Padrict rested, strapped against the wall of the ship. Tedet had brought him into the ship limp and unconscious. We struggled and rushed to take him in, hold him down, and give him emergency treatment. There was very little to do against anoxia. A wound could be quickly fixed and simply wait for it to heal. You go to a hospital to have your body healed with temporary nanites, and after their job is done, they excrete themselves and shut down. But the brain is a fickle organ, and a lack of oxygen was a chemical problem in origin. Whatever damage could be done and had been done, it was permanent unless given therapy or third-generation reconstructive surgery.

After getting Padrict as stable as we could, we settled down and rested. The only thing left was to wait for him to wake up and figure out the extent of his damage… that is, if he even wakes up. But something in me stirred. I couldn’t stay still; I felt my anxiety rising.

Tedet had come with an unconscious Padrict. I knew this would happen. I knew Tedet would not share his oxygen. And despite all of this, it angered me. I thought Tedet had changed, he told me he wanted to change. He told me that he wanted me to show him towards the right direction. But all I could see here was his egoism taking the stage. I knew this would happen, and even I understood, in retrospect, he had it worse out of us three. And yet, it was still frustrating.

I could not bring myself to tell him how he should have shared his air, but I wanted to. Did he even consider it? I kept thinking.

To keep my mind off my terrible thoughts I followed Martin back to the cockpit computer. I silently watched him fiddle with the screens and order the computer to prepare a flight solution back to Sovail. Martin must have felt my change in mood, he never spoke a word while he had me sit, stand, and walk next to him without making a single sound. But once his job was over, and the ship was counting down to begin the reorientation and ignition maneuvers, he spoke to me only with simple sentences.

We settled in our seats while the ship turned around, jerking us in different directions and with different forces. The ship counted down to the ignition process, and once it reached zero the acceleration pushed us towards what was meant to be the floor of the ship with simulated gravity. We turned off our magnetic boots and we settled for another few minutes of rest. From here on out there was nothing else to do but wait and think.

My mind darted to and fro different subjects, but I settled on one that would keep my attention and that was the most important matter: the dragon. It was flying to Sovail, there was no doubt about it. But without radio waves, there was no way for us to confirm this. If we had this capability, we would be able to detect where the dragon was, its direction and speed, and then calculate its projected trajectory. I was not convinced I needed it, anyway. I knew the dragon was going towards our home. Yes, it was going to Sovail, but where in Sovail?

I scratched my head thinking more about it. If we could track it, that would help us, even if we couldn’t currently use radio waves, anything that could give us its rough location would be of great help. But we didn’t have the technology for it, and there was nothing we could use to create a ritual for a tracking spell.

Or did we?

I rummaged through myself and found the scale we took from the ark ship. The evidence we needed for the Council could also be used to track its position. Unlike the spell used for the demon Ssadassar, this piece of scale that came straight from the dragon would be a lot more powerful. The connection between the two was greater, any small tracking spell would suffice, and it could be used in any way. Whatever tracking spell I could use would serve us more than enough.

This gave me hope. We can still warn the Council and find the dragon. But there was one issue I could easily see. What would happen if the dragon does anything in Sovail before we can warn the Council or anyone in the Cabal? What if the vampirids or the Faery, who already knew something, became aware of the dragon? What if they take the dragon for themselves? If this was the case, we could not take any more time to find the dragon. We’d have to deal with it ourselves. But how?

The dragon is too powerful for two wizards and an alchemist. We could barely fight a demon last time, and we had a more powerful wizard with us, half a dozen Knights, the alchemist, and a professional marksman. It was true that we were being attacked by all kinds of supernatural creatures, and that we could’ve destroyed the demon by ourselves, even maybe just between us — Yand-Una, Shkadaur, and I. But this was on an entirely different scale.

“I’ve been thinking,” interrupted my thoughts, my boyfriend. “About what Padrict told us.” He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts, and I let him continue with my silence. “Do you know what the Many Worlds Theory is about?”

My silence was my answer.

Martin didn’t wait long to understand.

