My world felt like it was breaking apart. The trip back to my house was surreal and it didn’t really fully dawn on me until I stepped out of the car. I felt subtracted from reality, like I was in a dream, only to wake up when I felt the cold twilight breeze below my apartment building.

The sounds of Tedet struggling and in pain as he struggled standing up from the driver’s seat. The sound of Jaser and Misa rustling and chittering behind me rushing to help my friend. The sounds and sensations that somehow felt alien to me, as if I sensed them through someone else’s body suddenly knocked me into true consciousness. This was happening.

I quickly helped with Tedet and went to open the apartment’s building main reception door. Things were yet to be over. There were still many things that were to be done and all of them would most likely converge tomorrow.

We walked up the stairs and I looked at every door expecting my neighbors to step out and find us in our predicament. Dirty, beaten, bloody, wounded, and burned. If any of them looked at us it could mean trouble. Maybe only inconvenient but we would still look suspicious. The doors somewhat took an ominous form in my head. I was turning schizophrenic. I lived on the last floor and, on every floor we walked by, four doors surrounded us.

I prayed that the doors wouldn’t open. I didn’t understand why I feared them so much. Maybe because it would mean one more thing to be troubled by and I couldn’t take much more of it. The journey scaling the stairs took longer than it should.

I somehow didn’t realize I had opened my door until I was hurrying everyone inside and closing the door behind us. The sound of my door closing resounded in my mind like our destiny had been sealed, it felt like the sound had reverberated through the fabric of space. Things were not going to be the same ever again.

I was half expecting a text window appearing before my eyes telling me that the strings of fate had been sewn and that my life was destined for greatness… or that it was doomed. But nothing happened. I simply stood there looking at my living room, Tedet sprawling on the sofa, and Jaser and Misa asking him questions.

“What do we do now?” I said aloud. But no one heard me.

I needed some kind of clue or a premonition. I wished I could see that window. The prospect of it telling me my life was doomed at first was scary, but after feeling lost it would’ve at least made me feel content; that my life had a destiny, that my future was written that there was no point in thinking too much about it. But that couldn’t be true. I knew this all too well. I, like any other mortal being, possess a soul, and, with it, Free Will. If there was a future written down, I had the power to rewrite it. That is what we can do. Other creatures can’t change the future, they are set on a path, and even though they don’t know what the future holds they know that whatever they do is written in stone. For us humans, such a thing doesn’t exist, we are the oddballs. Our future is uncertain. And, right now, uncertainty is not what I wanted.

How ironic that the one thing that makes us special is also the cause of so much pain.

“What do I do now?” I repeated. And I stood there as still as ever.

Uderach came to mind. Tomorrow I’m supposed to act as his champion for a reason I never asked. My only clue had to do with the vampires and torviela working together, and the internal vampire war. It could only mean that imbalances in powers between the two leeches and the vampire houses lead them to conflict. Who did Uderach side with? I can only imagine him siding with vampires, it would only make sense. But what about other torviela houses that have yet to side with vampires? They have to be big houses otherwise they gain nothing by siding with them, but do gain if those factions fight with one another. And Uderach is the Master of a small house.

Thinking about it, I’m just a pawn for this vampiric war. And I’ll be helping Uderach climb up the ladder.

On the other hand, saving my nephew probably put a target on me… on us. But, specifically, me since I’m related to this war and I can only imagine the vampires know I’m a champion. There’s no way for me to know, but they must have found out. My biggest trouble with this is whether Jaser was just a coincidence and Uderach used him to get to me or if they knew I was a pawn and used him to get to me before this all began.

This happened months ago, and I can’t imagine vampires planning it for this long. This had to be a coincidence that Uderach took advantage in order to take hold of me.

Which brings me back to the vampires most likely wanting me gone. I don’t think I’ll be able to live a normal life now that the vampires have seen me and Tedet blow up one of their buildings. And if that wasn’t enough, blowing a building isn’t something you can’t simply hide, and there must be an ongoing police investigation. And people know that there was a radera blowing things up, even if they can’t find evidence of it, people saw him, and the survivors of the vampires would most likely talk about what happened in the building.

