It's been 3 days since I discovered how nice it is to have a “human” body, and I can say with complete confidence… I now know why mankind invented porn. Don't get me wrong, I didn't waste the entire time learning the important functions of my new form, I also tried getting things done over these past 3 days… Well, let's just say that I tried a lot harder at night ba-dum-tis!

In all serious though, here's a recap of what really happened these past 3 days…

Flashback

Dragon: Master, why do you continuously mumble Ayako in your sleep?

Oh sh*t, I said that out loud!? Well, hopefully the 5 of them aren't too yandere, otherwise sh*t is about to go down… Might as well explain my relationship with Ayako as accurate as possible. Wouldn't want there to be any misunderstandings.

Me: She's the woman I want to marry if I end up marrying anyone at all. She's mine. (10/10 reply, but I might have triggered some feminazis...)

Qiln: So she is Master’s fiance?

Me: Mm… I guess you could say that. She did technically promise to marry me eventually. (I still find it hilarious how I managed to convince people to allow for humans to marry inanimate objects. Luckily people were already trying to marry anime girls, so I just tweaked what they wanted and bam!) You guys jealous?

Phoenix: Master, we are your servants, not to mentions beasts. In our opinion, it is normal for a strong male to have several females.

Turtle: Master, how exactly did you meet her? Tell us, tell us!

Me: Well, I guess I could...

Flashception

It was a couple of years ago when I first met her. She was young back then, barely entering the first grade. I had just transferred to her school since I had decided to take a break from the constant information being taught at higher level classes. It was never hard for me to change schools since I just had to hack the school's system or just find a place that had similar looking desks (in recent years though, this became harder and harder to do since only low budget schools or schools for the rich would use old fashioned desks). On the first day of the new school year, I was simply lying down basking in the sunlight enjoying the view which made me feel good inside. Seriously, a child's happiness has the power to make anyone's day better. I wish humanity had taken up my proposal on how to weaponize the magic of children...

And then I saw her, my future waifu. I didn't think much of her at that moment, but she did end up choosing me as her seat so I decided to memorize her cute little face. I noticed that she seemed to have Asian heritage and that even though she smiled there was a type of sadness in her eyes. None of the other students noticed this and just chose to laugh and talk with their friends completely ignoring her, after all, most kids her age would be ignorant when it came to reading someone's emotions and the boys wouldn't be interested in the opposite sex just yet.

And so she just spent the rest of the day like this, only talking if spoken too and keeping to herself. I was worried about her, so I decided to observe her and look for clues as to why she acted the way she did.

And look and behold, I did find what I was looking for. Luckily Ayako had a journal that she would write in every day, and from her writing I found out what was happening to cause her such grief. (Actually, now that I think about it, how did a first grader write so perfectly… whatever.)

It was a classic example of household abuse. Her father would often go home drunk and beat his wife, occasionally also bringing poor Ayako into it as well. The wife could do nothing though since she felt that she was responsible for causing their family to end up in their current state. You see, it turned out that Ayako’s mom used to be your average little rich mistress. She was the daughter of the CEO of a wealthy company and had almost gotten engaged with another man when she stumbled across Ayako’s father. He was just a simple servant of her family who did not hold any feelings for her, but nonetheless Ayako’s mother was obsessed with him after he saved her life (not that clear on the details). She eventually managed to seduce him and she later became pregnant with Ayako. After that, her family disowned her and she married Ayako’s father with what little money they had. Ever since then, Ayako’s father struggled to provide for them and the stress seemed to have broken him since according to what Ayako’s mother told Ayako, her father used to be the “nicest man in the entire world”.

I didn't want Ayako to keep suffering in that environment anymore, so I decided to gradually pull some strings to have child protective services bring her in and mysteriously leave some money for her parents (I know how to use/hack online banks); however, fate had other plans in store.

One day towards the end of the school year, Ayako suddenly wrote down something extremely disturbing down, something that I never expected to happen to a girl so young that I knew personally. She was nearly raped by her father. She didn't know that she was almost raped, but from her description of the situation, I knew she almost was. Luckily her mother managed convince her drunk father to take her place just in time; however, it was only a matter of time until it happened. In her journal, she wrote, “Please, someone take me away from them, I don't want to go homeSad [https://forum.royalroadl.com/images/smilies/sad.png]” I was so heartbroken by this that I broke my rule about not interacting with others and proceed to rub her her head by creating a hand out of air. She seemed shocked by this at first but it seems like she enjoyed the feeling of affection as she soon took a nap with her head on me. Once I knew she was really asleep, I decided that I needed to do something.