“To put it simply. Subatomic particles can exist in different states. For example, electrons can exist in two spin states: spin up and spin down. But they can also exist in a superposition of both. It’s not that we aren’t aware of which spin they have and so we choose to assume it’s a fifty-fifty chance they have either, and just call it superposition — no, particles don’t work like this, they can exist in a superposition of both states, they can be both at the same time, it is real. The act of observing them breaks this superposition — there are explanations as to why, but for now it’s irrelevant. The reason is that particles are also waves, and the wave function provides this possibility. Observing a particle — measuring its properties — collapses the wave function. Are you familiar with the Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment?”

I nodded.

“To some, it’s about how the subatomic conditions could affect the macroscopic. Dead or alive? Is the cat in a superposition? A further, and more interesting question, is when does the wave function collapse? Is the cat collapsing the wave function? The detector? Or the person opening the box? Whatever the case is, the box must be opened — an observer must measure the cat’s state — the superposition will be broken, and the cat must eventually be considered dead or alive, and it’s all due to chance. Some of us can’t simply accept the fact that one of those possible states is chosen; we think all of them are chosen, but we are only aware of one of them because we live in the universe — in one of the many worlds — that comes about from this wave function collapsing. The universe is split into universes where one of those possibilities happens.

“So, what if this is real?”

I understood at a base level what he explained. That all universes, where all possibilities happen, really do exist and we live in one. But to think that he means the universes don’t exist separately but that they split for every probabilistic event… was not intuitive. It was hard for my mind to understand one universe spawning two daughter universes — unless I got the explanation wrong, which I most likely did.

“We split into two universes where one cat is alive, while the other is dead?” I asked.

“When the wave function collapses, this is what could happen. So long as the Many Worlds Theory is true.”

“In which one are we?” I asked almost like a joke.

“Do you believe Free Will is real?”

I was confused by the question.

“I don’t believe in determinism. I think the universe splits when the wave function collapses. I think the universe splits when we choose. I think Free Will is that. I think fate — if you want to call it that or destiny — is like a wave function — a fundamental field, like many other fundamental forces or even energy and matter. I think we collapse the wave function of fate whenever we choose to do something. I think we aren’t predetermined by the universe to choose what we choose. Meeting you made me believe this even more, even if I don’t have the evidence.

“But if fate and destiny are waves, and they can collapse… what happens when we open the box to look at the Schrödinger future?”

He paused and took a deep breath while he waited for me to take it all in.

What if Free Will isn’t a gift given to us by The Almighty, but simply akin to a fundamental force of the universe, one with which we can interact and change? That fate and destiny really are, at its core, something basic to the universe? That means mortals aren’t gifted to choose, but we are simply naturally doing what we can do.

Then what about our future? What about looking into the future?

“ ‘In which one are we?’ ” he quoted me. “Is our Schrödinger future dead or alive? I don’t know — I haven’t opened that box. But Padrict…”

“You mean…”

“What if we could collapse the wave function of our future? What if observing the future collapses it? What if observing the future kills the cat?”

“What if observing the future seals your fate?” I quizzically summarized his thoughts.

He nodded.

A horrifying thought crossed my mind. I began to tremble.

“What if observing the future kills you,” I finally concluded. “Sweet Mary, no! Padrict!”

“You can’t tell him!” he pleaded. “Please. You can’t do this to him. He already tried escaping his fate, you can’t tell him it’s impossible to avoid death.”

“But then that means we’re killing him. We’re escorting him to his death. We should’ve left him there!”

“There was nothing we could do. We’re simply part of the future that was already destined to happen. He collapsed our futures along with his.”

My face twisted. If any of what we discussed is true, then no choice I make from here on out is my choice anymore. It’s already predetermined to happen.

Then what about the dragon?

Are we destined to win or lose? Did Padrict foresee it? Is this partly the reason he will be judged to die by the Council?

Usually, I question my own motives for ethical reasons, sometimes I do it because I’m not sure whether I’m making the right choice or because I am putting my friends at risk. This time, I’m questioning whether my choices matter and whether my future really is already set in stone. There’s not even a point in entertaining the idea that we could’ve avoided all of this if we had just refused to come, we couldn’t have, we came because that was our fate. But then, looking back, there was no way I would’ve chosen not to do this. Is this how our lives become determined?