The great amount of blood would probably be blamed on Tedet, especially since the people would not be able to account for what happened. And despite them talking about their kidnapping – if they can even speak about it – these two things would not be linked. Tedet would still be assumed to be the perpetrator of the deaths inside the building, even though who he killed were vampires whose bodies might disintegrate soon. While the undercover mass kidnappings will be considered just a coincidence of these two incidents. Even if the police think that Tedet might have known about it and even if they think he was there to save them, the two cases won’t be able to combine unless they have irrefutable evidence of the connection between the two, and despite that, Tedet would still be trialed for mass murder or at the very least, destruction of property.

I can’t keep up with all these situations.

There’s no way we’re getting out of this in one piece. We’ll have to survive all three for us to live a normal life. I have to win the duel of champions, and after that, we have to hope that the police don’t find out about Tedet. But even if we get to be this lucky, vampires are going to be tailing us for the rest of our lives, putting us and our families in danger.

It’s over.

We’re screwed. There’s no way out of this situation.

Not only did I put myself in check, but I had also dragged Tedet with me. I dragged my family too, but so did I dragged Tedet’s as well. Maybe even my friends.

Martin!

I gasped. Tedet and Martin are both in danger now because of me.

My mental clock that was clicking suddenly rang the bell. Like a church sounding their massive bells, they were heralding their deaths. Their destinies seemed to be written in stone – in their tombstones.

All I could think was how powerless I was in the face of this situation. Powerless was the recurring theme of the week. Despite all, it wasn’t supposed to end like this. ­­­­­­­­

“Uncle, help us,” pleaded my nephew. “We need to take care of his injuries.”

My nephew calling me out snapped me from my dreadful thoughts and I was finally back in my body and house. Back in reality. My legs moved without me thinking about it and for a moment my consciousness rode the train that was my body acting on its own.

I took a step forward and I felt my leg throb. Why did it start hurting now? I tripped a little, but stood still for a second and continued limping.

I approached and took a wet towel my nephew was holding, and I placed it on my friend’s skin, keeping the burned areas moist before we applied medicine on it.

Tedet clicked several times so quickly, he sounded like a machine gun. Those must be the sounds of pain. I’ve heard him click like that before when he’d hurt himself in the shop, but I had never heard him drag those clicks for so long. He then groaned, like how a stomach would growl.

I wondered if he had thought about this situation as much as I did. All I could do was apologize for his state, because anything more was impossible for me to bring up.

“I’m so sorry, Ted,” I began. “This was my fault.”

“Yes,” he answered, eyes closed. “It is.”

I tried to act like that didn’t hurt me, and I managed to hold back a weep by groaning to myself.

“All of this could’ve been avoided if you had just forgotten about that man,” he said and pointed behind him. He did not whisper, the volume of his voice was normal, and inside my miniature apartment, you could hear from anywhere. Jaser must have heard that comment about him quite clearly. “But you went there and risked your life. You almost lost it. What would you have done if I hadn’t been there?”

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Three things surprised me. The fact that Tedet did not care for who was listening to him, that he never mentioned his injuries, and that all he blamed me for is for putting myself in danger. He never mentioned his own life. He never told me he could’ve died, that he had almost died for a man he did not care, or that I had used him for something stupid. Tedet never put himself first.

That made me feel even more guilty.

“I’m so sorry, Tedet…” I could not think of anything else to say. “I should’ve thought more about you.”

Tedet did not answer, but he turned his face towards me and open his eyes. I could not look at his face, but I felt his stare.

“I should have given priority to you,” I continued holding my cry. “I put the lives of others before you. I knew you were important to me, but I had never considered your life to be in danger. It never crossed my mind that you could be in any danger, that you couldn’t come out alive or unhurt.

“I always thought I was the weak one. The one that needed to be protected, and you were an untouchable entity. A guardian angel.

“I will never do this again, Ted. I swear I will never put anyone else before you.”

The room grew still and quiet. Nothing moved and nothing made a sound. The insect cracking as the night fell was the only thing that broke the eerie silence.

“Ed,” he began. “You are one stupid man.”

I felt shocked. Ashamed. I could not look at him anymore.

“A stupid, reckless man. I can’t think of anyone making more mistakes than you. But if there was a human – no, a person – that I could say I respect, is you.”

My tears began crawling down my cheeks. Tedet wasn’t an emotionless person, he’s more caring, selfless, and forgiving than anyone I know. All he manages to do is hide well his emotions behind that aloof attitude.

