Jeanne steadied her breath as she opened her eyes and saw the field once more. Holding her hands out to touch the tall blades throughout the grassland. Birds flew over her heads, singing and exploring the heavens above without a care in the world. She could feel the crunch of pebbles and dirt underneath her feet with each step. The cold air moving deep inside her with each breath.

She smiled, feeling a sense of peace come over her. Coming to a large rock, she sat down and looked up at the golden sun illuminating the sky. She wrung her hands, feeling the warmth touch her skin as she let the moment bring her into a sense of peace. Hearing footsteps coming up she didn’t turn to see, knowing what she would see.

The figure sat down next to her, silent, cold, chilling Jeanne’s skin with a frosty sensation. “I know this won’t mean much, given everything. But … it’s been long time since I could think of you and not immediately want to scream or cry at the mere thought. And, I … I feel bad doing this to you. But I can’t keep putting myself through this. I can’t keep risking hurting those I care for because of what happened.

“This won’t take away the pain I feel when I think of you. And that gods know the guilt will never go away. But need to find some peace between us. I need to know that we were more than bound by blood.” She shook her head, looking back up to the heavens above them. “I know that I was never a great sister. I gave you well more than a fair share of grief for doing what was expected, for being a better person. And you deserved none of it. I don’t know if this anger I feel comes from what I did to you, or if I think I should’ve been the one who was murdered and left rotting in a ditch.”

Jeanne rose from the rock, turning around to find no one there. “Perhaps it was for the best things turned out the way they did. That way you don’t have to bloody your hands in terrible vengeance. And I can do what I do best.”

Jeanne heard an unexpected voice from call out to her. “Jeanne,” they said shocking Jeanne to open her eyes and see herself back in her small room on The Bellamy Blade. She was sitting with her legs crossed and palms resting on her knees. She looked up and saw Maeryn standing by the door which was slightly ajar.

“Oh Maeryn,” Jeanne said as she rose to her feet. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“We were getting a little worried when you didn’t show up for breakfast … or lunch.”

Jeanne furrowed her eyebrows. “I missed both?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say you missed them, what with it being slightly improved gruel, but Doc said you should still be eating something.”

“Now that you mention it, I am getting a little hungry,” Jeanne said moving to the door, she paused turning back to Maeryn. “Actually, I’m really hungry now.”

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“I’m pretty sure there’s still some wonderful gruel leftover.”

Jeanne gave Maeryn a uncomfortable look. “Perhaps someone decided to catch a fish?”

“You don’t want to know the regulations associated with that,” Maeryn replied, shaking her head. “I already asked.”

“I’m almost tempted to ask how they divvy up their loot after raiding a ship?”

“From what I heard it’s almost an equal distribution amongst the men.”

“I’d thought the captain would be getting the lion’s share of all that.”

“They get twice the average share.”

“Oh, that’s still less than what I was expecting.”

“I guess it makes them keen to find ships to raid and such.”

“You think someone high up in the guild was the one who made that rule?”

“Oh absolutely,” Maeryn replied.

Jeanne noticed Maeryn tapping her foot on the floorboards and looking around the room. “You have something on you’re mind?” Jeanne asked her.

“I’m not sure how to put this delicately.”

“And that has me even more concerned.”

“Jeanne the others are worried about you, myself included.”

Jeanne let out a heavy sigh. “I was afraid you’d bring that up.”

“You damn near put us down by one medic.”

“I am more than aware of what I did, Maeryn. And how about you not speak about my partner like that!” Jeanne barked, rising to her feet.

Maeryn leaned back, lifting her palms towards Jeanne. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.”

Jeanne took a few deep breaths as she waved it off, slowly sitting back down. “No, I made it more than it was.”

“It’s just we’re worried that you’ll get yourself into a situation we can’t get out of.”

“I know,” Jeanne said somberly. “I’ve been worried about that too.”

Maeryn sat down next to Jeanne. “Is that why you’ve been doing those meditation exercises Benkin does all the time.”

Jeanne nodded. “I didn’t want this mess to rear its ugly let, alone bring any of you into it. And the last thing I’d ever want would be to hurt those I care about the most. Yet that’s happened before I knew better. It just feels like I’m losing control of everything and I’m just tired of it.”

Maeryn drew in both lips as the words soaked in. “I can’t begin to imagine what that must feel like. And I know not who to thank for all of my family still a part of this world, but I thank them nonetheless. And I know you didn’t bring any of this on. I want to make sure that we all come back from this together.”

“I do too,” Jeanne said giving Maeryn a light smile before her worries returned to her mind. “This just feels like a bad dream that I can’t wake up from.”

“That’s a sentiment I’m familiar with,” Maeryn replied, “One I’m fairly certain all of our little cadre know too well.”

“Almost a requirement for membership,” Jeanne joked.

“How much emotional damage have you endured? And can it be measured in drinkable tears?” Maeryn asked before belting out into a loud laugh.

“Oh gods, Maer!” Jeanne exclaimed, joining in the laughter. “That’s just dark!”

“Thus, another prerequisite for our little troupe,” Maeryn replied, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Oh, I badly needed that laugh,” Jeanne said, covering her mouth with her hand as she tried to regain her composure.

“Well,” Maeryn said, making her way to the door. “We should probably get you some food before someone decides to help themselves to a second helping of sailor’s gruel.”

“You really thinking someone is going to give themselves a second helping?”

Maeryn shrugged. “I wouldn’t, but when you’re starving a bowl of suspicious food can be a succulent five course meal.”