So to prevent the purity of the precious little angel in front of me, I did the only logical thing someone in this situation would do. I murdered the f*ck out of her father. Seriously, I straight up stabbed nearly every part of his body with knives, paper clips, and nails, even his junk though I'm pretty sure he was long since dead so he didn't feel it. And so Ayako was sent to live with relatives from the side of her father and her mother was freed of her father… she soon suicided though since she still loved him and didn't want to part with him. (I think it's safe to assume she wasn't exactly the sanest woman on the planet...)

Seriously, what a depressing story that was, right? Well, there was still a silver lining to all of this. The day Ayako was supposed to go to live with her relatives she visited me once more. I honestly didn't expect her to do this, but I was completely caught off guard by what she said. I mean, she spoke way to fluently and seriously for a first grader, like she became an entirely different person or she had completely grown up in the few days I had not seen her.

Ayako: Mom told me once that if someone saves you, you belong to them. I asked mom what that means and she said that I become your wife.  Thank you. No matter what you are, I belong to you.

...I didn't respond not because I couldn't, but because my mind was trying to process what was just said. I mean, how do you react when a little girl with the aura of a mature woman says you basically own her!? Really, that girl acted so mature but I bet she didn't even really think through what she said at the time. I didn't take what she said at that moment too seriously, but I think that deep down at that moment, those words planted a seed deep in my heart, one that would sprout when I once again met her in a few years (and yes, I'm speaking metaphorically since I have no organs). Imagine that, me, a being some two hundred years old had its heart moved by a first grader, and I wasn't even into little kids. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that that there was more to her that meets the eye.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Fast forward a few years.

It'd been almost 16 years since I last saw that little girl, but her image had yet to leave my mind. I found myself for some reason being compelled to go back to the elementary school where I met her. For the past 2 years, I had stayed in the same class as back then to try and see if she would make good on her promise. I didn't mind waiting for a few more years, after all, I wanted to see just how much she had grown up. Suddenly, an hour after school had ended, I felt someone opened the door to the classroom. During those days, I usually kept my spiritual sense only up to the classroom so that I could save energy which is why I didn't notice her coming. And then I heard an unfamiliar voice yet nostalgic tone.  Something that sent ripple through my subvonscious.

Ayako: ...Are you here?

Black hair that moved with each step she took, a nice firm butt enough to awaken any man's hidden desires, blue eyes that sucked one's soul in, a voice that did not lose out to the world's top idols, and a cup-size not to big but well above the average. Yup, her growth had far exceeded my expectations by a large margin. For the first time in awhile, I actually wished that I had a human form so that I could **** and ***** her while ********** all night long. To be able take me feel that way when I wasn't even affected by teenage hormones, now that was quite the accomplishment.

Ayako: ...I might not be able to see you, but I can tell you're here. I'm not transferring to here, I'm transferring to xxx, I became a student teacher. The classroom looks similar to here, so it should help you if you choose to go with me. I'll be waiting.

With those words and a gentle smile, she turned back towards the exit and slowly closed the door. For the next few minutes, all I could do was focus on the image that had replaced my memory of the helpless little girl I once knew. And then I flew out the window at top speed. Seriously, you can't call yourself a straight man if you don't respond to blatant provocation from a high tier beauty like that! (Unless you're not single… well, if something happens to you like me where I get a girl that's okay with harem, the good for you Wink [https://forum.royalroadl.com/images/smilies/wink.png])

Flashception end

Me: And that's how I met my lovable little wife.

Qiln: Master’s world sounds very interesting. So what were you doing with Miss Ayako during the time you were with her. It also sounds like she was special just like master.

Me: Huh, I guess you're right. I never really pried into her secrets all that much. I'll have to confront her about it when we next meet. By the way, grinding is fun and all, but when do we leave this area? There's only low level monsters here and I feel like we have enough money now. I want to know where we'll be going to next before I buy stuff, who knows if we'll need something that we end up not buying from the Shop.