“As much shit as I give you for thinking about others’ rather your own life -- as much as I don’t understand it -- that is something I respect from you. It is stupid. But, I admire that from humans, and you’re the only person I know that embodies it to its fullest extent.

“You’re the one that makes me consider other people that isn’t me. But I can’t. The only ones I feel a slight bit of responsibility for are you and my girlfriend… sometimes Hayier. And if Martin is to become your partner, then I must extend that to him as well, as much as I dislike it. But it is you that makes me consider it and act on it.

“Do you think I chose to stick with you because I am innocent, and it is only my instincts that make me put my life at stake for you? Is that all you think us radera amount to?”

I was confused. I did not understand what he was saying.

“It takes effort to go along with you to these plans. It takes a lot of effort to follow you on a principle I don’t share. It takes a lot of effort to throw myself into a fire to save you.

“Ed. I hesitated before I saved you. I say I would kill a lot of people for you, but at that moment when I saw you on fire, I felt scared. I did not want to save you out of fear. But I knew, that despite how you say you are, I knew you would not have hesitated even a second. I knew that in my situation you would’ve thrown yourself to the vampire and the fire to save me.

“I’m not a good person that puts your life before mine without a second thought, unlike you. But I know I have to because you’re my friend and because I know you would do the same for me. I’m not a good person like you, Ed. I don’t do this out of the goodness of my heart, but because I know I can be better, and the one that shows me how to do it is you. You put your life in danger for me and others, so why can’t I do the least bit and try to be that for you?

“Do you think I blame you for what happened to me? As I see it, it was my mistake to let that happen to you. I am supposed to be your guardian angel, as you say. And it was my choice to be there.”

I kept cleaning Tedet’s wounds trying to hold everything back. But I failed. The tears were already clouding my view and my voice was interrupted by sobbing.

I tried pleading forgiveness but I could not utter a single word correctly. From Tedet’s perspective, I must have looked like a mess. Water running down my face, weird weeping and gasping garbled my speech, and snot dripped from my nose. To my nephew and Misa, I must have looked pitiful, and to Tedet, horrifying.

“There’s more Ted—” I managed to say between weeps, in a weird intonation. “There’s more…”

Tedet only looked at me waiting.

“They are gonna hunt you now… they are gonna be looking for you… you’re still in danger!”

Tedet did not speak or changed color.

“Don’t you get it? I made you a target!”

He did nothing.

“How are you this calm?”

“Because I knew,” he said. “I knew the moment I made my decision; I was aware that I was involving myself with them. That I was putting myself in danger.”

“B-but, your girlfri—”

“Of course, she knows too. Do you think I wouldn’t tell her? She made her choice, and she knows how important you are to me.”

“I don’t understand how you could put so much faith in me.”

“Faith?” He began laughing. He cackled a radera laughter. “I have no faith in you, Ed. I know. And besides, I don’t want to lose you. Isn’t that enough of an egoistic decision for you to stop blaming yourself for what happened? I made my choice, Ed. You didn’t do that for me. And I knew the consequences… apparently, better than you did.”

I kept crying but I felt a weight coming off my chest.

“Hey, Ed,” he said, and stared at me for a few moments, then averted his gaze for a moment before turning back and changing to a yellow color. “I—” He choked. “I never said I was sorry.”

I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. There was no reason why he needed to apologize and yet he felt the need to do it. It was ridiculous.

“I said all those things, but I still let that happen to you. And now, you’re blaming yourself for what happened to me. I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t say that. You did more than I could ever ask for. Sometimes I wish you didn’t trust me this much. You don’t need to apologize.”

“At least I said my piece,” he concluded.

“We both did,” I said noticing my weeping had subsided.

“And I’m glad because you were looking horrifying. Now that you look more… normal… I don’t have to look at that face.”

I chuckled. “Of course, you would complain about that after a touching moment.”

“Touching moment?”

“Forget it.”

I was a bit relieved that Tedet did not think too much of this situation. A human would’ve thought this moment as awkward after being so emotional. Or maybe it’s just Tedet who doesn’t see the emotional importance of our talk, he looks at things more logically than others.

“Anyway, Ed,” he began. “What’s the plan now?”

