem. She probably wouldn't be thrilled with a new baby, either.
He was relieved to know that she was all right, of course. But at the same time...he wasn't sure how to feel about the thought of her being happy somewhere else while he was missing her so much....
After debating a little, Thenio turned and took a detour through the park. There was an open area on one side where a group of stalls and tents were set up, forming a small marketplace where people sold things like secondhand clothes and vegetables from their gardens. Thenio made his way through the area, looking around and searching for a particular figure.
Eteon would be here, wouldn't he? He was usually here at this time of day.
Finally, Thenio spotted an elderly man sitting under a tree on the far edge of the market. There was a large blanket spread out on the ground in front of him, holding an assortment of wooden figurines and toys for sale. The man had a piece of wood in his hands and was deftly shaping it with a small knife.
Thenio walked over to him. When he got close, the man—Eteon—looked up and gave him a warm smile.
"Oh, Thenio! Come sit down." He patted an empty spot next to him on the blanket.
Thenio set his school bag down and sat next to it, hugging his knees up to his chest. He watched as Eteon continued with his carving. It looked like he was making some kind of four-legged animal.
"It's been a while since you last came by."
"I had to stay at home for a few days. I…had an accident. I lost control of my magic. It exploded, and...and I got some magic burns."
Eteon looked at him sympathetically. "Magic burns, huh? Those are nasty things. Do they still hurt?"
"A little."
There was a brief silence while Eteon examined the figurine in his hand, turning it around slowly to see it from all sides. He was apparently satisfied with it, because he set down his knife and pulled out a rag and a tin of varnish.
"What made you lose control of your magic?" he asked as he started rubbing varnish onto the freshly carved wood.
"I just…got upset about something. But it was just a stupid thing. Nothing really important."
Stupid? Not important? Why did he say that? He had no idea. He didn't need to hide anything from Eteon. He was Thenio's closest friend after Butterfly. But the truth just wouldn't come out for some reason.
Thenio looked down at his knees and hugged them a little tighter. The pressure on his arms where the burns had been was painful, but he didn't relax them. "The doctor said it's normal for people my age to start having trouble with their magic control. Just...it doesn't usually happen so fast...and it usually isn't this bad.... But they gave me some magic control exercises to do. They said that should keep it from happening again. So it's...probably fine."
"I see...."
Eteon finished polishing the figurine, working slowly and carefully, then set it down on the blanket next to the others. It was a deer, with long, graceful legs and intricately carved antlers. The new varnish glistened in the bits of sunlight that filtered through the leaves overhead. Like most of Eteon's carvings, the deer looked oddly lifelike, as though it might flick its tail and bound off across the park at any moment.
"Well, what should I make next? Any ideas?" Eteon asked, looking through a nearby basket that was full of chunks of wood of various sizes and colors. Thenio knew they were lumberyard scraps. Eteon always said that using random odds and ends inspired him to make more interesting carvings.
Thenio bit his lip. "Can you make...a cat?"
"A cat, huh?" Eteon pondered briefly and then pulled out a light colored piece of wood. He picked up his knife and started carving down the edges. "Did something happen to Butterfly?"
Thenio looked away. He clenched his fists and held his legs even more tightly than before. There was a long moment of silence before he managed to force the words out. "Butterfly…is gone. Mom gave her away. She didn't even tell me. I just…came home from school…and she was gone…."
"Thenio...." Eteon reached over and patted his back comfortingly.
There was a pause.
"I hurt Lem." Thenio's voice was quiet and strained. "He was close to me…when my magic exploded…and…." He trailed off. "They said he'll be fine. His burns weren't very bad. Just…." He hesitated. "It must have hurt a lot. He was screaming...." Thenio's voice trembled and broke. He buried his face in his arms. "Mom was so mad…."
Neither of them spoke for a long time. Eteon resumed his carving. Thenio kept his face hidden, listening to the rhythmic sound of the knife scraping against the wood and the murmur of voices coming from the nearby market stalls. The branches above them rustled occasionally in the breeze. There was a pleasant smell of wood shavings, mixed with the odd, spicy scents of the varnishes and stains Eteon used.
He wasn't sure how much time went by before he felt Eteon take hold of one of his hands and place something in it. Thenio raised his head to see what it was.
His eyes widened in surprise. "Butterfly?"
Sitting on Thenio's palm was a small wooden cat. The pale wood had been dyed with patches of color in a very familiar pattern, including the black and orange face and the butterfly-shaped spot on the side. It looked remarkably similar to the real Butterfly.
Thenio stared at the cat for a long time. Then he swallowed. "Can...can I buy this from you? Please? I don't have much money right now, but I promise I'll bring more next time I get an allowance."
Eteon smiled and ruffled Thenio's hair affectionately. "Silly. You don't need to buy it. I made it for you. I'm just sorry I can't get the real one back for you…."
Thenio's expression fell a bit. He didn't speak, still staring at the wooden cat cupped in his hands.
"Thenio, it wasn't your fault." Eteon stroked Thenio's hair. "None of it was your fault. I know you've always taken good care of Butterfly. And you would never hurt your brother on purpose. You're a good boy. You're kind and considerate. You work hard at everything you do. You're a very good boy. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."
The calloused hand continued stroking Thenio's hair softly. The warm voice and gentle touch eased the sting in his heart a little.
But only a little.