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“How are we supposed to keep this secret?” I asked Martin. “He deserves to know.”

“For his mental health, some truths must be retained.”

“I don’t know if I can do that to him. He should know how he must spend the rest of his time. Trying to make the most out of it.”

“But if he retracts? If he decides to crawl up and hide in fear? He would simply be awaiting death in vain, like a coward.”

“Then that is his fate,” I concluded, and I found some strength in my own words. “If our fates are sealed then this conversation is unneeded. I already have chosen my path, and so have you and him. If his fate is to die a coward, then that is not on me or you. And if our fate is to fight the dragon, then that is not on anyone.”

“Eddy…” he spoke but there were words stuck in his throat, unable to push them out.

There was something he must have been thinking that he didn’t want to say, probably, because he feared saying them aloud might make them reality. He thought he rather not tempt or play with fate, but I wasn’t him at that moment, and I spoke what was truly in my mind. I addressed the elephant in the room, there was no point in avoiding this reality.

“And if my fate is to die in battle, then that is how things are to be.”

“Don’t say that!”

“I do not blame Padrict for what he did to us, there is no point in accusing anybody for our misfortune when he has already paid the ultimate price for his intrusion in our destinies.”

“Eddy, please.” Martin walked closer and grabbed me by the shoulders, almost ripping my shoulders off with his grip. “You are not going to die.”

“I do not know what my fate is, Martin. But I can tell you one thing: you won’t take part in this. When we get back to Sovail, you’re gonna run as far away from that dragon as possible.” I placed my hands over his mouth, completely covering it. “No excuses and no begging. You will simply be in our way, Martin. You will become a burden.”

“I can’t just let you fight that thing. It will kill you!”

“I have a plan,” I said and turned to see the two men behind me.

Tedet sat idly near the resting Padrict, waiting for the human to wake up. I still had some beef with Tedet, but that is something I would rather keep to myself. One day I might bring it up, but for now, there is no point in talking about it. If Tedet wanted to do something about the problems he caused, then fighting will be the way to atone. The same goes for Padrict.

I said I had a plan, but it really boiled down to ‘shoot it ‘til it dies.’

The idea reminded me of MMORPGs, or massively multiplayer online role-playing games, for those unfortunate enough to not know what it stands for. Usually, these games would have raids, where parties of several dozen people would participate to clear them. Bosses in these raids could take hours of coordination and preparation before fighting them, and even the fight itself would take the better part of an hour or maybe even two. It was a herculean effort that required communication, coordination, skill, timing, knowledge, and a lot of trial and error.

This dragon? This was our Raid Boss. And we weren’t prepared for it. Our team was small, poorly armed, and not at all knowledgeable of our enemy’s capabilities. We were going in blind, hoping we were strong enough to brunt through anything it could fling at us. The idea of being hit by its radioactive breath gave me chills. And who would’ve thought a dragon could do that?

I chuckled. I felt like I was losing my marbles, all in one go, including the bag I carried them with. Heck, you might as well throw in the backpack I carry the bag in for good measure — just in case the initial analogy wasn’t enough, and I still think I’m underestimating the gravity of it all.

But what else is there to do? I do not have a way to contact Yand-Una. Even if I had her landline, would she be at her home at the time? There’s no way any of us can ring her directly. Usually, being a wizard is only mildly inconvenient, but for today, and all the way until the day we set foot on Sovalian soil, I thought it was more than just a pain in the behind… it was agonizing.

Thus, I gathered my thoughts while I waited for Padrict to wake up. In the meantime, I avoided talking to Tedet, but Martin didn’t address me either. Either Tedet knew that I was angry at him, or he simply felt he had nothing to talk to me about. Considering who he is, any of those were just as likely. As for Martin, I thought he simply had nothing else to say; he stayed with me, but paced back a forth looking up for Padrict while he was out cold.

It didn’t take long, our anxieties only made it feel like it too long for him to regain consciousness. He woke up lethargic, a headache stopped him from reincorporating himself. Anoxia took its toll on the man, but there was nothing for us to do except see the extent of the damage.

