They had been fighting for the last four hours and the people were exhausted. They already lost one hundred fifty Hussars, who died protecting the Guardsmen, but despite that, twenty Guardsmen were lost as well. The Hussars that stayed outside the walls charged a few times into the monster horde, lessening the pressure on the besieged city. While the Hussars were monsters in the field where they easily destroyed scores of monsters, they were struggling to fight without their mounts. They managed to kill respectable amounts of monsters, but the fight was just getting harder. The number of bodies under the walls started to pile up, making it easier for various types of animal monsters to jump on the wall and directly engage in fights with the Hussars and Guardsmen.

"Sir! We should leave the Hussars and retreat to the secondary positions! Our people can't fight much longer!" Flin yelled at Alan, who was sore from mana deprivation and lack of sleep. He drank a mana potion and felt the surge of power.

"Agreed, Captain." Alan was so exhausted that he yawned, which made him close his eyes.

A piercing pain took his breath, and he felt a wave of unbearable heat where a moment earlier was his left arm. The yell of the Captain was so distant now, and Alan, with surprise, found out his eyelids were so heavy. He knew he hit the ground and was still hearing the sounds of battle. He started falling asleep when he realised that he was probably dying. Before he collapsed, he defiantly opened one of his eyes and saw a large panther that was fighting with Captain and one of the Hussars. He outstretched his right arm, which, surprisingly, was still holding his staff. Using all of his remaining mana, he cast just one more spell.

"Hellfire..." He managed to whisper, targeting the horde outside the walls and unleashed the blazing inferno. In a late revelation, he smiled as he noticed that his mana dropped to five points. He had gotten stronger. "I am so sorry El'rin..." he mumbled and too tired to fight any longer, he allowed the darkness to claim him.

•••

Alan woke up in the lavishly decorated room, feeling sharp pain all over his body. That, and the fact it was so hard to breathe, must have meant he was still alive. He looked around him and heard the excited voice of the young girl. Other people hurried near him and someone grabbed his hand. It was El'rin. Her eyes were full of tears, and her ears were lowered pitifully.

"You are alive! I was so worried..." She put her face to his hand.

"How is the battle?" He managed to ask weakly. "How long I was out?"

"You were unconscious for two days and the battle is over. You saved us, Alan. The spell you cast back then burned hundreds of monsters and destroyed the bodies that piled under the walls. You bought us another four hours, during which Legio Ferrata returned. You are our Hero!" She kissed his hand and burst into tears. "I'm so sorry! I was too weak to save your arm!"

"You are safe..." He barely uttered with his parched throat and coughed. He tried to stand up, but she held him.

"You must lay in bed now! Don't you dare to stand up Alan!" she cried. "Please..."

•••

Luna was crying in the far corner of the greenhouse. Thirty-six good people died because of her, and every death weighed heavily on her soul.

"I found you." A pair of strong hands grabbed her, and she was trapped, unable to run away.

After a vain struggle to make him let her go, she surrendered to her fate and cried bitterly, snuggling herself to him. Theon slowly patted her head and allowed her to cry out her sadness and frustration. He hugged her tighter, and she embraced his closeness and familiar warmth.

"They died because of me..." she sobbed.

"But you saved everyone else. It was not your fault, Luna, but mine."

•••

El'rin was crying in the corner of Alan's room. She had known him far longer than he suspected and had been in love with him since the day he saved her life five years ago. He saved her when she was a beginner adventurer from the ambush of feral goblins. His party killed the goblins that ambushed her friends and killed all the men. She and two of her friends had wished the goblin killed them at the time, knowing the fate of women captured by the ferals. Once goblins were fighting off Alan's party, one of the goblins tried to kill her and her friends, but Alan had saved them. She lost him from her sight for three years and she was afraid that he had died in some dungeon. Two months ago, she found him in Avalon by pure luck. He must have forgotten about her, but she gladly played along. Her heart almost burst from her chest when he asked her to accompany him.

