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Chapter 34 Sappy Endings

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I started combat by Slipstreaming to its flank so Iris and I could engage the sap golem. It required taking a risk since I’d have to wait five minutes to use the spell again, but we couldn’t fight a creature with over 2,000 health without crit bonuses for flanking attacks. Part of the challenge involved the creature’s size. Someone in the back might hit it with a spear or halberd over Iris’ shoulder if it had been taller, but the monster’s squat profile eliminated the option.

After we struck, several things happened at once. I checked my combat log, which parsed the events into digestible information.

/Fabulosa hits Sap Golem for 0 damage (24 resisted).

/Sap Golem is immune to piercing damage.

/Fletcher misses Sap Golem.

/Charitybelle hits Sap Golem with Scorch for 8 damage (14 resisted).

/You hit Sap Golem with Charge for 44 damage (2 resisted).

/You are sticky.

/Iris hits Sap Golem with Charge for 22 damage (36 resisted).

/Iris is sticky.

/Sap Golem is immune to slashing damage.

/Sap Golem regenerates 10 health.

/Sap Golem hits you for 28 damage (6 resisted).

/Sap Golem hits Iris for 31 damage (4 resisted).

Since we magically imbued our attacks, we caused some damage, but inflicting less than 5 percent of the creature’s health amounted to a terrible opener. Fabulosa’s arrow harmlessly impaled it. Bludgeoning proved to be the only effective weapon type, but wet sap particles splattered me whenever I struck. Not only did I receive a 1-point agility debuff for being Sticky, but pulling the mace from its gooey skin slowed my rate of attacks.

What further spelled our doom involved Charitybelle’s fire spell doing minimal damage. The creature’s health fell when the pine needles sticking to it burned, but it stopped taking damage after this kindling burned away. The creature’s regeneration added the cherry on top, eliminating the possibility of winning a sustained battle.

Even though Iris switched to a mace, our subsequent output grew worse. Our Charge maneuvers fell on cooldown, so Iris and I only caused 42 total, and Scorches from Fabulosa and Fletcher did nothing as they’d already burned off the pine needles. Considering the monster’s 10-point regeneration rate, we collectively gave as much damage as we took—a race we’d easily lose.

Since the gummy bear had no face, Iris and I weren’t getting critical attack bonuses for rear attacks. It meted out damage in both directions with equal poise.

The golem extended its body, attempting to grapple Iris with a maneuver called Smothering Hug.

Iris triggered Anticipate to avoid it.

Half a minute later, the golem extended its body again, but she recognized its tell and backed away, foiling the creature’s attempt. Half a minute later, it tried the same ploy on me, but we’d grown wise to its ways. The clock in my user interface made this exceptionally easy to avoid. Every 30 seconds, I yelled a warning, and we both backed off.

Our limited options complicated the battle. Charitybelle switched to using a sling, a weapon she’d only practiced in Belden’s military academy. Her ranged bludgeoning attacks inflicted as much as Fabulosa’s Ice Bolts, which proved to be the most effective spell. The gelatinous creature showed vulnerability to cold, but one spell wouldn’t sway favor to our advantage. Who would have thought we needed cold spells to clear a nest of undead? Fabulosa’s continuous casting had almost emptied her mana, even though she’d consumed a minor mana potion.

After a few minutes of fighting, Iris and I climbed to full health while the sap golem had lost a quarter of its life. The only problem involved our depleting mana reserves. We’d become empty long before the monster expired.

Things got worse in the melee. The accumulated Sticky debuffs from the splatters of sap weighed down our weapons and armor. Sap build-up caused my arms to stick to my sides, and I needed to keep my legs far apart to prevent my knees from sticking together. The aggregate weight of the sap caused me to lurch backward when I swung, and I couldn’t connect with force when I struck. Even though Slipstream had refreshed, falling from this height removed me from combat, and I couldn’t quickly rejoin bogged down with so much sap.

The golem’s health pool climbed back to 80 percent. Iris had the same Sticky problem with the accumulated splatter. Ribbons of Rejuvenates shimmered around Iris and me, keeping us nearly at full health, but doing so depleted everyone’s mana.

This wasn’t working.

Keeping my balance forced me to be more cautious with my attacks. I tried a careful but forceful wide swing to see if I could increase my damage. When I raised my mace, it pulled off a few dead pine needles from an overhanging branch, making the weapon look like a lollypop pulled from a shaggy carpet.

The sap disgusted me, but it gave me an idea. I shouted to Fabulosa. “Can you cast Fireball?”

Fabulosa furrowed her brow as if I’d asked her something absurd. She squinted and shook her head. “Not without hitting you and Iris. You’re in melee!”

“But do you have enough mana for a Fireball?”

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She shook her head. “Almost. I have 28 mana. But fire doesn’t damage it anymore. Why?”

“Stop casting Ice Bolts. Save mana for Fireball. I’m going to try something. When I give you a thumbs up, I want you to climb to the ground as fast as possible, okay?”

“You want me to climb all the way down?”

I pointed to the tree trunk behind her. “No. Just climb down close enough to see the ground.”

After twenty seconds, Fabulosa made an announcement. “Okay. I’ve got enough mana now.” She scanned the limbs of the evergreen canopy below and gave a thumbs-up gesture after finding a viable climbing route.

A person could always count on Fabulosa to be a game-day player. She didn’t hesitate or waste time with questions and debates. If someone had a plan, she jumped on the bandwagon first.

