image [https://i.imgur.com/ZvJEXtt.jpg]

After spilling my inventory onto the floor, Femmeny gasped. Between her low-level and shabby gear, my equipment would be quite a boost for her predicament. She read the item descriptions while I explained their features. She misunderstood how much of it worked, so it took a lot of explaining.

The gnolls and wererats surrounding us showed no interest in my treasures.

Femmeny leaned forward to see what I’d brought her. She couldn’t or didn’t want to leave her seat, so I picked up and handed her the best stuff.

“You have a battle standard? Is this Winterbyte’s?”

“Yep. We knocked her out earlier this morning.”

Femmeny breathed a sigh of relief. “That was you? Thank you so much for that! I didn’t see her name on the contest player list yesterday. She was so annoying.”

“It wasn’t easy. Winterbyte was strong.”

Femmeny fingered her whiskers. “You have no idea. She was such a super brain. She always figured everything out. We were besties until she found a scroll to change her species. I was not about to team up with a dog. Anyway, that’s when I learned if you’re going to backstab a gnoll, you better finish the job—but whatever. She held a grudge, and that’s when I switched to something more powerful than a human. Although I would have given anything to find another lycanthrope—I think a werefox would have been cute, or maybe a werelynx, or a weretiger. But if I turned into a cat, I wouldn’t want to eat kobolds.”

She lost her train of thought, so I returned the conversation back to Winterbyte. “At least, we knocked her out as number 33. Didn’t make the top half.” I smiled, hoping the news pleased her.

“I’m so glad—you have no idea. Do you know she made this?” Femmeny’s bony ankle tapped the leg of her throne. “Winter discovered the kobolds in a state of anarchy—something about their queen going crazy. That’s when she hatched a plan to take over the mountain.”

“Do you mind if I ask what happened between you?”

Femmeny thought for a while before she answered. “Do you know about that story of the scorpion and the frog?”

I nodded. Everyone knew the parable.

“When money is involved, everyone is a scorpion. Our partnership completely ran its course, so I made my move when Winter got too powerful. But it totally blew up in my face. It was so annoying, and it was a miracle I survived. I’ve been scared of her coming down for revenge, so I’ve been busy building a new city around me because there’s nothing else to do, but the kobolds don’t know how to do anything right. They’re completely useless. ”

“Tangled webs, eh?”

Femmeny bounced her eyebrows. “Hmm. Maybe, but that’s how you catch flies.”

I considered my situation and laughed. “Too true!”

“Before I kill you, tell me what you’ve learned about Miros. You’re too dangerous to keep around, but I bet a smart guy like you has tons of secrets. What have I missed? How can I improve my odds in the contest?”

I showed her the Artilith, the celestial core I took from the relic. “You’ll want this. You’ll be able to upgrade a weapon with it. That’s what I planned to do. Cores give powerful bonuses to buildings. So if you’re rebuilding your settlement, using a core on a building might unlock powerful things.”

I lost my infravision by removing my shaman beads with the rest of my gear. “Just so you know, I’m blind without these.”

“That’s okay. It’s better you can’t see, in case you have tricks up your sleeve. Winterbyte had her runes. You don’t know how to make runes, do you?”

“I do, but I’m not very good at them. I have nothing to hurt you or break your command.”

“That’s good. So why don’t you tell me what I need to know? I can’t wait to hear your story.”

I recapped my adventures, including Hawkhurst and how powerful Fabulosa had become. We talked about the importance of skills and the best powers. Aside from gaining an insane agility score from her transformation, it surprised me to learn she had no melee abilities. Instead, she’d invested power points into primal spells, which she used to kill whatever the kobolds captured for her—which wasn’t much. I felt sorry that she couldn’t leave the throne room without losing control. Without the option to earn experience from killing controlled creatures, she’d been caught in a trap of her own making.

When I finished my dissertation, I heard Femmeny clap and rub her hands. “It’s been great talking to you. You have no idea how boring the game has become. I’d love to keep you around for the company, but you’re way too dangerous.”

“That’s probably best. Without mind control, I’d Slipstream to your flank and one-shot you.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“I’ll get good experience points from you, but I’ll need to knock off the crown when your health reaches single digits. I can’t level from creatures under my control. Open wide, please.”

I felt a filthy rag go to my mouth and obliged the person stuffing it in by opening my jaw wider.

The voice spoke again. “I can’t take any chances you’ll be able to cast spells. We gotta watch out for those instants!”

Femmeny couldn’t be more correct—she needed to be careful. I nodded to the blackness but didn’t know if she could see the gesture.

“If I ever get out of here, I’ll conquer Hawkhurst for that combat arena. At least that will give me something to do. It’s so boring down here. Thanks for all the help. Maybe we can hang out after the contest. I hope you won’t hold a grudge.”

I spoke into the muffled rag, and Femmeny removed it.

“Oh, no. It’s all part of the game—you’re good. How do you want to kill me?”

“I’ll need you at my feet because I can’t leave the throne. Hand me your spear. It’s nice and long.”

I handed Creeper to her. “If I put on my mithril chest plate armor, it’ll take longer, and you’ll work up your piercing rank.”

She handed me my armor. “That’s a good idea. I’m not giving you your robe. It gives too much willpower—we don’t want to take chances, do we?”

Femmeny snapped her fingers, and I felt gnolls moving behind me. They bound my hands and ankles together. When they finished, they padded to the far side of the room, waiting for their next command.