But now he was so quiet. After the battle ended and everyone celebrated, the Legion Tribun relayed the message from the King himself. Alan was ordered to return as fast as possible to Avalon. Some of the soldiers whispered between themselves that Alan, despite being a hero who saved them, couldn't be a City Lord any longer due to his injuries. That was so unfair! She hated herself for not being able to save his arm. But it was impossible. The panther that bit his arm off has eaten too much of it. She wiped her tears and promised herself that she wouldn't allow him to be alone. El'rin clenched her fists and stood up to check on him. Alan was quickly returning to health and was able to move already. He smiled when he saw her.

"I am fortunate you were around to save me, El'rin. Thank you." He welcomed her as he did every day since he woke up after losing his arm.

"Alan, please..." She held her tears and noticed his face darkened.

"El'rin, listen... No, please, you must go. I can't bother you anymore with how I am," he mumbled with closed eyes.

"NO!" She jumped towards him and grabbed his healthy hand. "I will never leave you again!"

"Don't be stupid El'rin! I am no longer..." She kissed him to interrupt whatever he wanted to say. He tried to push her but couldn't with just one arm.

The knocking on the doors startled El'rin, and she reluctantly let Alan go and stood next to him. "Come in!" she shouted, not allowing him to say anything.

"My Lord! Most of Legio Ferrata is preparing to move to subjugate the Wild Beast Dungeon. We prepared the wagons to take you comfortably to Avalon." Tribune himself brought them this message. "If your Lady is willing to go with you, there is enough room for comfortable travel. If I may..." he hesitated.

"Of course. What you wanted to say, Tribune?" Alan nodded.

"I would advise your Lady to come along, my Lord. Your health is still uncertain, but we must hurry and bring you to Avalon."

"I will go!" El'rin looked at him with fire in her eyes. She would go even if she had to run behind them.

"Then, please. Follow me." He put his hand on his black armour and bowed to them.

•••

After Luna calmed down, I teleported us back to our home, where the caring hands of the rest of my wives took Luna away. I sighed slowly. Deaths are inevitable from war. From them, hatred and resentment are born, creating the spiral of hate that quickly deprives people of all reason. Luna was a good commander and a talented tactician. It was my neglect that was the reason she couldn't handle this. Hestia stood up, and after fixing her hair, she approached me slowly.

"I can't console her, Theon. It wouldn't be sincere and honest." Hestia sat down on the chair near the table.

"I somehow understand." I nodded and sat near her. "I... Have memories, flashes, that tell me that I already lost so many soldiers that I couldn't cry anymore. I still don't remember who I was in my previous life, but I think I was a military man, probably some top brass."

If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

"Does it matter?" she asked as she looked at me with her eyes. The golden glitter was very slowly circling like a vortex as she waited for my answer.

"No. I am Theon now." I shrugged. "But I wanted to tell you that I understand you. You lived so long and saw the death of so many people that it can't bother you anymore."

"Yes... Does that make me a monster?" her voice shivered.

"Not really. You still cry for those you know or you cared for." I patted the top of her hand. "I just know the hard truth. Soldiers die. It's a universal law of the universe."

"What will happen now?"

"I will help her as much as I can. But she still will be a Southern and Western war theatre commander." I stood up, leaving Hestia after she slowly nodded.

I knelt near Luna, who looked at me pitifully. She studied my face and, after she gently caught both my cheeks between her hands, she touched my forehead with hers. We were kneeling like that for a moment and she was calmly breathing with her eyes closed. I knew that she was looking for the answers in my memories, answers to the questions she was too afraid to ask aloud. She did that before and right now, I owed her that much. She exhaled slowly and opened her eyes.

"You allowed everything because you knew I was a better commander than Ban, Drake or even Galahad?" She looked at me strangely.

"Yes."

"I saw the war that plays inside your mind... The war that has torn your world asunder, left millions dead, and you were in the middle of it. The flashes of nuclear explosions that turned the night sky into day, the silence of the moon and the war that spanned outside the Earth... You were one of the generals that won that war..." she whispered, provoking the gazes of Amber, Irene, and Aoi.