For the past few days, all we'd been doing was hunting monsters and grinding for levels and materials. None of the monsters here were as strong as the Dire Wolves I fought when I first came here, but the levels were welcomed and the non-important items were sold to the shop and used to buy better equipment. I wondered why this area was so low level despite having chosen hell level difficulty.  I also tested out my new abilities. Nature, Life, Death, and Summoning Magic. According to my 4 followers, nature had to do with plants and animals, life had to do with healing and energy, death had to do with curses and necromancy, and summoning allowed me to make contracts with other beings, allowing me to summon them at a moment's notice to my side.

I've now got an army of cute, adorable, fluffy, and ravenous monsters, monsters like orcs and goblins, and some undead versions of them like deletions and zombies. I also managed to get some spirits/elementals following me, though they're still pretty low level right now. The good news is though that my personal army is portable, and I can choose to have them in my own dimension, though they become frozen and no time passes for them until I summon them back out. Until I get to intermediate, summoning them back out makes me use up mana which is why I've been grinding as much as I can, which isn't easy. Turns out that raising the levels of skills takes a really long time, even if it's a genius like me. I mean, Just look at where I am now.

Kevin Tsu

Race: Dark Royal Druid

Sub: Sentient Object (Desk Variant)

Lvl: 20/100 (0 unused stat points)

Titles:

The Library

The Living Desk

Psychic

Cupid

Hero

Good Murderer

Member of an Extinct Race

Dual Race

Man of Extreme Luck

Health: 4000/4000

Mana: 2500/2500

Strength: 100

Intelligence: 1250

Defense: 60

Agility: 60

Vitality: 400

Wisdom: 1100

Luck: 11 (Does not rise by using stat points)

Charm: 10.1569... (Does not rise by using stat points)

Skills:

Identify(max)

Photographic Memory (max)

Intermediate Telekinesis (2/25)

Intermediate Psychic Sense (3/25)

Language Mastery (max)

Advanced Technology Mastery (2/50)

Intermediate Cooking Mastery (2/25)

Advanced Mathematics Mastery (5/50)

Advanced Engineering Master (2/50)

Intermediate Herbology (6/25)

Intermediate Biochemistry (10/25)

Intermediate Massaging (7/25)

Intermediate Throwing Weapon Mastery (1/25)

Beginner Assassination (5/10)

Beginner Nature Magic  (3/10)

Beginner Life Magic (3/10)

Beginner Death Magic (3/10)

Beginner Summoning (4/10)

Desk Transformation  (max)

Debuffs:

Pressured: More likely to make rash decisions.

Money:  1879 gold

Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating a bit on how hard it is to level up my abilities. But remember, this is the fruit born from nearly 3 days of straight grinding. I only really had night to relax (apparently I still count as an object so I have no hunger bar, though I like eating dinner).

And so, 3 days passed by quietly… except at night. (Dammit Kevin, stop. Mentioning. Your. Sex life!) Actually, that was pretty much the only time I changed into my human form for the most part.  I felt more comfortable just being my normal desk self whenever there was no need for… human organs…*cough*

Flashback End

Me: And that is basically all that happened.

Dragon: Master, why do you monologue so much?

Me: Because when I write about my story, I want it to be first person pov and to be as accurate as to what I was thinking at the time as possible. My perfect memory should let me recall my exact words on things, so this should save me a whole lot of time.

Phoenix: ...Master is quite eccentric.

Me: Phoenix, if you try to anger me just to satisfy your fetish, I'll just stick to neglect play and won't do what happens at night anymore.

Phoenix: hah♡, p-please don't do that master!!! Punish this filthy per-

System: 4 days complete. Now it is time to start choosing which world you would like to go to next. Please pick carefully, as whichever one you choose will be open to other players playing the tutorial, regardless of the difficulty they set. The difficulty of the world will be adjusted to the average of the difficulty level of all players who choose the world. Example: An easy difficulty person ending up in a world with a difficulty of hell because 80% of the players who chose it had hell difficulty.

Me: ...I'm not eccentric!

My followers: That's what you care about!?

Note: S*x will not be mentioned that much in jokea that much later on... unless you guys like the slight mentions.