Julius's ice cream was placed on the table in front of him. Three scoops of vanilla ice cream between two banana halves, the entire confection drizzled in strawberry jam and chocolate sauce, with a cherry on top.
"Here you go, sir, one banana split sundae," the waitress smiled as she placed down his meal before turning to his temporary partner, Mr.Watkins. "And a child's Vanilla ice cream cone for you."
"Thank you," Julius said as he gave the waitress his best smile. She left before turning back to Watkins. He was a tall man with slicked-back hair and a perfect black suit. His face was a mask of seriousness.
Watkins stared at his cone for a minute as Julius dug in with gusto.
"What are we doing here?" Watkins asked.
"We're eating ice cream, Watkins. What did you think we were doing? Hey, eat up before it all melts." Julius encouraged Watkins with a spoonful of ice cream.
"Sir, I joined the Bureau of Paranormal Activity to protect people, and you just told me that a pack of corpse-eating monsters --"
"Ghouls," Julius interrupted him around a mouth full of ice cream.
"You told me that these ghouls have moved into the local cemetery and killed three people --" Watkins said.
"And desecrated thirty-nine corpses," Julius added unhelpfully.
"And no disrespect, sir, but why the hell are we sitting here at two in the morning eating snacks?!"
"Watkins, our job isn't just to kill every monster and magical creature on this earth, even if that is the case this time, but that's the exception, not the rule. Plenty of para's, paranormals, are just here to live in peace, and we let them because it benefits the people who pay our bills. we are the paranormal police, not the kill squad." Julius finished his little speech by popping a banana into his mouth, enjoying the flavour as he watched Watkins stew on what he said. Julius didn't think he was going to take what he said to heart until he was forced to, it was annoying, but he could live with it. What he couldn't live with was the man just sitting there staring at his ice cream as if it were a crime against humanity.
"Watkins," Julius called the man back to attention.
"Yes, sir"
"You are about to go into a life-and-death struggle with monsters, Watkins. You might die tonight. Can you honestly tell me you would rather die without eating some of this fantastic ice cream?" Julius asked as he took another spoonful of his treat.
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"I'm not sure I agree with that sentiment, sir," Watkins interjected.
Julius just flashed him his best smile as he popped the cherry into his mouth.
"Hey, life is full of little moments that you need to appreciate because before you know it, you're dead, especially in this line of work."
Watkins looked at him like he was crazy, not at all comprehending what Julius believed to be one of the most important lessons for a field agent. Finally, the man picked up the small vanilla ice cream. Slowly, painfully slowly, the man licked his ice cream. The action looked so painful that if Julius didn't know any better, he would have sworn Watkins was licking sewage-flavoured ice cream.
"Your ruining this for me," Julius grumbled as he threw his spoon down in disgust, Watkins having ruined the moment by being so obtuse.
Julius tossed the entire plastic container over his shoulder. The tray flew across the dinner and landed perfectly into the garbage as if by magic, which it was. Julius pulled out an oversized folder from a coat pocket that was far too small to house the large pile of documents he had pulled out and set it down on the table for Watkins to review.
"Take a look."
Julius pulled out a newspaper, sliding it across to Watkins as he ate his ice cream.
"1200 lb woman became trapped in the Virginia museum of fine arts bathrooms for over six hours before firefighters were able to rescue her?"
"No, not … wait, seriously? No, wait, read the other side."
"The other one!" Julius flipped the newspaper over and surreptitiously took the front page about the fat women in the museum for later, as Watkins read the article he had wanted him to.
"Grave robbers strike again at the woodland cemetery. Multiple tombs have been broken into and vandalized."
Watkins looked up at Julius with a puzzled look on his face. Julius didn't immediately respond as he was too busy giggling at the story of the 1200 lb woman. The image of the overweight woman with a toilet stuck to her ass was amazing.
"I'm sorry," Julius put down the newspaper as he tried to school his face, "anyway, two tourists went missing a week ago. Their bodies were found two blocks away from Woodland cemetery, having been mangled and eaten. Detectives thought they were killed and then their remains eaten by dogs. Six weeks before that, the groundskeeper at Woodland cemetery went missing, and this morning the security guard who was guarding the place went missing last night. I didn't know that last part till we got here, but it is another piece of evidence of a ghoul's infestation.
"How many ghouls should we expect?"
"Based on the number of corpses eaten, somewhere in the two dozen range, give or take six."
"Then why are we sitting here." Watkins got up and walked out of the dinner, dropping his mostly intact ice cream on the table.
"What a fucking asshole," Julius muttered. "Just because you didn't like it didn't mean you had to be rude. Give us globe-trotting monster hunters a bad name, why don't you." Julius muttered as Watkins rushed out of the dinner, not even acknowledging the mess he left behind. Julius walked out after his partner, leaving a hundred-dollar tip on the table as compensation to the poor waitress as he rushed after his new partner.