"No, Luna... They called it a victory." The unwanted memory returned. "My men and I were just too stubborn to lose..."

"How did you managed to live, knowing how many died because of you?"

"The resource war..."I whispered absentmindedly, cursing that unwanted memory. "I have no memories of that time. Well… maybe some..." I added reluctantly. I was silent for a moment. "But I remember enough to tell you the same thing that I was told by the mother of one of my soldiers who died back then. 'If not for you, there would be more mourning mothers, so return there and keep your head high. Don't let his death be in vain.' That memory is still burning like a scar." I exhaled heavily and looked softly at her and patted her head, allowing myself to stroke her fox ears. "Soldiers die, Luna. But it's the responsibility of the commanders to not let them die in vain."

"But if you intervened earlier..." she stuttered.

"Then what, Luna? There is no guarantee that Pine Hills would have been attacked. What if other, less prepared settlements were to be targeted? This is one of many risks of war, my Vixen. If I told you everything, you could have failed a hundred or thousand-fold worse elsewhere. You could lose an entire city or even a major battle that would consequently lead to many more casualties. I hoped it would end just in fear alone, but we are at war, my Dear. The other side wants to win as well."

"Why me, Theon?" she asked with a defeated voice full of pain.

"You know why, Luna. You read my soul. What if I die and I have to respawn? It will take me one week. Who will lead our armies? Our enemies will not wait for my return. I need you, Luna. I need your wisdom and calm judgement," I replied, and she slowly nodded.

"I hate it, Theon. But you are right, I liked the thrill when everything went according to my plans. We are the Royal Family, so the burden of command should be on us." Luna took a deep breath. "I think I'm better now."

"No, you are not." I grabbed her and hugged her, allowing her to cry a little longer, but she was on her way to recovery. "I'm so sorry for not preparing you for all of this."

•••

Alan and El'rin arrived in Avalon three days later. She received a wonderful long dress, but it was a bit strange; it was entirely black. But just one glance at where they were located made her understand why. They found themselves in a green meadow, where a gentle wind was moving the small beautiful flowers. They saw in the distance a few people waiting for them. Behind them arrived other wagons that carried those who had fallen in defence of Pine Hills. An honour guard of the Guardsmen Corps, wearing black and gold ceremonial armours and black capes, took the white coffins and formed a procession. The three Guardsmen that accompanied them raised the flags of Avalon, the Guardsmen Corps, and the much smaller flag of Pine Hills. Alan, mustering all his strength, rose and proudly led the procession to the place where the Royal Family itself was waiting for them. In silent awe, they saw the King himself honouring the fallen in a never-ending salute as the coffins passed him. The Queens of Avalon bowed in silence, giving their praise to those thirty-six brave people. Alan saw the tears in Queen Luna's eyes and wondered why...

They were stopped by the Praetorians when they wanted to move aside from before the Royal Family. When they were quickly but gently shown to stay just near the King and Queen Luna, surprised by such an honour they stood silently. There were not many other people here besides the few family members of just a few Guardsmen. Most of them had no family in Avalon or no family at all. But distanced slightly away stood a crowd of the Military Academy Cadets, along with the other Guardsmen, who knew the fallen and wanted to be here. It was strange to see them all waiting in silence, with faces so proud and sad. After close friends and families said their farewells, the honour guard lowered the coffins into their graves and saluted their fallen brothers.

"All hail Heroes of Avalon!" King Theon's voice roared, breaking the silence of the cemetery. "Your watch is over. Your duty is completed! Your bravery saved more than five thousand souls who lived in the City you swore to protect. Sleep well my Guardsmen, sleep well braves of Avalon! May the angels take your souls and bring them to the glorious fields of the heavens. May you dine amongst the other Heroes in the halls of eternal happiness where you belong!" After the brief moment of silence, he bellowed, "All praise to the Heroes!"