After putting away my Black River Cudgel, I backed away from the battle and rubbed myself with branches, covering myself with so many pine needles I looked like an evergreen wolfman from head to toe.

Iris kept the monster occupied while I donned my new costume.

I told her to back off as I returned to melee range unarmed. The next time the sap golem extended itself, I gave myself over to its embrace.

/Sap Golem hits you with Smothering Hug.

/You are asphyxiated.

/You are blinded.

/You are grappled.

/You are silenced.

The creature’s droopy feet let go of their hold of the tree limb as it wrapped itself around me. I felt the warmth from its body on my skin. Its head wrapped around my face, obscuring my vision. Interface elements like buffs and debuffs remained the only thing visible.

Activating my Slipstream interface allowed me to observe events. I pointed to Fabulosa, then downward to show she should start climbing as fast as possible. I couldn’t breathe, so I hoped she realized the clock was ticking. I couldn’t carry this thing for long.

And wouldn’t you know it? That madwoman leaped from our perch into the canopy below.

I tried to yell, but the hot gum covering my mouth muted the sound.

Fabulosa landed without Featherfall or safety net mechanics, bouncing up and down on an evergreen branch. She scrambled again and dropped to the canopy layer beneath her, beyond my line of sight.

I hadn’t expected her to beat me down there. After straightening my back to lift my burden, I touched my forefingers to my thumbs to signal my allies that I was okay. My fingers offered the only means of communication.

Carrying the golem, I turned sideways and released my embrace. My suit of needles allowed me to break free of the creature’s grasp and rid myself of debuffs. My center of gravity shifted enough to throw off my balance, and I pitched backward and plummeted to the forest floor.

After a second, I triggered my Slipstream interface and chose a safe tree limb in the lowermost canopy, next to Fabulosa. The branch looked sturdy, and she’d landed hard, losing 60 percent of her health, but she survived the impact.

Slipstream wouldn’t work while Grappled, but that wasn’t a problem. My wolfman costume peeled off quicker than a wet Band-Aid. I swooshed safely next to Fabulosa, landing without a hint of inertia. I didn’t even shake the branch.

The same couldn’t be said for the sap golem—which landed on the ground like a garbage bag full of marmalade. It splashed across the carpet of pine needles.

I startled Fabulosa when I Slipstreamed beside her, and her hands tightened and relaxed.

Fabulosa elbowed me. “Nice kill, slick.”

“Thanks, but…”

“Wait, a sec. I should have leveled. I didn’t get experience, did you?”

“Not yet. Look! It’s still alive.” I pointed at the ground.

Though the blob splattered across the ground, its recovery looked like watching a reverse slow-motion movie of a water balloon. It contracted and pulled itself together with a remarkable aplomb. The golem had lost only half of its health—the fall had barely caused as much damage as our entire combat.

After it pulled itself together, growing to more than double its size in pine needles. The golem looked like a walking haystack.

“You’re on, kiddo.”

“Let’s see you regenerate from this.” Fabulosa cast Fireball onto the sap golem, and it exploded in a column of fire so great it reached the canopy above us.

Covered in sap, I couldn’t feel the heat, but it distorted the air and blew Fabulosa’s hair around. Spy weavers winked in and out of existence around us, and puffs of blue vapors extinguished the flames in the tree. They ignored the plight of the golem below. Saving sap golems from immolation fell outside the purview of their duty.

Congratulations!

You are level 18

You have gained a level. You have increased your stamina by 1, strength by 1, and agility by 1. You have received 1 power point. You have 2,072/2,200 experience points toward level 19.

Fabulosa and I looked at each other. “Ding!”

The blue smoke from the spy weavers cleared.

“When the spy weavers didn’t help the golem after C-Belle Scorched it, I figured it was worth a try.”

Fabulosa nodded. “By the way, I’m in pain.”

“Oh, sorry.” I cast Restore and Rejuvenate on Fabulosa to heal most of her damage. “And thanks for taking the express train down. I didn’t think the smothering effect would happen so quickly.”

“And we didn’t waste a point on Featherfall.” While we performed a Rest and Mend, Fabulosa gave me a fist bump, reminiscent of our hunting days in Belden.

As we climbed back up, I accumulated a layer of bark. I felt like a sticky mess, but when we rejoined the others, their whoops and cheers made it tolerable.

Charitybelle’s eyes widened to ping-pong balls. “Wow, that was impressive. The number of contestants hadn’t changed, so I knew you guys were okay.”

Fletcher whistled. “You should have seen our eight-legged friend. It spat and hissed up a tempest. I’ve never seen a monster so angry.”

Charitybelle didn’t look as if she feared spiders anymore. She shook her hammer. “Well, that’s too bad. Because we’re going to squash it.”

Iris, who had leveled to 15 after the sap golem’s death, already looked for access to the spider’s perch. The tree limb reached the spire 20 yards away. A short climb up the spire would put us in melee with the arc weaver.

The spider watched us from its perch atop the metal column. Any time it wanted to, it could scurry down the shaft leading to its underground lair, but it held its ground. The only way we could reach it involved jumping off the branch onto the metal web and climbing—an approach that appealed to no one.

Tree sap covered Iris’s legs and weapons, although the tar-and-feather treatment I’d received eclipsed her condition. I tested the weight of my arms and raised them. “I don’t know if I can fight anymore.”

Fabulosa reached to pat my shoulder, thought better of it, and recoiled. “That’s okay. We’ll sideline you for the next part. I hope you haven’t ruined your ugly robe.”