Padrict spoke little, mostly asking questions, trying to understand what was happening and where were we. Trying to explain to him anything complicated would just make things difficult for him to process, so we kept it simple. Short phrases seemed to do the best, he responded clearly to it, but there was only so much he could give before it hurt him.

After a while, he asked the same or similar questions, this time he was much more aware of his situation. His questions seemed to be aimed at recounting events and piecing up a timeline. Not only were his questions more nuanced but there was a clear objective, one question following the next with a clear connection between the two. The man seemed to have recovered and, so far, no major damage to his mental abilities was noticeable.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Like I took a hammer to the head,” he said, half joking. “My head keeps pounding but it’s manageable.”

“And you seem to be doing better in the thinking department.”

“I realized that I was still out of it when I woke up. Nothing you told me really stuck. All I remember is words, but no meanings.”

“We were scared you suffered brain damage.”

“More?” he said with a smile.

I chuckled. “If you can joke like that, you’re doing far better.”

“There’s nothing else I can think to do.”

We remain silent reminiscing of all that was left unsaid. Nothing critical came to mind, just the subtext of our every word. Playfulness, sadness, uselessness. There was so much that was left to interpretation, and I couldn’t come up with a good way to bring it up. To this, Padrict broke the silence.

“He saved my life.”

“Tedet?”

“He gave me air. I couldn’t believe it.”

I wanted to stupidly ask if he really did, but I held it back and just stared at him. He saw my piercing eyes and there was a moment of pull between us before we averted our sights. I turned to look around and found Tedet; he was rummaging through the controls trying to find something or just fiddling to pass the time.

“I thought I was going to die after he fought you off. I knew my air was running out, but I didn’t say anything. Then he simply plugged himself to me. ‘Don’t die,’ he said. And we managed to get close before I lost all my oxygen.”

I didn’t speak. I was smarter than to make any dumb remarks or jokes, or even ask rhetorical questions. Tedet had given him air even against all that he believed, and here I kept thinking he was a soulless man. I wanted to apologize to him badly, even when I knew he wouldn’t mind it or care, like he usually does.

“I’m glad to hear that,” I said and knew the words sounded empty. “Excuse me.” And with that, I left him.

I reached out to my best friend, who, I now was aware, was simply passing the time looking at anything the panels would show him. Numbers on fuel, numbers on cargo, numbers on power sources. He checked the flight solution several times as he skimmed through everything a million times. I knew he was simply trying to entertain himself by expecting anything new to appear on the screens. I knew how he felt: bored out of his mind. And the first day was only just beginning.

“Hey,” I said, and he responded identically. “Padrict told me what happened.”

Tedet paused for a heartbeat after those words, but continued like nothing happened. “Did he?” That was all he said.

“About you sharing air,” I said and felt like a teenager trying to confess his love to his crush. There was something I wanted to say but I didn’t know how to say it or where to begin.

Tedet scrolled past the same page for the sixth time since our conversation began.

“I’m sorry,” I finally stated. “I blamed you all this time for something you didn’t do — more like, for not doing something you actually did. I thought you had simply let him die. And all this time I was so angry about nothing.”

“So, you jumped to conclusions and got angry over nothing.”

“Yes, essentially.”

“Right. And how is that an issue for me?”

I usually am proud of how good I am at reading my best friend, so much so that I make sure to brag about it. A human being able to understand a radera — and an alchemist — to my extent? Surely, there’s only one like me and that is me. But these situations made me question everything. Why was he acting so indifferently?

“I was angry at you. I blamed you. That’s not right.”

“Yes, and when did that affect me?”

“I was ignoring you and gave you the cold shoulder. I also thought ill of you.”

“And now you’re here talking to me. No cold shoulder, no ill thoughts. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

Was I being lectured? I didn’t get it. But if this was Tedet’s way of getting back at me, then I was fine with it.

“You sound like a child, Ed. Get over it.”

And that was what broke me.

“You’re not angry,” I concluded. “You don’t care? That your best friend was treating you terribly on his head?”