"Honour to their memory!" The Guardsmen and Cadets replied in unison. Their voice was like rolling thunder, echoing between the walls.

El'rinn realised she was crying, but she still held Alan's hand. He let her go and raised it in a knightly salute when King Theon raised his own hand. The graves were filled with fresh soil which quickly disappeared under a blanket of tiny, sapphire blue flowers commonly known as scorpion grasses, though most people called them differently; Forget-me-nots. Queen Irene took a few steps forward and her black mourning dress changed into a vibrant gold. El'rin, in awe, looked at her golden Halo as the Saintess of Avalon put her hands in the prayer for the fallen. Without a word, everyone felt the gratitude and pride of the souls leaving their bodies in the golden lights that connected the Heavens and Nilmerthis. Soon after, it was over. The cadets left their flowers and lit their candles, a new tradition that El'rinn first saw in Avalon.

"Lord Alan." The King nodded to him. "Lady El'rin."

"Your Majesty!" Alan's voice still trembled with emotions.

"It is said that Heroes are born when the commanders make mistakes. Please, accept my deepest apologies for creating so many Heroes."

Alan and El'rin stood frozen, seeing the sad face of the King and the tears in the eyes of Queen Luna. Alan was speechless and couldn't utter a single word. In his world, it was unthinkable that a noble would shed a tear at the death of their soldiers. But here he stood in front of the King who truly cared for his subjects. He and El'rin could only bow deeply, happy they were in the service of Avalon.

•••

Alan and El'rin found themselves in front of the Palace, in profound shock upon seeing the Praetorians and Guardsmen who were standing in ceremonial rows saluting them. Behind him were standing three Guardsmen from Pine Hills who had escorted them. El'rin quickly fixed Alan's uniform and the cloak that masked his lost arm. She wasn't sure how it happened, but they had been escorted by Praetorians to the fabled shop of Lady Wendy, where El'rin received the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. When Lady Wendy informed her it was a gift, she found herself close to fainting. And suddenly there they were, in front of the Palace heading towards its gates. They entered the Palace where the gathered people cheered them, especially Alan as the Hero of Pine Hills. The huge doors to the throne room were opened in front of them and they entered. The rows of nobles of Avalon and Knights saluted them as they approached the steps to the podium where the Royal Family was waiting.

"Sir Alan Parr, the Hero of Pine Hills with his Lady El'rin!" They were announced, and he felt El'rin's grip on his hand tighten. She blushed and smiled at him happily.

"My knight!" The King stood up and put his hand on his heart, nodding at Alan slightly. "I summoned you here to reward you for your bravery and valiant defence of the City of Pine Hills. But before we continue..."

Queen Irene stood up, once again shining with golden light. Once again, they saw her Halo, but this time she flew in the air as she put her hands to prayer. She opened her eyes and looked at Alan as he melted under her gaze. No woman could compete with the beauty of the Queens of Avalon, and right now, one of them was just a few steps away. The Saintess of Avalon extended her hands as everyone heard her gentle voice.

"I wish upon the heavens to restore what was taken and heal all wounds and scars you bear."

The golden flame burned away his shirt, his cape, and revealed the ugly scar where his left arm once was. The flames formed an arm, and he felt that he once again could move it. In a bright flash, it was over. His clothes were back again, and he looked at both his hands in shock- the lost arm had regrown or was recreated, he couldn't tell which. He immediately knelt in front of his Queen. El'rin dropped to her knees as well and thanked Queen Irene from the depths of her heart. King Theon caught his Queen and helped her sit on her throne. It was then that Alan and El'rin realised that she had used The Miracle, a legendary power bestowed only on the most powerful of Saints and Saintesses.

"I, King Theon Avalon, The Righteous Dungeon, The Champion of Eriar, The Chosen of Archangel, The Bringer of Equilibrium, The Friend of the Eternals, and The Protector of the Weak, wish to recognize the bravery of Alan Parr, the Hero of Pine Hills and welcome him as the new Viscount of Avalon!"