“The plan…” I said, and despite my earlier dread, this time I thought of it more relaxed. But even with my mind sharper, I still could not think of a solution. “I don’t have a plan.”

“We never have one, anyway. We’ll just have to think of one and then fuck it up the moment we execute it.”

I laughed again. “It’s worked so far.”

Tedet turned to look at me and said nothing.

“What?” I asked.

“That’s new. You weren’t so relaxed the last time I said: ‘it’s worked so far.’ ”

“That’s because the last time you said that we were talking about blowing things up or being violent.”

“So, what’s the angle this time?”

“I think, I’m just going to go there and pray for things to go well.”

“We just go there and see what happens? You definitely weren’t kidding when you said you had no plan.”

“We?” I mocked. “No, no, no. I’m going alone. You have to rest.”

Tedet shifted in place, looking brightly blue, and making noises that mean he hurt himself. “You’re being stupid, again. I’m going with you.”

“Not this time. You’re in no condition and you will only be more trouble for me.”

“You can’t be serious, Ed. You can’t handle it all alone.”

“And you think you can handle it better in your condition? You’re burned all over and you hurt yourself just by moving.”

“This only hurts; I can still fight.”

“I’m not budging this time, Ted,” I said and sighed. “Listen. Just because I don’t want you to be with me doesn’t mean I don’t need your help. You can still help, and I would really need your help.”

“You said you had no plan.”

“My plan is to prepare as best as I can for battle and then fight until I win. There’s nothing else for me to do. There’s no way to get out of this and I can’t avoid it. And I also don’t know who I am fighting and how we’re fighting.”

This was the first time Tedet avoided looking at me while I spoke. I wanted to think he was ashamed of admitting I was right this time. Not only that I was right, but that I was right about him being useless and that meant he had to admit to his uselessness.

“You’re going to need a lot of potions, and those I don’t have with me. There are plenty at my home, and you’re going to need the help of my girlfriend, she knows where everything is since she helps me make them and organize them.”

“You have a lovely girlfriend, Ted.”

“Of course, I do. She’s the best.”

“Aren’t you glad she chose you?” I said mockingly.

“I am,” he said with a straight face. There is no way to make fun of Tedet when he’s a straight guy.

But putting jokes aside, I was scared to go to his house and meet his girlfriend. I was told to take care of “her Tedet” and that if anything happened to him I would be burning if the hottest fires of hell. I would love to say I’d be happy to finally meet Ms. Galieta, but that phrase can be replaced with ‘finally meet my end,’ and that’s not what I want. My first and last time meeting her.

What’s worse is that I might never get to tell her, at some point later ‘we meet again, Ms. Galieta.’ Which is a phrase I always wanted to use against my archnemesis, but given how I don’t have one, the closest one to it would be my best friend’s girlfriend who probably hates my guts for putting her sweetheart in danger for an entire week.

Now that I think about it, I might need a plan to meet her. And on second thought, I’m thinking that if I get to survive our first time then I would surely be able to survive anything that those torviela throw at me.

“Ed!” Tedet shouted. “Are you listening?”

“My bad,” I answered. “I was lost in thought. What were you saying?”

“I said to go there and tell her I can’t be there because I burned myself trying to save you, and that I as—”

“Are you crazy!?” I exclaimed. “Can’t you think of a lie I can tell her so she doesn’t obliterate me in your front door? I don’t want you cleaning me off your driveway.”

Tedet shook his head. “Stop worrying. And don’t exaggerate. She isn’t an alchemist; she can’t turn you into carbon goo.”

“That’s not what I’m concerned—”

“Then tell her that I want her to help you find a list of potions.”

“Tedet. Listen to me. She’s going to kill me.”

Tedet looked at me for a couple of seconds before continuing uncaringly. “I’ll be writing you the list, so give me a while as I make the document.”

“You don’t care about what might happen to me, do you?”

“She’s going to be angry, sure. But I doubt she might do anything beyond maybe breaking a finger or two.”

My eyes peeled open. “You’re serious.”

“She’s not vengeful but she takes education more seriously than the average person.”

Than the average, he said. No, Ted, that is definitely more than just beyond average, she’s an outlier. I didn’t want to continue with the conversation, so I swallowed my words, figuratively, and my saliva, literally, out of nervousness.