“Go ahead and heal yourself, too. I won’t need to silence you until I take off your crown. Can you wriggle so that you’re beneath my throne?”

I rolled myself toward her voice until I could feel her feet on either side of me. I looked up at the blackness. “Is this good?”

She hummed in affirmation. “It was great to meet you, Patch. It’s a shame you’ll go in such an embarrassing way, but that’s how the cookies crumble.”

Before I could reply, Femmeny stuffed the rag back in my mouth and brought Creeper down into me. The gag helped me avoid bothering her with disgusting gurgles. When I reached zero health, she’d be able to remove the crown without instants gumming up her plan.

/Femmeny hits you for 11 points of damage (10 resisted).

/Femmeny hits you for 10 points of damage (12 resisted).

/Femmeny hits you for 12 points of damage (8 resisted).

Her terrible attack damage would improve if she listened to my advice about ranking up her melee skills. I couldn’t blame her for the poor results. And sitting down while working a spear made her attacks awkward.

I cast Rejuvenate on myself while Femmeny struck me with Creeper. The spell effects provided a faint light, and my sensitive eyes picked up glimpses of Femmeny’s rodent face grimacing with effort as she worked the spear. Over and over, she attacked.

Femmeny couldn’t have been more correct—this would make for a humiliating knockout.

A halo silhouetted the wererat as she plunged the spear into me. At first, I thought the glow came from my healing spell, but it made no sense that Femmeny had eclipsed the light effects.

I heard the telltale whoosh of Slipstream.

Before I could warn Femmeny to watch out, a familiar voice cried out in the darkness. “Blood Drinker!”

A scimitar cleaved into Femmeny, vanishing her from The Book of Dungeons.

Fabulosa wiped the blade, Blood Drinker, on the bundle of belongings resting on the throne. Gore, filth, and sweat covered her.

Game alerts scrawled across my interface, but I dismissed them to focus on the present. It felt like I’d woken up from a dream—a feeling I hadn’t had since I came to Miros. Had Fabulosa one-shotted Femmeny? And why had I allowed her to murder me?

At last, Fabulosa spoke. “We need to talk.” She dropped to the ground and began performing a Rest and Mend while untying me. I noticed she avoided sitting on the throne. She had her glow stone affixed to her mithril chest armor. It had created the halo behind Femmeny before she disappeared.

“Where did you come from?”

She pointed upward. “Those windows, yonder. I watched y’all yapping, then you gave her your things, and she tied you up. When she stabbed you with Creeper, I jumped down.”

I looked at her scimitar, whose kill bonus tallied to an incredible +123. The combat logs quadrupled her attack from a critical hit and Aggression. “You one-shotted her 696!”

“That’s not even a high for me.” Fabulosa looked upward toward the center of the ceiling. “Up there, I critted a kobold for 704. Not bad, eh?”

“Grand entrances become you, my dear.”

I expected a smile, but Fabulosa just looked at the ground.

Usually, she basked in flattery, but I could tell something still bothered her, so I changed the subject. “How in the world did you find me? These tunnels are a maze.”

She pulled out the Divine Bow that she used on Winterbyte. “Remember when I shot you back in the panopticon?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about that. Accidents happen.”

“Please. You pulled up the battle standard before I had the idea to track you.”

“Ah! And you followed me through the kobold tunnels the whole time?”

“Yeah, mostly. But we took different routes. This dungeon Swiss cheeses everywhere. I fussed with kobolds and bats the whole way. Did you figure out how to hide from the bats?”

“The blind watchers? I Dug holes and covered myself. That’s how I got so dirty.”

“You didn’t need to go that far. I pancaked against the ground. They’re blind, remember? Just pretend you’re part of the floor.” She held up her scimitar. “Blood Drinker proved to be a lifesaver. This, plus Aggression, is insane. I one-shotted everything—except for a giant mole and some trogs. They’re the only things down here giving experience.”

“You killed the giant mole? And you fought troglodytes?” I admired her nameplate level. She’d gained two levels. “Oh, woah. And you’re level 27.”

“I dinged on Femmeny.”

“Thanks for coming after me. I thought I could handle myself against these low-level types.”

Fabulosa’s expression darkened as if lost in thought.

I gathered my bearings in the soft light of her glow stone. Femmeny’s control still had me disoriented. I looked around and saw no wererats or gnolls. They must have fled at her death.

“Patch. You and I need to have a heart-to-heart.”

I looked up. “Ugh, sure—about what?”

“I can’t believe you. First, take that thing off.” She pointed at my head, and I took off the Crown of Obedience. I felt no different removing it, but perhaps it worked that way by design. After rereading the throne and crown’s description, I pieced together what happened. Femmeny controlled me without my realizing it.

I turned the crown over in my fingers. “I guess I haven’t been myself lately.”

Fabulosa huffed in disgust and avoided my eyes. “Tell me about it.” Instead of explaining her comment, she just stared, waiting for me to say something.

I reached for Creeper to regain infravision, finding it bundled with the rest of Femmeny’s belongings. Seeing through the spear gave me a better picture of the room, for the light from Fabulosa’s glow stone only extended so far. I handed the infravision necklace to Fabulosa so her vision could improve, too. I followed her gaze to an object lying on the ground—the Artilith.

My shoulders slumped. “When I broke the relic, it popped out.”

Fabulosa nodded. “I know. I watched you take it from the Dark Room.”