Sunday, February 9, 2025
The Prompt: Is your view on love based more from fear, or is it optimistic? Explain.
I don't have any views on love. Aside from teenagers making out in the halls, I've never seen it. I guess I'm agnostic when it comes to love. I'm keeping an open mind with a grain of salt.
I'm really bored in this motel room. It's stuffy in here and I can't open the windows. I don't watch television and there's only so many games I can play on my phone before I want to throw it at the wall. Still, it's way better than spending the day at the mall while Mom works.
I'm trying to be alert for more signs that Desperate Wish is working. I just don't know what to look for. Mom seems more relaxed and cheerful so that's good. That alone is worth a lot of the trouble the spell seems to be causing. She deserves better than anything she's ever had.
Days making my bed: 72
Days cleaning the kitchen: -
Days studying html: 27
Days until the full moon: 3
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Monday, February 10, 2025
The Prompt: How can I step out of my comfort zone?
That's an interesting question. On one hand, I never think of myself as being uncomfortable in any situation; on the other, I'm never very comfortable, either. I just am. But I guess the term is more about being willing to do things one has never done before even if it makes them anxious. By that definition, I'm going to try to seem more friendly. I don't smile or talk to people much and I guess I don't seem very approachable. I might get along with people better if I'm not so aloof.
About Travis: At school today I kept getting a creeping cold prickle on the back of my neck and between my shoulder blades. When I turn around I see Travis for just a second out of the corner of my eye. I don't know why he keeps staring at me or why it's causing a physical sensation. I never gave any credit to it when people talk about feeling like they're being watched, but maybe it really is a thing.
Days making my bed: 73
Days cleaning the kitchen: -
Days studying html: 28
Days until the full moon: 2
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Tuesday, February 11, 2025
The Prompt: How can I remind myself to stay present and enjoy the journey?
What journey? I've never understood what people mean when they talk about things like that. As for enjoying it, I certainly haven't been getting much . I don't even experience enjoyment most of the time — not that I'm conscious of, anyway. Mostly it's when I'm cooking. I smile just thinking about it. Not having access to a kitchen is driving me barmy. Anyway, I've decided to stop and make a note every time I become aware that I'm feeling enjoyment.
About Travis: I know he's around. I catch glimpses, I still feel him watching me. But when I look around trying to see him more clearly I can't. I haven't actually seen him all day even though he sits in my line-of-sight in a couple of classes. He's right there, in his seat, minding my own business. But my brain or my eyes refuses to register him. What the fuck is going on here?
Mom got a phone call that the lady who owns The Willows wants to meet me and Mom personally. We'll be going over there after school when Mom is between her two jobs.
Days making my bed: 74
Days cleaning the kitchen: -
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Days studying html: 29
Days until the full moon: 1
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Wednesday, February 12, 2025
The Prompt: Am I achieving the goals that I set for myself?
So far. I've maintained my habits, except for cleaning the kitchen because we haven't had a kitchen to clean. I'm spending more time studying html because I've been stuck in the motel room with nothing else to do, so I guess that's a good thing.
Today's the last day to buy candy and carnations. I forgot all about it until lunch time. I got Mom a caramel nut cluster box and a white carnation which will be delivered Friday.
Travis and I have turned… well, whatever we've been doing… into a kind of game. He stares at me until it chills my neck and tries to fade into the woodwork before I get turned around. I've caught him twice. Both times he's winked, and was gone again the moment my attention was diverted for even an instant. I really wonder about that boy, now. It feels like a weird blend of tag and 'Where's Waldo?' with what might be magic.
The meeting at the mobile home community happened. Ms. Galloway is short, dumpy, and seems nice. She brought us into the trailer that serves as an office. She'd already run the background and credit checks on Mom, and all Mom had to do was sign the papers. Mom looked like someone had smacked her with a live fish. She'd barely hoped to get the trailer at all, let alone so fast. So tonight is the full moon, and the last night we'll be spending in the motel.
I'm wearing my key to the new trailer on a string around my neck, to keep it close and remind me of what I can do.
Days making my bed: 75
Days cleaning the kitchen: -
Days studying html: 30
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Thursday, February 13, 2025
The Prompt: What do I want to learn or explore next?
Spells, magic, and that kind of thing — duh. The Desperate Wish spell worked amazingly. So has every other spell I've tried. Of course I have questions: Is it something about me? Magic in general? Spells from the one particular website? Is there some kind of price to doing spells? Equivalent exchange? I plan to spend this upcoming weekend just researching, every spare minute when I'm not unpacking and putting things away.
In our new home! This trailer feels twice the size of our old one. It's got a deck! The kitchen appliances, washer and dryer, and so-forth are all in like new condition. The doors are solid and the windows don't let cold air come whistling in even when they're closed. It's in the same school district but a different bus route, though Mom is still going to take me to school for a while. I think she's come to like it.
The same guys who helped us move out of our old trailer helped us get our stuff into this one. One flatbed truck, two guys,one trip from the storage unit to the new trailer, and a case of beer was all it took. The guys are friends of Mom's manager at the diner — and they're Cajun! It was a real treat to hear them talk. I'm sure they get told that a lot.
Days making my bed: 76
Days cleaning the kitchen: 31
Days studying html: 31
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Friday, February 14, 2025 - Valentines Day
The Prompt: How do you want people to feel when they're around you?
Honestly, I've never thought about this before or even cared. It's something to think about now, I guess. More positive things seem to happen to people that others enjoy being around. It's something to observe and take note on.
Candy and carnations were passed out. I note that I did feel pleasure when I put the white carnation in a vase in the middle of our dining table in our new home. Mom told me that's the first flower she's ever been given and she's going to preserve it forever. So now I'm taking note of Mother's Day and saving to buy her something really nice.
I talked Mom into accepting the master bedroom. I don't want her to feel like a subordinate in her own home, and to her teenage daughter no less. My room isn't much smaller than the master bedroom of the other trailer, and it's right next to the main bathroom so it doesn't matter that it doesn't have its own. The windows are bigger. Mom and I hung bed sheets until we can get privacy curtains that actually fit. Yes, I know it's a nicer neighborhood and we (probably) don't need to worry about meth heads looking in. We still want privacy and security.
Days making my bed: 77
Days cleaning the kitchen: 32
Days studying html: 32
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Saturday, February 15, 2025
The Prompt: What's a little thing I can do that will have a big impact?
Probably adding some kind of exercise to my morning routine. The only other exercise I get is gym class where I do as little as possible and try to stay off everyone's radar. But what kind of exercise do I need? What did I suck at most on the physical fitness challenge? Running. I'm not dead last but I'm in the rear of the pack. I'll focus on that for the next ninety days and see where it gets me. I just need a pair of running shoes. Okay, found a pair that I like for $34.99, which will leave me enough to buy running socks. In the meantime I'll start with what I've got.
Mom and I went to the Bargain Basement looking for furniture and household items. We found curtains for the living room, kitchen, and bathrooms, and I talked Mom into buying a recliner so she can come in from work, drop her kit, and put her feet up for a few damn minutes. I finally had to remind her that I would probably use it when she's not home so it's technically both of ours. It's ugly but clean and in good repair, and I can always throw a blanket over it when it becomes too much of an eyesore.
Days making my bed: 78
Days cleaning the kitchen: 33
Days studying html: 33