“Why are you so hung up over this, Ed? You’re being extra annoying than usual. If you don’t like how I deal with our friendship, go self-flagellate someplace I don’t have to see or hear you.”

“Ted, I feel bad about doing that to you. How am I supposed to forgive myself?”

He turned blue and looked at me, finally turning away from the numbers on the screen. The blueness of his pimples went away before he said: “I forgive you, Ed. You did nothing wrong.” He stared at me for a little longer to drive the words through my thick skull, then turned to catch his numbers change.

“You treat this so lightly, like it’s of no importance.” I had given up on forcing a reaction.

“And you treat this too greatly. I was not offended by anything you did until you brought it up, and only because you were being so pushy.”

“I really feel bad about it, Ted. Don’t ignore my feelings like this. I don’t know how to wrestle with them.”

He let go of the panel, his arms dropped to the sides and he looked up, pensive.

“It’s always like this with humans. Why are you all so self-deprecating? Either that or you lose sight of what matters in front of you. You made a small mistake in your head, Ed. How was that affecting me?”

“Well, it affected me.”

“Then, why are you coming to me and crying over how you hurt me? I’m not the one that’s hurt. You’re an idiot for not seeing this, Ed. You hurt yourself. If you need forgiveness from someone, that is yourself.” He turned around to peruse his numbers again. “Take some time to settle your feelings, and once you’re done with your self-loathing and manage to forgive yourself, you can come back and talk to me. No more words before that.”

I tried retorting but he croaked and whistled. If there was something I knew about Tedet, it was that those sounds only meant he was shushing me angrily. I had nothing else to do but to retract myself into my head and think well about what he said. It didn’t even take me long to realize he was right, in fact, I knew he was correct the moment he gave me his speech. I was trying to forgive myself by getting forgiveness from somebody who wasn’t willingly going along with a mediocre plan that would not give me proper satisfaction. If Tedet forgave me, it would only mask the real problem and bury my real anxiety. I was angry at myself, and blamed myself for not trusting my best friend, like I always do. And here I was getting angry at him because he wasn’t following my script.

How could I be so shortsighted? No. That wasn’t right. I knew perfectly well how I felt and what I was doing. The real question was: how could I be so manipulative?

I turned to look at my boyfriend, and felt a pang of pins and needles scraping down my back in a matter of, exactly, thirteen picoseconds — I clocked it. Was I going to do this to him one day? I can’t continue being so stupid. I need to be better, for both their sakes. Maybe even one day be a role model to Reira. And, if time allows it, maybe even a child of ours, Martin’s and mine.

“You’re right,” I said, and walked defeated to sit in a corner and think of what I had done.

Tedet was right, I was acting like a child and I still am. I hate it when he’s right, and he’s always right. What’s more, I had just had a revelation with Martin about the present and the future, how we can’t change what has already been set in stone. If it’s true, then I simply must act and fortune and fate will take the wheels, whatever action I decide to take has already been decided and I should not think too much about it. What about my past? Doesn’t this apply to the immediate past or even the long past? I shouldn’t worry about what’s been done, but see to the present and future. If I had made mistakes, then I should try to revert them or make up for them.

But now was not the time to feel pitiful. There were more things to do; a fight was ahead of us. If we do not fight, then that is what fate demands. But I do not like to think that fate has chosen us to lay down our weapons. I will fight and I will make sure everyone here safeguards the future of others — starting with Padrict.

I turned on my heels and returned to Tedet. With a simple voiceless gesture, I commanded him to follow me. Then, I walked towards Martin and called his attention. With my escort gathered and following me, I directed myself towards Padrict. I knew very well that Martin had been eying me, with pleading eyes, while Tedet was only looking at me intently. I decided to take that as encouragement.

“Padrict,” I called him once we walked up to him. “We need to plan what is going to be our next move. But before that, there’s something we need to talk about. The earlier the better.”

Padrict looked at me intently. I signaled everyone to take a seat, this one was going to take some time to explain before we get to the meat of the issue with the dragon.

“Do you believe in destiny?” I began.

And before I heard an answer, I laid down his fate before him.